Memories
by ByeByeBirdie
Summary: COMPLETED! This is a story of heartbreak, misfortune, & self-discovery. This is a story of shame, betrayal, & jealousy. This is a story of friends trying to make it in the world. This is a story of Lily and James.
1. It All Starts Here

**AN: This is a REPOST! **I'm going through and editing everything that I missed the first time around.

**Author's Note**: YAY! Okay, I know you're all excited that I have finally written another _looooooong_, BUT GOOD, L/J story…or maybe it's just me Either way, I'm finally glad I've taken the time to start a story and actually have a planned-out plot (I know, I'm pathetic but on Wednesday we got out of school early for rumored ice storms so I spent the afternoon reading some stories and getting some new ideas…) Anyway, so I will be updating this story quite frequently, which should make all of you happy…and _me _happy because that means REVIEWS (at least it _better_! J) Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and if you do pleeeeeez review…even if you _don't_, review! Haha.

This story takes place in the after years of Hogwarts…about four years later to be exact. It's about the lifestyles of Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, Lily, and _her _friends and everything they go through starting with for the next nine years. It guides you through their special friendships and relationships, the difficulties of life and the easier things that follow, through heartbreaks and get-togethers, through their own dark secrets and their past, through betrayal and emotional depression, through dismaying deaths and joyful births, through good times and bad time…and most of all, through their _memories_.

**Disclaimer: **We've been through this a million times, but here goes for the one million and _first _time: Anything you do _not _recognize belongs to me, but everything else, _every little thing related to the magic world and the _Harry Potter _world_, belongs to the infamous J.K. Rowling who we all love and adore dearly (and would love even more if she came out with the fifth book……)

* * *

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER 1: It all Starts Here…

Written by ByeByeBirdie

* * *

"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Potter," Sirius greeted, walking in the back door.

"You never knock anymore, do you, Sirius?" Scott Potter stated with a chuckle, sitting at the kitchen table reading a newspaper.

"No need to. He practically lives here," Caroline Potter said laughing, fixing lunch for both herself and her husband.

"Hey, this was my home once," Sirius said laughing. Sirius' mother, the only parent he was living with, had kicked him out while he was sixteen, and the Potters took him in for the next three years until he moved out to live in a simple, non-expensive, tiny, but cozy, home in Alphamstone. He lived there with his roommate, Lily Evans, who was actually dating James Potter at the time. Lily and James been dating for about seven years—off and on—come June 1, and they only just got serious about a year earlier.

James attends London University for Dark Art Magic, studying to be an Auror on a Quidditch scholarship. James was in his third year of college, at age twenty-one.

"I think we still have Potato Chip bags and soda cans lying around from when you lived here," Mrs. Potter said laughing.

"Is James around?" Sirius asked, cracking a smile.

"Sorry, Sirius. I think he went to Diagon Alley with Remus," Mrs. Potter answered. Remus Lupin was another good friend of theirs who was a sea trainer, working with sea monsters at Sea County, right on Juniper Lake, a lake full of sea monsters and other magical sea creatures.

"Didn't James _just _get back?" Sirius asked laughing. It was James' Easter Break for the next two weeks, and James had only arrived minutes before Sirius got to his house.

"Yeah, about a half hour ago to say a short hello and a good-bye. Remus is leaving for Argentina on Tuesday, and he's pretty busy packing up and he's having dinner with Peter or Lily or someone tomorrow, so they both thought that it was best to just go now," Mr. Potter explained. Remus is going to Argentina on a business trip, nothing out of the ordinary.

"And they didn't even think to invite me!" Sirius said, pretending to be hurt.

"Weren't you the one who made the waitress cry at the last restaurant you were at?" Mr. Potter said with a goofy grin.

Sirius laughed. "Okay, well I'm going to go see if I can find them. Maybe this time I'll be able to make _two _waitresses cry!"

"Here, take two brownies," Mrs. Potter offered.

"I don't know…" Sirius trailed off.

"Sirius Black, are you turning down food?" Mr. Potter asked.

"No, I'm just not sure if two will be enough," Sirius said, grabbing a few brownies.

All three of them laughed, as Sirius left the kitchen and apparated to Diagon Alley.

He found Remus and James sitting in a booth at the Fruitfly, one of their favorite restaurants, laughing and talking.

"Sirius!" James cried, jumping out of his seat, and running towards Sirius to give him a huge hug.

"It's been too long, Prongs, my man!" Sirius cried.

"Hey, it isn't my fault I've been busy with so much paperwork and research projects for the past four months that I really haven't had much time to visit."

"Hey, you're the only one of us who is attending university," Sirius pointed out.

"Not true. Savannah goes to college," James pointed out.

"Well, I meant out of Peter, Remus, you and me," Sirius explained. "God, I haven't seen Savannah since the Labor Day picnic last year."

"That_ long_?" James cried.

"Yeah, remember, she was visiting relatives on Christmas this year so she left Christmas Eve night, and I had the Winter Break work project so I flew in on Christmas morning? We just missed each other."

"The last time I saw her was on Valentine's Day briefly when she came by to talk to Lily when she was at Peter's and my apartment," Remus explained. "She hasn't changed at all. Still young and still beautiful."

They all laughed. Savannah Turner was Lily's best friend and a good friend to the rest of them. She was tall, thin and beyond gorgeous. She was about 5'7" and thinner than she should have been, with long, shimmering, honey-blonde hair and stunning baby blue eyes, a sparkle of mystery hiding behind them. She attends Montreal Arts University for Witchcraft and Wizardry in Canada so they never really got to see her much unless she had enough time to take a weekend off. And if she did visit, it was only for a few days considering college takes up so much concentration, especially since she's studying to become a singer, which means audition after audition after concert after concert after recital after recital after tour after tour, etc. etc.

"I think Lily, Peter, Savannah and I are having dinner tomorrow if either of you want to join us," Remus suggested.

"Can't. I have a meeting tomorrow night," Sirius said with a sympathetic look. He was the half-time Transfiguration Professor at a private school outside of Vanhoover, England, a city a few miles past London, called Marmalades Academy for Wizardry. Luckily for him, there was another teacher that he shared his teaching hours with, so he only worked in mostly the mornings, except for Mondays in which he works full-time, in return for Professor Randy Dalton working on Saturdays for hall duty. Unfortunately for him—or maybe it was fortunate—all the girls in the school were practically in love with him, which made it all the much harder to teach. Professor Dalton was probably sixty years old, hard of hearing and balding.

"I'm going up to the Ministry Offices to work with Head Auror, Sir Ardamis Sephilia on some Auror work he wants me to look at tomorrow," James explained.

"That's great!" Remus cried.

"I hope so. I don't want to get my hopes up, but Sir Sephilia was kind of giving me subtle hints as if to say I have the chance for the open Auror position at the London offices."

"That's great, James! Why didn't you _tell_ us?" Sirius cried.

"Because I'm so nervous I'm going to screw something up tomorrow," he explained.

"You _won't_ screw things up," Remus encouraged. "You're one of the best Auror majors that anyone will ever meet."

"Thanks, guys. Now, if I don't see Lily soon, I think my head's going to explode," James said, quickly changing the subject, too worried to think about it anymore.

"Does she know you're home?" Sirius asked. "Lily hasn't mentioned anything about you."

James grinned evilly. "I really wanted to surprise her. We've been sending mail back and forth to each other and she's been telling me she's been having a rough time trying to find a job that balances out with her internship at the _Daily Prophet_ so I figured I'd pop by; a good surprise would make her smile and forget about it."

"So what's the good surprise you got her?" Sirius said jokingly. They all laughed, including James. It was good to talk to Sirius again. Sirius hasn't changed a bit since Hogwarts—still goofy, hilarious, fun, and a major prankster. And still James' best friend.

"Yeah, well I'm surprised she's lived with you for the past four years without killing herself," James said. They all laughed again, enjoying each others' company. It had been a while since the three of them had been together.

* * *

"I'm hooooome!" Sirius said, not bothering to knock on the door.

Lily was in the dining room checking the mail when he came in, her back to the door. "Hey, Sirius. Why are you back so soon? I thought you said you were heading to Hogwarts to stop by and see Dumbledore. I figured you wouldn't be home for hours!" she cried.

He stepped into the dining room where Lily was and chuckled. "I was heading there actually, but I made a little stop along the way and ended up _not _going there. I sent him an owl. I'll probably be seeing him this weekend sometime."

"Oh, and where did you stop?" Lily asked, still shuffling through the mail. "And please don't say Tamara Mitchell's house. I do _not _need that woman in my house again."

"Aww, come on, you know you loved her."

"Loved what? The way she'd constantly tell me my food was way too overcooked, or the way she'd rearrange my furniture?"

Sirius laughed. "Okay, okay, so Tamara wasn't a smart decision."

"Sirius, _none _of your women were smart choices."

"I like how you call them _my_ women," Sirius teased. "It makes me sounds superior."

"No, it just makes you sound like a player," Lily rephrased teasingly. "Besides the women you've been with don't make you look superior."

"Hey, what about Georgette?"

"You mean the skinny blonde hoe, who was probably a size…_negative _ten?"

"Wow…she was hott."

Lily rolled her eyes at him. "Will you ever date a girl because you like _her _and not her looks?"

"Hey! I've dated Savannah. She may be beautiful, but she is an awesome woman."

"Okay, okay, I'll give you Savannah. But she's the _only _one."

"What about Rebecca? I thought you liked her."

"I did for a while…until she started _living _here! It isn't exactly…_fun _to wake up and see a half-naked girl sitting in my kitchen eating pancakes."

"Hey, you've got her all wrong!" Sirius said. "Sometimes she ate waffles." That made Lily burst into laughter.

"Okay, we got a little side-tracked. Where did you stop this afternoon?" Lily asked.

"Huh? Oh!" Sirius cried, forgetting about James. "Well…I have a surprise for you," Sirius said with an evil grin.

"Uh-oh. No, I don't want it. The last surprise you brought home was a dog and you ended up having to bring it back to the pound because it chewed up my living room."

Sirius laughed. "It's not a dog."

"No cats either."

"It's not a cat, Lily!"

"No gerbils, rats, owls, rabbits, mice, snakes, frogs, snails, birds, guinea pigs, _pigs_, chickens, elephants-"

Sirius laughed hysterically. "You actually think I'd bring an _elephant _into the house?"

Lily gave him a look. "Sirius…Minnie and Daniel had your _own _wedding cake made _especially _for you at their wedding. I would _not_ be surprised if you had an elephant sitting in the driveway right now."

Sirius laughed. "Well…how about a giraffe?"

_"No!_" Lily said, laughing.

"Damn, the zoo won't be happy to take it back," he said turning around.

"You're kidding me," Lily said unbelievably.

"Of _course _I am! It's actually a gorilla."

"So is it your brother, your mother, or your father?" That made them both laugh. Talking bad about Sirius' family was a daily occurrence.

"Okay, moving on," Sirius said. "I'm _sure _you'll love this surprise."

"I better or else I'm throwing you out with whatever it is. What is it?" Lily said eagerly while laughing.

Immediately a head popped into the dining room with a grin on its face.

"_JAMES_!" Lily cried dropping the mail on the table, letting some of it slip to the floor, as she ran to the man she loved to death, always and forever. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as she pressed her cheek against his cheek. A second later, they were engrossed in a long, but passionate, kiss that they had both waited too long for—four months to be exact.

"_God_, I've missed you," James said breathlessly once they pulled out of the kiss and the hug.

"I wish I could see you more."

"Yeah, so do I. But I can't apparate on school grounds, and I don't have the time to hop on my broomstick like I did in the previous years," James said sympathetically.

"I know it's not your fault. It just sucks, that all."

"Hey, think about this, though: I only have three more months left of school and I'm all yours for the summer!"

"The next three months will be annoying as hell though. We'll be so busy that we won't even be able to _write _to each other much anymore. Besides, you being here would make everything a whole lot better," Lily said, suddenly remembering her dilemma.

"Did you get any more job applications today?" Sirius suddenly piped in.

Lily sighed and shook her head. "No, because no one is _open _on a Sunday afternoon _or _a holiday! So today just sucks!" she said with frustration.

"You'll be fine," James soothed, stroking her hair. "Let's not worry about it for now. Let's just go celebrate me being home."

"_Celebrate? _Why is _that_ something to celebrate?" Sirius asked, shrugging.

James made a face. "Oh, shut it."

Sirius just laughed.

* * *

"Savannah!" Lily squealed as soon as she saw Savannah step off the plane, the next afternoon. She didn't care that tons of people were staring her way wondering why she was shrieking. Obviously, Savannah didn't either, since she suddenly screamed out Lily's name and ran directly into her arms for a huge, satisfying hug.

"Okay, tell me everything that has happened since the last time I saw you," Lily said.

"Everything? Hmm…that may take a while," she said, and they both laughed. "But, hey, I was finally able to stick with a _good _agent and when I go back to Montreal in two weeks I'm touring Canada with the Silver Snitches for the months of June, July and August!"

"Oooooh, that is so exciting! I'm so proud of you, hon!" Lily squealed, giving her another hug.

"What about you? What's up with your internship at the _Daily Prophet_?"

Lily sighed. "Not as great as I was hoping it would be."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

Lily sighed again. "Well, I need to get a job so I can keep on paying for the internship but the only job I can get right now to _put_ money forth towards my internship is supposed to be with a newspaper or a magazine or in publishing or in any kind of journalism. So I sent in a bunch of applications in the beginning of January, to a bunch of places, like Random House for Wizardry, and the _London Ledger_, and the Queen Elizabeth Inc., etc., but I've only gotten back _five _letters in _four _months out of about a thousand places. And to top it all off, they were all rejections! And I'm trying to get more applications for more jobs now but no one ever seems to be open! I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't keep this internship! I have to be able to uphold it another year, or I can't get my journalism degree _or _my _Daily Prophet _editor rights. Which means that I won't be able to become the journalist I've always wanted to become working for the _Daily Prophet_. Have I told you that life sucks, yet? Because if I haven't, life sucks."

Savannah gave Lily a pitying and sympathetic puppy-dog look and squeezed her elbow. "Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be fine. You still have a hundred letters awaiting you."

"Hey, now that I think about it, I never actually fully checked my mail yesterday. James kind of surprised me with a visit, considering I didn't know he was back, and I never had a chance to look at the mail again considering I was out pretty late last night."

Savannah laughed. "See? Don't worry about it, Lily. I'm telling you, everything's going to work out just fine."

"I hope so. Because everyone else in this stupid world seems to be getting along just fine…except for me. And maybe Peter, but no one is exactly sure what he does considering he's always on business and he never tells us where he's going or what he's doing or why he's doing it."

"Lily, I know this is a crazy idea, but have you ever thought about asking your _sister_ for some money?" Savannah asked.

Lily laughed. "Please, I tried that when I was trying to find an apartment and she laughed in my face. She won't even give me some of her inheritance money from our parents. And unfortunately, when my parents died _she_ sold the house through_ her_ Real Estate Company, and only gave me a _third _of it. From then on I decided that I would _never _speak to her again." Lily's parents died when she was eighteen, and unfortunately Petunia sold the house which put Lily basically on the streets, with tons of money inherited from her parents and the third of the money from the sold house. Unfortunately, it basically all went towards the non-expensive, small but cute and cozy home and her internship. Luckily, Sirius agreed to move in with her when she asked him and he paid for half of the rent. Unfortunately, her money is running out because she hasn't been able to find a job to pay for her internship, though she did work as a waitress at a local bar every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday night which was the money that helped pay for the rent and the bills. It wasn't a lot of money but when she saved it all up each month it was enough.

"I figured it was going to be a crazy idea," Savannah said, sighing.

* * *

Lily walked through the front door, yelling out, "Sirius? Are you here?"

"I'm in the kitchen!" a deep voice cried out.

Lily laughed. "Where else?" she muttered. "_Savannah__'s here!_"

Immediately, Sirius ran into the living room and into the entranceway. "VANNIE!" he cried with her special nickname that only _he _called her and no one knew why, running towards her to give her a huge hug.

"SI-SI!" she cried back using _his _special nickname that no one understood, running into his arms. Sirius swung her around and put her down while still keeping a good grip on her. They eventually let go, after Lily rolled her eyes at them. They were always together at Hogwarts—inseparable, actually. They dated five times in their Hogwarts years, once for a month, once for two weeks, once for a month and a week, once for three months and their last relationship, in their seventh year, lasted seven months! Unfortunately, they went their separate ways after graduation and decided not to hold onto a long-term relationship and broke it off to become friends. Ever since then, they haven't dated at all. They have a weird bond. The first four break-ups ended in complete failure, anger and frustration with them yelling at each other that they never want to speak to each other again. About a week later they ended up talking to each other again and about a week after that, they ended up best friends again. Unfortunately for Savannah, Sirius always seemed to hurt her unintentionally. Savannah has always been afraid of falling for him again, but because Sirius has a certain charm it always seems to bring them back together.

"_God_, it's been so long," Sirius said breathlessly.

"_Too _long, Si," Savannah said, grinning. "How many months? Eight?"

"Yeah," Sirius said with a sympathetic look on his face.

"That is never allowed to happen again," she said, laughing.

"Right on, sister!" Sirius said grinning. He gave her another quick huge before Lily interrupted.

"Sorry to interrupt your hug-fest here, but can we please let Lily join in?" Lily said with a grin. They all laughed. "I don't get to see much of Savannah either!"

"Yeah, but you saw her on Valentine's Day last!" Sirius accused, and they all laughed again.

"Okay, I'm just going to drop my stuff off in the guest room. Thanks for letting me stay here for the next two weeks, guys," Savannah said with a wink.

Sirius gaped at her. "Did I agree to this?"

Savannah smacked him, laughing lightheartedly. "Well, do you have a _problem _with that?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, flashing her a smile. "Not if you stay in my bed," he teased, winking at her.

"I'll go sleep outside," Savannah responded immediately, winking at him playfully.

"Oh, Miss Vannie, you wound me," he said, placing his hand over his heart overdramatically.

"Yeah...I'm going to interrupt now and say, the cot in my room is perfectly comortable," Lily chimed in, rolling her eyes at the two. She picked up the mail that was on the floor as Savannah walked up the mini-stairs up to the bedrooms. Lily started rummaging through the mail, hoping for some good news, as Sirius walked towards the kitchen again. _Bills, bills, magazine, ads, more bills, Random House for Wizardry, more bills, mag-- _Lily thought. _Wait, Random House?_ She immediately tore open the letter and read its contents quickly.

_**April 7, 1981  
**__**Lily M. Evans  
**_**_16 Ripley Blvd.  
__Alphamstone, __England_**

_**Dear Miss Lily Marie Evans,**_

**_I am pleased to inform you that there is_ _a job opening on our publishing court if you are interested. It was a tough choice and after narrowing it down to three top publishers, I decided that you were qualified enough and dedicated enough and after analyzing your work, which I thought was absolutely magnificent, I thought that you would be the best person for this job. Thanks for applying for this job and I hope that you will accept this offer. I hope to hear from you soon._**

_**Sincerely,**_

**_Douglas__ Cowing_**

_**CEO of Random House for Wizardry**_

"OH MY GOD!" Lily cried jumping up and down.

"What, what?" Sirius said with a look of shock and confusion on his face.

"I GOT A JOB OFFER AT RANDOM HOUSE!" Lily cried, jumping towards Sirius where she literally jumped into his arms.

"That's _great_! I'm so proud of you, Lily!" Sirius said, swinging Lily around.

"Whoa, what's happening down here?" Savannah asked, completely confused.

"I got a job at Random House!" Lily cried, running towards Savannah who squealed and gave Lily a huge, and smothering, hug.

"Lily, that's excellent! I _told_ you not to worry!" she cried. "I knew everything was going to work out!"

"I have to go tell James!" she cried.

"Tell me what?" a voice said from the fireplace. They all turned to it and there stood James' floating head in their fireplace.

"James, I got a job at Random House! I don't have to give up my internship!" she cried excitedly.

In a millisecond, there stood James in their living room wrapping his arms around Lily and giving her a loving kiss. "I knew you'd make it! I'm so happy for you! Come on, let's go celebrate!" James cried, pulling Lily's arm towards the front door.

"A-A-_hem_!" Savannah said with her arms crossed.

James turned her way. "Savannah! Hey, sweetie!" he said, going over to her and giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You made it!"

"Oh, really? And all this time I thought I was still on the plane," she teased.

"Well, it certainly would be better if you _were _there," Sirius joked, winking playfully at his ex-girlfriend.

"Fine, I'll leave, Si-Si. _Just _for you," Savannah said with a grin on her face.

"It's good to know you still listen to my input."

Savannah rolled her eyes. "I'm probably the only one."

Sirius shrugged. "Well, yeah." He laughed and turned to James. "James, aren't you supposed to be at the Ministry Offices working with Sir Sephilia?" Sirius asked.

James cringed. He hadn't told Lily yet because he didn't want to make a big deal out of it. "I told him I'd be there at six in the evening and it's only five."

Lily stared at James in amazement. "_Sir Sephilia_? As in, the _Head Auror_?" Lily asked.

"Um…yeah," he said uncomfortably.

"Why didn't you _tell _me?" she asked, a little hurt.

"I…I didn't want to make a big deal out of it just in case I don't get the job at his London Offices."

"You could have at least _told_ me," Lily accused.

"I know, and I know I should have, but I'm so nervous that I'm going to screw something up and I didn't want to get _both _of our hopes up so that in the end _they _both are suffered."

"Yes, but I expect this to be something important in your life and it would be nice if I knew about it, honey," Lily explained.

"You're right. That's stupidity on my part," he said with a goofy grin. "But today is _not _about me! It's about you!"

"It could be about you too," Lily explained.

"Nah uh, this is sooo _your _day!" James exclaimed.

"But you have exciting news too!" Lily pointed out.

"You know what? Why don't we compromise and make this day about _Sirius_!" Sirius said, and they all laughed.

Savannah smacked him rolling her eyes. "Oh, honey. You're not special."

Sirius pouted. "I feel unloved."

"Oh honey. You are."

Another round of laughter filled the room.

* * *

A week later, on Tuesday morning, a knock at the door of Lily and Sirius' house came.

"Hold on James!" Sirius cried, running to the door as fast as he could.

"Why is James here so early in the morning?" Lily asked groggily, still sipping her coffee and reading the _Daily Prophet_.

"We're meeting Remus at the train station in half an hour," he explained as he opened the door to let James in.

"Hey, sweetie," James said going over to Lily and kissing her on the cheek.

"Oh, I see how it is. No 'Hey, sweetie' for Sirius," Sirius joked, faking a sniffle and pretending to be crying.

"Do you really want me to kiss you on the cheek?" James asked.

"It would just be nice if you showed some affection towards me once and a while," Sirius said in a girly voice teasingly, causing them all to laugh.

"Are you coming with us, Lily?" James asked, grabbing a chocolate donut on the table.

"I can't. I'm meeting Mr. Cowing to talk about the Random House for Wizardry job," Lily explained.

"Okay, good luck," James said.

She stood up and started heading for the stairs, but James grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a warm, soft morning kiss.

"Oh, get a room," Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Sounds okay with me!" James said, and they all laughed.

"Hey, James did Sir Sephilia ever call you back or write you or whatnot?" Lily asked James.

He shook his head. "Nope, but he told me not to expect anything for another week or _two_."

"I'm sure it's going to be good news," she said, winking at him, as she started to trudge up the stairs to go take a quick shower. "Don't get into any trouble today! I love you, James!"

"What? I don't get an 'I love you?'" Sirius asked.

"I love you, too, Sirius," Lily said, laughing. "And _don't get into trouble!_"

"Me? I would never do a thing!" Sirius cried.

Lily popped her head down from the stairway. "May I remind you of the time you made _three _stewardesses quit at London Airlines asking them too many questions about how those…how'd you phrase it 'those huge flying thingys with propellers that make too much damn noise and take up too much damn space' worked?"

"You may remind me, but I may laugh!" Sirius cried up the stairs, bursting into laughter. "Oh, look, I just did."

"I have finally decided that I am scared that you two live in the same house," James said, and all three of them laughed. "I swear I won't be surprised if I find one of you dead in the next two weeks."

"And I swear to it that it will be Sirius," Lily cried laughing, as she trampled up the stairs once again.

* * *

"Thank you for meeting me here today, Miss Evans," Mr. Cowing said.

"Oh, no, it's my pleasure," Lily said grinning.

"We don't exactly have a journalist job opening at the moment, but there is a young woman retiring at her publishing job at the Random House for Wizardry in Los Angeles, California in America that I would love to offer you at the moment," he continued. "I took-"

"Wait, in California?" Lily asked, surprised.

"Yes, it's the best Random House for Wizardry in the world and I know it will suit your standards."

"But…I'd have to move to California?"

"Yes, that's a slight disadvantage but I took the liberty of calling up Ginger Hutchinson at the _Daily Prophet_, your intern manager, and she and I have both agreed that you could still finish up your internship at the _Daily Prophet _headquarters in San Diego. Your plane ticket is already paid for and everything is settled for you in Los Angeles. Your flight leaves late Monday night of May 24 if you will accept this job. This is a huge opportunity for you, Miss Evans and I hope you know that. I hope nothing stands in your way of accepting this."

_Move to _America? _But everyone and everything I know is in __England... _Lily thought in shock, but she hesitated to think about the positives. _Yes, but your future is in __Los Angeles__. Los Angeles is where you belong, Lily! This is huge! This is what you've always wanted! You can't let anything stand in your way! _She suddenly knew what she had to do. She knew that it would be hard telling everyone, but this was her future she was talking about. _California__, here I come!_

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, one chapter down, only…well, _a lot _more to go. But it will all be worth it! It would all be even _more _worth it if you reviewed.


	2. A Birthday Disappointment

**A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!  I told you this would be a quick update, and I was right!!  The first chapter just gave you the basics of everyone's life and job and home etc. etc.  This chapter is mostly about James' birthday with a few surprises, and trust me the story gets a lot better than it is now J  So review and keep reading!!**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.   Anything that's _not mine is J.K. Rowling's (which is most of it J), and everything else is mine.  _**

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER** 2: A Birthday Disappointment******

Written by Foxy  

"He said it was the best broom there is for flying and I know he wants it.  He just refuses to ask for it," Lily commented as she and Savannah were staring at the _Z-4 Rollerball in the window of the broom shop later that day._

            "Lily, it costs _way too much!  How are you going to pay for it?" Savannah asked._

            "I _do have money, Savannah, and I'm getting a job soon.  It's all going to work out."_

            Savannah rolled her eyes with a grin.  "You love him that much to spend your savings on him?"

            "No…I love him more," Lily said.  She just wanted to make him happy so that telling him she had to move halfway across the country would be easier.  She started fishing for excuses.  "It's the first birthday we've celebrated as a couple _ever and I just want to make him happy."_

            "It can't be the first birthday."

            "It's true.  It always seems that whenever we're broken up it's always around his birthday…or Halloween, for some reason.  And we've been going out for officially a year, our longest relationship come June 1.  It was our first anniversary and hopefully our last," Lily said, smiling, remembering last year. 

**~ ~ ~ ~ F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            Lily was alone on June 1 of 1980 (a year before now) trying to forget their anniversary considering they weren't going out at the time and she figured they wouldn't ever date again since she hadn't spoken to him since a year beforehand at Remus' family's reunion barbecue, to which Remus' friends were all invited to.  

Lily was humming to herself, while vacuuming the living room, happy that it was finally Saturday and she could forget about the internship for a while.  The internship was so much fun and she was learning a lot about writing and publishing she ever thought was possible, but it was always fun to have a weekend to herself.  Especially this weekend, which brought her thinking about how glad she was that Sirius had a teacher's convention in Vienna, Austria this specific weekend.  She was keeping herself busy, mainly because she didn't want to remember that six years earlier to that date was when James and Lily realized they were meant to be.  Snape pushed Lily into the lake and James went in after her, although they still despised each other at the time. They both got out, water dripping to the ground and that's when they realized that they never hated each other but that they've always had feeling for each other.  He asked her out right then and there, and she said yes.  Very romantic…and quite wet, as well.  She frowned at the thought, suddenly remembering that they weren't dating anymore and they probably weren't going to be dating again.

            She wasn't sure of her feelings towards James anymore.  If he wasn't being sweet, then he was being stupid and she often found herself yelling at him for doing dumb things.  She sighed at herself for about the hundredth time that day.  She hasn't seen him since last July, and even though they weren't dating, they didn't exactly _hate each other and it would have been nice to see him occasionally.    She sighed again, and tried to get her mind off of him for a while.  She kept dusting and vacuuming, until she heard a knock at the door.  She turned off the vacuum, and went to the door and opened it.  _

            Her mouth dropped open when she saw who was there.  "J-James!" she gasped.

            "Hey, Lily," was all he said.

            "Wh-what are you doing here?" she asked, still extremely confused.  She would have thought he'd be _anywhere but there at the moment.   _

            He kind of looked at the ground for a second.  "Actually…I'm not quite sure."

            "Oh…well, Sirius isn't here," she said, saying the only thing that really came to mind.

            James gave Lily a look-over for a split second and hesitated before talking.  "Um…I know.  I…I didn't come here for him."

            "You just said you didn't know why you were here."

            "Well, I do _and I don't."_

            "Then why don't you tell me what you _do know?" Lily asked, getting frustrated.  She wasn't exactly thrilled that James was standing on her front stoop on their ex-anniversary and he wanted to talk to her.  Any other day and she __might have considered giving him a welcoming smile or whatnot, but this just felt awkward._

            "Well…" James said breathlessly.  He pulled out his hand behind his back and brought forth a huge bouquet of yellow roses—Lily's favorite.  "Um…Happy Anniversary?" he said, looking as if he wasn't sure why he just did that.  

            Lily gasped.  "Th-thanks, James," she said, now _completely puzzled, taking the roses and smelling them.  She held them in her hand using them as an excuse not to say anything.  She eventually looked over the roses to where James was standing.  "I didn't get you anything."_

"I didn't expect you to.  Actually…I'm not sure why I got them in the first place."

            Lily looked up at James with hesitation in her eyes, but she said what she wanted to say anywise.  "James, I don't mean for this to sound rude, but why are you doing this?  I mean, I haven't seen you for almost a year now and we've been perfectly happy with our living arrangements since then and I know that I haven't exactly thought about you much lately, and here I am standing across from you with yellow roses in my hand that _you gave me for our Anniversary that happened __five years ago.  I don't know about you, but I'm just a little confused."_

            James looked at her for a second, before realizing what he really came for.  "Lily, do you want to know the real reason why I'm standing here across from you?"

            "Yes, that would be nice."

            "I'm here for this," he answered, pulling her in for one of his special, sweet, mysterious, soft, gentle, loving, daring, unique kisses that she hasn't felt for about a year and a half now.  And you know what?  She melted right into it and realized that her and James were always meant to be.

**~ ~ ~ ~ E N D   O F    F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

**            And they've been together ever since, and neither one of them regretted any second of it.  **

            "It's the perfect gift, Savannah," Lily repeated.

            "You know he'll love anything you get him, right?"

            "Yes, but he'll love this even more."

            Savannah smiled gently.  "You know he has the best girlfriend ever, right?"

            "No…I just have the best _boyfriend ever."_

*~*~*~*~*

            "I just need to stop in and talk to Lily for a few minutes," Sirius said.

            "Why?  You see her everyday," James commented.

            "No, I haven't seen her since yesterday morning because I spent the night with Remus yesterday and today we went to Diagon Alley for some…fun," Sirius said mysteriously.

            "Fine, whatever.  If we don't hurry though, we're going to be late to the movie," James pointed out.

            Sirius walked into his cottage, and flickered on the lights.

            "SURPRISE!!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMES!!!" everyone cried.

            James practically jumped out of his skins.  "Holy _shit!" he screamed.  Everyone in the room laughed.  _

            "Hey, sweetie," Lily said, coming up behind him and giving him a kiss.

            "I can't believe it.  I didn't think you actually _knew my birthday!" he said._

            "I know what you mean," she said, remembering her conversation with Savannah the day before.  

            "Who put it all together?" he asked.

            "Sirius and I planned it, but Savannah, Peter, and Remus helped with everything today," she replied.

            "Aww, thank you!  I've never had a surprise birthday before," he said, giving Lily another kiss and giving Sirius a hug.

            "Thank God you kissed her and you hugged me," he muttered, and all three of them laughed.

            "It seems like a Hogwarts reunion in here!" James cried.

            "Hey, James!!!" Eden Gauche said, giggling.  "It's been too long.  We simply _must hang out next time I'm in London," she said with her rich, snobby voice. _

            "Yes, that would be simply marvelous," James replied mocking her, which Eden didn't get at all.  She left with a swift wave of her wrist and all three of them laughed.  "I swear if you tell me Snape is here, I might have to kill you guys."

            "Um…could you possibly kill Lily first so I have time to run?" Sirius joked.

            "Excuse me!  He loves _me!  You're just his __friend," Lily teased._

            Sirius turned towards James.  "Your _friend?  Is that all I am to you, James?  Is this true?" Sirius asked, clutching his heart.  "Please, it can't be!  I'm too young to die!"_

            "You're also too stupid for us to love you," Lily said jokingly.

            "Tell me again…why do I live here?" he asked, and all three of them laughed.

            "Happy birthday James," Remus said as he and Peter made their way over to them.

            "Thanks," he said.  He was about to say something else, but someone else came up behind him and tapped on his shoulder.

            "Happy birthday, man," Foster Jenkins said.  "I heard you were going into the Auror business.  Is it true?"

            "Well, I'm majoring to be an Auror at London University for Dark Art Magic and I have a pretty good shot at hopefully finding an Auror job soon, but nothing's definite yet."

            "That's awesome.  I always knew you'd become an Auror," he said, walking off to mingle with everyone else in the room.

*~*~*~*~*

"Okay, and one last birthday song from the birthday man and his band itself!" Lily said into the microphone.  She was glad that the living room was enough space for the Marauders to play and for everyone else to dance after she cleared everything out.

            (A/N: Yes, the Marauders have a band...somewhat.  If I want them to have a band, then they'll _have a band J  Actually, it just makes the next part a little more emotional than it already is….)_

            With Remus jamming on the drums, Peter playing on the acoustic guitar, James playing a bass guitar with back-up singing usually, and Sirius playing a bass quitar and singing, and occasionally they have Savannah singing for them, they were actually _very excellent and have had gigs here and there to which they've gathered tons of money to pay for plenty of things that they've needed to pay for, including school, rent, and bills and of course the occasional spending money!!  Now, doesn't that sounds fun!? _

            "The next song, I wrote inspired from my beautiful girlfriend, Lily Evans.  In fact, she inspires me everyday, and I just wanted to write a song to show how much she means to me.  So this next song, is brand new but I hope you all enjoy, and I'm sorry if it's too slow for your tastes and too mushy, but that's what love is," he said laughing.  Everyone in the room laughed or groaned.  "I also want to thank Savannah Turner for singing with us tonight.  Let's give her a big round of applause!"  Everyone in the room started cheering, clapping, whistling, and hooting for her.  "So, here it goes, 'End of Time.'  Lily, I love you, babe, and I hope you'll never forget it," he said winking at Lily.  "A 1…a 2…a 1 2 3 **_4!!"   _**

_"Waking at the crack of dawn," James sang this time._

"_I know you'll always love me_

_Just staring down at the incoming sunrise_

_I realize that I'm lucky"_

Together, him and Sirius harmonized, "_You're my girl, let's always keep it that way_

_We're perfect, and that's the way it should stay_

_Hold me forever, we'll be together_

_Until the end of time"_

Savannah started singing, "_Still awake at __midnight___

_We'll never be apart_

_Just staring at the beautiful, shining stars_

You'll always be in my heart" 

Savannah, James, and Sirius all sang a harmonized trio, "_You're my girl, I will love you 'til I die_

_We're perfect, up until we say good-bye_

_Kiss me forever, we'll be together_

_Until the end of time"_

They continued on with their harmonization, "_You're my girl, and we'll always make it through_

_We're perfect, through no matter what we do_

_Love me forever, we'll be together_

_Until the end of time"_

_The world seems so small, when we're in love _

_You are the one I'm always thinking of_

_With you in my heart, nothing can go wrong_

_With you in my arms, our love will stay strong_

"_Hold me forever," Sirius sang._

"_Kiss me forever," Savannah sang._

"_Love me forever," James sang, staring right at Lily._

Together, they finished the short, but sweet song, "_Until the end of time."_

Everyone in the room was yelling and cheering them on and congratulating them on doing such an _excellent job as Lily stood in the back with the tears springing to her face.  That was one of the most romantic things he's ever done to her and here she was feeling guilty that she hadn't told him yet about her big move yet.  She sighed, knowing there was never going to be a right time for it.  She knew she had to get it over with.  And she wanted to tell __him first so the longer she waited, the longer everyone else would find out._

*~*~*~*~*

            "Thanks for coming, Marissa.  Bye Zach.  Bye Henry," Lily said, holding the door open for the few remaining guests who were finally leaving.  "Bye Gessica!  Talk to you later, Mandarin."  She closed the door.  "Whew!  Finally, some peace and quiet."

            "Nope, with me around, there's _never peace and quiet," Sirius said._

            Lily laughed.  "Okay, that's it.  Get out!" she cried, and they both laughed.  

            "Yeah, do us all a favor, and listen to her," Savannah said, who was helping Remus put back the couch. 

            They all laughed.  Remaining in their house was Lily, Sirius, Remus, Savannah, James, and Peter and they all helped put back the furniture and helped clean up the huge mess left in Sirius' and Lily's cottage. 

            "I know I already thanked you all like a thousand times, but thanks again, guys," James said, with his arm around Lily's waist in the entranceway after everything was cleaned up, the trash was taken out, the room was back together, and they were all sitting back, or standing up, admiring their hard work for the past hour.

             "It was fun.  I'm glad we could have a party here," Lily said smiling up at him.

            "I'm also glad I played today.  I haven't picked up my guitar in _so long!" he cried, and they all grinned up at him._

            "Yeah, and you did _so terribly today for not playing in a while," Sirius said sarcastically.  They all laughed again, and Lily and James plopped on to the couch next to Sirius._

            "You have to open our gifts now, James!" Savannah said energetically from sitting on the ground.   

_            "Whoa, if you stop being so hyper, then maybe I'll open the gifts!" James said, laughing._

            "If I didn't stop, would you not open your gifts?" she said laughing.

            "No, I definitely still would," James replied, and they all laughed.

*~*~*~*~*

            He opened Savannah's gift which was a book, _The Art of Aurorism and Dark Arts, and Remus' and Peter's gift which was a Zonko's gift certificate and a 50-pack of Filibusters and Dung Bombs, and Sirius' gift, __1,000 Ways to Annoy Your Girlfriend Using Charms._

            "How about _I take this?" Lily said, trying to grab it away from him._

            "No way, this could be useful!" James said, and Lily had to laugh, as did everyone else. 

            "Here," Lily said handing him a huge package.

            He look interested, and started to unwrap it.  He took of the top of the huge box and instantly gasped.  "Oh, my God, Lily!"

            "I knew you'd like it," Lily said with a huge grin on her face.

            "I-I do love it…but it must have cost a _fortune!" James said with a confused look on his face._

            "It was worth it," Lily said smiling.

            "What is it?" Sirius asked, interested in what must have cost her a fortune.  James took the broomstick out of the box, and Remus, Sirius, and Peter gasped as well.

            "Lily, I…I…I don't know what to say," James said.  He didn't want to say it, but even though she was getting a job soon, he knew she spent _way too much for him and as much as he had wanted the broomstick so much, he felt a little guilty.  He __never would have expected __anyone to get it for him and wondered why she did it.  _

            "James, I _know you're thinking I shouldn't have bought it for you, but I'm not broke or anything!  And I know you deserve it and that's all that matters," Lily explained._

            "Thank you so much, Lily," James said breathlessly, turning towards her and giving her a short, but sweet, kiss on the mouth.  Lily kissed him back, still feeling guilty that she hadn't told him yet.  She knew he must be a little suspicious to why she bought it for him. 

*~*~*~*~*

            "I'll see you tomorrow night, right guys?" James said to Remus and Peter.

            "I can't," Peter said.  "I…I have to go back to Scandinavia to resolve some business issues."

            "What about you, Remus?" Sirius asked.  "Movie tomorrow night?"

            "I'm not sure if I have to work yet.  They're still trying to figure out if Igor's cancer is contagious and if it is then I might have to go into the lab."

            "Igor has cancer?  That's so sad!" Sirius said.  "Wait…do I know an Igor?

            They all laughed.  "He was hatched on Friday in Argentina with liver cancer and bladder irritation, so they brought him back to London so he could be with the experienced professionals and I'm helping in the lab," Remus explained.

            "Okay, well, just call us tomorrow," James said.

            "Okay," Remus said.  "Talk to you later!"

            "Hey, James, do you want to take a walk around the block with me?" Lily asked, coming up behind him.

            "A _walk?  Is __that what it's called nowadays?" Sirius muttered, and they all laughed._

            "It's two o'clock in the morning," he pointed out.

            "A _perfect time to go walking!" Sirius cried, laughing._

            "Then why don't _we go for a walk?" Savannah asked Sirius with a grin on her face.  _

            "Now, when you say walk, is that like a James-and-Lily walk, or…just a regular walk?" Sirius wondered.

            "It's a Sirius-and-Savannah walk," she replied with a grin.

            "Is that the same thing as a James-and-Lily walk?"

            "No," Savannah replied.

            "Can we _make it a James-and-Lily walk?" Sirius teased._

"Nope," Savannah replied with a grin.

"You're no fun…but just because you're you, let's go for an S-and-S walk," he said, and they both left.  James and Lily laughed at them as they walked down the stairs and on to the street.

            Lily closed the door to the cottage, and grabbed James' hand to walk in the opposite direction of Sirius and Savannah.  They just walked hand-in-hand in silence for a few minutes, before Lily finally sighed and decided to get it over with.

            "James, I have something really important to tell you," she started.

            "What is it, Lily?  What's wrong?" he asked, genuinely worried.

            "Nothing's wrong…I don't think.  I-I'm not sure.  This is one of the hardest things I've ever really had to tell anyone," she continued.

            "You're not breaking up with me, are you?" James asked, alarmed.

            Lily laughed.  "No……Well…" she trailed off, thinking about the situation.  She didn't want to break up, but what if James wanted to?  She shook away that thought.  "No, I'm not."

            "You're not dying, are you?" he asked.

            Lily laughed again.  "_No, James!"_

            "You're not pregnant, are you!?!?"

            "James!!" she cried, laughing.  "I'm not any of those, so don't worry!  Just let me tell you what I have to tell you!"

            He laughed.  "Okay, okay.  Continue."

            "Well, the good news it that I've got a definite job with Random House for Wizardry," she started.

            "Lily, that's great!" James said, as he stopped walking and gave her a hug.

            "—In America," she ended, as James wrapped his arms around her.

            He immediately pulled away and gave her a look.  "What?" he asked surprised.

            "Yeah, the job is at Random House for Wizardry in California," she explained.

            "But then…then you'd have to move to California?" he asked.

            Lily simply nodded, since she couldn't speak due to the huge lump formed in her throat and the tears already forming in her eyelids.  She thought it would have been a little easier to tell him, but now she's realizing that she won't be able to see him much that much during the year.  

            James wasn't sure of what to say so he started walking ahead of Lily.

            "James, wait," she said, catching up to him.

            James didn't say anything.  He faced forwards, still in shock.

            "James…" Lily said, grabbing his arm.

            "You _can't move to California!!" he cried unexpectedly._

            Lily was taken aback that he said something.  "Wh-what?  Why?  I _have to, James.  I don't __want to, but I have to."_

            "No…you can't," James said, with a shaky voice, blinking away the tears that were starting to form.  He didn't want Lily to see him to cry.  "I won't get to see you, Lily!"

            That's when Lily started to cry.  "I know, James!!  That's the worst about it all, but this is my future!  I can't just give this up for my boyfriend.  I can't let anything stand in my way of my dream, James!"

"But…well, when are you leaving?"

            "May 24.  We still have about a month."

            "No we don't.  Considering I still have school and you still have the internship, we have probably two days to hang out between now and then."

            "What about my birthday?  You said you'd take up that weekend to come down and see me!"

            "Fine, _four days then!"_

            "James, I've wanted this for _years now and this could be my big break!"_

"But, what if it isn't?  What would you do then?"

            "I'd move back to England and start over again."

            "But…why can't you just stay in England and find another job?"

            "James, Random House for Wizardry is the best _publishing company in the world!  There's nothing better than this!"_

            "So are you saying there's nothing better enough so that you get _everything you want?" James said, a bit too crossly._

            Lily started crying more, realizing that he wasn't upset, he was _angry and that it was probably hurting him more than it was hurting her.  "James, I just want you to understand that I love you __so much and I don't want to hurt you, and-"_

            "It's a little too late for that, isn't it, Lily?" James cried angrily. "My girlfriend moving halfway across the country isn't supposed to hurt me?"

            Lily couldn't believe how selfish he was being, but she didn't want to start a fight with him.  "James, this is my ca_reer!  This is what I'm good at!  I can't give that up!"_

            "Not even for me?" James asked selfishly, knowing he was crossing the line.

            "No, not even for you, James!  James, you're going to become a famous Auror and everyone in the magic world is going to look up to you!  If you had to move to America to uphold that reputation, I'd completely understand!  It would completely and utterly _suck, but I know that it was your job and that's it's one of the most important things to you!  I'd totally support you wherever you'd go!"_

            "Yeah, but I'd take you with me, Lily," James pointed out.  "You can't take me with _you because my job's here in England and this is where I belong!"_

            "Yeah, let's just blame this all on the fact that I can't take you with me, James!  Let's blame _me for this because you know __exactly how ecstatic I am to be moving half-way around the world!!" Lily cried, a little too harshly._

            "Hey, don't yell at me!  I'm not the one who's moving to California!"

            "Yeah, but _I'm not the one who's being a selfish __jerk!!!!" Lily cried._

            James turned to look at her with an angry look on his face.  "I don't need this right now, Lily.  It's my birthday and I'd _like to have a happy one.  I guess that was too much to ask for," he said, hitting Lily right where it hurt.  "I'm apparating home.  Tell Sirius thanks for the birthday party," he said crossly.  And two seconds later, he was gone and Lily sat on the curb of the road bawling her eyes out. She was __not expecting it to go that way at all.  She at least thought he'd be a __little supportive._

**A/N: YAY!!  2nd chapter over and done with.  Now…hmm, what could make me happy?  Oh, that's right—_review!!    Watch out for the quick updates, as well! J _**


	3. When You Wish Upon A Star

A/N: Okay, I know that I promised I'd update more frequently, but I've had a lot on my mind lately and I haven't had much time.  My weekdays are mostly spent doing homework and schoolwork, and on Tuesdays, Thursdays, _and Fridays I have field hockey priorities which takes up a lot of my time as well.  The weekends are usually spent sleeping (a lot of that, actually haha) and church priorities.  And Christmas and New Years just passed and I was visiting my family in Minnesota so I couldn't do anything there (although I did have plenty of time! lol.)  Okay, well anyway my point is that from now on, I'm going to try to update this story more and I'm sorry for those who I have kept waiting.  When I say 'update more' I mean at least twice per month (hopefully, but don't take my word for that hahaha)._

Anyway, thanks to those who reviewed the first two chapters: Videl, Lauryn, chrimsonthread, Elspethelf.  

Now all of you out there who didn't review: _pleeeeeeeeeeeeease__ do!  And I promise that the story __will get better!!  _

Disclaimer: Okay, duh, these characters don't belong to me, they belong to J.K. Rowling.  Except for Savannah, Allie Reiner, Josh Matthews, and James' cousins, who belong to me.  Also, the plot belongs to me as well. 

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER** 3: When You Wish Upon A Star******

Written by Foxy  

            "So what do you think they're talking about?" Savannah asked about five minutes down the road.

            "Talking?" Sirius asked.  "Is that what it's called?"  They both laughed and walked for a few seconds in silence.

            Savannah sighed out loud, not realizing it and Sirius noticed.  "What's wrong, Vannie?" he asked.

            Savannah smirked slightly.  "Why do you call me that, Si-Si?"

            "Why do you call me _that?"_

            "I'm not sure.  I think it was…second time we went out?  Or the second break-up, should I say.  I called you my little baby, Si-Si, and you said it sounded like a girl's name, and because I was mad at you…it just stuck.  And after we became friends again…it still stuck."

            "Well, I remember when you found me **_talking__ to Daniella Goodwin, you told me I wasn't even worthy of speaking your name, so I tried sweet-talking you with the name Vannie, and it just…stuck, like you said.  I do remember that you laughed when I came up with it."_**

            Savannah laughed.  "Wow, that seemed so long ago."

            "It was six years ago.  That _is pretty long."_

            "Yeah, it is…but if you think about it, it's not really.  I mean we already lived twenty-three years of it, with seven years of it spent at Hogwarts, which seems like a lot…but it really wasn't."

            Sirius turned to look at 'Vannie.'  "Savannah," he started.  Oooh, it meant _seriousness; he just called her Savannah!!  "It might have been __only seven years to you…but it was the best seven years of my life.  It will never be __only seven years to me; it will be __thee seven years.  Hogwarts is where I have all of my memories.  It was a second home to me.  In fact, it __was my home.  After my mother died, I really had nowhere to go besides James' house, and as much as it felt good to go somewhere where I was wanted, it wasn't…__my home.  It wasn't where I belonged.  And up until my seventh year of Hogwarts, I never really knew where I belonged."_

            Savannah turned towards Sirius.  "Oh, really?  How and when did you realize it?"

            And to Savannah's surprise, Sirius started to blush like mad.  Even in the dark with the streetlights gleaming down, she could tell he was.  "What?  You're bright red!!!  What did I say??" she said, laughing.     

            Sirius turned towards Savannah without laughing.  "Vannie, when I started dating you at the end of our seventh year…I knew I had a chance to fit in somewhere."

            "You mean…_I changed your perspective?" Savannah asked surprised._

            "You didn't change just that, you changed everything about me that year.  I realized that, even though we've had our disagreements, we were meant for each other.  Or…at least that's what I thought for the remaining time of that year.  Graduation happened and we went our separate ways.  I guess I thought wrong…" Sirius said, shaking his head as if he was just realizing that.

            Savannah stopped and grabbed Sirius' arm.  "Si-Si, don't do this to yourself.  You are a wonderful person that at least belongs with me…and I know you belong with James and Lily and Remus and Peter, too!!"

            "It's not that I don't _know I belong with you guys…it's the fact that you're all I have."_

            "And that scares you?"

            "Hell yeah!!  What happens when I become older and I can't depend on you guys anymore?"

            "What are you talking about?  You can _always depend on me!"_

            "How do you know that?"

            "I-I don't, Si-Si, but I don't want to have the thought of not having you around stuck in my head."

            "You were always there for me, Vannie," he sighed.  "I mean, you were **_always__ there for me!  And now I feel that maybe…maybe you're not __always going to be there for me in the future.  I can't just wish for something and have it happen.  Like you said, it scares me.  I…I don't even know how to explain it.  It's a feeling of…"_**

            "Emptiness?" Savannah said, mostly talking to herself, thinking the same exact thing.

            "_Exactly.  I'm happy with my life right now, but there's a part of me that's empty and lonely and…and afraid.  I just don't know if I'm ready to take on the world myself."_

_            "You may not know you're ready…but __I know you're ready.  You were __always ready, Sirius Black, you just never knew it…and maybe you were afraid to admit it."  _

            He smiled at her and looked over at her.  And for some reason, this one time when he looked over at her, she looked different to her.  Every other time he looked at her, it was out of friendship, but now he felt the sudden urge to kiss her.  He tried to shake away the feeling knowing that their friendship was more important then ruining it _again, but it wouldn't go away.  And then he realized that the absolute__ perfect girl has been under his nose the past eleven years and he's never __fully realized it…until now.  He stopped, and grabbed Savannah's arm and turned towards her._

            "What, Sirius?" she asked.

            "Look, it's a shooting star," he said realizing it for the first time.  He knew it was fate.  

            "Oooh, make a wish," Savannah squealed.

            _Don't let me make a fool of myself in about a second, Sirius wished._

            "What did you wish for?" Savannah asked for, not really expecting him to answer.

            He paused and said, "This."  And he gave her a short, gentle, loving kiss.

            He pulled away, and Savannah was completely stunned.  She didn't expect him to do it…but she realized that she liked it.  At first she thought maybe she liked it because she hadn't kissed a guy for so long.  But then she realized that it felt good to be kissing Sirius, and not just any old stranger.  It always felt good to kiss him for some reason.  I mean. There were old boyfriends…and then there was Sirius.   

            "I-I'm not sure why I did that," Sirius stuttered.

            "I'm not sure why you did it either," Savannah said, realizing that sounded insensitive.  "No, I didn't mean it like that.  It's just that…we've tried dating before and it always ended up with me crushed.  I don't want to get hurt again, Si-Si."

            Sirius looked directly into his eyes.  "I _never meant to hurt you, Vannie."_

            "I know you didn't, but you did and I can never shake that feeling off.  I'm just…I'm just afraid that's all."

            "What are you afraid of?"

            Savannah turned towards him and hesitated before answering.  "Admitting that I'm falling in love with you."

            Sirius smiled.  "Don't be," he said, leaning in and giving her another kiss that they both enjoyed this time. 

**_If heartaches and tears_**

**_And shadows of doubt_**

**_Are parts of the deal_**

**_You can count me out_**

**_If you're talking about the game of love I can win_**

**_You can count me in_****__**

****

            When the pulled apart Sirius said, "Hey you realize we just made this a James-and-Lily walk so _I was right."_

            "Except for now it's _also a Savannah-and-Sirius walk," Savannah said softly and then kissed Sirius again._

*~*~*~*~*

            Lily sat on the couch watching some movie on television.  She had no idea what the movie was about, though, considering all she could think about was James. She started to cry thinking about him.  She didn't want to, but she couldn't help it!!  I mean, _she's the one who's leaving!  She's the one who has to make the change!  Why should __he be angry with __her for following her dreams!?  She stopped crying and suddenly became aware that she wasn't __upset at him!  She was __pissed at him!! She didn't want to be mad at him, but she had to be considering he was being so selfish about it the whole thing!_

            The door suddenly opened and in walked Sirius and Savannah with Sirius' arm around Savannah's waist.

            Lily raised her eyebrows.  "And what exactly happened on your walk?" she asked suspiciously.

            "Nothing," Savannah said a little too quickly, with a huge grin on her face.

            "Is that why Sirius' arm is around you?"

            "Uh…yes?" she replied unconvincingly.

            "Okay, spill it," she said.

            "Well…we decided to take our friendship to the next level," Sirius said sophisticatedly.  "We discussed it, and we both realized that we have feelings for each other that sparked out of an interesting conversation of emptiness and where we belong in life." Lily looked from Sirius to Savannah and noticed the cheap smiles and eyebrows raised. 

            "You practiced that speech, didn't you?" Lily asked.

            They all laughed.  "Busted," Savannah said. "Basically, we're back together."

            "How many is that? _Six times?  And, I hate to be the one to mention this but…five ended in failure."_

            "Yeah, but I realized that even though I've been hurt before, isn't is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all?  And isn't it better to forgive and forget than never to have forgiven at all?  And then isn't it better to pick your life back up with someone new?" Savannah asked.

            "I don't think it counts when you pick your life up with the same person you lost and loved and forgave and forgot," Lily pointed out.

            "Eh, who cares?  It's all for the best now!  I'm just going to forget about Hogwarts and start thinking about the future…with Vannie."

            "Awww. How sweet," Lily said, rolling her eyes.  "But I already got the Hallmark card."  They all laughed.

            "I figure, if we have the courage to turn around after our messy break-ups and date again, then so be it," Savannah commented.

            "At least someone's dating," Lily muttered.

            "What do you mean?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

            "Yeah…where's James?" Savannah asked.

            "Who knows…who cares?" Lily mumbled, getting off the couch and turning her back on them to walk into the kitchen.

            "Lily…" Sirius said slowly, walking quickly behind her.

            "What?" Lily asked, without turning around.

            "What happened between you two?"

            "We just had a dumb argument," Lily said, a little too harshly.

            "Dumb?  Is _that why you're so angry?"_

            "So it was a _big argument! A huge, __stupid argument!  And it was __all his fault! And I plan on never speaking to him again, which won't be hard since I'm moving soon!" Lily cried quickly covering her mouth, realizing she had said too much.  "Oops."_

            "Moving?  What?  What are you talking about?" Savannah asked walking into the kitchen when she heard what Lily said.

            Lily sighed.  "Ugh, I didn't want you guys to find out this way."

            "And find out _what?  In what way?" Sirius asked._

            Lily grabbed a Diet Coke from the refrigerator and sat down in the chair at the kitchen table.  "I got a job with Random House for Wizardry and-"

            "That's so great!" Savannah cried.

            "Alright will _anyone let me finish?" Lily asked._

            "Huh? What's so _not great about it?" Sirius asked._

            "At the end of May, I…I, well, I have to move to California…as in America.  The job's _there."_

            "_What?" Sirius said breathlessly._

            "Yeah.  Trust me, it surprised me too," Lily explained.

            "But…you can't move.  Everything is here!  Your friends, your home, your _internship!" Savannah cried._

            "And _me!" Sirius yelled out.  Lily and Savannah rolled their eyes._

            "That would be a reason to move _sooner," Savannah said._

            "Hey!" Sirius said.  "Yeah, okay, it's true."  They all laughed.

            "What about your internship, Lily?" Savannah asked.    

            "There's a _Daily Prophet headquarters in San Diego so I'll still be able to get my journalism degree and__ my __Daily Prophet editor rights there."_

            "Well…wow, this is _huge!" Savannah cried with a smile on her face. _

            "But…but…but…" Sirius stuttered.

            "God, please don't start saying things like this may not be your big break so stay here in England or anything along the lines of 'oh, no I'm more important so stay here,'" Lily muttered.

            "What?  No, I wouldn't say that," Sirius said in shock.  "It's just…it's a huge surprise.  And it sucks.  But this is publishing.  This is what you've always wanted to do, Lily," Sirius continued.  Suddenly his face lit up.  "Lily, this is a huge opportunity for you!  This is going to be so great!  I can't believe it!  I'm so proud of you!" Sirius cried, running over to her and giving her a huge hug.  "This calls for some champagne.  I know I have some hidden somewhere for a special occasion."

            To Sirius and Savannah's amazement, Lily burst into tears. 

            "Okay…skip the champagne," Sirius said slowly with a confused look.

            "No, it's not that.  It's the fact that you guys are so supportive and James was exactly the opposite!" Lily bawled.

            "What?  That's crazy," Savannah cried.

            "Yeah, that's what I thought," Lily remarked, crying harder.  "But he said that because he was here in England and his _job was here in England that I should stay here for him and how I was hurting him.  I just don't get it.  I mean, he's basically saying that he can have the __great job and the money and he can be the best but I have to life a half-life just doing boring desk jobs always wondering what would have happened if I __had taken the Random House for Wizardry job!  He's just being so…__ugh!  He's being so…so self-centered!" Lily cried.  "Whatever, I don't care anymore.  I'm leaving at the end of May and I can forget about him for as long as I want to."_

            "James is just upset, Lily.  He just didn't want to admit that without you, his life is pretty much pointless.  He doesn't want to lose you.  He almost lost you last year and he doesn't want it to happen again," Sirius explained.  "He just took it out on you because you were right there telling him you were moving across the globe.  He'll eventually realize he was being selfish and stupid and he'll come home for your birthday and we'll all be happy, maybe throw you a Going Away Party or whatnot.  Oops, I said too much."  

            That got Lily to laugh.

            "Ha! You're laughing," Savannah said, winking at her.

            Lily turned towards Sirius.  "I just…I just don't like being mad at him.  And I _hate it when he's mad at me!  And I'd apologize, but there's nothing for me to apologize __for.  He was the one that was totally out of line."_

            "Just forget about it now and remember that you are going to be a part of Random House for Wizardry!!  This is a _HUGE opportunity for you, Lils!!" Sirius cried, grabbing her and swinging her around.  Lily couldn't help but get a little excited._

            "Okay, even though it's about three in the morning, let's go celebrate," Savannah cried, grabbing her coat and Lily's, and throwing her coat at her.

            Lily laughed.  "Fine, I give up.  Let's go get drunk."  

            "Yes!  That's the spirit!" Sirius cried, and they all laughed, as they trudged out of the door and out to an all-night bar.  

*~*~*~*~*

            The next night, Sirius knocked on the Potters' front door and Mrs. Potter answered.

            "Why, hello Sirius!" Mrs. Potter cried.  "James is in the den.  And maybe you could possibly cheer him up.  He's been in there _all day sullen and depressed but he won't tell me __or his father why he's like this.  In fact, he hasn't spoken a word all day."_

            Sirius sighed, knowing perfectly well why James was being like this.  He walked through the dining room and into the den.  "Hey, James."  

            "Oh, hey Sirius," James said lethargically, staring at the television and not even look up at Sirius.  James was slumped in the couch with an empty bag of potato chips, a half-empty bag of pretzels, a half-eaten turkey sandwich, three cans of soda, and a half-empty bottle of beer by his side.

            "What are you watching?" Sirius asked.

            "I'm not sure.  I think they're speaking Spanish…or maybe Japanese," James said, obviously not caring.

            "James, this is pathetic," Sirius said, talking about his situation.

            "No it's not.  Can't a twenty-two year old guy just sit at home watching television for a day?" James asked, still not looking up.

            "Not when that twenty-two year old guy has unresolved issues."

            "Hey, that twenty-two year old guy just wants a break."

            "James, I need to talk to you about Lily."

            James was immediately standing up, with the television off, ready to walk out of the room.  "I can't," he said, fishing for excuses.  "I'm going out tonight and I'm not ready yet," he explained, as he walked by Sirius.

            "James, you're going out tonight with _me!" Sirius pointed out._

            "Oh…" James stopped and turned to face Sirius.  "Right."

            "So you obviously know what this is about."

            "Yes, I know _exactly what you're going to say to me, and I don't need to hear it right now," James pointed out. _

            "So…what?  You're just going to sit at home for the rest of your life watching television and pigging out?"

            "No…I'm just going to do that for the next couple of months until I get over her."

            "James, you and I _both know that you're __not going to get over her," Sirius stated.  "So my suggestion is just get __under her!" Sirius was trying to make James smile but it didn't quite work._

            James glared at him.  "Shut up, Sirius."

            "Listen, I think we _both know that you didn't mean any of what you said to Lily, but instead you were just upset that she was leaving.  But it's not the end of the world.  You can still apparate to go see her, and same goes for her.  Yeah, it's true that you can't apparate on school grounds, and usually big companies don't let you apparate there either, but on holidays and during the summer, you'll be able to see each other.  Now, you're my best friend and I'd never want to hurt you in any way—wow, is __this starting to sound mushy or what—but Lily is one my closest friends __and my roommate and I don't like it when __she's hurt also.  I understand that you hate that she's leaving, but I kind-of have to agree with Lily when she said you were being __totally selfish and not thinking about how this must feel for her."_

            "Sirius, I _know I was being selfish.  I was being stupid and self-centered and I should've been supportive and I should've understood that this is a huge opportunity for her and she's finally gotten what she's __always wanted, but I snapped!!!!  I'm standing there thinking about how…how…" James said, choking up.  He tried to push back the tears that were coming, not wanting to have Sirius see him crying, "…how much I'm going to miss her.  I mean…I love her more than words could express and I'm realizing that I'm not going to see much of her at all.  And…and it __sucks, for lack of a better word.  Holidays aren't enough for me!  I want her more than that, Sirius.  I…I just can't handle it anymore."_

            Sirius knew his best friend was on the verge of tears, but he didn't let that stop him from saying anything.  "But you need to; if not for you, for _her.  She needs your support, James.  I think she __knows you love her…she just needs to hear it."_

            James sighed.  "I messed up, didn't I?"

            "Big time, Prongs," Sirius said sympathetically. 

            "I know we missed the movie last night, but could we possibly miss it again?" James asked.  "I-I kinda got to go talk to Lily."

            Sirius laughed.  "We'll catch the movie tomorrow night."

            "We can't, we're going out to dinner with the rest of the group," James explained.

            "Oh…maybe Friday?" Sirius suggested.

            James sighed.  "Can't, I'm meeting up with my cousins, Stephina and Zara and Stephina's husband and we're probably going to dinner maybe something else.  I'm not sure what we're doing.  How about Saturday?"

            Sirius laughed.  "I've got a meeting." 

            "Okay…fine, we'll go in the afternoon sometime!" James said laughing.

            "We're obviously so popular that we're busy!"

            James rolled his eyes with a grin on his face.  "You keep believing that, Sirius, and maybe it will come true."

            "Hey!!!" he cried.  They both laughed.

            "See ya later, Prongs, "James said.  He was about to apparate, when he decided to tell Sirius one other thing. 

            "Are you going to Lily's?" Sirius asked.

            James sighed and took something out of his back pocket and threw it towards Sirius, who barely caught it.  "There's something else…" James said hesitantly.

            Sirius opened the little black box and gaped at what was inside.  "James…this is a ring."

            He sighed.  "I know."

            "Now, I hope you're not proposing to _me, James, because I don't think Lily would approve of that," Sirius said with a laugh._

            James cracked a smile.  "Hardy har har," James said, rolling his eyes.  

            "Were you…are you going to ask Lily to marry you?"

            James sighed.  "I'm not sure," he said.  "I was in Diagon Alley with Peter on Saturday, and while he went to Gringotts, I was in Three Broomsticks and I saw Allie Reiner and Josh Matthews, and-"

            "Seriously?? Wow, I haven't spoken to them since your Christmas Party two years ago," Sirius asked.  "How are they??" 

            "Engaged," James said.

            Sirius gasped.  "No way!  Allie and _Josh??  They __hate each other!!" Allie was an Honorary Marauder in their group, along with Lily and Savannah and another one of their friends, and Allie was a best friend to Savannah and Lily.  Unfortunately, they somewhat lost touch over the last two years, although occasionally they'll send a letter to each other or whatnot.  Josh was a Ravenclaw who annoyed the hell out of Allie, Peter, and Savannah, but who the other four didn't mind and actually became friends with him and Allie and Josh graduated from Hogwarts their year._

            James laughed.  "_Hated.__ Past tense. But I know.  I was surprised when I even saw them __together, but it turns out that Allie's mom and Josh's uncle got married last Spring, so they've seen each other more often, which I guess turned into some kind of romance.  And it lasted."_

            "Wow," Sirius said shaking his head.  "I _never would have guessed."_

            "I'm happy I saw them, though.  I think I convinced Allie to come to dinner with all of us on Thursday night…but don't tell anyone.  I'm not sure if she's coming, yet, and I want it to be a surprise."

            "So, you tell me?"

            James laughed.  "I tell you _everything, Padfoot."  _

            "Awww, that's so touching," Sirius said pretending to choke up.  "I think I'm going to cry now."

            "Cry for your _own sake.  You need it," James said rolling his eyes with a grin on his face._

            "Okay, is it me or did we get from Lily…to crying?"

            "No, it's just you," James teased.

            "Okay, back to your story.  You saw Allie and Josh in Three Broomsticks…"

            "And they told me they were engaged and for some reason, it hit me.  I mean, I've known Lily for about eleven years and I've been _seriously dating her for almost a year now and I love her __so much, more than words can describe, and for a second I stood there and I realized, I wanted to marry her.  And not at any old time.  I wanted to do it as soon as possible.  So after Peter went back home, I went to Gringotts, emptied most of my vault, and headed straight for Darla's Diamonds.  It took me __hours to pick the right ring-"_

            "And you sure _did pick the right one," Sirius said breathlessly staring at the gold-banded ring with a simple diamond-shaped premium cut diamond at the top, with two tiny square diamonds on the side of __that diamond._

            James grinned.  "I hope you'd say that."

            "But when are you giving it to her?" Sirius asked.

            James sighed.  "I…I'm not sure if I am anymore."

            "_What!?!?" Sirius cried.  "__Are you NUTS!?!?"_

            "Well, if we got married, either I'd have to move to California or she'd have to stay here and I don't think either one of us can do that, so I'm just going to wait for the right time.  Maybe in a few years when our lives will begin to change, maybe _then I'll start thinking about giving proposing.  But right now, our lives are too different."_

            Sirius nodded.  "Either I've known you too long, or that all just made sense."

            James laughed.  "It's _both, Sirius.  I've known you for twenty-two years, and I __always make sense."_

            Sirius laughed hysterically but stopped short.  "Oh, you were serious?"

            "No, I've always been James," he answered.  "Okay, okay, it was lame.  I'm going now before I become even _more lame while hanging around __you."  He was about to apparate when he stopped short and turned back to Sirius.  "You know what else?  On our walk, I was about to tell her I got the Auror job working under Sir Sephilia with Alastor Moody, but then she sprung up her job.  That's another reason I was selfish.  Because __I wanted to be happy for her and her new job because I wanted __her to be happy for me even though I know I'd be busy twenty-four/seven."_

            "You got the job??" Sirius cried.

            "Okay, you are _so not helping right now," James said with a grin._

            "Oh, right, right.  Lily, California, selfishness, jobs, blah, blah, yada, yada, I get it, I get it," Sirius said waving his hands in the air.

            James stared at him.  "Yeah, thanks for caring, Padfoot," he said sarcastically with a grin on his face.

            Sirius laughed.  "I do care, but I think _Lily would care even more!!"_

            "I'm going, I'm going!!!" 

            They both laughed as James apparated to Lily and Sirius' cottage and knocked on the door.  Quickly he conjured up a dozen yellow roses for her, and hid them behind his back.

            Lily opened the door with a smile, but when she saw James, she immediately frowned and crossed her arms.  "What are you doing here?" she asked, as if she didn't care he was there.

            "I want to talk to you."

            "Well, I don't want to talk to you," Lily said, turning around, about to slam the door closed, but James caught it with his hand.

            "Lily, wait.  I _need to talk to you."_

            "Listen, James, I'm not exactly in the mood to talk to you right now, okay?"

            "I know, that's what I need to talk to you about."

            Lily groaned.  "Fine, what do you have to say."

            "You mean…you're going to listen to me?"

            "I just said that, didn't I!!" she cried with aggravation.

            "Okay, okay.  Lily, I'm _so sorry for being such a selfish jerk.  I should've supported you, and I __do, I…I was just upset and scared and confused and everything rolled up into one.  I didn't know what to say and I acted completely self-centered.  All I thought about was __me and __not you and that's who I should've been thinking about.  I-I'm just going to miss you so much, Lily, and it hurt too much to know I wouldn't be able to see you much."_

            Tears sprang to Lily's eyes.  "James, it's not that I _want to move halfway across the country, but I __have to.  I __need to.  This is such a huge opportunity for me and this is everything I've always wanted and as much as I love you to death and I always will, I need to do this…for me."_

            James choked up seeing Lily about to cry.  Lily just didn't know that he was about to cry mostly because he knew that he'd basically _never see her with his new job…but he didn't want to mention it then.  "Lily, I-I don't know how to react to this, but I'm trying the best I can."_

            Lily started crying, and James, on instinct, went to put his arm around her.  "Don't cry, Lily…because you're going to get me started and I don't want to cry."

            "I-I can't help it," Lily sobbed.  "I'm just going to miss you and England and Savannah, and Sirius, and Remus, and Peter, and Diagon Alley, and Alphamstone, and this house and…and…and _you," Lily said, crying even harder._

            "Shhhh, Lily, it's okay.  Everything's going to be fine.  I'll miss you so much, but I'm not going to forget you and that's all that matters.  I love you Lily and I hope you never forget it."

            "I love you, too, James," Lily said, giving him a soothing hug.

            He pulled out the yellow roses after breaking away from the _long hug.  "I was going to give you these if things didn't work out between us…but I guess I didn't need them.  You probably don't want them anyway," he teased._

            "No, no, I'll still take them, they're _still my favorite," Lily said, and they both laughed.  _

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, and how many times do I have to say it: **_REVIEW!!  As you can see, I like reading reviews…I like receiving them even more!!  _**

Disclaimer: Also, that song belongs to Deena Carter "Count Me In." 


	4. The Past vs the Present

**A/N**: I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!!  Didya miss me?  …..I'm just going to answer 'yes' for all of you and get that over with!!  (As you can tell, I'm extremely energetic right now!)  Hmm…well I think this chapter is very informative.  It tells you more about their Hogwarts' days, including graduation.  It's a bit depressing…but everything turns out okay.  But when Lily starts to reminisce her past, it becomes a bit more depressing than I expected.  But it's all for a good cause.  And I'm sorry this chapter is a bit short…or at least, I think it is.  

And thank you to Anna Chelle, Laina, and Surely Sagittarian for reviewing!!

**Disclaimer**: Whatever you recognize belongs to the lovely J.K. Rowling who I idolize!! And everything else, including Savannah Turner, Kaitlynne Young, Allie Reiner, Josh Matthews, Minnie Juniper, and Daniel Marx (who are basically just _mentioned_…).

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER4: The Past vs. The Present****

Written by Foxy  

            "AGH!" Savannah cried when someone appeared at her doorway.

            "My movie date was cancelled," Sirius said, grinning with a wink.  "You want to go out and do something?"

            "So, you're dating other people now?" Savannah asked, knowing perfectly well whom he was going to go with.

            "Yes, I admit it.  You weren't satisfying my needs and I snapped and started dating…_guys_!" Sirius cried.  They both laughed.

            "I wasn't satisfying your needs for…a _day_?" Savannah asked.  "So you became…_gay_?"  She hesitated, ready to crack up.  "Well my work in life is done!"

            Sirius laughed.  "Come on, let's go to Diagon Alley or something and just walk around."

            "And flaunt the fact that we're back together?" Savannah asked.

            "Hmm…exactly!" Sirius said, and they both laughed.  "Come on, Vannie sweetheart, you're leaving on Friday, which only leaves us three more days to hang out."

            Savannah sighed, got off her bed, put away her back and grabbed a sweater.  She wasn't really in the mood to be reminded that she'd be going back to Canada in less than a few days.  She was having such a great time, and knowing it was coming to end soon made her frustrated and upset. "Fine, I'm convinced.  Let's go make fools of ourselves in front of our former classmates."

            "YES!!  I win," Sirius said.

            "For the first and _last time," Savannah said. _

            "Not if I can help it," he said grinning, grabbing her hand and apparating them to Diagon Alley. 

            "Three Broomsticks?" Savannah suggested.

            "Fine, but I'm paying."

            "No way," Savannah said.

            "Yes way!"

            Savannah laughed.  "I'm thinking…no."

            "I'm thinking yes."

            "You won the last time, let me win this time."

            "Why don't you want me to pay for you, Vannie?"

            "Because I'm not old-fashioned."

            "Just old," he said.  "Oops!  Did I say that out loud?" he said sarcastically and they both laughed.

            "Yeah, insult me.  That's gonna make me wanna stay," and they laughed again.

            "I was the one who asked _you to come to Diagon Alley with me."_

            "Yeah, _spontaneously."_

            Sirius walked inside with a sigh, knowing that with Savannah as stubborn as ever he'd _never win..  "Rosmerta!  How's it going!?" he asked the young, popular waitress at the bar._

            "Are you _always here?" she asked._

            "No…I wasn't here on Sunday!"

            "Oooh, the thought of you _not being here absolutely blows my mind away," she said, rolling her eyes.  Savannah laughed at the twenty year old woman who seemed _not_ to care about Sirius Black just wiping the countertop.  It was probably the first and last woman not to care, also._

            "You know, I'm starting to like you a lot," Savannah said with a laugh.

            "Who are you?  No, wait, you always come in here with that red-headed girl with the green eyes who always talks about the Auror guy."

            Savannah laughed.  "Yeah, that's me, and that would be Lily Evans in love with James Potter."

            Rosmerta grinned.  "James Potter…wow.  He doesn't come in here as much as I'd like him to."

            Both Savannah and Rosmerta laughed.  "Yep…the wonderfully popular James Potter," Savannah said.

            "A-_hem!  What about the wonderfully popular Sirius Black?" Sirius asked jokingly._

            "Please to God don't be talking about yourself!" Rosmerta said. 

            "What _other Sirius Black's do you know?" he asked._

            "I wish I didn't know _any Sirius Blacks!" she cried._

            Savannah and Rosmerta cracked up as Sirius rolled his eyes.  "Now, what would you do without me?" he asked.

            "Celebrate," she replied, rather quickly.  "Now, are you going to order or do I really have to stand here all day talking to you?"

            "Two butterbeers, _I'm _paying," Sirius said, already whipping out his money.

            "Si-Si!!!  I already told you _not to!"_

            "Oooh, Sirius Black is paying.  Sounds like a date," Rosmerta said.

            "Yeah, a _spontaneous one," Savannah muttered._

            Rosmerta sighed.  "He may be cute, but don't get attached.  He's rather annoying," Rosmerta said to Savannah and they both laughed.

            "Well, at least I know you think I'm cute," Sirius said grinning at Rosmerta.

            "Oh, please.  Don't act surprised," she said.  "You get that from everybody every day."

            Sirius grinned.  "Yeah, I know."

            "Is there such thing as taming a wizard?" Savannah asked, ruffling his hair up and Sirius gave her an annoyed face.  She knew how much he hated it when she did that.

            "Oh, shit," Rosmerta muttered, looking beyond Sirius and Savannah.

            They both looked up at her confused, wondering why she just cursed.  "Huh?" Sirius asked.

            "I know this is hard to believe but there are two wizards even worse than _you _who just happened to walk in here." 

            "There's someone more hated than I?" Sirius said blessfully and jokingly, turning around.  Both he and Savannah groaned.  "Now I know why."

            "Ugh, they hit on me every time they get the chance and they play jokes and they annoy the living hell out of me and I can't stand it anymore!" Rosmerta grumbled, not really caring who she was complaining _to_.

            "That's the only way they even get _near women," Savannah pointed out and groaned as Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy walked towards them._

            "Well, well, well.  Lookee here," Snape sneered.  "It's the loser prankster and his ditsy girlfriend…oh, no wait!  She's _not _your girlfriend because you broke up _five times_."

            Savannah smirked at Snape.  "Is _that _the best you can do?"

            "At least I've had the _chance to break up with someone," Sirius sneered._

             "If you must know, Miss Rosmerta Shannon and I are together now," Snape lied.

            Sirius, Savannah, and Rosmerta all cracked up.  "Yeah, in your dreams," she muttered.  "And _that's _where I'll stay."

            "Besides, she's dating James Potter now, and I don't think after him she'd stoop that low for _you," Sirius lied, turning towards Rosmerta giving her a look to play along.  It took all of Savannah's strength not to laugh.  _

            "James _Potter?" Malfoy snickered.  "Whatever happened to that Mudblood girlfriend of his?"  _

            Savannah held in her anger, gritted her teeth and muttered, "She is _not _a Mudblood, and they…they just went separate ways and if you don't bug off maybe we'll get James Potter back here to kick your ass for the millionth time!"

            "Oh, please.  James Potter couldn't kick my ass if there was a target sign on my ass," Snape muttered.

            "You want to count how many times he already _did_??  But maybe I'll give him a break for once so _I can kick your ass!" Sirius cried._

            "Guys!  Although my…_boyfriend is extremely strong and could beat you two to the ground in a second, I do not want any fuckin' fighting in this restaurant!" Rosmerta cried, ready to laugh._

            "Oooh, watch that language Rosie, or I might have to change my mind about dating you," Snape said.

            "Fine!  Change your _fuckin__' mind because it ain't _ever _going to happen!!"_

            "So get the fuck out of here and leave us the fuck alone," Savannah cursed.

            "Yeah, _that's going to make us leave," Malfoy sneered._

            "Don't you have other people to annoy?" Savannah said harshly.

            "We do, but what fun is that when I haven't annoyed _you_ for the last four years?"

            "Listen, we just came in to get some butterbeer, not to start a fight," Sirius said, putting his arm round Savannah's waist…realizing too late that it was a bad idea. 

            "Oh, my God!  Are you and Virgin Mary back together again?" Malfoy asked, trying to act surprised, while rolling his eyes.

            "Now, who would've thought that _you two would end up dating…oh, wait it's happened _five _times __before," Snape sneered.           _

            "Jealous, are you?" Savannah asked.

            "Of _you two?" Snape cried, bursting into hysterics.  "Never in a __million years!!!"_

            "Twenty galleons says that you two are living on the street with no jobs, money, or _women right now," Rosmerta grumbled to Snape and Malfoy_

            "Twenty galleons says that I'm becoming the _Potions _Master at _Hogwarts _starting in two years," Snape snapped back.

            Savannah and Sirius stared at him in awe, thinking the same exact thing.  _Dumbledore gave him__ a job!? They both thought in disgust.  _

*~*~*~*~*

            For the next three days, Lily hardly saw much of Sirius or Savannah at all, even though Sirius lived with her and Savannah was staying with them.  They were always at Diagon Alley or on some spontaneous visit to Martha's Vineyard in America, or Hong Kong in China, or Paris in France.  Not for very long—just to see the sites and to eat lunch or breakfast or dinner.  In fact, she realized that she hadn't cooked for Sirius in _five days!  Not including James' party in which Sirius helped cook…well, he tried at least.  He blew up the kitchen twice before Lily kicked him out do help rearrange the living room.  No wonder Lily was the cooker in their place._

Considering Savannah and Sirius were much older and sophisticated than they were in Hogwarts, they definitely acted older with their relationship.  At Hogwarts, it was a surprise if you didn't see them pressed against a wall with their tongues down each other's throats or if you didn't see them—actually…h_ear them—screaming at each other in the middle of the Great Hall.  Yeah, __in the Great Hall for everyone to watch __and know that Sirius was found kissing another girl or Sirius wasn't ready for a big commitment or __Sirius (who else?) liked how their friendship was going at the time and didn't want to ruin it or __SIRIUS (catch my drift?) __again wasn't ready for the big commitment they put themselves up to…and then came the hardest moment of their lives.  Graduation.  What were they to do then?_

**~ ~ ~ ~ F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            "--And as your proud and satisfied Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Magic and Ministry, I'd like to present the now graduated class of the year 1977!!  Congratulations to all of you!" Dumbledore's final words were on graduation night before they all threw their hats into the air and started smothering their friends with hugs.

            "We made it, Allie!!!" Savannah cried to one of her best friends, Allie Reiner who was closest to her.  They engaged in a _long hug that they both couldn't let go of._

            "Allie!  Savannah!" a voice cried from behind them, and they turned around and saw Kaitlynne Young, running towards them, giving them both a hug. Kaitlynne was another best friend of Lily's, Savannah's, and Allie's that only Allie has been keeping touch with after graduation.  It seemed as if Kaitlynne disappeared into the world without leaving a trace behind her.

            "Group hug!!!" a voice said from behind them.  They couldn't see who it was, but the voice they all knew it was Daniel Marx, Minnie Juniper's fianceé (yea already; they were completely in love at age eighteen and have been ever since they second year Christmas Eve!!).  Minnie was a good friend of theirs, but was somewhat bossy and acted better than everyone else.  Neither Savannah nor Lily really had the intention of staying friends with her after graduation. 

            "Major orgy is more like it…" another voice said.

            "JOSH!" they all cried in disgust, suddenly dispersing.

            "You're such a jackass," Allie cried angrily, starting to stomp off to go find some of her other friends. 

"At least I'm a jackass with a girlfriend," he cried.

            Allie immediately turned around ready to explode at him, but she calmed down a bit.  "I don't _want a girlfriend, first of all," she cried back staring at him with flames shooting out of her ears.  "Besides, I hardly qualify Hannah Rutherford as a __girlfriend.  More like a one-night stand."_

            "Yeah, well at least I'm _having _a one-night stand.  Tell me, when was the last time _you had a boyfriend?  Or even a _date_??  Hmm…oh, was it the summer before __fifth year with Paulo whats-his-face?"_

            "I swear if we weren't at graduation right now, I'd tear you to pieces."

            "Well, go ahead!  Nothing's stopping you!"

            Allie gritted her teeth together and pled her hands into a fist, not wanting to give in to his badgering.  "Unlike _you, who's a self-centered bastard who really needs to get his head examined, __I'm not going to ruin my graduation talking to _you_."_

            "I think you just did."

            Allie threw her hands into the air.  "Listen, I'd _love _to listen to you from _your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass," she snapped, as Savannah and Kaitlynne both burst into laughter as Allie whipped around and walked into the crowd to find her __friends.   _

            "Tell me again: Why am I supposed to be sad that I'm leaving?" Josh asked to no one in particular, staring at Allie disgustingly and incredulously.  

            "SAVANNAH!" Lily cried, trying to emerge from the crowd towards her.

            "Lily!" Savannah squealed, running towards her and giving her a _huge _hug that they stayed in for a _long _time.  "I figured you'd be with James by now."

            "Nah, I just saw him and we did our graduation celebration."

            "What was that?  Making out for everyone to see?"

            Lily was about to object, but closed her mouth and thought about it.  "Well, yeah, pretty much.  I thought you'd be doing the same with Sirius."

            "I haven't seen him yet," Savannah said with a shrug.

            "You don't seem to care."

            Savannah sighed.  "The truth is, I don't know what's going to happen to us after we both get on the train tomorrow and go back to our separate lives.  He means the world to me…but our lives and our future plans are too different."

            "Don't tell me this, tell him that."

            "I think we both feel the same way…but let's not talk about this now, Lily!!  We're graduating!!  Let's celebrate!!!!!!"

            "**_VANNIE_!!!" a voice cried from the stage.**

            Savannah looked up, along with basically everyone else in the crowd and laughed.  "**_SI-SI_**!!" she cried back, and Sirius literally jumped into the crowd right in front of Savannah, who ran to him.

            "Hey, sweetheart.  Happy graduation," he said with a sweet and, surprisingly, innocent smile.

            Savannah smiled back and leaned in to give him a sweet, satisfying kiss, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

            "I can't believe it's all almost over," Sirius whispered into her ear. 

            "I'm gonna miss everyone," she whispered back giving him a long, passionate, and satisfying kiss.

            "I never want to forget this moment," he whispered into her ear.

            She nodded in agreement and gave him another hug, a longer one.  "Sirius…what's going to happen to us, now?" Savannah asked in a serious manner.

            "I-I don't know," he said with a slight pause, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

            Savannah looked into his deep, sorrowful eyes and knew that as they got older, everything between them would change…including distance.  "I'm afraid to know what our future is going to bring us."

            Sirius nodded knowingly.  He ran his fingers through his jet-black hair full of wonder and confusion.  "Things are going to be different now.  We're not going to see other every day like at Hogwarts.  We're going to be adults now and things are going to change.  You're going off to college in a year, I'm looking for a place to live with Lily while trying to find a job and…after Hogwarts, things get hectic.  They don't get easier.  They get more difficult, which sucks, but that's adult life."

            "Sirius, I care about you so much and I don't want to hurt you, but don't you think the best things for _us right now is just to…just to slow __us down for a bit and let our lives lead us to where we need to be and what we need to do?  Isn't that what's important now?"_

            Sirius smiled at her.  "I think we both need that…as long as we remain friends and _don't _become distant this time."

            Savannah smiled.  "Who would've thought that we'd break up _again?" Savannah said with a smile._

"No, who would've thought that we'd break-up _and stay friends?" he said as they both laughed.  "Vannie, can I just do something before we move on?"_

            "Anything, Si-Si."

            Sirius leaned in closer to her and gave her the kind of kiss you always dreamed about having with a movie star…except that her movie star was Sirius Black.  

            "There you are Sirius!!!!!" a voice cried from behind him, after they pulled away.  Savannah and Sirius turned around, both sighing and grasping the concept that they just broke up.  I think they both knew it was for the best…it just wasn't exactly what they both _wanted_.  

            "Hey, Remus," Sirius said. "Congratulations, man!"

            "You, too!" Remus said, giving Sirius a small hug.

"Yeah, who would've thought that _you'd be graduating?" James said to Sirius from behind Remus. _

            "Hey, Dumbledore made _you Head Boy.  Obviously he was having brain complications this year," Remus commented, and they all laughed.  Behind James were Lily, Allie, Kaitlynne and Peter and next to him (obviously) was Savannah ._

            "Aww, come on.  Let's get the original group into a group hug!!" Sirius cried, smothering Savannah, James and Remus, who grabbed the other four people, and there they all stood: the four original Marauders who successfully completed seven years full of pranks and fun and trouble…and the Map and the Animagi potion, which the girls knew nothing about, and there stood the four Honorary Marauders who successfully completed seven years also full of pranks and fun and trouble…and all-nighters and spying on the guys.

**And as we go on, we remember**

**_All the times we had together_**

And as our lives change, from whatever 

**_We will still be friends forever_****__**

There stood Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Allie Reiner, Savannah Turner, and Kaitlynne Young.  The eight best friends who won the Inseparable Friends Award at Hogwarts that year.  All eight of them stood there realizing that this may be one of the last times they'd all be together and one of the last time they'd be on Hogwarts grounds.  As much as they didn't want to admit it, they'd miss it.  They'd miss it all, but they also all realized that it was the best seven years of their life…and that's what truly matters.

**~ ~ ~ ~ E N D   O F    F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            And from then on, Sirius and Savannah had stayed friends up until now.  And now, they actually acted like a couple saying all the mushy stuff and actually being in a room longer than five minutes without breaking out in a kiss.  They were always smiling at each other and sharing some new secret that they refused to share with everyone else.  Lily found herself rolling her eyes at them more often with a playful grin on her face than staring at them in disgust. 

            Lately, Lily started remembering all of the fun times she's had with all of her friends, mostly everything that's happened at Hogwarts, including graduation.  She just started reliving everything, mostly because she was sad to be leaving her home country where everything she _ever knew was.  On Wednesday night she climbed into bed, after a wonderful evening with James, and after realizing she wasn't tired, she stared thinking about everything he could even begin to remember: all the Yule Balls, and the Quidditch games, and the late-night talks she had with her friends, and Hogsmeade trips which were __always fun with the guys around, and definitely the pranks, and definitely the summers in between school when the eight friends hung out almost every week when they could, and then there was graduation and of course the graduation dance, which she'd never forget; I don't think her _or _Savannah would __ever forget that night. _

Lily had a framed picture on the wall by the stairs of James, Savannah, Sirius, and her, all dressed up, with James' arm around Lily's waist and Lily's arm around his shoulder, and same goes for Savannah and Sirius, and even though they were all smiling, she could remember that just an hour later all four of them were out on a long by the lake, all crying that Hogwarts was over.

            By now, in bed, Lily was soaking her pillow with her tears as she started to think about everything that happened _after graduation.  All of the Fourth of July picnics, the Labor Day picnics, Halloween parties, Thanksgiving feasts, Christmas parties, New Years Parties, Valentine's Days, Easter weekends, __summers, Savannah's birthdays, Remus' birthdays, Sirius' birthday, Allie's nineteenth birthday, James' birthdays, Lily's birthdays, Peter's birthdays.  _

            But mostly she remembered the summer after graduation.  

That summer, all eight of them spent basically every living moment together.  They went on a summer trip to Bermuda for two weeks where they became even closer than they thought was possible.  For the rest of the summer, they did crazy and spontaneous things that Lily would always remember.  They played pranks on basically every waitress they met that summer at every restaurant possible, and they went skinny-dipping in Kaitlynne's neighbors' pool every night they had a chance, and they played pranks on Snape at his house when they had the chance, and they went to the beach, and to Diagon Alley, and to _Knockturn__ Alley, and they went to Canada, America, France, Germany, Australia, Luxembourg, Spain, Greenland, Iceland, Mexico, Austria, Asia, Africa, Japan, China, Jamaica, South America, and anywhere else they decided to go spontaneously.  _

            Unfortunately for all of them, that summer couldn't last forever, and in the fall Kaitlynne disappeared off to Germany, looking into colleges there to which that summer was the last time they had heard from her, not including when Allie told them about her.   

            Savannah left for a cruise to Atlantis with her Aunt Susie and her Aunt Kris. 

            James lived in England for a while after that summer, busy looking into Auror colleges, but in December he eventually headed towards Germany and France, looking for good Auror colleges there. He was avoiding Lily after they broke up again both agreeing it was for the best even though they wouldn't admit it that neither one of them really thought it was _for _the best but instead it was just so they'd stop aching to see each other.  

            Remus and Peter went up to Scandinavia to stay with Peter's Uncle Lou, where they both tried looking into colleges, though neither one of them ended up going to college and just ended up getting jobs that lead them somewhere great and ended up moving in together in a nice apartment about half an hour away by broom. 

            Allie ended up on a plane to Australia with her twenty-one year old sister, Angela, and her twenty-five year old brother, Jesse and his wife, Samantha Vernon and she ended up staying there for about six months living with her brother and his new wife, playing on the Australian Quidditch team, the _Renegade Razors_.  Eventually, she quit the team and she was off touring the world, looking for anywhere for work, although she ended up back in England and became a Charms Major at the Peony College for Witchcraft and Wizardry in southern England.  The last that they had heard from her was at James' Christmas party a year later when she said she wasn't going to college anymore, because it wasn't the right thing for her, and instead was looking for a job somewhere. 

            Sirius and Lily were often together, looking for places to live, and because they both remained in England and they weren't busy looking for colleges, just substantiate jobs, they were often together hanging out.  So technically, they were the only two that truly had the chance to stay in touch all of the time.  Sirius went into the teaching business, and Lily applied for the internship, and after that year, with Lily living with her sister, which was the most disturbing year with her ever, and Sirius still living at the Potters, they moved into their house in Alphamstone just as Sirius got a teaching job at the school and Lily was accepted into the internship program.

              As Lily sat in bed looking up at the ceiling, she had the sudden urge to write to Kaitlynne and see how she was doing considering she hasn't seen her or spoken to her in four years.  Lily got out of bed, looked at the clock, realizing it 3:00 a.m. and walked downstairs in her pajamas.  She sat down at the kitchen table with a brownie and some milk and started writing to Kaitlynne.

_Hey Kaitlynne!!_

_            I know, this is completely out of the blue and I'm probably one of the last persons you expected to get a letter from, but I couldn't sleep and I decided to write to you because I haven't talked to you or seen you in four years.  Actually, I'm moving to __California__ in a month, so I started thinking about all of the memories I've had, and just thinking about you made me curious about how you were doing.  So how are you doing???  Allie told us two years ago at James' Christmas party that you were engaged.  Is that still holding up??_

_            I've been keeping myself busy.  I'm sure Allie told you, but I'm living in Alphamstone with Sirius (odd, isn't it?) and I'm in an internship program at the Daily Prophet, although, like I said, I'm moving to California because I got a job there.  I'm still together with James, if you were wondering, still happy with him, hoping I'll always be happy with him.  The past year has changed us both in good ways and it's going to be hard once I move to __America__, but if we really love each other, this will prove it._

_            Sirius and __Savannah__ are going out now…again and they are cuter than ever.  I just hope that they'll realize they belong to each other and eventually get married. _

_            James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Savannah, and I have been keeping in touch over the years since Hogwarts and although it's not the same as the eight of us, it's good to know that our friendship still lasts._

_            Okay, well there's not much else to say at the moment…actually, there's tons to say but if I wrote down everything I could tell you it would be about a hundred pages and I'm sure you don't want that!! I do have one thing else to say, though.  Tomorrow the six of us are having dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant, Le Soleil __Levant__, in _London___ tomorrow night (Friday night) at __seven o'clock_ for a good-bye celebration to ___Savannah__ who's going back to __Canada__ on Monday morning.  And I know this is kind-of sudden and probably completely unexpected, but I was wondering if you'd like to join us.  It would be great to see you again and I'm sure everyone would love to see you again as well, so just owl me back with some news and an answer!_

_            Love you forever and ever,_

_            Lily Evans         _

She went outside, where Vivian, her acorn-colored owl, sat in her cage.  "Hey, Vivian.  Send this to Kaitlynne, wherever that may be," she said, stroking her owl and giving her the letter.

**A/N: **Okay, so how did you like it?  Well whatever you thought just write it down and send me a review!!!  And I'll love you forever!!  


	5. No, It All Began Here

**_A/N: _Yay!!!!  New chapter!  Sorry it took so long.  I've been extremely busy lately and then my computer broke down and took over a week to fix, which screwed up a lot of things for me, but here it is, up and running!  And here I am, up and posting!  Thanks to all of you who reviewed my story and I hope you enjoy the next chapter!! **

Oh, and by the way in the last chapter, I forgot to say that the song was "Graduation Song (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C.

**Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You know the drill.  Anyone who you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling.  Everything else belongs to me.**

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER** 5: No…It All Started _Here_******

Written by Foxy

            Lily walked back inside watching Vivian fly into the night and heard a creaking sound as the front door opened.  She turned off the kitchen light hastily, and hid behind the kitchen wall, wondering who the hell was trying to break in.

            The person walked in, and unfortunately, it was too dark to tell who it was, but she grabbed an umbrella on the kitchen counter and jumped out.  "Hold it right there!!!!" she yelled.

            "HOLY _SHIT_!!" he cried.

            "Sirius?" Lily said, realizing who it was.  She flicked on the entranceway lights and started laughing.  "Oops."

            Sirius started laughing, as well.  "It's a good thing you didn't have a gun or I might have jumped out of the window."

            "I decided _not _to use the gun today," she replied, and they both laughed.  "Why were out so late?  And where's Savannah?"

             "Uh…" he stuttered.

            "Oh, wait.  Did you and Savannah have sex in a restaurant again?" Lily teased.  Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but Lily cried, "No, wait!!!  I don't want to know the answer to that question!!"

            Sirius laughed and simply said, "Savannah met up with her aunt in Lisbon, and-"

            "You were in Lisbon?"

            Sirius laughed.  "Yes.  She wanted to see her Aunt Susie, so we went to Lisbon and hung out for a while, and she went to her aunt's house as I went to James' at around midnight.  I figured you'd be there but obviously I was wrong."

            "I probably just left."  

            "Yeah, I figured.  What are _you doing up at three in the morning?"_

            "Uh…just sending letters to a few people," she said.  She didn't want to tell him who or he might have thought she had gone insane…even though he probably already thinks she has. J 

            "At three in the morning?"

            She laughed.  "I couldn't sleep!"

            "Ohhh…so, like everyone else, you decided that it was the right time to write letters to a few people."

            "Exactly!  You understand me perfectly."

            "Perfectly? No.  _Strangely, yes."  They both laughed._

            "Are you going up to bed now?" Lily asked him.

            Sirius turned to her.  "I don't know.  I'm not tired at all."

            "Lemme guess.  You and James went to the bar again tonight."

            "Of course we did!  What else would we do?"

            "Not get drunk?"

            "Now what fun is that???"

            Lily rolled her eyes at him.  "You are one funny guy, Sirius…funny-looking, that is." 

            Sirius pouted.  "Hey!"  They both laughed.  Sirius wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator as Lily took a Diet Pepsi and they sat down on the couch laughing and talking about everything.

            "Hey, Lily, why couldn't you sleep?" Sirius asked about fifteen minutes later after talking about the sixth-year Yule Ball where Sirius spiked the punch and everyone, including the professors, got drunk and had an _extremely fun time, with Dumbledore standing off to the side, wondering what the heck was going on._

            Lily must have looked confused because Sirius laughed and said, "Tonight.  You said you couldn't sleep.  Why not?  And please don't say because you and James had sex in his bedroom."

            Lily laughed.  "I already used that one with you and Savannah, you have to pick another joke."

            Sirius laughed.  "Okay, please don't say it's because you were making out with your boyfriend's best friend in the closet in his room," Sirius changed.

            "Sirius, _you're _his best friend."

            "Damnit, nothing's good enough for you!" Sirius joked and they both laughed.  "So are you going to answer the question?"

            Lily sighed, not really wanting to discuss it.  "It was nothing.  I just couldn't sleep."

            "Lily, I've lived with your for three years, and you could sleep through a volcano, tornado, and hurricane all happening at once even after having a nasty break-up with James and after you were sleeping for forty-two hours!!  Don't tell me now you _just couldn't sleep.  I may look dumb, but I'm not as dumb as people think I am…well, I'm not __that dumb at least."_

            Lily cracked a weak smile and tried to forget about the upcoming move to California, but she couldn't help it.  I mean, it would change her _whole life!  And it wasn't that she didn't __want to tell Sirius because she knew that if she told Sirius about everything that was going through her mind, he wouldn't tell anyone.  She and Sirius had occasional late-night talks, one about Animagi and werewolves after Lily found out about Remus and the other three being Animagi.  Then there was a late-night talk about another break-up of hers and James.  Another brought up the subject of Savannah and her boyfriend at the time.  There were a few about the future and where their lives were heading.  Their last one was about the memories at Hogwarts and mostly about Allie and Kaitlynne, who they hadn't seen for the longest time.  Every time they talked, they kept it to themselves and never told anyone, and no one even knew they talked late at night and/or early in the morning.  They respected each other more than everyone thought.  Sirius always knew what was on Lily's mind, and vice versa.  It was as if they were brother and sister…or as if they shared the same mind-frame.  They always admitted that it was nice to have someone to talk to that wasn't their current __partner.  Actually, their talks usually get around to trouble in paradise._

            "Lily…" Sirius said.  "Listen, you don't _have to tell me anything, but I'm always here and you know I'll listen and you know that everything we say is confidential."_

            Lily turned towards him and suddenly burst into an explanation.  "Sirius, when I move to California, everything's going to change.  My whole _life _will be different!  England has been my home for the past twenty-two years. This is where I belong.  I don't want to move to America…" she mumbled.  "And yet I do.  I'm just…I'm going to miss everything here.  This morning I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about every single memory possible from Hogwarts and then graduation and the graduation dance.  And then there was that summer afterward in which was probably some of the best memories I'll _ever _have.  And then all the parties and get-togethers and everything after Hogwarts up until now.  It sucks, Sirius, realizing that this will be the last months I'll be _living in England," Lily said, breaking down and eventually sobbing hysterically.  _

            Sirius moved over closer to her to give her a soothing, relaxing hug and let her lean back into his arms while he comforted her.  "Yes, there have been so many memories here, but you're going to have tons in California, also!  Lily, it's definitely going to be different here without you, and we're all going to manage, and _you're _going to manage in California.  You're going to become a famous publisher one day and I'm going to be able to tell people 'Hey!  That's Lily Potter, and-"

            "_Potter_?" she questioned.

            "Oh, please, you two are going to get married one day," Sirius said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and they both laughed.  "Anyway, I'll be saying 'Hey!  That's Lily Potter and I used to date her!'" Sirius cried.

            Lily looked up at him with a strange look on her face.  "_What??  We never dated!"_

            "Yeah, I know, but it would make me more popular to have dated a famous publisher."

            Lily cracked up.  "Oh, so all in all, you're the one who benefits?"

            "Well, _duh.  I'm all that ever matters!"_

            They both laughed and Lily said seriously, "Um…I don't really want to think about this, but what are you going to do about the house?  Are you going to try to find someone else to live with?  Or…are you going to move to an apartment?  Or…what?"

            Sirius thought about it for a few seconds.  "You know, I didn't think about it until now."

            "Yeah, I didn't think about it until about an hour ago."

            "Maybe James or Savannah could move in after their last year of college or something.  I don't know; I'll think of something.  For now, let's not think about it."

            "Yeah, that sounds good to me," Lily said, shivering because of the breeze that suddenly swept through the room.

            Sirius grabbed the blanket draped over the couch and gave it to her.  "Here."

            Lily smiled.  "Thanks.  Sirius, I'm never going to find anyone as good as you to move in with."

            "I know," he joked, and Lily hit him playfully.  "And what happened to not thinking about it?" he teased.

            Lily sighed.  "I can't help _not to think about it.  I mean, what else am I going to think about?  The beautiful birds chirping outside?" she asked sarcastically._

            Sirius hesitated before answering.  "There _are no birds chirping outside now."_

            Lily laughed.  "I know.  It's not even four a.m. Sirius.  I would _hope _that there weren't any birds awake."

            Sirius laughed.  "Do you remember the time we accidentally turned the pincushions into porcupines during Transfiguration class…what was it, second year?"

            "It was third year, and what are you talking about '_accidentally_??'" Lily accused.

            "Okay, okay it was purposely.  What's the difference!?"

            "Do you really want me to answer that?" Lily asked, and they both laughed.

            "Lily, what's one of your favorite memories at Hogwarts?" Sirius unexpectedly asked.

            "I have to pick one?" she said laughing.  "Let's think…well, graduation of course, then there was the graduation _dance_, then the time James asked me out for the first time and our first date, then there was the second year snow-in, then there was the time I found out about you guys being Animagi, and-"

            Sirius burst into laughter, remembering the time that Lily was almost bitten by Remus in the Forbidden Forest and was saved by a stag and a black dog.  She was screaming and James and Sirius transformed themselves back into humans, forgetting they were transformed into their Animagi, and had to explain the whole situation.  In the end, they were all laughing and Lily swore not to tell anyone.

            Lily paused before continuing.  "No, you know what?  Besides graduation, of course, my favorite memory was the time that the eight of us all first met…and became friends."

            "That was different times, though.  You hated us in the beginning," Sirius pointed out.

            "I know, but I can't choose just _one."_

            Sirius laughed.  "And how is us throwing water balloons at you your favorite memory?"

            Lily shrugged.  "It was just a reminder of how stupid and idiotic you were back then."

            "HEY!"

            "Sirius, you thought that turning a girl's hair green and putting a dungbomb in their books was a turn-on in your first and second year."

            Sirius laughed.  "Well, _I _thought the color green was rather attractive!"

            "We're not dinosaurs!"

            "Oh…my mistake."

            "SIRIUS!" Lily cried, laughing. 

**~ ~ ~ ~ F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            "Oh come on!  I know you like Tim.  Admit it," Lily said laughing at Kaitlynne during their first year in the commons room two hours before Christmas dinner at Hogwarts.  Lily, Kaitlynne, Savannah, and Allie all stayed that Christmas with three other Gryffindors, two Ravenclaws, two Slytherins and five Hufflepuffs. 

            "Tim is…nice.  But he's just a friend!" Kaitlynne explained.

            "Well, you spend an awful lot of time with him for just _friends_," Savannah accused. 

            "Well, I spend an awful lot of time with _you _guys but I hope I'm not dating one of _you_!" she replied, and they all laughed.  "And what about Allie!  I swear she's in love with Josh Matthews."

            Allie started gagging.  "Are you _kidding _me???  The first time I laid eyes on him, I knew he was trouble."

            "Aww, come on.  You two are always flirting," Lily pointed out.

            "Flirting???  He turned my hair _puke green the first time I met him!  How is that flirting?"_

            "He wants you," Savannah said.

            "I don't _want him to want me!  In fact, I'd die perfectly happy just to see him humiliate himself in front of the whole damn school!!  I'd die __perfectly happy knowing if I never had to see him or speak to him ever again!"_

            "Do you know of a little thing called 'denial?'" Lily questioned.

            "Yeah, it's a river in the Amazon," Allie muttered, and they all laughed.

            Kaitlynne opened her mouth to protest, when suddenly she was splashed directly in the face with a water balloon.  "EEEK!!" she squealed, jumping up behind the chair as Lily was suddenly hit with one and Savannah was hit with two.  They both jumped behind the couch before being able to see who was throwing the balloons.

            "What's going on!?" Allie cried, crawling under the stone table, after being smashed directly in the back with a water balloon.

            Lily immediately pulled out her wand and whispered, "_Florenzio_."  A mirror suddenly appeared, and she put it at an angle so she could see who was throwing them.  She saw the three faces, which belonged to three guys, and they were all laughing.  Two of them had messy black hair, one with glasses, the other shorter, and another guy who had blonde hair and who was about a head taller than the other two guys.  She had no idea who they were, though she figured they were Gryffindors and she guessed they were first years, maybe second years.

            "I have an idea," Kaitlynne whispered.  "_Tormos!" she whispered, and she ended up with a patch of snowballs by her side.  She grabbed one, slid behind the table and threw it over at one of them._

            "HEY!" the short black-haired guy cried.  "That wasn't part of the plan!"

            "Sirius, grab that cushion!" the tall blonde called out.  _So the first one was Sirius, the girls all made mental notes._

            "Remus, there are _three cushions!"  _Tall blonde is Remus_, the girls made another mental note._

            "Grab them _all!!" another voice cried._

            "James, I have three water balloons in my hand!  I can't carry _three cushions!" Sirius cried.  _And last is James! _their last mental note for the evening.  _

            "Use your _wand!!" James cried.  The three boys all laughed as Sirius did what they told him to do._

            Allie started throwing snowballs at them, one after the other, hitting the black-haired glasses guy smack in the face with _two_.

            Lily started laughing as her head formed an idea.  "_Islamio!" and a second later, a __HUGE pile of snow fell from the ceiling and on to the three boys, who were now covered from head to toe in snow and couldn't see a thing.  Kaitlynne, Savannah, Lily, and Allie all climbed out of where they were hiding laughing at the image of the three boys covered in snow._

            "Nice one, Lily," Savannah said.

            "You should know not to mess with us because we _always _win," Allie smirked, walking right by them towards the girls' dorm to change into nicer clothes for the Christmas feast.

            Once the girls all left and James, Sirius, and Remus wiped off the snow and cleaned it all up using magic.  "I can't believe we were outsmarted by a bunch of girls!" Sirius cried. 

            "Don't worry.  We'll get them back," James said, an idea forming in his head already.  "Tonight, the plan is going into action," he continued, as he described what he thought they should do.

*****

_Later that evening…._

"Why, hello ladies.  How are you on this _lovely Christmas evening?" James said with a gentleman voice to Lily, Savannah, Allie, and Kaitlynne._

            "Why, hello, _jackass," Kaitlynne replied with a fake smile._

            "Now, there's no need to be nasty to a poor fellow like me."

            "Weren't _you the one who hit _us _with water balloons?  Or is your memory __that bad?" Allie asked._

            "Oh, I remember that, but don't _you remember smothering us with snow?" he replied._

            "Oh, we certainly _do remember that.  I don't remember the last time before that when I laughed so hard at three foolish-looking guys…although, I guess you get laughed at all the time," Lily snapped._

            "Could we please just go down to dinner without you or any of your friends bothering us?" Savannah sneered.

            "Good evening, Savannah!" a voice cried from behind her.

            "Too late," Savannah mumbled, turning around to face Sirius Black.  "How the hell did you know my name?"

            "I have my ways," he said with a wink.  "Now may I escort you down to the feast?"

            "No, but you can kiss my ass," she replied.  They girls all laughed, and, ignoring the guys, walked out of the Gryffindor House towards the Great Hall.  About two minutes later, they realized they were being followed by the jackasses, but ignored them and continued on. They got to the entrance and then Savannah, Allie, and Kaitlynne all walked in and before Lily knew what she was doing, James grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

            "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she cried, trying to pull away from him.

            "Look above you," he said, pointing up to where mistletoe was.

            Lily burst into laughter.  "Now if you actually think I'm going to let you kiss me, you really have to get your head examined.  In fact, just get your head examined no matter _what _you think."

            "No, you can't ruin the mistletoe tradition!" James insisted, gripping her arm tighter.

            "Watch me," she sneered, trying to pull away from him, but his grip was too strong.

            "I'm watching, but you're not going anywhere," he said with a grin on his face.

            "Oh my God, you planned this didn't you," Lily said disgustedly.

            "Now, what makes you say _that?" James said innocently._

            "You are such a _bastard!  Now get your arm off of me before I embarrass you in front of everyone," Lily sneered._

            "Yeah, right.  I doubt _that's _going to happen," James said rolling his eyes.

            "Oh, really?" she said, getting a mischievous grin on her face.  "NO, I WILL _NOT_ HAVE SEX WITH YOU, JAMES POTTER!" Lily cried before plunging her knee into a…er…non-favorable spot of James' who was already red of humiliation and was now bending over in uncontrollable pain.  All the students there were in a fit of laughter, including Sirius and Remus who were trying to stop and Kaitlynne, Allie, and Savannah were holding their sides, with tears running down the sides of their faces and were practically rolling on the floor in high-pitched laughter. 

            Lily walked over to her friends, pretending like nothing happened recognizing the fact that everyone was looking at her, still laughing.  She took a seat at the table and innocently asked, "So, when's dinner?"     

            "Hey, how about later, you come up to my room…and we do the opposite of what James and Lily are doing," Josh Matthews said to Allie from behind her.

            Allie groaned.  "Get lost, loser.  I wouldn't be caught _dead in your room in a _million _years and if you ever come near us again I might have to see to it that you, _too_, are humiliated."_

            "Awww, it's nice to know you care," he responded.

            "I don't care, and I never will," she snapped, as he turned his back on her and walked away.

            "Why are guys such assholes?" she wondered.

            "Oh, you love us, you just don't know it," Sirius said, sitting directly next to Savannah.

            "Oh, that's funny, because the last time I checked I _didn't_," Kaitlynne said from the other side of Savannah.

            "Now, can't we all just be friends?" James asked with a silly Cheshire cat grin on his face.

            "Maybe in the next lifetime when you're a dung beetle or something," Lily answered, and all of the girls laughed.

            "Now, what makes you thinks I'm going to be a dung beetle in my next lifetime?" 

            "Well, I heard that in the next lifetime, people become things that sorta resemble them already," she responded, and the girls laughed again.

            "Ohhhhh!!!  So…you'd just be dirt?" James said, before flashing a smile and walking to the other side with the rest of his friends.

            "UGH!!!  I hate him and I don't even know who the hell he is!" Lily cried.

**~ ~ ~ ~ E N D   O F    F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            "We have some great memories at Hogwarts," Lily said with a smile.  

            "Yeah, and you're going to get some great memories in California."

            "But they won't be with you guys."

            "They'll be with other people.  New friends, who you will like _almost as much as you like me…I mean, __us," Sirius said innocently, and they both laughed._

*~*~*~*~*

            The next night, the night they were all going to Le Soleil Levant, Lily was in her room getting ready when suddenly a snow-white owl flew into her bedroom and threw a letter on to her bed.  Lily went to retrieve it, hoping that it was from Kaitlynne.

HEY LILY!! 

            _Wow, I was not expecting a letter from you, but I'm sure glad you wrote me!!!  I'm so happy for you and James _and _for __Savannah__ and Sirius.  And you're right.  They are meant for each other and I do hope that they end up getting married.  And same goes for you and James.  And I bet you two become even more _in love, if that's possible, once you move to ___America__.  __California__ is gorgeous__!!  I know you'll love it!!  I lived there for about four months with my older cousin, Andy, working with Random House for Wizardry, but I'm moving out soon and am working for the London Ledger.  __I just do the photographs, but it's awesome and the job is great__!  Actually, I'm trying to find an apartment somewhere close to their headquarters, so if you have any suggestions just let me know! _

_            You mentioned me being engaged, but it didn't work out.  About a month before we were to be married, Jarod got a job in __Columbia__, and because my job was in _Los Angeles___, I couldn't move with him and we ended up realizing that we weren't meant for each other.  I'm fine though and we still talk, so we're okay._

_            I'm so glad that at least a few of the original eight are still friends and I only wish that I could have kept in touch.  But, I am free tonight and I would be so thrilled to have dinner with the six of you!  I'm so excited and I can't wait to see you guys again after four years and hear what has been up with you!!  _

_            Well, like you said, if I wrote down everything I'd want to tell you, you'd be reading over five hundred pages, so I will just tell you and the rest of the group tonight!  I will see you then!_

_                                    Love you always,_

                                                Kaitlynne Young     

            Lily laughed out loud, realizing that she'd be working where Kaitlynne worked, and maybe even at the same job.  Then she thought about trying to move in with Andy, who she vaguely remembered. He was a few years older than Kaitlynne and herself, and the last time she saw him, summer before fifth year, she remembered him being tall with blonde semi-spiked hair with an earring.  Actually, she remembered thinking that he was very good-looking and if he wasn't already dating someone, she'd be interested even though he wasn't a wizard.  Basically his whole family was, though, so he knew everything about magic. 

            She suddenly thought to herself that maybe Kaitlynne could move in with Sirius, as well, and Lily smiled, realizing how funny the situation really was.

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	6. Hello's and Goodbye's

            **A/N: **Here I am again!!  I'm so happy I had the chance to put this up in between my busy schedule.  My semester is finishing up and I've been busy with finals and midterms and then field hockey and our school musical, so I haven't really gotten a chance to go on my computer lately.  So, be happy that you're seeing me updating now!!  YAY!  So, I hope that I'll get a chance to update sometime later in this week or next week, so keep looking for it!  

            **Disclaimer: **If you don't know what I'm about to say by now, then you're pathetic.  Just see previous chapters!!

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER6: Hello's and Good-bye's****

Written by Foxy

"Hey, Lily," Savannah cried bursting into Lily's room with a black, silky, thin-strapped cocktail dress on and a silver shawl wrapped around her shoulder.

            "Wow, you look beautiful," Lily said, wearing a short, green and gold strapless dress that matched her eyes perfectly.

            "So do you," Savannah replied.  "Are you ready to go?"

            "We still have time," Lily pointed out, making note of the clock on her bed-stand.

            "I know, but James just called from his house and he's meeting us at the restaurant along with Sirius, Remus, and Peter and he said he had a surprise for us…and surprises are enough to make me hurry."

            "Oooh, what is it?"

            Savannah laughed.  "I don't _know_.  Hence the word 'surprise.'"

            Lily laughed.  "Yeah, yeah.  I get it.  Actually, I have a surprise as well, but before you ask me what it is I'm going to say until we get there."

            "Awww, why not?"

            "Because I say so," Lily said with a grin. 

            "Friends aren't supposed to keep secrets from each other!" Savannah whined playfully, batting her eyes at Lily angelically. 

            Lily swatted her on the nose with a teasing grin.  "Yeah, well no one said that friends couldn't keep '_surprises' _from each other!"

            Savannah pouted and leaned against the bed-post.  "I think it's one of those unwritten rules."

            "And rules were meant to be broken, babe," Lily teased, running her brush through her hair gently.

            Savannah sighed and hopped on to the bed joyfully.  "I've been so antsy lately and I don't know why!" Savannah cried giddily, changing the subject unexpectedly.

            Lily looked up from her vanity mirror and slightly turned to get a better look at Savannah.  "Does the word _'Sirius' mean anything to you?"_

            Savannah bounced on the bed lightheartedly and looked up at the ceiling self-evidently and full of wonder and bewilderment, deep in thought about Lily's previous words.  "Well…yeah, but it's never been like _this before.  He's just been that humorous, witty guy in my life who was always there to make me feel better about myself and about life.  I never realized it until recently that he wasn't one of those regretted teenage relationships.  He meant more to me than I thought.  I just never realized it until now."_

            "And _that explains why you're so giddy," Lily pointed out, staring intently on Savannah's confused fixation._

            Savannah smiled and turned back to give Lily a long, hard, understanding stare.  "Oh…well, I guess you're right."

            "See?  You just don't know things until they're told to you."

            "Is that some sort of subtle way of telling me I'm clueless?"

            Lily laughed, and grabbed her small black purse from the closet handle.  "No…I'm just saying you're clueless when it comes to you and Sirius."

            "Oh…but that's still an insult!!"

            "Not necessarily.  Because I'm the same way with James.  I love him so much it kills me sometimes, but at times when I'm angry or frustrated or jealous, I ignore that and act as if he and I were never meant to be together."

            "Awwww…"

            "Shut up, Van," Lily smirked with a slight grin.  "Come on.  We're already late."

            "For those guys that we're meant to be with, right?"

            Lily threw back her head and laughed.  "You're just going to throw that back in my face, aren't I?"

            "Of course."

            "Yeah, well _you're clueless!"_

            "But so are you…and you admitted it, so you can't deny it!"

            "I hate it when you're right."

            "It's funny because I _love it when I'm right!"  _

*~*~*~*~*

            "Yeah, and when was the last time _you _had a date, Wormtail?" Remus teased Peter.

            "Same goes for _you!" James cried to Remus and they all laughed._

            "Hey, I dated Vicky Steilberg for a while," Remus replied.  "That was last year.  Besides, it's not like _you've had a lot of dates _besides_ Lily!  It's either you're going out with her or you're moping around because you're _not _dating her."_

            "I've been around," James responded stiffly.

            "Oh, really??  And with who?" Sirius questioned.

            James paused to think about it.  "Er…."

            "Exactly."

            "Okay, fine, you caught me."

            "Who _was the last girl you dated besides Lily?" Peter questioned._

            "Um…er…I guess Lareesa Muccolloch," he answered with a sigh.

            Sirius burst into laughter.  "That was three and a half years ago…for about two _weeks_!!"

            "I _know.  It's not my fault that I've found the perfect woman."_

            Remus, Peter, and Sirius surprised James by smiling instead of gagging.  "Is she going to stay your perfect woman?" Remus asked.

            "What do you mean?"

           "I mean, after she leaves for California.  What's going to happen then?" he continued.

            James sighed and started fiddling with his silverware.  "Good question.  I…I don't know what's going to happen.  I mean, I-I didn't tell you or Peter this, but on our Anniversary, I was going to ask her to marry me.  I-"

            "What?" Peter gasped.

            "Really??" Remus cried happily.

            "Don't get your hopes up, though.  It's not going to happen now."  Remus and Peter opened their mouths to speak, but James stopped them.  "I know you're going to ask me why, but it's for the best."

            "I've heard _that one before," Sirius muttered._

            "What?" Peter asked with a confused look.  Both Remus and James looked bewildered.

            "Oh…did I say that out loud?" Sirius joked.

            "Yeah, so now you have to tell me what you meant by it," James commented.

            Sirius sighed.  "I'm not trying to pressure you into going for it, because you already gave me reasons why not and they were good ones, but think back to graduation," Sirius explained.  "Me and Savannah?"

            "Oh," Peter simply said.

            "Yeah, '_oh' is right.  We broke up and it _was _for the best…or so we thought.  We both didn't want to break up, but it happened and it kind of tore us apart again.  And yes, we're going out now, but that's my point.  We ended up realizing it never __was for the best.  We were both just stupid to try to do something harder than usual.  And I know you're going to say that you can't move to California and she can't stay here, but being engaged doesn't mean you have to get married right away!" Sirius explained._

            "It's true, James," Peter agreed.

            Remus commented, "You're probably thinking that it would be too hard because you'll be living so far away from each other and the change would be too hard for both of you and things would become even _more _difficult, but that's life!!"

            James sighed.  "Yes, but this isn't _your decision.  It's mine…and it's…well, it's _hard_, for lack of a better word.  I don't know what to do!  I love Lily and I __want to marry her…but at the same time, I don't.  I…I just have to wait a few years until things get straightened out between the __both of us."_

            They all three nodded, understanding what he was saying and not trying to disagree with what he had to say.  "Okay, now either we can stay grumpy and annoyed the rest of the night or we could have fun and celebrate a wonderful last evening with Savannah…wherever she may be!" Sirius cried, picking up his champagne glass.

            "Did I hear my name?" a voice said from behind Sirius as Savannah wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

            "Hey, Vannie," he said, this time giving her a quick kiss on the lips. 

            "Sirius was just saying how much he wanted to murder you tonight," James said.  "Oops, was I not supposed to tell?"

            They all laughed and James turned to Lily.  "Hey, sweetheart," he said grabbing her arm and kissing her on the cheek.  "Wow…you look absolutely beautiful."

            Lily smiled at him.  "You don't look half-bad yourself," she replied with a grin and a wink as they chuckled.

            "So I see you ordered some champagne without us?" Savannah accused, taking a seat across from Sirius and next to Lily, who took a seat next to James who was on the end, sitting next to Peter.  On the other side of Sirius was Remus.

            "Oh, there's plenty for you," Sirius said laughing.  

            "So is there a reason why there are two extra chairs at the end of this table?" Peter asked.

            "Actually-" both James and Lily started.  They laughed, and James signaled for Lily to continue.

            "As I was saying, _actually I have a surprise for all of you," Lily said with a grin._

            Sirius and James laughed considering they knew that _they _had a surprise also.  "Actually, so do _I," James remarked, and all six of them laughed._

            "I was-" Lily started, but she heard her name being beckoned from behind her.

            "Lily!?" a woman's voice cried.

            Lily turned around and jumped out of her seat.  "_KAITLYNNE!!!!!" Lily screeched, immediately jumping out of her seat to run over to her.  "It's been so long!!!!  I can't believe I haven't seen you for about four years!!!!"_

            Savannah, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all gasped and literally jumped out of their seats.  "Ooooh, _Kaitlynne_!!!  I can't believe it's you!" Savannah squeaked grabbing her into a huge hug with a huge smile plastered on her face.

            "Hey, Baby Girl," Remus said giving her his nickname he used to call her by, giving her a kiss on the cheek and a hug and a squeeze.

            "Hey, Sweetstuff," she said with a wink, calling him by _his _nickname.

            "Kayti, Kayti, Kayti," Sirius said giving her a kiss on the cheek and a hug, like everyone else.

            "Sirius, Sirius, Sirius.  It's been _way _too long," Kaitlynne replied, giving him a hug back.

            "Kaitlynne Trylin Young, how dare you change without letting me know," James accused, giving her a tight squeeze.

            "And what about you?  You look…taller," she said laughing.

            "Gee, thanks.  What a compliment," he said sarcastically as they all laughed.

            "Hey, Kate," Peter said with a smile and a hug.

            "Hey Pete.  Wassup?" she said with a laugh, returning the hug.

            "I've been keeping it real," he replied, and they alllaughed.

            "Wow, it feels good to have the seven of us back again," Remus said with a smile, pulling out a chair for Kaitlynne. 

            At that moment, Sirius and James turned to look at each other and burst into uncontrollable laughter, slapping the table, holding their sides, and whenever they tried to stop, they just started up again.

            "Okay, so I'm guessing they haven't changed a bit," Kaitlynne said with a laugh.

            "Was that supposed to be a surprise?" Savannah joked chuckling.  "Could you ever see Sirius not being…well, _not being Sirius-like?"_

            They all laughed as Lily said, "As…_amusing as it is to see you two looking like fools, why are you two laughing so hard?"_

            Eventually, after they calmed down, James explained, "It's just that…well, as good as it is to see the _seven of us again…I think my surprise will make us all feel a _hundred _times better than we are right now."_

            "Is that possible?" Remus asked with a _huge _grin stuck on his face.

            Kaitlynne started to laugh as well.  "I think I know what they're talking about," she said catching eye-contact with James, and he grinned at her, knowing that she probably knew about Allie.  

_ Speaking of Allie…  _"Well, well, well.  If it isn't the Marauders and the Honorary Marauders reunited once again," a voice said from behind James.

            This time, Peter, Remus, Savannah, and _Lily all gasped and literally jumped out of their seats.  They knew that the whole restaurant was probably staring at them with confusion and suspicion, but at that moment they didn't care.  "__ALLIE!!!" both Savannah and Lily cried, suffocating her with a double hug. _

            They all called out her name and gave her a hug, just like with Kaitlynne, and after ten minutes of excitement, they finally calmed down and took a seat and got their glasses of champagne.

            "I would like to propose a toast," James said from one end of the table raising his glass. They all raised their glasses and listened to him.  "To us.  The eight of us back together after four years of separation.  The four Marauders and four Honorary Marauders reunited once again.  I love you guys," he finished with a smile and a wink.

            "To us!" they all cried, clinking their glasses.

            Lily grinned wide, glancing around the table at all of her friends.  It was so good to be a group again…but being with all of them there just reminded Lily about how soon she'd be gone from them all……

*~*~*~*~*

            "Now Kaitlynne, I hear you're a photographer now," Remus said.  "Is that true?"

            "Actually, yes.  The last couple of months I was working in Los Angeles in publishing, but there, I learned all about photography and it got me interested.  So I applied to the _London Ledger as a photographer and they gave me a beginning job.  So I'll be in London now!" she explained gleefully._

            "Ooh, where are you living?" Savannah asked.

            Kaitlynne cringed.  "Actually…nowhere at the moment.  Well, actually I'm staying at a hotel in London for a little while.  But I haven't had time to look, which wasn't a smart decision on my behalf.  I'll have to find a place fast.  Or even a temporary place," she described.

            Both Sirius and Lily turned towards each other at the same time and immediately started laughing, as everyone else gave them a weird look.

            "What's so funny?" Allie asked.

            "I'm moving to California at the end of the month, actually," Lily explained to Allie and she turned towards Kaitlynne again.  "Actually, I got a job in California at _Random House for Wizardry, Kaitlynne.  Anyway, Sirius needs a roommate temporarily."_

            "It would be so much fun rooming with you!" Sirius cried.

            "A-_hem!" Lily cried.  _

            "Well, not as much fun as _you, of course," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  _

            Kaitlynne started laughing.  "That's so great!!!  This is working out perfectly, because my cousin is looking for a roommate, and you'd be perfect, Lily!"

            Lily squealed with delight as she jumped out of her chair and ran to give Kaitlynne a hug.  "This is so _excellent!!!!!  I'll go check it out next week!"_

            They all calmed down a bit and suddenly Lily asked, "Hey, Allie, what about you?  What's going on in your life?"

            "Well, I bet James told you, but I'm engaged now, and-"

            "You're _kidding!!" Savannah and Lily cried in unison. _

            "No one told us!" Remus cried.  

            Allie grinned.  "Well, then what I'm about to say next is going to be a _big _surprise."

            "What?" Lily asked anxiously.

            "I'm engaged to Josh Matthews."

            Peter, Remus, Savannah, and Lily all gasped in complete shock.  "But you _hate him!!" Savannah cried in confusion._

            Allie laughed.  "I did, yes, but my mother and his uncle got married last Spring, so we were often stuck hanging out with each other, and I guess one thing led to another and we started becoming friends…then a little more than friends…then a little more than that, and he proposed to me in January.  We're getting married in October, and you're all invited.  Actually…Kaitlynne's my maid of honor, but…Lily, Savannah, you guys will be my bridesmaids, won't you?"

            They both squealed.  "This will be so much fun!!!!" Savannah screeched. 

*~*~*~*~*

            Sunday night, two days after Savannah left and a day after Peter left, James and Lily were at the airport saying their good-byes, after James said good-bye to Sirius and Remus at the house.

            "I don't want you to go," Lily whined to James, giving him _another _hug that evening.

            "I don't want me to go either, sweetheart," he commented, kissing on her forehead.

            Lily looked up into his eyes and tears started brimming in her eyes.  Not just because James was leaving, but also because she knew she wouldn't have much chances to see James after that week and the weekend of her birthday.  She knew that there wouldn't be much time to hang out with him over the summer, either.  Just thinking about leaving him made the tears fall down her cheeks.

            "Oh, honey, don't cry.  Don't make this harder than it already is," James whined.

            "I can't help it.  I love you so much and now you're leaving!"

            James couldn't help laughing.  "Loving me isn't a crime, hon.  We'll still be able to talk and write, and I'm _definitely _coming back for your birthday."__

            "You promise?" Lily asked.

            "Of course I'll be there! Cross my heart and hope to die," James said.

            "Nuh-uh.  Don't hope to die," Lily said and they both grinned.

            "Okay, cross my heart, and hope to live."

            They both laughed.  "Better, but I still don't want you to go _now."  James laughed._

            "Lily, I have to.  Unless you want me to get expelled, and I _know you don't want that. I promise I'll be back and don't worry about going to California. It'll be __fine," James said.  "If you don't stop crying then I'll __start crying and that won't be good. There are still a few weeks."_

            "I'm sorry. I really don't know why I'm crying. I've never done it before when you've left," Lily said.

            "I know why," James whispered in her ear sincerely understanding her fear of leaving him for America.  "And I think you know why."  Lily looked up at him and at that moment she realized that she's got everything she's always wanted: someone to love. After Petunia turned on her when Lily was eleven and Petunia was sixteen and old enough to stop babying her little sister and realizing that Lily was now a freak, Lily turned towards her parents. After Lily left for Hogwarts, she depended on her friends.  After graduation, Lily turned back towards her parents.  After they died, Lily turned towards James.  Unfortunately, four months later, they broke up and Lily had no one to sincerely love.  And now, as she stood staring up at James, she realized that she's finally happy…and it scared her.  

            "THIS IS THE LAST BOARDING CALL FOR FLIGHT 245," came over the intercom.

            "I really gotta go sweetie," James said.

            "I know," she said with a sigh.  "I love you."  Lily kissed him once more and gave him a huge hug that lasted for so long and then he was off.  She brought her hands to her face as the tears streamed down in her cheeks as she watched him turn around for one last good-bye wink and a wave and he walked through the runway.  

            A part of her wanted to run after him telling him that she was going to stay in England, and that she couldn't move to California just for James, who was the one thing that was certain in her life.  But the other part, the stronger part and the self-motivated part, was telling her to stay put and that she was doing the right thing even though it didn't feel like it.  Unfortunately…the second part always seems to win.

*~*~*~*~*

            "Hi, I'm Lily Evans," Lily introduced herself to Andy two and a half weeks later, on May 4.  "Um…you probably don't remember me, but-"

            "Oh, my God," Andy said slowly, interrupting.  "I…I can't believe it.  Wow…uh…oh!!  Come on in.  Please, have a seat," he said in complete shock.

            "So I'm guessing you _do remember me then," Lily said with a grin on her face._

            "Of course I do!  You were the cute redhead at Kaitlynne's sixteenth birthday party that one summer I was staying at her house."

            Lily laughed.  "Yeah, that was me.  I didn't expect you to remember me, actually.  I…I just came here hoping I wouldn't make a fool of myself."

            Andy laughed.  "How could I _not remember you?  I remember staring at you the whole time you were there!  You were absolutely gorgeous…and I see you haven't changed."_

            Lily blushed and covered her cheeks with the palms of her hands.  "You obviously didn't see Savannah Turner at the party."

            He threw back his head and laughed.  "I remember her, also.  She was a funny person, but not half as beautiful as you."

            She blushed again.  "Thanks."

            "You were going out with some…Jamie guy?  Or Jimmy?  Something like that, weren't you?  I remember that because I probably would have walked up to you and said something if you were attached to someone else at the party."

            Lily laughed.  "James Potter, yeah.  And you still could've walked up to me."

            Andy laughed.  "I could tell he was the jealous type."

            Lily laughed again.  "Still is," she commented with a smirk.

            Andy looked up at her surprised.  "You're still friends with him?"  

            Lily smiled at the ground uncomfortably, not looking up at Andy.  "Actually, I'm still _dating _him.  Well…not _still _dating him, because we've been on-and-off for the past seven years, but this last year, we've been completely serious about each other," she explained, getting carried away.  "But why am I telling you this?  You don't care."

            "Sure I do!  We've got a lot of catching up to do!  Almost eight years worth!"

            Lily laughed.  "Well, maybe we'll have more time to do it," Lily hinted.

            "What do you mean?" he asked curiously.

            "Well, I talked to Kaitlynne last night and she told me that you were looking for a roommate and I _need a place to live and it needs to be quick…in about three weeks actually."_

            Andy clapped his hands together excitedly and smiled.  "Well, Kaitlynne was right.  I _do need a roommate, and you'd be perfect.  And the only offerings I've gotten so far were a drug addict, a jail breakaway, and a sadistic thirteen-year-old girl living out on the streets.  So you coming here was obviously a miracle.  If you don't mind me asking, though, why are you looking here?  I mean, why are you moving to California?"_

            "Well, I'm going to be working with _Random House for Wizardry starting May 26 here in Los Angeles and-"_

            "Kaitlynne worked there!"

            "Yeah, I know.  We've been talking a lot lately about it.  It seems that she'll be moving in with my old roommate, Sirius," Lily said with a grin.  "Anyway, I'm getting off-topic.  She told me how wonderful it really was."

            Andy smiled and patted her shoulder.  "_Random House _is _totally _an excellent place to work.  I worked in the Muggle _Random House, about forty minutes from here_,_ two years ago in the Arts and Liberal department for about half a year. But then I was offered the job of head professor at the University of Los Angeles in the Drama department, so now I'm the musical instructor and I also coach junior varsity football."_

            Lily grinned.  "That sounds so great!  Have you been working there since?"

            "Yep.  And I hope to be working there for _much longer."_

            "Well, I hope you do, as well," Lily said with a smile, incredibly grateful that she had a place to live now.  At least she could stop worrying about _that. _

            "Okay, so we need to get things straight."

            "What things?" she asked.

            "Well, _when will you be moving in here and do you have any hott friends that I don't know about?"_

            Lily threw back her head and laughed.  "The end of May at sometime, and I think my grandmother is free," Lily teased.

            Andy laughed.  "I think we'll have plenty of fun living together."

            "You and my grandmother?"

            Andy laughed and winked at her.  "Well, you'd be my _second choice for a roommate."_

*~*~*~*~*

            _RIIIIIIIIIING__!! _

            Lily was sleeping on the couch two weeks later when she was interrupted by the telephone.  "Ugh," she groaned, scrambling off of the couch and towards the kitchen phone.

            On the fourth ring, she picked it up.  "Hello?" she muttered.

            "Lily??" a voice said from the other side.

            "Uh…yeah," she said, not sure who was on the other line.

            "It's Savannah!"

            "_Savannah__!!" Lily squealed.  "I haven't heard from you in so long!!  But why are you calling me?  Why didn't you owl me?"_

            "Because I couldn't wait to tell you!"

            "What? What?"

            "I'm coming home next _Wednesday now instead of Saturday to celebrate your birthday!"_

            "_REALLY!?" Lily screeched, jumping around with the cord wrapping around her body.  "Oooooh, I can't wait!!!!"_

            "I know!!  Our school is having some sort of festival concert type thing for the whole week, and I switched my concert hours with a few friends so that instead of working Monday and _Friday, I could work Monday and _Tuesday! _ So if I can, I'll either fly by broomstick depending on how much stuff I need to bring back or I'll catch an early flight on British Airways, or whatnot."_

            "This is so great!  I can't wait, I can't wait!!!" Lily shrieked.

            Savannah laughed out loud. "Is Si-Si there?"

            "Actually, no, I'm sorry," Lily replied.  "He'll be home soon though, if you just want to wait."

            "Actually, I'm going to be late for class anyway, but tell Si-Si I say hi and I'll see him next Wednesday.  Luv ya, hon!"

            "I'll tell him and I luv ya too!" Lily cried before hanging up the phone.  Already, she couldn't wait until her birthday.  She just wish that James was coming home sooner as well so she could spend as much time as possible with him before leaving for California.

            "I'm hooooooooome!" a voice called from the living room as the door slammed about five minutes later.

            "Hey, Sirius!" Lily said gleefully, literally hopping into the living room.

            "Wow, why are you so peppy?"

            Lily laughed.  "I have some news for you that will make you incredibly happy."

            "Uh-oh.  Please don't tell me you and James eloped," he joked.

            Lily laughed.  "No!  But we were planning on eloping tomorrow.  Is that okay with you?"

            "You're not supposed to _tell me!" he gasped.  They both laughed.  _

            "But I call best man!"

            "When you elope you don't _have a best man," Lily pointed out.  _

            "Well, I'll be the nonexistent, invisible best man."

            "How about just the invisible _man_?"

            Sirius laughed.  "I'll have to think about that _after you tell me the great news you have."_

            "Savannah is coming home next _Wednesday now."_

            He gasped.  "REALLY!?" he squealed.

            "You sound like a girl."

            "No, I don't!" he insisted.

            "Now, come here my little Sirius baby, and maybe we'll paint your nails or something.  Change your hair a bit?  Do your make-up?  Style up your clothes a bit?" she said laughing.  "Your choice."

            "How about I just leave and pretend like I never walked in here?" he suggested, creeping back slowly.

            Lily laughed.  "Okay, make-up it is!" she chose, and they both laughed.

            "Oh, my God!"  he gasped, suddenly realizing something.

            "Uh-oh, what?"

            "I don't think I have anything to wear when she gets here!" he said in a girly, sarcastic voice.

*~*~*~*~*

            "Lily, come down here!!!" Sirius cried urgently from the bottom of the stairs, the following Tuesday, May 18, four and a half days before her birthday.

            "What is it?  I'm about to take a shower!" she cried from her room.

            "Trust me, this is _much more important that your shower…though you _could _come down in your towel if you wanted to!"_

            "_SIRIUS!_" she cried, laughing.

            "Or not!  Whatever works for you!"  

            They both laughed, as Lily scurried down the stairs, jumping the last two.  "What?"

            "Come in here and look at the T.V.," he said, grabbing her hand.

            "Sirius, I _told you!  Britney Spears' boobs are _not _real!"_

            Sirius laughed.  "No, it's not that!  Though, I _swear _to it, they are.  But anyway, this is more serious than Britney Spears."

            Lily leaned against the doorframe and looked on the television just as a news reporter was talking about a special report. 

            "**For all of you just joining us here on Channel 406 News, unfortunately it has finally happened," the reporter began.  "**You-Know-Who, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, _The__ Lord Voldemort has attacked again after ten years of disappearance and abandonment. But Lord Voldemort has not just attacked in one specific place like the last time in northern _******England****.  Lord Voldemort has _not just killed a __few innocent people like his last attack.  Unfortunately, it's worse than before and there's nothing we can do to stop him except pray for our spectacular Aurors to do their job.  The details up-to-date are simply that over the past two _hours_, he has been violently striking hundreds of wizardry schools, including mostly colleges, but some beginning schools, all over northern England, southern Germany, all of Luxembourg and Africa, Lebanon and Cambodia, parts of Australia, Canada, the northern states of America and Scandinavia and a few schools in western France and northern Spain. So far there have been four hundred and fifty-two…no fifty-__three deaths and over a thousand injuries.  Please, in a few moments a list of schools that have been hit by Lord Voldemort will run down your screen. Take a few moments and pray for all of those brave souls that have lived a fabulous life up to this point and pray for their families and their friends and pray for those who are injured.  Pray that they only will get better in the days to come.  And pray to those kind souls who were able to get away and run for help and for safety.   _**

**            "Now to a more serious matter on this part, for all of the witches and wizards in Europe, Africa, Australia, Asia, America, parts of South America and parts of Canada, there is a lock-down occurring at the moment.  To ensure everyone's safety, there will be no broom riding, no Floo Powder, no apparating, no phone-calling, no owling, no plane rides or _any_ traveling at that matter, and _NO MAGIC _will be of use to any witch or wizard.  There have been many restrictions already made and the Ministry is finishing up with the rest of the apparating confinements in the next few hours.  The Ministry is emphasizing these restrictions enormously, and guards, Aurors, policemen, and Dementors have been spread throughout mostly ****England****, ****Belgium****, ****Germany****, ****Austria****, and **Africa****** to guarantee the safety of everyone in the magic world.  _Please_, don't try to use any kind of magic because you _will be imprisoned for even trying in the least bit.  All sources of travel has been shut-down and you'll be hit with the Cruciatus Curse and sent to Azkaban for the time-being and a certain undecided sentence.  This has been a warning to every witch and wizard out there and the Ministry refuses to let up on anyone!_**

**            It is uncertain to the extent of this lock-down, but the ministry guarantees that it will be no less than a week and no more than a month.  We are sorry for any inconveniences that this may initiate, but it is for the better of the people and for you.  Now, here is the list of schools that Lord Voldemort has already struck."**

**Disclaimer: **Ooooooooh, cliff hanger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  gasp What's going to happen next!?!?  Who dies?  Who lives?  Who is in trouble?  But mostly…how is it handled!?  STAY TUNED…oh and review!


	7. A Not So Happy Birthday

**A/N: **I know this took me a while, but blame that on the snow and the power that went off for three days.  I've also had a five day weekend in which I went college-hunting last week (I know—doesn't it sound thrilling!?) so I wasn't even home.  But I'm back, the power is on, and I'm ready to get this up and posted!  Don't all jump up at once…

Anyway, thanks to those who reviewed last time…I like people who review!!  (In case you couldn't tell……)

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill.  Everything you recognize is the wonderful J.K. Rowling's (whose book is coming out June 21!  GET READY!!!) Anything you _don't recognize is mine…all mine!! Mwahahahaha…okay, I'll stop that. _

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER7: A Not So Happy Birthday****

Written by Foxy

            Both Lily and Sirius sat there in complete shock.  Lily's tears were already running down her face, and Sirius had his hands over his mouth in awe.

             "I-I can't believe it!  Why?  I mean…_why_????  Wh-why would he do such a thing!?  _Why!?" Lily hyperventilated in complete frustration.  "There's no word to describe him…or what he's doing!"_

            "That's because he takes pleasure in ruining innocent lives," Sirius said angrily.

            Lily sat there, mangling her hands and gripping on to the upholstery for dear life, making her knuckles as white as a ghosts.  "This is absolutely _terrible_!"

            Sirius sighed, and sunk down into the couch depressingly.  "I know…I know."  

            "What are we watching?  I mean, what channel is this?" she asked disturbingly.

            Sirius looked at her strangely.  "Why does it matter?"

            "I want to know what other channels are saying about this," Lily said with a heavy sigh and a shrug.

            "It's Channel 406.  But it doesn't really matter because it's on _every wizardry channel."_

            Lily sighed.  "This can't be happening!  This…This sucks!  It's the worst timing, too!  My birthday is this weekend!! This weekend is supposed to be the last time I'll get to hang out with you and all of my friends! And to top it all off, I'm supposed to be starting my _job next week!!!!  Why did this have to happen now!?" Lily sobbed.  "I know I should be a little less selfish, but it's __hard when I find out this son-of-a-bitch is ruining _everything_!_

            Sirius walked over to her and gave her a hug.  "Shhh, Lily.  It's going to be okay.  Shhh, you're going to be fine."

            Lily sobbed into his chest.  "What if they got James??  I'll have no way of knowing, if I can't write him or see him or _talk _to him!"

            Sirius turned back towards the television.  "Watch the screen.  Maybe You-Know-Who didn't hit James' school."  Lily turned her head back to the television as a bunch of colleges were listed.

**"****Scandinavia**** **Priddetin****** **Academy****** for Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Lebanon**** **Academy****** for the Special Arts and Dark Arts**

**Freragon**** Elementary for History of Magic**

**Lebanon**** **University****** for Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Luxembourgoise****College**** for Dark Art Wizardry  **

**Badigeonnage****Academy**** for Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Beauxbatons**** École pour Sorcellerie et  Sorcier**

**Genése**** Université pour les Histoire des Arts**

**Petite Lyceé pour Sorcellerie et Sorcier**

**Durmstrang****Academy**** for Witchcraft and Wizardry **

**Turkoff****University**** of Fine Arts**

**Klemmington****College**** of Witchcraft and Wizardry **

**Graham**** **Arts****** **University****** of Witches**

**Dolly**** **Juniper****** **University****** for Witchcraft and Wizardry   **

**Dark**** **Art****** **Academy****** of ****England******

**Artemis**** **Leonard****** **Ministry****** of ****Magic**** **Academy********

**Tatty ****Cathy****Veranda****University**** of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Dark**** **Art****** **University****** of the ****British**** **Kingdom****

**London**** **Arts****** **University****** of Witchcraft and Wizardry  **

**Marmalades**** **Academy****** for Wizards-"**

            "Holy fuck," Sirius whispered as he watched the school that he worked at go by on the screen.

            Lily groaned as she squeezed Sirius' shoulder.  The school that Sirius worked at wasn't widely known and she knew now that if Voldemort attacked _his school that James' school must have been attacked, but she tried being hopeful._

"**British****Kingdom****College**** for Dark Art Magic**

**Queen**** **Elizabeth****** **Academy****** for Witchcraft and Wizardry **

**King Louis Elementary for Dark Art Magic**

**Dollywood****University**** of Auror Ministry **

**London**** **University****** for Dark Art Magic-"**

            "_NOOOOOOOOOOO_!" Lily screamed as she saw James' school pass them by on the screen.

            "Oh, no," Sirius grumbled, as he wrapped his arms around Lily's neck as she fell into his arms and sobbed into his chest for the next five minutes as about another hundred schools went by.  By this time, Lily was in tears and even Sirius had tears brimming in his eyelids.  The tears were all mostly about James, but also about the three hundred people who had died due to an innocent act of playful magic from Voldemort.  They didn't say anything to each other until Sirius saw another dreaded school he hadn't thought about until it was being put up on the screen.

**"****Montreal****Arts****University**** for Witchcraft and Wizardry -"**

"NOOOOOO!" Sirius cried slamming his hand against the wall and making the paintings shake.

            "What, what?" Lily cried, still weeping.

            "Vannie," he whispered, letting the tears fall even _more _down his face as he wept for his girlfriend, praying that she was still alive somewhere.

            "Screw Voldemort.  He's a worthless, no-good, low-life bastard who deserves to be shot twice," Lily cursed.

            Sirius looked down at her.  "Wow, Lily.  I've never heard you speak like that."

            Lily cracked a smile.  "Yeah, well once someone messes with my boyfriend and my best friend he becomes top priority on my bitching out list."

            Sirius gave her a weak smile before thinking of Savannah again just as Lily sat and thought about James.

            Lily stared at the television motionless.  It just wasn't fair.  She had no idea where he was, who he was with, what he was doing, when his school was hit, how he was doing…it was just a jumble right now.  But it was the worst feeling ever…and there was nothing she could do about it.

*~*~*~*~*

            Considering they weren't allowed to go anywhere, Sirius and Lily often sat around their living room watching the television minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day together wrapped up in each other's arms having nothing but each other's security and calmness to make sure neither one of them would go crazy or into hysterics.  By Thursday morning there was no sign of a let up of the lock-down and Sirius and Lily had walked out of the house twice.  Once to walk into town to the grocery store, which they found was closed.  Actually, all of the stores were closed and there was no sign of life on their main street.  The second time was when all of the neighbors had met in front of a house to talk things over and Sirius and Lily stepped out to see what was going on.  Eventually, Sirius and Lily invited them all in to sit around and watch their television and just talk about everything that has been happening.  

            On Thursday night, June Yingling, Paul Yingling, Tessa Yingling, Karolyna Gertrude, Reese Gertrude, Zach Ryanson, Kailynn Suaven, Devon Suaven, Isabella Suaven, Daniella Suaven, Steve Suaven, Jillie Verne, Luke Wingo, Henry Wingo, Stephanie Wingo, and Rain Hunter were all sitting in Sirius' and Lily's living room. June, Kailynn, Devon and Isabella were all younger than eleven.  Paul, Tessa, Zach, Daniella, Steve, Henry, Stephanie, and Rain were all thirty-five years old or older.  Karolyna, Reese, Luke, Jillie were about the same age as Lily and Sirius. 

            "I don't know what to do.  I mean, in reality, I can't do _anything," Tessa Yingling was complaining about her son at a Canadian college.  "My son is off at college that was unfortunately attacked yesterday morning and I don't know if he's okay or not.  Shouldn't a mother have a right to know whether or not her family is alive??"_

            "I want to tell you that I'm sure David is fine, but unfortunately I don't even know if my Yvette and Zara are okay and before I know they're okay, I'm not certain of anything," Rain said, talking about her nineteen-year-old twin girls both in Scandinavian colleges. 

            "None of us are certain of _anything," Lily pointed out.  "Or at least __I'm not certain of anything.  I mean as much fun as sitting here talking with my neighbors is, I'd much rather be out there getting information about this damn tragedy and how my friends are doing!"_

            "A friend of ours was supposed to be arriving here yesterday from a Canadian college and now because of this pathetic lock-down, we have no idea how to reach her," Sirius explained.

            "I was so excited to finally see my cousins this weekend and now they obviously can't come," Isabella remarked, who was seven-years-old.

            Steve smiled and patted his daughter on the arm.  "Yeah, and I just wish I could contact Hanna at Hogwarts.  And even though Hogwarts is the safest school especially with Dumbledore and I trust him and his school and his protection and I know Voldemort would never bother even _touching _that school, I just wish I could owl her and tell her that the family is okay.  Unfortunately, I can't do that."

            "None of us can," Jillie said with a sigh, thinking about Davie, her fiancé who was in Australia at the moment studying to go into the medical business, and he was a muggle but he already knew about Jillie being a witch.

            They all sat in silence for a few seconds before Kailynn, a six-year-old interrupted. "Mom, when are we going to the toy store?  You said you'd bring me if I finished my book and I finished last night," she said.

            Daniella smiled at her blonde, curly-haired daughter.  "Honey, remember I told you last night that we can't go anywhere because a very bad magical man is unfortunately keeping us at home."

            "Oh," Kailynn responded.  "Then can we go next week?"

            "Maybe," Daniella answered, picking her up and putting Kailynn on her lap. 

            Lily watched Daniella with Kailynn and realized that she that there were thousands of people who were probably worse off than her.  She was lucky to be with Sirius, one of her best friends, at this time of need.  There were thousands of little kids probably whining and crying about being stuck in the house the whole time.  There were thousands of little babies who were hard to handle in a time like this.  Then there were the families who had no idea where their children were and if they were okay or not.  

            Then there were people like her who had loved ones missing.  

            Sirius glanced over at Lily, who was biting her lip and obviously thinking about something depressing, most likely James.  Sirius sighed and patted Lily's arm to show his support and concern.  'It's gonna be okay,' Sirius mouthed to her, and Lily couldn't help but give him a tiny sideways grin.  

            Luckily, Lily had a friend who was keeping her levelheaded.  

*~*~*~*~*

            Friday night into Saturday morning, Lily couldn't sleep a wink.  Savannah was already supposed to be there and Remus and James were supposed to be arriving early Saturday morning and Peter, Allie, and Kaitlynne were supposed to be arriving Saturday night.  She just wanted a good birthday this year, especially since it was supposedly her last in England and instead it was ruined by Voldemort's idea of _fun_.  Lily knew that she wouldn't be able to see any of them before she left for California…whenever that was going to be.  She tried to keep the thought of James or Savannah…_not _alive out of her mind and focused on them being safe and sound surrounded by their friends at college. 

            "SURPRISE!" someone cried early Saturday morning.

            "AGH!" Lily cried, practically leaping out of bed.  "_SIRIUS!__  What are you doing in my room at six-thirty in the morning!?"_

            "You were born at six twenty-eight in the morning of this day.  Happy birthday, Lily," Sirius said with breakfast…or what _looked like breakfast on a tray._

            Lily grinned wide.  "Oh, my _God, Sirius!  That has got to be the sweetest thing that you've ever done for me!"_

            Sirius grinned.  "Don't get used to it," he joked.  "I wanted to give you a happy birthday when it seems as if I'll be the only one here on it this year.  I wanted it to be special."

            "Awww, Sirius," she cooed.  "Thank you so much," she said, walking over to him to give him a hug.  "Oh, jeez.  Did you actually cook breakfast?"

            "Uh…I tried?  Okay, okay, so it may have been better with some magic.  Unfortunately, I can't _do that!!!" he cried laughing._

            "Are you actually going to make me _eat that?"_

             "What?  Don't you like it?"

            "_No_!" she cried and they both laughed.  "But _just for you, I'll eat it anyway."_

            "YAY!" he cried laughing, and leaving the room.

            "Thanks again!" she cried, as he walked out of the room.  "AND THE KITCHEN BETTER BE CLEAN WHEN I GET DOWN THERE!!"

            Sirius popped his head back in.  "Could you give me a…uh…_two-hour headstart before you come down?" he asked with an innocent face on.  He hesitated before continuing.  "No, better yet a two-_year _headstart?"_

            Lily laughed.  "Just go," she said with a laugh. 

*~*~*~*~*

            About twenty minutes later, she trudged down the stairs to find Sirius in front of the television without the kitchen cleaned.

            "Sirius, how is _that clean?" she asked pointing to the messy kitchen._

            "SHHHH!" he said waving her to be quiet.

            "What?" she said, walking over to the television.

            "They think that Voldemort has backed off and gone back towards Antarctica."

            "_What_?"

            "It's where he was before all of this, planning it all out," Sirius explained.

            "Oh.  Does that mean the lock-down is over?"

            "No, not yet.  He hasn't struck anywhere in over eleven hours, which may mean he's either _finally_ retreated or it's all part of his damn plan.  No one can be sure and they're not calling off the lock-down yet.  They haven't _found him yet so they're not sure about anything.  Two death-eaters were found, but they refused to give any information so an Auror killed them right there on the spot instead of bringing them to Azkaban.  But that Auror was fired soon after for being irresponsible.  Heck, I would've killed him too!"_

            Lily sighed.  "This sucks, Sirius.  This is the worst birthday ever.  Voldemort is keeping everyone in their damn houses by killing off innocent people just because _he _thinks it's fun, I don't know what's going to happen with me job, and to top it all off, I don't even know if my boyfriend and my best friend are okay!"

            "But the breakfast made up for some of that, right?" Sirius asked, patting her arm.

            Lily laughed.  "Of course, Si."

            "I'm sorry, Lily-bean.  I-"

            "What did you call me?" Lily asked curiously.

            "Er…Lily-bean?"

            Lily looked at him adoringly and embraced him unexpectedly.  "You haven't called me that in nearly five years."

            Sirius blushed, but smiled at her.  "I know…but it just fits today."

            Lily nodded.  "I know," she said thankfully.  "What were you saying?"

            Sirius hesitated, and then sighed before continuing.  "I really don't know what else to say at the moment.  It's hard to say much of _anything_.  I just wish that there could be some good news soon.  I just don't know when that will happen."

            "Don't be sorry, Sirius," she started, taking a seat next to him on the couch, as Sirius stroked her back soothingly.  "It's not your fault that this whole damn thing is happening.  I just wish that I could do something to help _anyone_, but I'm stuck here for God-knows-how-long."

            "I feel the same way, Lily," Sirius said with a long, drawled-out sigh.  "Believe me…I feel the same way."

*~*~*~*~*

            For the rest of the day, Lily and Sirius sat on the couch together under a blanket just watching the news, watching movies, playing board games, playing card games, talking, and surprisingly _having fun_.  Even though it wasn't the perfect birthday that Lily had planned, it wasn't a terrible one like she thought it would be. 

            "Sirius?" Lily asked from the living room to Sirius who has been in the kitchen for the past forty minutes.  "What are you doing in there!?"

            "Nothing!  _Don't _come in!" he cried laughing.

            She sighed and turned back to the Channel 406 news.  Unfortunately, the suspicion of Voldemort backing off was not correct and he had hit fourteen schools in Vienna, Austria and Juniper, Austria that afternoon in just forty minutes.  Unfortunately, Voldemort had also been seen wandering from town to town killing off certain people in the streets, as well, mostly in Austria, and was now heading back to London.  The tragedy is just getting worse and the lock-down looked as if it wasn't going to be let up anytime soon.

            "Sirius, he's back in London!" Lily cried with a worried face as she repeated what the news reporter was telling her.

            "Calm down, Lily!!  Stop worrying for now and come in here!"

            Lily sighed and turned off the television and walked into the kitchen.

            "Surprise!" Sirius cried.

            Lily gasped.  In front of her was a table with two glowing candles and two china plates, a bottle of champagne, and tiny wrapped box sitting next to her empty plate.  "Well, well, well.  If you weren't Sirius Black, then I might actually think that you could be romantic!"

            He laughed.  "I know I'm not James or anything and it's not the perfect, romantic, birthday dinner you were planning on having with James and today's not the perfect day that you wanted for your birthday, but you deserve a _very _happy_ birthday, Lily," he explained.  "You don't turn twenty-two every year."_

            Tears sprang to her eyes with happiness.  She did not expect _anything from Sirius that night except a birthday hug or whatnot.  And he was right, it wasn't the perfect, romantic birthday dinner with James…it was the perfect birthday dinner with _Sirius_.  "Awww…Sirius, you may not be James, but you're doing a very good job of making this a happy birthday," she said, walking over to him to give him a hug.  He kissed her on the cheek, and pulled out her seat for her._

            "Thanks for accompanying me on this wonderful evening, m'lady," he said laughing.

            "Okay, now _please tell me you didn't cook dinner!" Lily said with a grin._

            "No, you got lucky tonight," he said, laughing.  "Although, it's not going to be a…romantic dinner or anything either."

            "What's for dinner?" she asked curiously.

            "Uh…pizza?" he said, pulling out the boxes that were underneath the table.

            Lily burst out into uncontrollable laughter.  "Oh….my…God…" she said, in between laughs.  "Sirius, you're the best roommate a girl could ever ask for!" she cried out, grabbing a piece of pizza.  "Now sit down and eat," she said grinning.   

            "Well, I can't resist an order."

            "No you just can't resist _food," Lily said laughing._

            "How about you just open my gift?" Sirius suggested, changing the subject.  "Actually, it's mine _and _Vannie's gift, but I don't care if she didn't want you to open it without her here.  Because it's your birthday and you should get at least _one _gift today."

            "Sounds good to me," she said laughing.  She picked up the tiny box and took off the ribbon and the bow.  She unwrapped the sparkling silver paper, and finally opened the box.  Inside was a white-silver necklace with a lily in the center.

            She gasped.  "Oh, Sirius!"

            He grinned.  "I saw you looking at it in the jewelry store in Hogsmeade last month and I knew it would be perfect.  Savannah and I both agreed on buying it and we bought it together when she was here over Easter break."

            "Oh, Sirius, this is _so beautiful!  I…I don't really know what to say except thank you _so _much and I can't thank you enough."_

            "There's more to it, though," he said slowly.

            "Oh?  What do you mean?"

            "Whenever a loved one is in danger and is crying for your help, the lily glows a yellowish-orangish color to warn you."

            "What do you mean by loved one?  Friends, family, husband or wife, or just…boyfriend? " she asked, specifically speaking about James.

            "Well…mostly family, or husband or whatnot, but it only glows when your boyfriend is in trouble if you _really love him and you would go for the end of the earth for him…at least that's what the jeweler told me.  I figured it would be perfect for you and James."_

            Lily grinned up at him.  "It is.  Thank you again and-" she said, wrapping it around her neck, but she was too busy looking at the necklace to finish her sentence.  Sirius noticed it also.

            "Oh no," he muttered as they both watched it start to glow.

            Lily looked up at Sirius with fear and panic in her eyes and started breathing heavily.  "Oh, my, God.  I don't like this at all, Sirius."

            "I bet James is just out there slamming his fist into the wall wanting to send you a goddamn letter or call you or something."

            "That's not danger."

            "Yeah, but it's extreme love…and that's danger enough," Sirius teased, laughing.

            Lily cracked a smile.  "You were always the one who made everyone laugh, Sirius."

            "I know," he replied, and they both laughed, trying to get their minds off the necklace.

*~*~*~*~*

            Two days later, Lily was freaking out.  The necklace was _still glowing and she wasn't sure of what to do about her job in America.  _

            At about one o'clock in the afternoon, Sirius noticed that the necklace stopped glowing and was about to say something, but the phone rang.  Sirius and Lily looked up at each other in confusion.  They both knew that the only people who could reach them were the ministry or a muggle.  Now, considering neither one of them really knew any Muggles, besides Petunia who Lily doubted was calling her, they both were thinking the same thing: that maybe the ministry was calling them to give them bad news.

            "Oh, shit," Sirius muttered.  

            Lily drew in a breath, before picking up the receiver.  "Hello?" she said softly.

            "Lily!?  IS THAT YOU!?" the person on the other end shrieked, obviously with happiness.   

            "Uh…yeah.  Who is this?" she asked calmly.

            "It's me, Savannah!!" she cried.

            "**_WHAT!?_" she screamed, which was definitely freaking Sirius out who had no idea who she was talking to.**

            "Aren't you listening to the radio or watching the television??  The lock-down is over!"

            Lily shrieked with happiness and started jumping up and down, yet again freaking Sirius out…but in a good way.  "Are you fuckin' kidding me!?"

            Savannah laughed at what Lily said just as Sirius literally ran over to her and pulled on the cord of Lily's telephone like a five-year-old. "Not at all!" Savannah cried.  "The ministry and the Aurors at Sir Sephilia's office and Sir Friedburgh's office, in Scandinavia, tracked down you-Know-Who in Egypt today and sent him crawling back to Antarctica.  Unfortunately when they went to go look for him, he wasn't there and instead they realized he had drifted back to somewhere in Russia where he'll remain until he can get his strength back which will probably won't be for another ten years or so.  He's practically powerless and has disappeared!"

            "I-I can't believe it.  This is totally amazing!  I was waiting for this moment this whole damn week!" Lily cried.  Sirius was giving her weird looks, wondering why she was so ecstatic, but Lily waved him off.

            "I know!!!  I immediately picked up the phone once I heard to see if they were working, and sure enough the lock-down is officially over!!  I just wanted to call you guys to make sure _you _guys were okay and to tell you that…well, I'm fine."

            "Are you positive?  I heard you're school was on his list."

            Sirius was obviously about to kill himself with suspension, but Lily turned around while chuckling at him.

            There was a long pause on Savannah's side of the phone and Lily was about to ask her if she was still there, but Savannah finally spoke.  "We were hit."

            "Oh, no.  What happened?" Lily asked, before mentally hitting herself.  "No, that was a dumb question."

            "No, it's okay," Savannah said sighing.  "It just all seems…well, unreal to me.  I still can't believe he was just here last week.  In fact…well, my roommate here was a victim and if I wasn't at lunch at the time, I would've been a victim too.  It scares me, Lily.  But what scares me most is that I _saw him.  I saw him killing people that _I _knew!  People that I had just talked to moments before.  People that were my best friends there!!  My choral director—_the best damn professor I've ever had_—had died _right _in front of my own eyes.  I watched him suffer and knowing that I couldn't do anything to help him or anyone else freaks me out even more.  It __all completely freaked me out, Lily, and if I wasn't able to sneak out the back door and into the parking lot where I hid underneath cars with hundreds of other students and staff, I could've died, also.  It just scares me that I was so close to dying."_

            "Oh, don't say that.  It doesn't matter because you're fine.  And…I'm sorry.  I-I don't really know what else to say because I wasn't there, but it must have been terrible.  I can't tell you how it feels, but I'm just glad you weren't one of his victims," Lily soothed.  

            "Who's on the phone?" Sirius whispered, but Lily shooed him away.

            "I know…so am I.  Well, listen, I've got to go.  They're having an assembly in two minutes and I've got to be there.  I wish I could talk more, but if I'm late, then I won't get my degree until the summer, and I do not feel like spending my time here."

            "I understand," Lily said with a sigh of relief.

            "God, I wish I could talk to SI-Si now, but I really can't.  Tell Si-Si I miss him and that I wish I could talk to him now but I'll call back later tonight.  I love you, Lily!  Bye for now!"

            "Bye, hon. I'll talk to you later."

            Lily put back the receiver in its cradle and leaned against the wall and slouched down to the floor, trying to hide her ecstaticness.  "Oh, wow."

            "Okay, who was that?" Sirius demanded to know, slouching against the kitchen floor next to her.

            "You will never believe who that was.  You'll _never guess who had just called me," Lily said amazingly still in non-belief._

            "Big Bird!" he cried cracking a smile.  

            "Someone a _thousand times better than Big Bird."_

            "Oscar the grouch?"

            Lily laughed.  "No, you dolt!  Even better."

            "Okay, now I _know that's not possible."_

            Lily laughed.  "What about Savannah?  Is she any better than Oscar?"

            "_VANNIE__!?!?!" Sirius screamed.  "Yeah…I guess she's a __little better than Oscar."  Lily laughed as Sirius continued.  "Wait…how did she call??"_

            "The lock-down is over," Lily started, as she began the whole story of the lock-down being over and what Savannah said about her school and the deaths there.  "And she says she misses you and she'll call you later."

            "Oh, wow.  I can't believe it's _finally over.  I thought it would be a _lot _longer than this.  I'm just glad the ministry could've stopped him," Sirius said, suddenly freezing in place.  "Uh-oh," he muttered._

            "Uh-oh what?  What happened?" Lily asked with worry.

            "Um…you said that the Aurors at Sir Sephilia's office were tracking Voldemort down, right?" 

            "Yeah…so?"

            Sirius sighed again.  "Oh, no."

            "'Oh, no' what?" Lily asked curiously.

            "Uh…"

            "Sirius Black, you better tell me what's wrong this instant or I might have to hurt you."

            Sirius sighed. "I don't think he ever told you this—probably just forgot or something—but…uh…well, James got the job working in his office."

            Lily sat there gaping at Sirius as the breath was suddenly sucked out of her.  She sat there breathing heavily as the tears started filling up her eyelids.  "Oh, God."

            "I'm sure he's fine.  Since he's just a beginner there, maybe he didn't even go with them.  He's just begun his training."

            But Lily wasn't thinking about that.  She was thinking about the necklace.  "Sirius, when the lily stops glowing, what do you think that means?"

            Sirius had to stop and think about what she was saying at the moment, confused of why she changed the subject.  "Um…he's no longer in danger of course."

            Lily nodded.  "But…but what if it means something else…something worse?"

            "Like what?  And please to God don't say death, Lily Marie Evans.  You and I _both know that James is too damn strong and brave to have been killed by Voldemort in his first month of working with the Auror business."_

            Lily nodded.  "You're right, Sirius.  I'm…I'm just being paranoid," she explained, but unfortunately she couldn't help but be paranoid.

            She knew Sirius was just trying to comfort her, but a voice in the back of her mind was still telling her that James could still be out there…needing her right at the moment.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  

**A/N: **Okay, well another chapter finished and posted!  Hm…what's going to happen with James?  What's going to happen with Lily and her new job?  What's going to happen with the necklace?  Are Sirius and Lily going crazy for spending a whole week _together_?  Haha.  Stay tuned!!

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	8. Halfway 'Round the World

**Author's Note: Hey everyone!  Yes, yes, I'm _finally _back!  I have been able to get on the computer and get this uploaded and I know that the next chapter will be uploaded soon as well!  I'm sorry that it has been taking me so long, but thanks for putting up with me anyhow!  Well there's nothing else _I really need to say now, so let's just move on and start reading and enjoying!_**

**Disclaimer:  See previous chapters (because I'm sure you all know…)**

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER8: Halfway 'Round the World****

Written by Foxy  

          Three hours later, they still hadn't heard from James…or Remus, Kaitlynne, Allie, or Peter at that matter.  And unfortunately, Lily could not worry about them anymore, because she was going through with the move to California.  She didn't want to move to America at the moment, but Douglas Cowing had called her later that afternoon to explain the situation and he ended up making a decision that because the lock-down had substantially been _officially over for four hours, that the move and the job shall still proceed because the flight was nonrefundable…besides, he claimed, Lily wouldn't even have to start her job until Wednesday.  _

            Lily sat on the floor with a picture of her and James in one hand and a picture of Hogwarts graduation with all eight of them packed together tightly to fit in the picture.  Lily sighed, not realizing Sirius was standing behind her as a tear fell down her cheeks and onto the picture of her and James.

            "Lily," he said again this time putting his hand on her shoulder.

            She jumped a little and wiped away the tears quickly.  "Oh, hey Sirius."

            Sirius sighed.  "Lily, everything's going to be okay.  I'm sure that James is fine and that he's just busy with all of the finishing touches he has to do with the whole Auror business."

            "I'm not worried about that as much as I am about moving," Lily confessed.

            "What do you mean?"

            "It's just that…well, once I move, I realize that everything is going to be exactly how it was the past week.  And I'm afraid that it's just going to bring us all farther apart."

            "That's not going to happen unless you _want _it to happen, Lils."

            "How do you know?"

            "Because I'm not going to let it happen."

            Lily smiled and put the two picture frames on top of her other things in her suitcase.  "Okay, fine.  Let's just get this over with."

            Sirius laughed.  "Are you all packed?"

            "I think so," she said, scanning the room.  "No, wait."

            "What?"

            "Can I pack you with me?"

            Sirius laughed.  "No, I'm afraid not."

            "Then, yeah, I'm all packed," she said, sighing.

**_Time, sometimes the time just slips away_**

**_And you're left with yesterday_**

**_Left with memories_**

**_I'll always think of you and smile_**

**_And be happy for the time I had you with me_**

**_Though we go our separate ways_**

**_I won't forget so don't forget the memories we made_**

            Sirius gave her a reassuring smile and gave her a short, but sweet, hug.  "Lily, you're going to be an amazing publisher and you're going to have a great time in California.  Don't worry about anything else but that, okay?"

            "But-"

            "No, no buts."

            "But-"

            "Okay, you obviously aren't listening to me."

            "However-"

            "Hey!  That's just a fancy but!"

            "Sirius-"

            "Okay, I know you're just going to try to make a point, but don't."

            Lily sighed.  "Fine."

            "HEY!!!"

            "What?" she cried alarmed.

            "I don't know, I just felt like yelling."

            Lily laughed.  "Sirius, I'm never going to find anyone else in America who can make me laugh as much as you can."

            "Okay, don't you know yet that there is _no _one in the whole _world who is funnier than me?"_

            "Just funny?  Or funny-looking?"

            "Things are going to be so different without you around," Sirius confessed.

            "A.k.a. no dinner?"

            Sirius laughed.  "I'm being serious, Lily."

            She gasped.  "Oh no!!  Alert the media!!!"

            Sirius gave her an exasperated look.

            Lily felt a bit guilty.  "I'm sorry.  I-I just don't want to think about it."

            "I know but I'm really going to miss you, Lily."

            "I'm going to miss you more," she teased.

            "You can't forget me, either," he warned.

            "I'd _never forget you," Lily replied.  "You were the best roommate a girl could ask for."_

            Sirius blushed.  "Thanks."  

**_Please remember, please remember_**

**_I was there for you_**

**_And you were there for me_**

**_Please remember, our time together_**

**_The time was yours and mine_**

**_While we were wild and free_**

            "You always have to remember me, Sirius.  And not just _me _as a roommate, but me as a person.  I know we'll see each other, but it won't be the same.  I won't be coming home to a place where I know I can count on cracking a smile.  I won't be coming home to a place where I know will still be dirty unless you became so incredibly bored that you decided to dust the furniture…which happened once in a full moon.  Thanks Sirius…for everything," she whispered.

            "No, thank _you for making me who I am today.  If you weren't my roommate, I'd be a totally different person.  Thanks," Sirius whispered again, giving her a small, gentle hug, trying not to let the tears gathering up in the back of his eyes be noticed._

            Lily squeezed him tighter as a tiny tear fell down her cheek helplessly.

            Sirius smiled at her, and swiped his eyes lightly  "C'mon, we need to go, or else you're going to be late."

            "I'll be right down, Si," Lily said taking another glance around the room as Sirius grabbed two of her suitcases and started to bring them downstairs.

            Lily sat down in the empty room looking at her bed that was just a mattress at the moment, up to her desk that was a just a piece of wood with a chair in front of it towards her two wooden dressers that were completely cleared off and empty and her closet which was just two white doors, one half-open to reveal nothing but dust.

**_Good-bye, there's just no sadder word to say_**

**_And it's sad to walk away_**

**_With just memories_**

**_Who's to know what might have been_**

**_We'll leave behind a life and time_**

**_I'll never know again_**

            She tried not to make leaving a big deal, but she couldn't help but sniffle and cry a little.  I mean, her bedroom has been her home for the past three years.  The room gave her _many memories that she'll never forget.  The room was there when she needed to be alone.  The room was there when she needed a quiet place to read and rest.  The room was there when she needed a cozy place to bring her friends.  The room was there when she and James, or she and Savannah, or she and Remus, or she and Sirius needed some privacy away from the rest of the world.  The room was there when she needed to get the anger off of her chest.  The room was there when she needed comfort.  The room was there when she simply needed a place where she could cry her eyes out until she thought that there were no more tears inside of her.  The room was where she belonged._

            And then there was her house that belonged to her and Sirius for the last three years.  The house that was now just Sirius' and the house that she'd be leaving for God-knows-how-long.  The house where she could truly call home…up until now.  She descended down the stairs with her last suitcases and two big bags full of her stuff in her hands and her purse slung over her arm as she simply took one good look around, making it seem as if she'd never return again, even though she knew she'd be returning to celebrate Kaitlynne's birthday on August 3, and maybe even for a visit beforehand if she wasn't too busy.  

**_And how we laugh and how we smile_**

**_And how this friendship was yours and mine_**

**_And how a dream was out of reach_**

**_I stood by you, you stood by me_**

**_We took each day and made it shine_**

**_We wrote our names across the sky_**

**_We ride so fast, we ride so free_**

**_And I knew that you cared for me_**

            She walked towards the door where Sirius stood with a supportive smile on his face, taking the suitcase under his arms and one of the bags in his other arm as Lily turned around to face the house for one last look until next time. 

            She felt Sirius' hand on her neck, soothing her, but it just made her want to cry even more.  She sighed for the millionth time that evening and threw the last bag into the car.  She just wish that she could have apparated to California or gone by broomstick to make it quicker and to help ease the pain, but unfortunately she had too many bags and the arrangements were already made at the airport.

            Lily was about to climb into the car when both she and Sirius heard the telephone ring.  They looked at each other and Lily cried, "We have to get that!"

            "But what if you miss your flight?  You-"

            "I DON'T CARE!  I'M ANSWERING THE DAMN PHONE!" Lily cried laughing as she dropped her purse, screaming "_Alohomora!" towards the house lock, and scrambled for the kitchen telephone, completely out of breath.  "Uh…hello?"_

            "_Bonjour?  __Mademoiselle Mona?  Comment ca va!?  C'est moi, Monsieur Gaston!  __Sont-elle__-"_

            Lily sighed as more tears sprang to her eyes.  "I don't speak French!!" she said crossly. "You've got the wrong damn number," she cried, yelling at the person on the other line slamming down the receiver, when she knew it wasn't fair.  She was just angry that it wasn't James, Remus, Kaitlynne, Allie, or Peter.

            "A little harsh, don't you think?" Sirius asked with a grin.

            "Easy for _you to say.  Your girlfriend already called," Lily said, not trying to sound so mean, slumping down towards the floor._

            "Lily, I-"

            "Let's just go," Lily said, standing up and walking out towards the car.

            Sirius waited and watched her go out and sit in the car staring at the street the whole time before he walked out and got into the driver's side.  But he didn't put the keys in.  He turned towards Lily, who turned away and looked back at the house.

            "Lily, please just-"

            "Sirius, I just…" she started full of sorrow.  She sighed before continuing.  "I just don't want to think about it."

            "Think about what?"

            "I don't want to think about James or America or my job or You-Know-Who or the lock-down or whatnot.  I just want a nice, peaceful drive to the airport as if I was going on vacation or something.  I'm just tired of everyone being sympathetic or unhappy or angry around here.  I don't want that and I sure don't need it.  Please, Sirius, just drive."

            Sirius hesitated before nodding and granting her wish.  He put the keys in the ignition and started out of the driveway.

            "Good-bye Alphamstone," she whispered so Sirius couldn't hear her.  "Good-bye…home."

            And even though she tried to get him out of her head, James was the only thing she cared about right at that moment.

Halfway 'round the world 

_Doesn't stop me from loving you_

_Halfway 'round the world_

_Can't keep me from feeling the way I do_

_I want to hold you baby_

_'Cuz I'm gonna miss you like crazy_

_Even if I'm halfway 'round the world _

*~*~*~*~*

            "Um…do I know you?" Andy said, answering the door Tuesday night to a stranger.

            "Um…does Lily Evans live here?"

            Andy nodded.  "Yeah, she lives here.  And who are you?"

            "I'm Remus.  I-"

            "Remus!!" Lily cried, coming to the door to give her visitor a hug.  "Oh, my gosh!  I'm so glad to see you!"

            Remus grinned, and embraced her tightly.  "I know.  I'm really glad to see you, too, Lily.  It feels like it has been forever."

            Lily nodded.  "I know."

            "Happy Birthday, by the way."

            "Aww, thanks," Lily said, giving a quick kiss on the cheeks.  "So, how'd you find me here!?"

            Remus laughed.  "Kaitlynne told me."

            "What?  _Kaitlynne?"_

            "Yeah.  She and I were stuck together during the lock-down."

            "What??  Why were you two together?" Lily asked suspiciously.

            He laughed.  "I was at her hotel last week after finishing an early lunch with her when we heard the news."

            "Why didn't you call us yesterday!?"

            "Because I went back to my place to see if Peter was there, which he wasn't, so we went to Allie's for a little while…and we ended up staying the night," he said sighing.

            "You don't sound so happy about that."

            "I'm not," he said sadly.

            "Oh, no.  What happened?"

            "Josh."

            Lily gasped.  "What happened!?!?"

            "We don't know.  He goes to London Arts University of Witchcraft and Wizardry which was unfortunately struck by You-Know-Who and Allie hasn't heard anything from him since the lock-down." 

            "Oh, no," Lily said full of desperation.  "Is she okay?"

            "Not really."

            "I wish I could do something..."

            "But your job starts tomorrow, right?"

            "Yeah," she said glumly.

            "It's alright.  I just wanted to tell you.  If you can, try to get to Allie's on the weekend or something if we haven't heard from him.  She'd appreciate all the support she can get and I'll keep in touch."

            "What else have you heard?"

            "Well, actually Minnie Juniper, remember her?"

            "Yeah," Lily said.  "Uh-oh.  What happened with her?"

            Remus chuckled.  "Nothing yet, but she goes to the same school as Josh."

            "Oh, no."

            "Yeah, I think Kaitlynne or Allie are going to try to get in touch with Daniel and see what's going on with that."

            "Okay."

            "Yeah, so that's all I know."

            Lily nodded again.  "Hold on…why'd you come _here, though?  Why not Alphamstone?"_

            "I did at first and I thought _you'd still be there, but when I went looking for you and Sirius this afternoon, I found an empty house…__literally.  Sirius wasn't there and neither was any of __your stuff.  So I figured you'd be here.  And Kaitlynne gave me this address last week so I decided to come here instead."_

            Lily nodded.  "What about Sirius?  Where was he?"

            Remus laughed.  "Funny story actually.  I went back to my apartment to see if Peter was back yet and there he was…with _Sirius_.  So, actually I had a chance to ask him if you were here.  And that all happened about thirty minutes ago before I apparated here."

            Lily nodded again, understanding it all…except for one thing.  "Um…have you heard from…" but she stopped due to the lump in her throat.

            "James?" he asked, and Lily nodded with agreement.  "No," Remus sighed.  "_No _one has but I'm betting he's still at the Auror office, straightening everything out and making sure You-Know-Who isn't coming back for any reason."

            Lily sighed, figuring that was the answer she was going to get.  "Okay."

            "Don't worry about it, Lils.  I actually have to leave in five minutes, but I came here to drop off your birthday gift," he said with a wink, giving her a wrapped present, which happened to be a pair of emerald green dress robes that she had wanted for a long time.  

            "Awww, thanks Remus.  They're beautiful. And maybe I'll see you over the weekend if I have time to get out to England."

            Remus smiled.  "I'll keep in touch," he said, before apparating back to England.

            "Was that a friend?" Andy asked, coming up behind her, making her jump a little.

            Lily laughed.  "Yeah.  He just came by to talk to me about the lock-down, which I'm sure you heard of."

            "Oh, definitely.  I get a few wizardry channels here and a bunch of my friends are wizards," he explained.  "And it did not look good.  I hope everyone that you know is okay."

            Lily just nodded, not sure as to what to say at this point.  _Oh, well my boyfriend could be dead somewhere and this guy that used to be my enemy but is now my friend's husband could be dead and this snobby, know-it-all prick could be dead as well.  Oh, and there's nothing I can do about any of that, but you know, everything's great!!  So Lily just said nothing._

*~*~*~*~*

            The next few days were hectic for Lily, but at the same time they were great.  She started her job early the next morning, still preoccupied with thoughts of James, but when she walked into the _Random House for Wizardry building, she immediately forgot everything else except for publishing.  She couldn't wait to get started, and after being showed around and after meeting her boss and her fellow workers and after being told what to do, she started doing small odd jobs for Dr. Rhonda Fleischer, her boss.  The whole week was fun and she immediately fell in love with her job and with her co-workers.  _

            Unfortunately, the nights were a different story.

_Angel, I can feel it's not you_

_Angel, I wish it were not true_

_And as I walk to the beat of my heart inside_

_I feel like letting go_

_Oh darling, in my dream, you'll be tonight_

            Every night she'd go to bed hoping that a letter would appear for her or a phone call would be made just so she could know that James was okay…unfortunately, for the next five days, it was exactly the opposite.  Everything was quiet and _none of her friends had heard anything about him.  She would take a last glance at the picture beside her bed of him before turning off the light and would cry herself to sleep every night holding on to the necklace Sirius and Savannah gave her._

_Oh Mr. Postman_

_Give me a sign_

_Tell me you've a letter, to make me feel fine_

_Oh don't you know I am waiting here for you_

_Tell me it will be here tonight_

          On _very _early Sunday morning, May 30, two days before Lily and James' one-year anniversary, she had received a phone call from Sirius at two in the morning. It disturbed and woke up both her and Andy, but she knew it wasn't good if Sirius Black was up before ten o'clock in the morning, which she figured he was considering the time differences.  

            "Lily?  Um…Savannah called me a few minutes ago."

            "Yeah?" Lily said, barely audible and still groggy.

            "Um…" he muttered.

            Lily was now fully awake.  "Oh, no.  What happened, Sirius??" 

            He sighed.  "This is really hard to say."

            "Oh, God," she whispered breathlessly.  "Just tell me and get it over with."

            He sighed again.  "Lily…Twenty-two out of thirty-four Aurors in Sir Sephilia's office died trying to protect the world from You-Know-Who, and seven of the eleven alive are all of the advanced Aurors, including Sir Sephilia and his Senior Advisor, Sir Raoul Torrington.  They won't reveal the names of the living to us yet, but…well, I just wanted to tell you that a.s.a.p. before you found out from somebody else."

            Lily didn't say anything back as she tried to hold in all the tears and unhappiness that was built up inside of her.  She leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor as the tears rolled down her cheek and as she sobbed into the phone.

            "We're here for you, Lily," Sirius said softly before hanging up the phone and giving Lily some time and privacy.  She immediately wished that she could go back to England to see Sirius and Savannah and all of her friends, and she might have if she didn't have work to do later that morning.

            That night, Sunday night that is, she had a sinking feeling at the bottom of her stomach that he wasn't ever coming back.  And she couldn't help thinking about what a lousy anniversary it was.  She didn't want to admit it, but every time they got close to a one-year anniversary, something always happened to prevent it and she never expected death to be a factor.

            She tried to stop thinking about it, but that made it worse and everywhere she went she would see his face and see his memories.  That night she didn't cry herself to bed or even shed one tear for him.  She held the picture frame in her arms, and silently prayed that everything was working out for him wherever he was…in heaven, she thought not saying it out loud.  She slowly took out the picture from the frame and said softly, "I love you James, but if I can't have you here…I don't want any of you," and with that she slowly ripped up the picture and threw the pieces into the trash, making most of the pieces just scatter across the floor around the waste basket.  She thought she'd be bawling by then but instead she stared at the empty picture frame and sat on the floor for hours, just thinking of all of their memories together.  She woke up the next morning still sitting on the floor and still in the clothes she had on the day before.  

            She didn't tell Andy anything, even though he could sense something was wrong.  Savannah, Sirius, Kaitlynne, Peter and Remus had all called her Monday morning, but Lily shook her head at Andy when he offered the phone to her. 

            That evening she had an interview with her new internship manager, and had tried to put away all of the thoughts of James for that one evening so she wouldn't seen distracted, and it somewhat worked until Mrs. Goldman, her manager, had asked her what she missed most about England.

            "Oh…" Lily said.  "Um…I-I don't really know.  My…er…friends, I guess," Lily said, trying not to cry.

            "Oh, anyone in particular?"

            _Yes, _Lily thought, as the tears sprang to her eyes.  "Not really," she lied instead. 

            She went back to Andy's apartment—it was still too hard to call it her home at the time—on Saturday night in a strange, awkward mood, and walked in to find five strangers sitting around the living room drinking and laughing.

            "Um…hello?" she said with a confused smile. 

            "Oh, hey, Lily," Andy said.  "I would've told you about this, but I didn't know until about thirty minutes ago that they'd be here," he explained, laughing.  Lily grinned at him, and at them all.

            "Okay, you did _not tell us you had another _woman _roommate," one of the guys said who was by far the tallest (and the cutest, she noted), about six feet two inches, with cute blonde spiked hair, very muscular and had the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen.  He winked at her.  "And you never mentioned she was cute either."_

            Lily laughed, realizing it felt good to laugh after not laughing for a whole day.  "I'm taking that as a compliment."

            "You should," he said, winking again.

            Andy rolled his eyes.  "That's Shane Taylor."

            "Nice to meet you," he said with a welcoming smile.

            Andy pointed to another guy, who was leaning against the wall with a beer in his hand who looked older than the rest with dark hair and dark chocolate brown eyes.  "That's Brett McAlester."

            "Hi," he simply said, giving her a strange look as if he knew her already.

            "That's Brad Holton," Andy said, pointing to a guy with spiked brown hair and brown eyes.

            "Hey," he said with a warm smile.

            "That's Erik Bremmington," Andy said pointing a guy with red, curly hair and green eyes and who was obviously older than her and Andy, and he smiled at Lily.

            "And I'm Callie Bremmington," the only woman in the room, besides Lily, said.  She was short with long, straight golden-blonde hair and she somewhat reminded her of Savannah, though definitely a little older. 

            "And this is Lily Evans," Andy introduced.

            "Wait, did you go to Hogwarts?" Brett asked.

            Lily nodded, surprised that he even knew about it.  "Um…yeah."

            "That's where I know you from.  I went to Hogwarts my last two years of wizardry school.  Weren't you friends with the Marauders?"

            Lily nodded as it made her think of James, but she immediately pushed him out of her mind, just wanting to have a good time.  "Yeah.  Still am."

            "Really?  That's awesome.  I never really got to know anyone there and right after graduation I moved out here to work at my father's company, where I met Shane and Erik who knew Andy…and I, of course, met Callie through Erik.  She kinda came out of nowhere…too bad she's still not there," Brett teased laughing.

            "Yeah, well at least I'm married happily and you're still living in that dump you call a home," Callie shot back, laughing.

            "Hey, at least I'm not living _with the dump," Brett fired back nodding at Erik, and they all laughed, including Lily._

            "One of my good friends is Andy's cousin, who also attended Hogwarts," Lily explained to Brett.

            "Which one? Vera, Jacob, or Kaitlynne?" he asked.

            "Kaitlynne."

            "Oh, good.  I like her best anyway," he said, and they all laughed.

            "Which is why you dated Vera for two months?" Shane said with a half-smile.

            "Yeah…terrible mistake," Brett said with a laugh, which made them all laugh.

            "Okay, so you're probably wondering why they are all here, but we're just celebrating Brett's birthday, which was actually yesterday," Andy explained. 

            "Oh, happy birthday," Lily said to Brett.

            "Thanks," he said with a grateful smile and a wink.

            "Lily's birthday was last weekend," Andy informed.

            "Oh, happy birthday!" they all cooed, and Lily couldn't help but blush for some unapparent reason.

            "So how long have you been in California?" Brad asked Lily.

            "Since about…very, _very early Tuesday morning, like three o'clock or whatnot," she explained._

            "Oh, not that long, then," Shane said.

            Lily shook her head.  "Not at all.  I got a job at _Random House for Wizardry and I started on Wednesday, and I was glad that Kaitlynne had told me that Andy needed a roommate.  And here I am."_

            "I work at _Random House, also," Callie said.  "What division do you work under?"_

            "Publishing with Dr. Rhonda Fleischer."

            "Oh.  I worked there for a year before I moved up on the Board with Dr. Fred Severns as my boss now."

            "Really?" Lily said, truly interested.

            "Okay, is it just me or is this starting to sound really boring?" Brad asked faking a yawn, and they all laughed.

            "Well, I'm sorry that we're more advanced than you technology junkies," Callie teased, and she and Lily roared with laughter.

            "I don't think we're wanted," Brett commented.

            "I think you're right, Brett," Brad said.

            Callie whispered to Lily conspiratorially loud enough for them all to hear "These five should have been rocket scientists.  Nothing gets by them."

            Erik's mouth was playfully agape.  "I think she just insulted us."

            "I think you're right, Erik," Shane said.

            "See what I mean?" Callie said, nodded as if her point were proven.  "Rocket scientists."  And they all laughed simultaneously just as there was a knock on the door.

            "Hmm…I wonder who that is?" Andy thought out loud, just as Lily stood up to grab a beer from the kitchen.

            "I'll get it," Andy offered, placing down his beer and walking towards the door.  The person knocked again, and Andy yelled impatiently, "Hold on!  I'm coming!"

            He opened the door slightly so that the door was hiding everyone in the room from the person at the door and he saw someone who looked vaguely familiar, but he still didn't know who it was.  "Um…can I help you?"

            "Does Lily Evans live here?"

            "Uh…yeah.  And who are you?"

            "A friend," the person said smugly. "Is she in now?  I really need to talk to her."

            "Yeah, she's here," Andy said, opening the door further.

            "Thanks, Andy," the person said, walking into the room to see six other people there drinking and laughing and playing around.  "Oh…hello."

            Andy didn't even realize that the person said his name until Brett pointed it out.  "How did that person know your name?"

            Andy stood there stunned.  "I-I don't know.  I don't know who that was."

            "Okay, this is just too horror film-like for me," Erik complained.

            "How is this like a horror film?" Shane asked with a smirk.

            "Oh, come on.  _Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer?  _They were stalkers!" he cried, laughing.  _[a/n:  okay, I know these movies didn't come out until the nineties, but I didn't feel like looking up the names of horror movies that were shown in theater before the eighties! __J_] __

            "Why did I ever marry you?" Callie wondered, grinning at him.

            This is when Lily got her head out of the refrigerator and turned around to go back towards the living room, figuring that another one of Andy's friends was going to be there, but instead she dropped the beer bottle in shock, making it spill all over and shatter into a thousand little piece and she gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth.

            The 'stalker' was about to say something, but when he opened his mouth he found that he couldn't talk.  But they both found that they didn't need words to describe what had just happened.

            Lily literally jumped over the kitchen chair to get to the person.  "James!" she gasped, before pulling him into a long, gratifying hug where they both ended up shedding a few tears for each other and there they stood in each other's arms, not talking, not moving, not making a sound except for an occasional sniffle, and yet…completely satisfied.

**Author's Note (and disclaimer…)**: Yay!!!  James is back!!!!!  But what happened to Minnie?  Hm….and what is _going _to happen between Remus and Kaitlynne?  Hm…oh and those three songs didn't belong to me.  "Please Remember," is by LeeAnn Rimes.  "Halfway 'Round the World," is by A-Teens (don't ask how I know this song…).  "Oh, Mr. Postman," is by B*Witched (again, don't ask…).  Also, those movies I mentioned weren't mine (but you probably knew that!).  There was a line from _FRIENDS _also, that's not too obvious but it isn't mine. There was a conversation in there that was from a Nicholas Sparks book.  If anyone can guess which part of my story is from that book and guess that book, I'll add your name(s) into the next chapter!!  I hope you enjoyed and pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez R/R!!!


	9. But is He Really Back?

**A/N: **Yay!  A new chapter is finally up.  I'm sorry this took so long but we got a new lab top computer and it took a while to set everything up (it's my labtop) so I couldn't get all of my files, including this one.  But it's here and I'm ready to start posting more often than I have in that past!  Yay!!!  Thanks to all of you who reviewed, and there are a loooooooooot more chapters on the way.  I'm sorry if you don't like looooong chapter-fics, but I already know that this one should be over thirty chapters long (I've already written the chapters up with a sense that I know what I want to happen…)  Anyhow, moving on to the story!!  

**Oh, I don't particularly like how this chapter came out, but please review and tell me what I could have done to make it better!

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill.  Just see the previous chapters…

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER** 9: But is He Really Back?******

Written by Foxy  

            "But the only thing that was running through my mind was the fact that I had never gotten the chance to tell you that Sir Sephilia had let me into his Auror program.  I refused to die without telling you the whole truth."

            Lily sniffled and hugged him close to her.  "Oh, James, I love you so much.  I don't care if you hadn't told me.  I'm just glad you're back."

            "I love you, too, Lily," James murmured, kissing her passionately on the lips.

            "But where were you for the past week?" Lily asked, after they pulled apart.  "No one could get a hold of you!"

            "Let me start from the beginning.  I was trailing right behind Voldemort for about four days when our cover was blown by his death-eaters.  I was captured, along with almost everyone else.  I was close to dead…but I knew I couldn't let you or Sirius or Remus or Savannah or Peter or my parents or everyone else I knew down.  It was a tough battle, but Alastor Moody devised a plan for us to escape and him and a few other Aurors at Sephilia's office were given the chance to get away quickly and quietly.  We got back to the tent and we told Sephilia where he was hiding, hoping it wasn't too late.  Well, we caught him and sent him crawling back to Iceland, actually.  Because there were only a few of us left, Sir Sephilia needed all the help he could get this past week and we've been under cover, hidden away, and away from the death-eaters so I couldn't call you or write to you.  I was so scared that you guys thought I was gone," James explained.

            Lily sniffled.  They were in her room now, sitting on her bed just talking about everything that had happened in the past two weeks.  "We did.  The moment I heard that more than half of the Aurors had died on duty, I had this sickening feeling in my stomach.  I couldn't deal with it."

            "As I can see," he muttered bitterly.

            "What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked crossly.

            "Huh?" he asked innocently.  "Oh…nothing."

            "No, tell me what you meant by that."

            James sighed.  "It's just that…well, I did _not _expect you to be hanging out with a bunch of friends the day after you heard about my mission and the consequences."

            "_What?  _First of all, they weren't my friends.  I didn't even know they were going to be here!  They were just celebrating Brett's birthday," Lily explained.

            "Brett?" he asked with an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

            "Yes, _Brett," she answered harshly._

            "Yeah, well if they were Andy's friends why were you hanging out with them?"

            "Because I needed a good laugh and just to relax and have a good time."

            "A good time?" James questioned.  "I'll just bet you had a good time.  I couldn't help but notice there were more males than females," he mumbled under his breath.

**_It's just one more day_**

**_No one said there would be pain again_**

**_Won't blame it on myself_**

**_I'll blame it on the jealous man_******

            "So?  Are you accusing me of going behind your back?" Lily demanded.

            "If you thought I was dead, you wouldn't necessarily be going behind my back," James pointed out.

            "Oh, so instead, you think that the day after I find out that the man that I love could be dead I would start dating someone else?"

            "I don't know," James said, shrugging.  

**_Get away for a while_**

**_Here I am out on my own again_**

**_Won't blame it on myself_**

**_I'll blame it on the jealous man_**

            "Oh, jeez, James.  I'm not _that _stupid!!  And stop being so goddamn jealous and learn to trust me!"

            "I do trust you!"

            "Well, then why are you accusing me of dating other guys when I'm still dating you?"

            "Hey, it happened before, Lily, if you have forgotten," James said angrily.

            Lily's expression on her face turned from bitterness to hurt.  "I can't believe you just brought that up, James.  And besides you _know _that it wasn't my fault."

**_Standing in the room_**

**_Calling out your name_**

**_I was here before_**

**_I could see your face_**

            "How was it _not your fault!?"_

            "_We were on a break_!!!!!!!" Lily screamed. _[a/n: I know, I know.  _**Friends**_.__  I love that show, what can I say? _J___]   "You said you needed a break so I figured we weren't dating!!" Lily exploded, and she knew that everyone in the other room could hear them but at that moment she didn't care.  ___

"Ugh, forget it.  Whatever," he muttered.

            "Oh, and I hate to mention it…no, strike that—I'd _love _to mention it, that I'm not the only one to blame in that situation!  _YOU _have cheated on me _three times, _James Potter!  So don't scream at me for cheating on you _once_, when I didn't even _cheat _on you!!  I thought that we could go celebrate your returning, but all you care about is who I've hung out with tonight?  That is the biggest load of crap I have _ever heard!!  I can't believe you could be so goddamned shallow!!  But, whatever, James.  I hope you have a _happy _life without me because I don't need any of this jealousy crap right at the moment, __especially from you!." Lily screamed, jumping off of the bed and walking towards the door._

**_Only clouds will see_**

**_Tears are in my eyes_**

**_Empty like my heart_**

**_Why do you say good-bye?_**

**_The pain goes on_**

            "Don't run away from this, Lily Evans, like you've done in the past!" James cried.

            "I'm not running away from _anything, James Potter.  I'm simply facing the fact that my boyfriend, no _ex_-boyfriend, doesn't seem to want to trust me and thinks that he can control my life.  Well, you're wrong, James and I don't any of your love vs. jealousy act right now.  Let me live my own life in America, and you go back to England and live your life there…__away from me," she snapped at him, before charging towards the door in complete anger and frustration.  "We're two different people in two different places.  Just leave it at that."_

**_Alone I can hear_**

**_Hear our song_**

**_Playing for me again_**

**_Won't blame it on myself_**

**_Just blame it on the jealous man_**

            "No, Lily, wait," James started.

            "Wait for _what?  You to accuse me something again!?"_

            "No, I-"

            Before leaving the room, she turned around to face James.  "You know, it always seems like whenever we're close to that one-year mark, we become a little too overprotected of each other. We run and hide from the damn truth, and find an excuse to make space between us…this time there's no need for an excuse," she explained sadly.  "Happy Anniversary, James," she said barely audible before leaving her room and walking out of the apartment, not even looking at the six other people in the living room when she passed by them.  She just wanted to get out of there and think things over.

**_The pain goes on and on again_**

**_The suffering will always stand_**

**_The agony goes on with this man_**

**_I'll blame it on the jealous man _**

****

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Yeah, Happy Anniversary to you, too," James said softly.  "And Happy Birthday," he added.  He stood up and was about to leave the room when he saw a bunch of ripped up pieces of paper sprawled about the garbage and realized that it was his—and Lily's—favorite picture of them two.  Tears of hurt, plus sorrow, filled his eyelids when he realized she had already ripped it up before he got there.  He sat there, realizing that Lily was right: they had always become too overprotected and ran from the truth when it came to their one-year anniversary.  

            He sighed, and walked out of the room where he saw everyone staring at him.  "Hey," he said to the strangers in the apartment.

            "Um…hi?" Shane said, still confused as to who it was.

            "So, you and Lily had _still been together after the last time I saw you?" Andy asked, knowing that it was James Potter who was standing in the living room._

            "Not exactly.  We've been off and on and have only truly been serious since last June…but I guess that's over," he explained, and Andy had suddenly remembered when Lily had vaguely told him about that before.  "But you heard all about that, I'm sure," James said pointing out that they had probably overheard their argument. 

            They all looked sheepish.  "I'm sorry," Callie sympathized, not about to pretend like she didn't hear their yells.

            "Don't be.  It was my fault for being so stupid.  But I think she's right.  We need space from each other.  We just need time to calm down and to get settled into our new lives.  It's all for the best," James explained, using the famous line of Sirius and Savannah even though he didn't believe that from one second.

            Andy nodded.  "She's one heck of a woman.  Don't let her go," he said, before James left the apartment and apparated back to London.  

            James' first and only priority was to see Lily, and now that he had done that, which ended up being traumatic, he didn't find any real need in going to see any of his other friends, even though he knew he should, considering they were all probably worried about him.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Si-Si, are we going to Allie's tomorrow or are we not?" Savannah asked.

            He sighed.  "I guess so.  I…I just don't want any more bad news," he explained.

            Savannah grabbed his arm and pulled him down to the couch, where she cuddled into his arms.  "Honey, if it is bad news, which I bet it's not, wouldn't it be better to be there with Allie than to be here sulking by ourselves?"

             "Why are you so smart?" he asked her, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

            "Because someone in this relationship has to be," she joked.

            "Hey!" he cried, and they both laughed. 

            "Oh, and Kaitlynne called earlier when you were upstairs and she says that if it's okay that she'll probably move in next Wednesday."

            "That's perfect.  Only I wish it were you who was moving in," he said winking.

            "Didn't we already talk about this," she teased.  "If Kaitlynne gets that job in Australia, and I move back to England after my last year at college, then I'll move in with you, you bozo," she said laughing,

            "You better," he replied with a grin, just as the phone rang.  "Okay, I need to get that."

            "Okay," she said, without getting up and grinning at him.

            "You are _not helping," he said with a smile as it rang again.  "Fine, but you asked for it."  He started to tickle her and she squirmed away from him and on to the ground just as the phone rang and there was knock at the door._

            "I'll get the door, you get the phone," she said still laughing. 

            She walked to the door and opened it and gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth.  "Oh…my…God…" she whispered, as she flung her arms around James' neck just as he put his arms around her waist.

            "Oh, it's good to see you again," James whispered to her, as the tears sprang to her eyelids already.

            "I can't believe you're actually…_here," she cried, instead of saying 'alive.'_

            "I know," he whispered.

            "Who is it!?" Sirius cried from the kitchen, obviously still on the phone.

            Savannah grinned and let go of him.  She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the kitchen.

            Sirius dropped the phone.

            "Hey," James said with a slight grin.

             Sirius stood there agape and then did something that he's never done to James in his whole lifetime of being friends with him (not including graduation) and walked over to him and gave him a hug.  Both James and Savannah were surprised, but James returned it gratefully and Savannah smiled at them…until she heard a scream from the phone.  They all laughed, and Savannah ran to pick it up as James went on to explain the whole story to Sirius.

            "Hello?" she said.

            "**_SIRIUS_?" the person cried.**

            Savannah laughed.  "No, it's Savannah."

            "Savannah? Savannah _Turner?" the unfamiliar voice said. _

            "Um…yeah.  Who is this?"

            "It's Daniel Marx."

            "Danny!!" she squealed.  "How are you?"

            He sighed.  "Not so good."

            "Oh, no.  What happened?"

            "I'm not sure.  Josh Matthews just called me and-"

            "_What_!?" she cried.

            "Huh?"

            "Josh Matthews??  He's alive!?" she squealed.

            "Yeah!" he said happily.  "I thought you knew."

            "Now I do!"

            "But he can't reach Allie, so I'm not sure what's up with that."

            "Oh…hmmm…that's strange.  I figured she'd stay in the house with the phone open until he called," she thought out loud.

            "Yeah, I thought so too," he said.  "Well, Sirius called me yesterday morning to ask me if I've heard anything on Minnie, and today Josh called me to tell me that ever since He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had hit their school, that he hadn't seen her anywhere."

            Savannah sighed.  "Oh, no.  Well, I'm sure she's okay somewhere, Daniel, and don't worry about it.  In fact, if you want, Sirius and I could pop by later tomorrow."

            "Oh, would you?  That would be so nice of you," he said, extremely grateful.  "My house has been pretty lonely since the lock-down and it would be nice to see you again."

            "Okay, we'll stop by tomorrow," she agreed.  "I'll talk to you later." And she hung up the phone and returned to Sirius' and James' conversation.

            "What about Lily?" Sirius asked.  "Did you go see her?"

            James sighed, as Savannah took a seat next to him.  "Yeah," was his plain and simple answer.

            "What was her reaction?" Savannah asked.

            "She broke up with me," he replied after deciding just to tell them instead of hide it.

            "_WHAT!?!?_" both Savannah and Sirius cried incredulously.

            James couldn't help but laugh at their reaction.  "It's a long story, but…in the end, we got into a huge argument and she broke up with me."

            Both Savannah and Sirius were speechless.  "But…your anniversary is tomorrow!" Savannah blurted out, before covering her mouth, realizing it was a stupid thing to say as Sirius glared at her.  

            "I know," he sighed.  "It seems like we always do something stupid and break up before we get to our one-year anniversary.  Lily mentioned it, but it always seems like we're hiding from something or we're running from something."

            "I'm sorry, James," Savannah said, really thinking about apparating to Lily's at the moment and wondering what the heck Lily was thinking.

            "I-I don't know.  It just felt so…real.  I mean, we've dated before obviously, but the last year was different.  It really felt like sooner or later we'd get married or something.  Obviously, I was wrong."

            "No, you weren't," Savannah said unexpectedly.  

            "What?" James said confused.

            "Huh?" Sirius asked, bewildered.

            "Lily's obviously going through a selfish stage or whatnot," Savannah said angrily, surprising herself more than Sirius and James, who were definitely taken aback.

            "Whoa…" Sirius said.  "Savannah, you-"

            "No, let me finish," she said firmly.  "I don't know what you or she did to cause this, but I know nothing could have brought you two apart again.  You two _are going to be the first of all of us who get married and you two __are going to be the first two to have a baby," she said even more firmly.  _

            "Is that a demand or an order?" Sirius said with a slight grin.

            "It's a _command," she said without smiling._

            James looked at her a little strangely, but realized she was just saying it because she that's what she believed in.  He wasn't so sure anymore.  Disregarding what she was saying, he only said, "Listen, I've got to get back to school, and I have to go by broomstick, so I have to leave now.  I'll write you guys," and he stood up and headed for the door.

            "_JAMES_!" Savannah snarled rolling her eyes at him, and throwing her hands up into the air, which made him whirl around again.

            "What?" he asked facing innocence.

            "You just got here!" she cried.  "Besides, you have a story to tell us!"

            James sighed.  "I-I really don't want to talk about it.  It was probably my fault anyhow." 

            "You are _so right!" she cried again, jumping out of her chair._

            "I am?" he asked, slinking away slowly, now deathly afraid of her.

            "You _are running from her…or from love at least," she cried disturbed.  "I don't know why and I don't _care _why, but don't sit there and actually expect me to believe that Lily is to blame for everything," she accused._

            "WHOA!  HOLD IT!  Are you actually standing there lecturing to me about _my love life and defending your best friends when you don't even know what happened!?!?"_

            "You bet your ass I'm doing just that!" she yelled.  "I already told you, I don't care what happened but…I know Lily more than I know you, and I _know that you're both just hiding something; afraid to admit that you're falling into a bigger commitment than you two thought, is what I'm guessing."_

            "I'm not afraid to admit to anything!" James cried, in total disbelief that Savannah was accusing him of something she knew nothing of.

            "Yes you are!  You just don't know it!  And-"

            "SHUP UP!" James screamed at her, afraid he was going to hit her in any second.  His eyes and ears were steaming up and if looks could shoot bullets, then Savannah would be one big hole.  "I thinkI know a little more about my relationship than a snot-nosed, little, spoiled brat like _you _knows about it so why don't you just mind your own damn business and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!"  And with his final words, he stomped out of the house.

            "I HOPE YOU DIDN'T YELL THAT AT LILY, BECAUSE IF YOU DID, _IT'S OBVIOUS WHY SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU_!!!!!!!!!" Savannah cried after him as he slammed the door in her face.  She fell to the kitchen chair and sighed.  "Oh, God."

            "Well, that went well," Sirius finally spoke.

            Savannah said nothing as she sat in her chair with her head in her hands realizing she shouldn't have said anything.

**A/N: **REVIEW!!!  (That's all I've got to say…)  That song was by B*Witched, but my own little version of it! (I changed it around a little…)


	10. Out of the Loop

**A/N: **Hey, I'm baaaaaack!  Okay, not much to say here except that I now know how to work my computer!  So everything is gong to be good!  More updates!  Yay (be happy!)!!  Anyhow, thanks to those who reviewed, and let's move on to the story!!  

**Disclaimer:** See previous chapters (I'm too lazy to write anything longer…) 

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER10: Out of the Loop

Written by Foxy

            The next morning, Savannah and Sirius apparated to Daniel and Minnie's house in Godric's Hollow and were surrounded by hundreds of people they didn't even know.  Luckily Sirius spotted Josh and Allie talking to a group of young-looking people about the same age as them and they walked over to where they all were.

            "Allie!" Savannah cried, giving her a hug.  Savannah turned to Josh and punched him lightly on the shoulder.  "How could you make me worry about Allie like that??"

            "Oh, so you don't worry about _me, you worry about __Allie," Josh said rolling his eye with a silly grin on his face.  He and Savannah both knew that they never really liked each other much in Hogwarts, but things have changed.  If Allie could find the good deep down inside of Josh, then so could Savannah (she hoped…).   Savannah and Josh both wanted to forget their differences._

            "Weren't you the one who made fun of me graduation night for breaking up with Sirius?" Savannah smirked.

            Josh laughed.  "Oops?  Yeah, but you were the one who made my pants fall down in the middle of my speech at dinner that night!"

            They all laughed.  "Oops?" she mimicked.

            "Okay, okay, okay.  We're even," Josh said.  "Friends?"

            Savannah grinned.  "Fine, but no more making fun of me…besides I'm dating Si-Si now."

            He groaned.  "_Again_?" he said.  Savannah gave him a look.  "I mean…great!!!"  They all laughed again.

            "Um…so why is everyone crowded in this tiny house today…everyone meaning people I don't even know?"  Sirius dared to ask.

            Josh and Allie exchanged awkward glances.  "Y-You don't know?"

            "Didn't know what?" Savannah asked slowly, afraid of what was coming next.

            "We just came by because Daniel asked us to last night," Sirius pointed out.

            "Oh," Josh said uncomfortably, fidgeting with the buckles on his khakis.  

            "What happened?" Sirius asked, afraid to know the answer to that question.

            "Um…this morning…uh…they…well…"Allie started, but tears sprang to her eyes.

            "No…" Savannah said slowly, dragging it out.

            Josh nodded.  "They found her body this morning," he said barely audible as lump formed in his throat.  "Buried under mountains of dust, boulders, bricks, and…and other bodies."

            "Oh, no!" Savannah cried shaking her head forlornly, as the tears spilled down her face.  "Where's Daniel?"

            "In the kitchen surrounded by relatives.  Good luck getting through there," Allie explained.  "No one has been able to talk to him for over an hour now."

            Savannah and Sirius walked into the kitchen where, sure enough, he was surrounded by grandparents and aunts and uncles and parents and cousins.  

            "Danny?" Savannah whispered quietly.

            He looked up and broke away from his crowd, finishing the conversation abruptly.  "Oh, Savannah," he said, tears already spread all over his cheeks. Daniel and Savannah used to be neighbors and knew each other ever since first grade. In Hogwarts, Daniel and Savannah had been the best of friends, going everywhere together and doing everything together. At the time, if Daniel wasn't dating Minnie, and Savannah wasn't 'dating' Sirius, then people would've sworn they would have gone out by their seventh year.  If Savannah wasn't hanging out with Sirius, she was hanging out with Daniel.  If she wasn't hanging out with Daniel, she was hanging out with Lily, Allie, and Kaitlynne.  Unfortunately, after graduation, Minnie and Daniel moved to France, and Daniel and Savannah had separated and lost touch for a while.

            "I'm sorry," Savannah kept repeating.  "I'm so, _so_ sorry."

            They held on to each other for a long time and Sirius snuck out to go find Allie and Josh again, knowing that Savannah and Daniel would be there for a while. 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Savannah and Sirius got home late that afternoon, after spending seven hours at Daniel's house, even after everyone left.  Savannah sat by Daniel's side for comfort for as long as he needed it and Sirius refused to leave them there alone.  Daniel needed friends, and Savannah and Sirius gave him that.

            Savannah and Sirius walked into Sirius' house around five o'clock, exhausted and depressed.

            "I can't believe this has happened," Savannah mumbled mournfully.  "She was so young.  She doesn't deserve this!" 

            "No one _ever deserves to die, Vannie," Sirius pointed out, throwing the keys on to the table beside the front door._

            "I know," Savannah muttered.  "But…but…it's different when it happens to someone you know."

            Sirius nodded in agreement.  "I know."

            As Sirius walked into the kitchen to grab a couple of sodas, Savannah watched him closely as she plopped on to the couch.  She didn't know what she'd do if Sirius ever died.  She didn't _want _to think about it, but for some reason, that's all that was going through her mind.  Sirius was her life and her reason for living.  He was always there for support and always did things that made Savannah _know they were completely in love.  _

            She sighed and suddenly there was a knock on the door.

            "I've got it, Si!" Savannah cried, getting up and walking towards the door.

            When she opened it, she frowned deeply.  "What are _you doing here?"_

            "Savannah, I'm _so sorry," James apologized sincerely, ready to get down on his hands and knees for forgiveness._

            "Why?  Aren't I just a snot-nosed, spoiled brat?" Savannah replied crossly. 

            "_No_," James urged earnestly.  "You're everything _but _that.  You're one of my best friends and I wish I could take back everything that I had said to you yesterday!  I never intended on hurting you and I _hate it when you're mad at me!  If I—"_

            "James, I'm not mad," Savannah said quietly.

            "—could do anything…wait, what?  You're not?"

            "No."

            "But…but…I had a whole speech planned!  I'm not even half-finished!   I was getting ready to grovel at your feet and kiss your toes!"

            Savannah grinned.  "Well, if you really want to grovel at my feet, I wouldn't mind that."

            James laughed.  "Savannah, I really _do deserve your anger.  I said some things that I __never should have said.  __Especially to you.  You have always been there for Lily and me, and what I said was just __stupid!"_

            "James, you can be an idiot sometimes," Savannah smirked, chuckling to herself.  "But I realized today that you were just defending yourself.  Listen, right now, you and I aren't the issue.  Daniel needs us, and I can't bear to live with you mad at _me _at this time.  I spent almost half a day with Danny and I realized that _you _almost died last week!!  I should _not be screaming at you!  I should be hugging you!  Kissing you!  Praising you!  __Celebrating!  I should _not _be scolding you!  If that was __you who had died, I never would have been able to live with myself."_

            "But it _wasn't me," James said softly.  "I'm not going anywhere.  I will never hurt you again like I did yesterday, Savannah.  Thanks for understanding." _

            "So do we agree to disagree with this whole Lily situation?" Savannah said.

            "Yes.  And let's just leave it at that."

            Savannah smiled widely and gave him a very unexpected hug.  "Welcome home, James."

            "Thanks," James whispered back, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.  "It's good to be back…"

            James walked away after that and Savannah smiled again as she closed the door and turned back to where Sirius was leaning against the kitchen door with an all-knowing smile on his face.

            "Don't say 'I told you so,'" Savannah said, walking over to him with a smile on her face.

            "Hey, I _never get to be right!" Sirius complained.  "But this time I told you that you two would make up, and _I was right_!!"_

            "Don't get used to it," Savannah muttered.

            He laughed as he leaned in and gave her a passionate kiss.  "I told you so…"     

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Four days later, they had the funeral and everyone was there.  Daniel's parents, brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, friends, Minnie's parents, brother, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, friends, neighbors, co-workers, Sirius, Josh, Remus, Peter, James, Savannah, Allie, and Kaitlynne.  

            Halfway through the service, both Savannah and Sirius noticed that Lily wasn't there, and wondered why but didn't say anything until afterward.  

            ……Actually, James noticed from the beginning, but he wasn't about to admit to that.

            At the reception, back at Daniel's house, Savannah asked Sirius, "Where's Lily?"

            He was taken aback.  "I thought _you'd know!"_

            "But…"  Savannah looked at him speechless.  "Oh, my gosh!  No one told Lily about Minnie."

            Sirius took a long sigh and drawled it out.  "Could this day get any worse?" he groaned. 

            James came up from behind them, knowing what they were talking about already, but asked, "What are you guys talking about?"   

            Savannah and Sirius exchanged looks and hesitated before answering.  "Lily," they both said.

            "Oh…why isn't she here?" he asked, trying to act casual.

            Savannah sighed.  "Because no one told her."

            "Wh-what??"

            "Yeah.  We were so caught up with everyone that I guess we all forgot," Sirius explained.

            "She's not going to like the fact she missed this," James pointed out.

            "How do you know that?" Sirius asked.

            James sighed.  "We may not be dating _now, but I knew her better than anyone, and I still do.  She's going to feel __so out of the loop now.  She's going to feel like everyone forgot about her since she's moved out to California."_

            Savannah sighed.  "I know…I know."

            "Soooo," James said casually.  "I'm guessing you haven't heard from her lately."

            Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend, who was still obviously in love with her.  "No, we've been too busy.  I talked to her June 1, which was the last time."

            James nodded and Savannah agreed with Sirius.  "Yeah, I haven't exactly been the best of friends with her at the moment," she sighed.

            "Don't worry about it, Vannie," Sirius said, rubbing her neck.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Where the hell have you been these past few days?" Lily screamed into the phone when Savannah answered Sunday afternoon, as she was getting ready to fly back to Canada to go on tour with the Silver Snitches.

            Savannah felt incredibly guilty and didn't want to tell her, but she knew she had to.  "Well, I'm staying with Sirius for this week as the lock-down cools down and I got a leave of absence for it and-"

            "How did you manage that?" Lily asked.  "You just told them you wanted to be with your boyfriend?"

            Savannah sighed, knowing it was the moment of truth.  "Not exactly.  My reason for Monday was that my friends' spouses weren't found yet and I wanted to be there."

            "Oh, my God!  That's right!  What happened with Josh and Minnie?" Lily suddenly remembered.

            "Well…I was able to get another leave of absence for the rest of the week because…" she trailed off.

            "Oh, no.  Don't do this to me, Savannah Lydia Turner!" Lily scolded.  "What happened!?!?"

            "Uh…Josh came home," she said plainly.  "And…"

            "_SAVANNAH__!" Lily screamed again, making Andy paranoid in the other room.  "_WHAT HAPPENED!?_"_

            Savannah sighed.  "Minnie died, Lily."

            There was silence on the other end of the phone, and Savannah wasn't sure Lily heard her until Lily suddenly said, "Oh, my God.  How's Danny??  How's he doing? And how is everyone else dealing with it?  Oh, and when's the funeral??"

            Savannah went silent this time, knowing that Lily was about to blow up in her face.  "Danny's going to be okay.  And I'm fine, and Sirius and Remus and Kaitlynne and Peter and Allie and Josh are all dealing with it."  

            "What about the funeral?" Lily asked.

            Savannah hesitated again, "Lily, I've been so busy with Danny lately, and so have Allie and Josh, and Sirius had been supportive with everything.  He's always there to run out to the store to get something or be by anyone's side. Then there's Remus who was still worried about his sister—she's fine now—and Kaitlynne was staying with him helping him out and Peter only swung by everyone's place on Wednesday and since then he was just everywhere helping out with _everyone_, and he's gotten no sleep lately.  In fact I haven't slept a wink in days and I've been staying over at Danny's house a lot lately and Kaitlynne and Remus were caught up with Charlotte, his sister, so they've been pretty out of it.  And Sirius has been in and out of everyone's house, sleeping whenever he got the chance _wherever he got the chance and Peter had to work through most of the nights and-"_

            "Savannah?  What are you talking about?" Lily asked slowly, realizing that in her long lecture she never _once spoke of James.  _

            Savannah sighed, realizing there wasn't any good explanation for this.  She took a deep breath in and then out and said, "The funeral was yesterday morning."

            Again, there was silence on the other end of the phone, but Lily didn't say anything.

            "Lily?" Savannah said.

            "Soooo….basically, you were all too busy to write Lily a letter or call Lily to explain that Danny needs support and that there's a funeral going on that I should be at?" Lily cried crossly.

            "Lily, I'm sor-"

            "No, don't say you're sorry," Lily snapped.  "If you were sorry you would've realized that there's someone in California who can't just pop back to England whenever she likes and doesn't know what's happening unless she's informed!  If you were sorry you would've thought about how your best friend would feel to find out another friend's wife is dead…_a day late!  If you were __really sorry, you would've picked up the phone in a second and called me to explain the situation!  You're not _sorry_, you're just unbelievably short-winded!"_

            "Lily-"

            "No, you have no right talking to me right now, Savannah!  Nor does Sirius or Remus or Kaitlynne or Peter or Allie or Josh or whoever!!!  I'm stuck in California, _and I have no idea what's even happening with my goddamned friends!  _And you call this a friendship!" she sneered.  "Tell Sirius that he was _obviously mistaken__ when he said that we'll always keep in touch!  And tell Sirius that his girlfriend should be more observant of her best friend who is completely oblivious to everything going on in England!! Oh, and tell Danny that I'm sorry and that I'll call him later when I calm down and __I'm done yelling at my pathetic excuse for a best friend!" Lily finished, before slamming the phone down, understanding that she was a little too harsh and shouldn't have taken out her built-up anger on Savannah._

            Savannah was hurt by what Lily said, but she realized she felt more guilty than anything.  Yes, Lily had been a little harsh on her and she thought she'd be more angry, but she wasn't.  She was more angry at herself than she was at Lily.  

            "Who was that?" Sirius asked walking downstairs.  He had slept late, until noon and then had taken a long, satisfying shower.

            Savannah sighed.  "Lily."

            "And I'm guessing she did not take the whole missing-the-funeral-thing so well."

            Savannah shook her head.  "She called me a pathetic excuse for a best friend and short-winded.  She said I shouldn't be sorry for what happened because that it _shouldn't have happened at _all_.  Oh and she tells you that the whole 'keeping in touch' thing is not working and you were obviously mistaken and to tell your girlfriend that she should be more observant of her best friend who was oblivious to everything happening in England."_

            Sirius sighed, and walked over to her, giving her a kiss on the forehead.  "Oh, honey, she's not mad at _you_, she's just angry that no one bothered to tell her about Minnie.  Don't feel bad."

            Savannah shook her head.  "But that's the thing…I _don't feel bad.  I feel __guilty.  I feel _stupid_.  I feel _worthless_.  I feel _pathetic_.  I feel _disloyal.  _I feel __horrible.The list keeps going.  But mostly…I feel angry with myself.  She's right.  I shouldn't be sorry because it _shouldn't _have happened.  I just…got caught up with everything and forgot about her for one measly second in my life."  _

            "Vannie, if anyone should feel guilty and horrible, it _shouldn't be you.  You have been of __much obliged help to Danny, and he needed it.  He needed your support and you gave him that.  Dealing with death is painful…trust me, I've been there.  All he needed was a good friend to be there, and that was you.  You did a good thing this week, Vannie, and here I am realizing that I haven't done much at__ all to benefit anyone.  I've just been around, helping out with you and Danny, and with Remus and Kaitlynne and Peter, and James, and basically worthless things.  They didn't help anyone.  __I'm the worthless one here!"_

            "No way.  I might have been there for Danny, but I've been there all week.  You've been helping _everyone_, and that's what they need!  As long as they have your support that's great!  I only gave my time to one person.  Besides, Lily's my _best friend!!!  _I'm _the worthless one!"_

            "No way!!!  You-"

            Savannah interrupted him by erupting with a loud, hyena-type laugh which made Sirius stare.  "Sirius, we're arguing over who's more _worthless.  This _argument _is worthless!!!"_

            Sirius laughed with her.  "You're right, Vannie.  Let's just agree that we're both worthless," and they both laughed. 

            "Okay…but I'm _more worthless," she muttered._

            "Not if I can help it," he muttered back, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

            "I'm leaving in two hours and that's all I get?" she asked.

            "Oh, no way.  I'm just waiting for the right time in this two-hour period to give you more," he said with a playful grin.

            "Fine, how about we go upstairs and do the packing?" Savannah said expressionless.

            "Packing??  Is that my new nickname?" he asked with a wink and Savannah laughed.  "Let's just hope there aren't tons of clothes sprawled out on your bed," he teased.

            "No, I made _sure that stayed clean," she said with a grin before dragging him upstairs._

*~*~*~*~*

            Sirius heard a knock on his door the next night and after putting down the remote and the popcorn he had in his hands, he went to see who it was.

            "Hi, Sirius," Lily said slowly.

            "Lily!" he cried, sounding very surprised.

            "I know you're wondering why I'm here, right?"

            "Well…uh…yeah, kinda."

            "I was just wondering if Savannah was still here."

            Sirius winced.  "She left last night," he said with a straining face as if he already knew why she wanted see her.

            "By the look on your face I'm guessing Savannah had told you what I said."

            Sirius put on a guilty look.  "Well…yeah."

            "Maybe…maybe I'll just send her a letter or something to her dorm," Lily thought out loud.  "Well, I'm sorry to bother you."

            "You're not.  I was just watching a movie alone on a Saturday night.  Pathetic, right?" he grinned.  

            "Yeah, well I better go anyway."

            "Why?" Sirius asked.

            Lily sighed.  For some reason, it just felt uncomfortable standing there with him.  Mostly because of what had happened with Savannah and her, but also because of the fact that she couldn't help but remember that she didn't live there anymore.  California was her home and that's where it was going to be.  She felt out of the loop with everyone…especially standing in from of her former house.    "I-I just don't belong anymore," she whispered.

            "What are you talking about?!" Sirius cried, trying not to laugh.

            "I don't live here anymore, Sirius.  Everything has changed and I just feel…out of the loop," she said miserably.

            "But you're _not out of the loop…at least, I won't let it happen.  You _do _belong because you're my friend.  That's all that matters, Lily."_

            "Will I always be?"

            "_Yes_.  I don't care if you become a penguin and live in Antarctica!!  I'd still come visit you.  I'd have to wear ten jackets and twenty pairs of gloves and thirty pairs of socks and get a pair of those snow pants and it would be pretty hard to find you considering you'd look like everyone else on the damn continent, but if I had to spend the rest of my life searching for you on that damn piece of sheer ice, so be it.  I refuse to lose a friendship with you just because you moved to California."

            Lily couldn't help but smile.  "A penguin?  Couldn't I be a koala bear or something where I don't have to live in the freezing cold?"

            "You are totally missing the point here."

            "No, I got it.  I just don't want to be a penguin."

            "I'm sorry, why am I your friend?" he teased.

            "Quack."

            "Penguins don't quack!!" Sirius said with a laugh.

            Lily laughed.  "I know.  But it would just sound stupid if I said, 'Waddle, waddle.'"

            They both laughed. 

            "Okay, well I got to get home now, but if you talk to Savannah before I do, just tell her I was looking for her," Lily said, turning around.

            "Savannah isn't mad at you, if that's what you were wondering."

            Lily stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around.  "What?  How could she not be?"

            "She claims it was all her fault because she never told you.  Actually, we all feel really bad.  Both Savannah and I feel horribly guilty for not going to you right away.  We're really sorry, and we promise to stay in touch with you about everything that happens."

            "You shouldn't feel guilty.  You both had a lot on your minds, what with Minnie and all, and I do understand a little, but I don't want this to happen every time something terrible or something excellent happens."

            "It won't.  I refuse to let that happen again.  Trust me; I've learned my lesson and so has everyone else."

            "I just…I just felt so bad when I found out…too late.  I wanted to be there for Daniel and I wasn't. He needed all the support he could get, and I wasn't there giving him any."

            "I'm so sorry, Lily."

            "So am I.  I shouldn't have yelled at Savannah the way I did.  I was just frustrated with the whole moving to California situation."

            "So are the rest of us," Sirius said wearily.          

            Lily sighed.  "Speaking of California, I guess I've got to be getting back.  I've got a lot of stuff to do."

            "Don't," Sirius urged.  "Stay here.  I haven't spent much time with you since you left."

            "But-"

            "_Please_?  I'm asking you as you fellow penguin!"

            Lily laughed.  "Fine, fine…as long as I don't have to watch any nature videos about penguins."

            Sirius laughed as he closed the door behind her…he knew that this would be just like old times!

**A/N**:  REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Okay, this was a strange (and kinda long…) chapter.  Very sad and hard to write.  But this WILL lead to other things happening in the future!  YAY!!  So review……….  


	11. Graduations and Reunions

**A/N: **Okay, so this is not a GREAT chapter, but it kinda starts off with the basics.  It will be leading into some _HEAVY and __SHOCKING info in later chapters, so u better keep on reading!!!  I'm telling you, bad things will happen at the reunion! _

**Disclaimer: **Read previous chapters… 

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER** 11: Graduations and Reunions******

Written by ByeByeBirdie (formally known as Foxy!)  

            Twelve months passed, and many things have changed since then…

            Kaitlynne eventually moved in with Sirius and she started dating Remus, who was still living with Peter.  Both of them kept their jobs, although Remus had been promoted to co-assistant in the sea monster division.    

            Since touring with the Silver Snitches, Savannah had toured with BBWiz, Lorna VanCampbell, the Creepy Owls, Laurette Scamson, the Lord V's, the Deathifyers, VP Witchcraft, and the Underworld Wizards.  She had also gotten single gigs playing at coffeehouses, she had been opening for other bands, and wrote and sold tons of her music.  Basically…she was gaining a lot of money in the music business and liked every minute of it.  

            Sirius got a new job at Hickory Bee's Joke Shop in Diagon Alley, and was slowly moving up to assistant manager.  He quit his job at the school and, to make up for extra money, became a waiter at Three Broomsticks three night of the weeks, working with Rosmerta, who wasn't too fond of that…J

            Sirius and Savannah were still together, and they were better than ever.  They weren't just the happiest couple they wanted to be; they were in love.  No, they hadn't said it to each other yet, but that was because they were both scared.  They've had their rough times, and through those times there wasn't much standing in the way.  But love…that would always stick with them.  Mostly because they both knew how they truly felt about each other even if it _wasn't _spoken out loud yet.

            Peter kept his job, though where he worked relocated to western Canada, luckily he could apparate so he didn't move out and did the same things he always did (let's just say that no one really knew what he did…only you and me.)

            Allie and Josh finally got married in October of 1981 and moved into a bigger house around New Years in a town not too far away from Alphamstone.  Allie took over her grandparents' restaurant and became the manager two months after starting a waitressing job there.  Josh became an actor in _Les Miserables for four months before retiring to a better part in _Sound of Music_ to which he still performs in now.  _

            James has been on plenty of Auror missions, many that could have killed him and many that were close calls that they made Savannah and Sirius scream his head off for being so stupid.  He still attended school, though only to get his master's degree in the Auror business legally so in the future, it could help for getting another job, if this one bailed…which he hoped it wouldn't.   

            Lily finished her internship over the summer of 1981 and got her journalism degree and her _Daily Prophet editor rights from a long ceremony at the end of August. She kept with her job at _Random House for Wizardry_ instead of heading back to England to look at a job at __Daily Prophet.  She was still living with Andy, but instead of the apartment, they had both moved out down the street into a nice bigger and affordable house they had both liked._

            James and Lily had avoided each other since the last time they saw, which was May 31, and had been discrete on why they couldn't make it to the party or the reunion or the celebration or a get-together, their other friends planned, usually using work as an excuse.  James even said he couldn't attend Josh and Allie's wedding because of an important Auror deadline he 'forgot about.'  Everyone knew he was just chickening out.      

            Now it was June of 1982 and Andy and Lily decided to throw a graduation party for all of their friends, which were Savannah, Josh, Shane, Brett, and Elizabeth Hallett.  Since James was still studying to be an Auror, he still had half a year to go…not that he would have shown up even if the party _were for him._

            Savannah, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Kaitlynne, Josh, Allie, and Daniel had arrived at Lily and Andy's home for the party on June 12 along with Andy's friends, Shane, Brett, Brad, Erik, Callie and his two other friends, Elizabeth Hallett and Zachary Salias.  James couldn't attend because he 'had an important Auror mission to complete that would need his full attention for the week, but he hopes that they all have fun.'  Now all of Lily's friends, not including Lily, knew that he wasn't there just because it was too awkward for him to stay at Lily's home when they weren't dating anymore even though Lily sent him an invitation.  Sirius even begged him to come, and James knew that Sirius knew the real reason, but he refused to step back and go to the party.  He was still in love with Lily and he wasn't about to see her when he didn't absolutely need to.  

            "Okay, now that we are all done with dinner and before the cake is brought out, I haven't heard form a lot of you in a while and I demand to know what is up in everyone's lives," Andy said, and they all laughed.  

            "Well, I have some news," Kaitlynne said and Remus turned to her but she shook her head, as if to say hold on.  "Well, for those of you who didn't know, I got the job in Australia-"

            "That's great!" Lily and Allie cried and Savannah and Sirius nodded, because they already knew. 

            "Wait, hold on.  I'm actually not going to take it, though, and I'm staying with my job at the London Ledger," Kaitlynne continued.

            "What? Why?" Lily asked. 

            "Well…something more important came up…" Kaitlynne said with a grin.

            Kaitlynne and Remus couldn't help but grin at each other and laugh towards the group, to which the entire group turned to them with raised eyebrows.  "Well…uh…" Kaitlynne started out.  "Last night was our one-year anniversary and instead of giving me the usual anniversary gifts, he…uh…well, he proposed!" she squealed.

            "Oh, my God!"

            "Are you kidding me??"

            "Seriously!?!?"

            "This is so great!!"

            "Congratulations!"

            "When's the wedding?" 

            "I'm so excited for you!"

            "He got you pregnant, didn't he," Sirius accused, and they all laughed.

            "No, Sirius, he _didn't get me pregnant and don't ask me any questions about the wedding _yet _because I've only had one day to think about it!" Kaitlynne replied, and they all laughed._

            "Any other good news?" Lily asked everyone.  "Can anyone top marriage??"  And they all laughed again.

            "Well, to those who didn't know already, I'm pregnant again," Callie said, beaming.

            "You _are?!"_

            "That's so great!"

            "That's good news!!"

            "Congratulations!!"

            "You didn't tell me!"

            "How long have you known?!"

            "Oh, I'm so happy for you two!"

            "Boy or girl?"

            "How many months?"

            "Now, how old is Mei again?"

            "He got you pregnant, didn't he," Sirius accused.  "Oh, wait.  We knew that."  They all laughed again.

            "I just found out last week, and I'm only a month pregnant, I don't know if it is a boy or girl, and, to answer your question, Elizabeth, Mei is now two years old and as cranky as ever."

            They all laughed and Lily said, "Well, I guess a pregnancy _can _top marriage…or it's about the same."  That just sent everyone laughing again.

            "Okay, well, for those of you who know me, I'm obviously Sirius Black…and for those of you who _don't know me…I'm __still Sirius Black," he started, and everyone laughed._

            "That's the unfortunate part," Savannah teased.

            "HEY!"

            She winked at him and they all laughed.

            "Well, before I was _rudely interrupted," Sirius said glaring at Savannah playfully, "I have some good news, as well."_

            "_What_?" Savannah cried in confusion.

            He laughed.  "I was going to tell you first, Honey, but this seems appropriate.  I got the job as the assistant manager at Hickory Bee's."

            "Finally!"

            "You did!?"

            "That's great!"

            "Congratulations!"

            "That's awesome!"

            "He got you pregnant, didn't he," Lily mimicked.

            He gasped.  "How'd you find out!?" he joked, and they all laughed.

            "Oh, and more news—Savannah's moving in with me at the end of August," he continued.

            "Took you long enough," Lily muttered, and everyone laughed.

            "She was still in _school," Sirius defended.  "Besides, Kaitlynne was living with me for a while!"_

            "Oh, I'm _sure that's the only reason," Remus commented.  "You would have kicked Kaitlynne out on to the streets during the middle of a huge rainstorm in the freezing weather if Savannah was given the chance to come live with you!"_

            "No _way," Sirius protested.  "…I would have given her an umbrella and _maybe _an extra jacket."_

            "It's nice to know I'm loved," Kaitlynne said sarcastically.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            They all stuck around for most of the night, until late, around midnight, before returning back to their homes or returning back to someone _else's _home, except for Sirius and Savannah and Shane who were helping to clean up the place and basically just spend even _more _time with each other.

             Sirius and Lily both went to the garage with a garbage bag in their hands, as Lily finally had the guts to ask him _casually, "Uh…so, Sirius, have you heard from James lately?"_

            Sirius grinned wide, but luckily it was dark in the garage so Lily didn't notice.  He knew that Lily was trying to act as if she didn't care at all, but it was obvious that she still cared about him a lot.  It's been over a year since they've talked last and they're both too stubborn to admit that they miss each other's company.  "Actually, I talked to him three days ago when his graduation ceremony was.  He says he wish he could have been here," Sirius lied, "But he needed to work for the rest of the week."

            Lily nodded, obviously very disappointed.  "Oh.  Okay.  I… I just haven't spoken to him in over a year, so I was just curious," she fibbed.

            Sirius grinned again while rolling his eyes.  "I know.  I don't know _why you two refuse to talk to each other.  But…it's not my business and Savannah would whip my butt if she found out I was even telling you what I thought."_

            "Oh, so it's all about what your _girlfriend wants nowadays?" Lily said, laughing, but actually just trying to avoid what Sirius had said.  She knew it was true and __Sirius knew she knew it was true, but she wasn't about to show it.  _

            "Lily, just _talk to him," Sirius urged._

            Lily sighed.  "Sirius, it's complicated.  You don't know the whole story."

            "I know I don't, but you two have _got to get through your complications.  I don't know what happened between you two, and I'm not trying to figure it out because it's not my problem, but I hate to see you both so distant."_

            "Sirius…" Lily sighed, looking up at the night sky.  "You know what my mother always used to say?  Life is like a constellation—you never know what you may find, but something always turns up.  When that 'something'  turns up, I'll know it.  But it's not time yet for me to go out seeking for the answers yet.  I'm still young and I don't know what I want.  Please, just leave it at that."

            Sirius saw her staring into the midst of the cold air and sighed without letting her notice.  "I'm sorry, Lily.  I just want you to be happy."

            Lily looked back at him and smiled, brightening her face with the moonlight.  "I _am _happy."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            By late July, Kaitlynne had moved out of her home in Alphamstone and Remus moved out of his apartment with Peter.  Kaitlynne and Remus moved in together to a smaller, peaceful wizardry town and into a nice-sized house in Concave Borough, a town right outside of Alphamstone, where they spent most of their summer planning the wedding, which was to be held on October 22.

            Lily still had work, but on the weekends, she often went to go visit Savannah, still in Canada finishing up little odd jobs her agent gave her, and Sirius who still lived in Alphamstone.  Sometimes she would visit Daniel in Godric's Hollow, which was her absolute favorite town, or she'd visit Allie and Josh, who were now moving to southern England.  She often visited Kaitlynne and Remus in their new home and helped out a lot with the wedding, as did everyone.  

            Every time she would go to Sirius' house, she secretly wished that she could have _seen James at least once.  For all she knew, he could have long hair, an earring, bell-bottoms and high-tops and could be saying "Peace," and "Wicked," to people passing on the street.  Somehow, she figured that he __didn't change into a hippie, but it still would have been nice to see him again.  Luckily, she got her change at the end of August._

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_            You are invited to celebrate a five-year Hogwarts reunion in the Great Hall of Hogwarts School on August 21 at __6 o'clock__ in the evening.  This will be a chance to see all of your old friends, catch up on some current news, to see you old teachers, and to have a good time, just like the good ol' days.  I hope we will all see you there._

_                                                Sincerely,_

_                                                Headmaster Albus Dumbledore_   

            She laughed, realizing that the people she'd _want _to see at the reunion, she's already friends with.  And Dumbledore, of course.  And…well, she wasn't about to admit it, but James, also.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "You _have to go," Savannah whined to Daniel two days before the reunion._

            "Why?  So everyone can come up to me and ask me how Minnie's doing?  Everyone in that damn school knew I married her…but not everyone knows she died," he said.

            Savannah gave him her puppy-dog look.  "Awww, pwease come?  For me?" Savannah asked.  "I'll keep people away from you," she said, and they both laughed.  "I'll save you a few dances, also."

            He laughed.  "Okay, fine, fine, I'll go, but I'm not going to have any fun."

            They both laughed and Savannah said, "Not if I can help it."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Where were you?" Sirius asked, when she got back to Sirius' later that night.  She was staying at Sirius' house for the week until the reunion then she'd return to Canada for one last week before moving in with Sirius.  Half of her stuff was already at his house…_not _unpacked.

            "I was over at Daniel's.  He told me he wasn't going to go to the reunion last night and I couldn't convince him then, so I decided to stop by this afternoon when you were at work."

            Sirius nodded, hating the fact that she was often spending time with Daniel and not him, but he didn't say so.  "As long as I have you tonight," he said, giving her a quick kiss.

            "Oh, you do," she said with a grin.  "And after next week, you'll have me all of the time."

            "That's what I like to hear!"

            "No, you like to hear that Brittney Spears is moving in with you next week and she wants to marry you," she said with a giggle.  

            "Well…you're second on my list," he said, and they both laughed.

            "Oh, great.  I'm a consolation prize," she said rolling her eyes with a grin.  

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Well, Miss Turner and Mr. Black, I heard that you two are quite the item these days," Dumbledore greeted them.

            They both blushed.  "If you want to put it that way," Savannah said with a laugh, as they entered into the Great Hall, where they saw about twenty other people there at the time, and about fifteen of them on the dance floor and the rest just standing around chatting.

            Savannah saw Daniel near the punch bowl and they walked over to him.  "Hey, Danny."

            "Okay, four people just came up to me and asked me how Minnie was," Daniel said to Savannah.  "This is not exactly the fun time you promised me."

            Savannah laughed.  "I'm sorry.  It _will _get better, I promise you."  They all laughed.  

            "Are Lily or James here yet?" Sirius asked.

            "James is over with Remus and Peter, and Lily hasn't gotten here yet," he explained.

            Sirius started walking over to James and Remus and Peter, but stopped when Savannah didn't come with him.  "Are you coming?"

            "Huh?  Oh, no, I'll stay here and talk to Danny."

            Sirius was annoyed, but didn't show it as he nodded and turned towards James and Remus and Peter.  "As long as you're _only talking," he muttered to only himself.  James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius got into a discussion about their last year at Hogwarts._

            "James?" a voice said from behind. They all turned around and saw a beautiful, short, petite blonde-haired, blue-eyed, gorgeous woman standing there.

            "Avril Harper?" he said.  "Wow!  You've changed so much!"  And he gave her a bear hug. They had dated in their third year for five months, until they just started to drift apart.

            "You want to dance?"

            "Sure," he replied, and they left to go to the dance floor.

            "That's one down.  Three more to go," Sirius mumbled, and right on cue Kaitlynne walked over.

            "You want to dance, Remus?"

            "Of course."

            "I take that back, make it _two down, __two to go," Sirius corrected, and Peter snickered._

            Lily walked into the room at the moment and scanned it, looking for her friends.  She saw Savannah and Daniel talking off to the side and Sirius and Peter talking off to the side.  She immediately recognized Remus and Kaitlynne dancing on the dance floor and saw Allie and Josh next to them.  She pretended not to look, but she scanned the room until her eyes landed on James dancing with Avril Harper. She stared at them for the few minutes, trying to ignore the jealous feeling at the bottom of her stomach.

            "Take a picture.  It lasts longer," someone said from behind.  She turned around and saw Savannah there with a grin on her face.

            "What are you talking about?" Lily said huffily.

            "I'm not dumb.  I've been watching you and that's all you've stared at for the past two minutes."

            "That's not true," Lily lied.

            "Fine, don't believe it," she said.  "I'm going to look for Sirius."

            Lily sighed and went to go sit down at an empty table off to the side.   "…Okay, so maybe it is true," she muttered to herself.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Throughout the evening, Lily had been asked by plenty of people to dance, and she agreed with every person, and she sat and talked to a bunch of people, including Dumbledore and McGonnagal about everything, and she often ended up hanging out with Sirius a lot while Savannah danced with Danny a bunch of times.  If you wanted to know every inch of what Lily had done that night or who she was with or what she ate…just ask James.  He was watching her the whole time, even though he wouldn't admit it.

            "She's not going anywhere.  You can take your eyes off of her for a second, can't you?  Or are you afraid to lose sight of her?" Savannah asked, coming up from behind him.

            "What?  I don't know what you're talking about," James lied.

            "Yes you do, but fine, don't admit it.  Lily did the same before," she said mischievously.

            "Huh?" James asked.  "Um...what do you mean?" he asked, pretending not to care.

            "Oh, she was staring at you with Avril for a while," Savannah said playfully, before getting up. 

            "What? Why?"

            "I think you know."

            "I'd know _more if you just told me…"_

            "Oops, got to go now.  Sirius is awaiting," Savannah said with a wink.

            "Savannah!!" James cried as he watched her submerge into the crowd, thinking about what she had just said.  _She was staring at me? _He thought.  _But…why??  _

            But deep down, he knew the answer.

**A/N: **Okay, I told you it was just a simple chapter…but next chapter—well, I won't give it away!  Just keep reading to find out what happens!!!!!!!!


	12. Reunions or Separations?

**A/N: **Wahhh…..this is a sad chapter!  Strange things happen between EVERYONE!  James and Lily finally talk…and so do Savannah and Daniel, which may cause some—well, you've got to read to know what I'm trying to say………

**Disclaimer: **Read previous chapters….. 

**MEMORIES**

**CHAPTER 12: ****Reunion****…or Separation?**

**Written by ByeByeBirdie (formally known as Foxy)  **

            Lily sat off to the side, after dancing with Danny for a few minutes, just sipping a glass of punch, when she heard someone behind her.

            "Hi," a very familiar voice said.   

            She half-turned and saw the one person she _never _would have thought would have come up to her.  Her heart sped up at the sight of James, who _wasn't _a hippie, and she took a deep breath in and out.  "Hi," she replied with a warm, welcoming smile.

            "Is this seat taken?" he asked, pointing to the empty seat next to her.

            The whole table was empty, and if it was _anyone_ else she may have made a joke about how now her invisible circus was there with her or something, but because it was James, she just shook her head.  "Nope."

            "So…uh…I haven't talked to you in a year and three months.  Something must be going on with you," he said with a smile.

            She smiled back, realizing how good it felt to be talking to him once again.  "Nothing that you probably haven't heard from Sirius or Savannah."

            "Oh…okay. Then I hear you're doing well," James said, acting casual.

            "Yeah, I guess so," Lily said.

            "You meeting anyone new?" James asked.

            "What do you mean?" Lily asked. She was wondering if he was talking about _boyfriend _new or _friends _new.

            "Well you didn't want to go all the way to California because you would miss your friends-" _And me, "so I was just asking if you met any new friends."_

            "Oh you mean besides the ones that I cheated on you with the time I thought you were dead?" Lily snapped. _Okay, that wasn't supposed to come out._

            "Look Lily, I didn't-" James started.

            "Just forget it," Lily said.  "I didn't mean to say it."

            "But you did," James said.  "I don't know what came over me that day. I'm sorry."

            "I know," Lily said, but she didn't accept his apology. _If you hadn't gotten all jealous and I hadn't gotten mad we'd still be together today. _

            "So…is everything alright between us?" James asked. 

            Lily snorted.  "James, if everything was alright between us, we wouldn't have avoided each other for the past few years."

            James sighed.  "We both just needed time."

            "I didn't _want to have that much time," Lily pointed out.  "In fact, I didn't want to have __any time!"_

            "Lily, I'm sorry," James said sadly.  "There's not much else I can say right now.  We can't go back in time and replace those few years we just lost."

            "Yeah, well, whose fault is that?" Lily grumbled in frustration.

            "_What_?"

            "I'm not the jealous one, here," Lily commented.  "_I'm not the one who doesn't trust me __or the one who didn't trust our relationship!  _I'm _not the one who ganged up on me the day after you got back!"_

            "Lily, I'm—"

            "Don't say you're sorry," Lily muttered angrily.  "Because if you were, then it wouldn't have happened."

            "Lily, I—"

            "Nothing is the way it used to be, James," Lily said sorrowfully.  "And it probably never _will _be."

            And with those last heartbreaking words, she got up and left James behind, not looking back at his frustrated and shocked face as she went to go find someone else to talk to.

            James sighed and looked down at the ground in sympathy.  

            "Hey buddy! Saw you talking to Lily…" Sirius said with a smirk.

            "So?" James asked.

            "Well what did you say to her? What did she say to you?" Sirius asked.

            "She's still a little angry…" James explained.

            "What?! She _can't _be! She is not! It's been over a _year_!"

            "Yes she is. _I was the one talking to her."_

            "You really wish she wasn't mad at you huh?" Sirius asked. James looked at him as if that was the stupidest question to be asked.

            "She's one of my best friends!  Of course I wish she wasn't mad at me."

            "That's not the only reason…"

            "Fine, fine!" James cried.  "Maybe I _do miss her!  But _of course _I do!  She's the only woman I've ever loved!"_

            "Then _tell her that."_

            "She won't listen."

            "How do you know without trying?"

            "I just know…"

**Over on the other side of the room:**

            "So I saw you talking to James…" Savannah said casually, coming up to Lily.

            "Yes, I'm sure you did," Lily said.

            "So what did you guys talk about?"

            "Nothing," Lily grumbled.  "We argued…_again."_

            "About what?" Savannah sighed, leaning against the wall behind her, feeling sorry for Lily.

            "I'm not even sure…I thought I'd be okay with seeing him again, but I ended up lashing out at him for his stupid jealousy.  I really didn't want to do that!  I just want to be able to talk to him again…_normally_."

            "And maybe one day you'll get that chance," Savannah said gently.

            "Not anytime soon…" Lily muttered exasperatedly.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "_Cutest Couple _Award goes to Sirius Black and Savannah Turner!" Dumbledore said, finishing up the awards.  Savannah and Sirius went up to receive their award.  "_Most Likely to Succeed goes to Severus Snape!" Dumbledore said as a lot of the other people groaned as Snape went up to accept.  "And finally __The Male Forever Friends goes to…" Dumbledore was naming the very last award, "…Sirius Black and James Potter!" Everyone cheered and the two boys went up to accept it with grins and bows. _

             "And now for my long, boring speech I'm sure some of you want to hear and the rest of you _don't want to hear," Dumbledore joked.  Everyone turned to him and either sat down at a table, or continued standing off to the sides.  Lily, Savannah, Allie, Kaitlynne, Remus, Peter, Sirius, Daniel, Josh, James, Avril, and her best friends Georgette Crimson and Todd Huffy all took one of the biggest tables in the room.  "Tonight is the moment of truth to what has been hidden these past five years in everyone's lives.  People have obviously been very busy these past five years and I congratulate __all of you. Out of the forty people that had graduated five years ago, there are three Aurors in the room, two teachers, three doctors, two actors, an actress, a model, three singers, three journalists, a photographer, two authors, a student who's on the ministry council, an owner of a restaurant, a land-creature researcher, a physicist, a sea trainer, a medicalist, a dragon specialist, an owl specialist, two housewives, two waiters, a secretary, an owner of a bookstore, an assistant manager at a joke shop, and I bet you all know who that is," Dumbledore said as everyone turned towards Sirius who grinned, "And finally the worst fate of them all, unfortunately…there are four deaths."_

            "Okay, I'm leaving," Daniel whispered to Savannah, who laughed.  

            "I would like to recognize those special four people who entered our lives and changed us forever," Dumbledore continued.  Danny's eyes started to glisten, and Savannah noticed, but she wasn't about to tell him that.  "These four exceptional people had made us smile, made us frown, made us laugh, made us cry, made us angry, made us happy, made us change on the inside and on the outside and they made us who we are today.  Can we please just take a minute and recognize those four wonderful people: Jackson Carl Ritso, Cody Theodore Valentino, Leigha Heather Vancouver, and Minnie Jennifer Juniper."

            Daniel couldn't handle it anymore and stood up quickly and scurried out of the Great Hall.

            "Danny, wait!" Savannah cried after him, not caring if the whole Great Hall was staring at her now.  She ran after him and followed him outside to the lake.

            He stood next to the lake, looking up at the beautiful moon and the bright, shining stars thinking about his wife…or his _dead _wife, as he thought about it haplessly.

            "Danny?" Savannah whispered, from a good distance behind him. 

            "I never even had a chance to say good-bye," he said barely audible, on the verge of tears.  

            Savannah had to step closer to hear him.  "Oh, Danny," she said, rubbing his shoulders.

            "I mean, I saw her off at the airport and I watched her drift out of my sight thinking she'd be back in two and half months with a smile on her face, creating a smile on _my face. I'd see how beautiful she was and how I couldn't wait to have her for the whole summer…instead, a month later, those thoughts came crashing down.  I miss her…and I try to get over it, but every night I see her face in my dreams and I start trembling again.  I'm trying to forget her…it's just not working."_

            "Daniel, you don't have to forget her.  She was your _wife.  But you do have to let go.  You have so many more opportunities heading your way, and you're being tied down.  It's not fair to you at __all."_

            Daniel sighed.  "I know, Savannah."

            That took Savannah by surprise.  "But then…"

            "Why do I still think about her _all the time and why don't I do anything about it?  Because I can't help who I love and unfortunately I can't help who dies.  I can only help myself right now…and that's one person too many."_

            "No, it's not," Savannah said.  "You've got plenty of people who care about you and plenty of people who don't want to see you hurt."

            "I know, but those people scare me most.  I mean, what happens if someone else close to me…dies?"

            "Don't think about _that, Danny.  Think about everything up to then.  Do you want to go through life scared or do you want to go through like with a happy smile on and having __fun?"_

            "That's not the point, Savannah."

            "Do _you know the point?"_

            He turned to Savannah slowly and shook his head.  "No, but I'm willing to find out."

            "And I'm willing to _help you."_

            "Savannah, I never told you this…in fact, I never told _anyone _this, but…well…I guess you could day that it's hard to let go because I'm not letting go of _just _her."

            "Huh?"

            "Two days before she left back for college, she told me she was pregnant," he said with a sigh.

            Savannah gasped.  "Are you serious!?"

            He nodded, as a lump formed in his throat.  "Yeah, and all I can think of _now is that You-Know-Who took away my chance to have a child.  My chance to be a _father_.  And an even greater chance of being a better husband."_

            Savannah had _no idea what to say to him at that moment, and instead just walked over to him and gave him a long, gentle hug expressing how she felt and they ended up sitting out there talking for a good, long hour, not realizing it._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Fifty minutes after Dumbledore's speech, Sirius was off to the side after a talk with Remus, wondering where Savannah was.  "Remus, where's Savannah?  I've only dance with her _four times tonight and I haven't talked to her much, either."_

            He shrugged his shoulders.  "I don't know.  Sorry."

            "That's okay," he said.

            "Ask Lily.  Or maybe James will know."

            He nodded as he walked over to Lily, who was talking to Allie and Josh.  "Lily, where's Savannah?"

            Lily thought about it but ended up shaking her head.  "I'm not sure.  I haven't seen her for a while."

            "Oh.  Thanks anyway," he said with a grateful smile.

            "What about you guys?" Sirius asked Allie and Josh, who shook their heads.

            "Sorry, Si," Allie said.   

            He glanced around the room, hoping for a glimpse of her, but when he couldn't find her still, he went to the corner near the exit door where James was with Avril.  "Hey, James, have you seen Savannah lately?"

            James shook his head.  "Nope, sorry.  I haven't been noticing much tonight."

            "Except Lily," Sirius mumbled under his breath, turning around.

            "What?" James asked.

            "Oh, nothing," Sirius said sweetly, just as Kaitlynne entered through the main entrance.  "Oh, hey Katyi.  Have you seen Savannah?"

            "Oh, yeah.  She's still outside with Daniel," she replied with a smile.

            Sirius stood there stunned, but said, "Okay, thanks."  Savannah had to have been out there with Daniel for more than an hour!  He couldn't believe that she'd rather talk to Daniel, than dance with him.  

            He stormed outside to see Daniel and Savannah in a kind-hearted embrace.  

            "Hey, I swear I know you from somewhere," Sirius said, pointing to Savannah.  "Ugh, I just can't put my finger on it.  Oh, wait!!!  That's right, you're my _girlfriend_!  Or I thought you were."

            Both Savannah and Daniel looked extremely confused, and Daniel stood up.  "I think I'm going to go back inside," he said slowly.

            "Wait, Dan-" Savannah started.

            "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea," Sirius said, cutting her off, so Daniel walked back inside with a confused look on his face.

            "Well, _that was rude!" she immediately stated._

            "_You _should be talking!!" Sirius cried.

            "_What!?"_

            "Well, I've been looking for you for a while now and once I find you I see you with your arms around Daniel…_the only guy you've been spending time with tonight!"_

            "What are you talking about!?  He just needed some support so I was giving it to him!"

            "I know, Vannie, but I haven't spoken to you practically all night," Sirius explained.

            "Just wait until _your wife dies and __then see how it feels, Sirius!!!  He just needed a friend and guess what?  _I'm a friend!!!:_ _

            "Well, you kinda forgot about your boyfriend, Vannie! You could've at least _told me you were out here!"_

            "Whoa, so now I have to check in every five minutes, _father_!"

            "Well, it would be _nice to know where you are once and a while!"_

            "Omigod!" Savannah cried.  "I am _not _having this conversation with you, Si-Si!"

            "Yeah, well I'm having this conversation with _you_," he said.  "I hate that when I come outside I find you talking to Daniel…no, make that _hugging _Daniel."

            "Do _not take this out on him, Sirius Black!  Just because you're jealous-"_

            "Whoa, jealous?  Why would I be jealous of _him?"_

            "Because I've been hanging out with him!  You _just said that!!"_

            "No, maybe _you're just being _selfish!_  I wanted to have fun tonight!  You know, chat, eat, dance, and just have fun…with _you_.  But I've barely spoken a word to you all night.  You've been spending too much time with _Daniel_!"_

            "_Just shut up about him_!!" Savannah cried.  "This isn't about _him, it's about __you!!"  And she shoved right past him and stomped back into the Great Hall.  She barely entered, when Sirius grabbed her arm and pulled her back._

            "_How is this about _me!?" Sirius cried, so that a quarter of the people in the Great Hall were turning their heads in their direction.  "_You're the one who doesn't seem to care!!"_

            "I care _plenty about you,but that doesn't mean I want you standing over me watching __me when I'm hanging out with…_friends_!"_

            "How would you like it if I spend the whole rest of the night with some other girl??"

            "Do whatever you want Sirius Black!  If that's supposed to make me feel bad, go right ahead and _try _to prove me wrong!" she yelled, so now half of the people in the Great Hall were staring.  "In fact, I would _love _you to do it because I would _LOVE TO SEE YOU HUMILIATED!!!_" she screamed and everyone was staring at them now.

            "FINE, MAYBE I WILL!"

            "FINE, SEE IF I GIVE A DAMN, SIRIUS BLACK!  IN FACT, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT MAYBE YOU CAN THROW YOURSELF INTO A DUMPSTER AND MAKE MY JOB A LITTLE EASIER!" Savannah screamed, before whirling around and walking across the room towards Kaitlynne, Remus, Allie, and Josh in one corner, and she left a smirk on Sirius' satisfied face, who was walking towards Georgette Crimson.

            "Oooh, boy," Remus muttered from one side of the room. 

            "Uh-oh," Lily mumbled, from another corner.

            "And yet another break-up," a grinning Snape muttered from behind Lily.

            "Shut up, Snape," Lily said, turning around.

            "Oooh, sticking up for you friends once again, I see.  And this time no James Potter to bail you out."

            "I don't need anyone to bail me out.  I need you to get out of my face."

            "Let's see…maybe I will…if you dance with me once."

            Lily was about to laugh in his face, but had a better idea.  "Hmmm…" she pondered with a sweet, _innocent smile.  "I think I'd rather run over a goose in the woods, throw it into the mud, pluck all of his feathers out of his body, and then _kiss _it before I even __touch that dance floor with you," she replied, spinning around and away from him._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Ugh!  Lily, he's just being paranoid and stupid and…_jealous_," Savannah was explaining, not caring that Sirius was on the dance floor with Georgette, and _has been for the past thirty minutes._

            "He just doesn't understand," Lily explained.

            "I know!  And that's what annoys me most about him!!!  Why doesn't he just trust me!?"

            "Guys really need to learn how to do that," Lily mumbled disgustingly, staring over at James.

            "Huh?" Savannah said, realizing she was staring at James.

            "Nothing," she said.

            "You know…you never actually told me what happened with you and James," she said slyly.

            Lily sighed.  "This isn't about me."

            "I'm tired of talking about my problem.  I don't care what Sirius thinks.  He just needs to get over himself.  Tomorrow morning maybe I'll find the chance to talk to him.  Not right now, though, because we're both angry and I don't want to say anything we'll regret.  So, let's talk about you for a moment."

            "James…er…he got jealous that I was hanging out with a bunch of Andy's guy friends the day after we all thought he had died."

            "Seriously???" she cried in disgust.  "That's so stupid!!  First of all, you didn't know he was dead and you weren't about to make-out with some other guy," she said, "…right?"

            Lily laughed.  "Of course not, you dolt!" 

            "Okay, and then second of all, I figure you just wanted to have a nice evening without thinking of him, anyway, right?"

            Lily laughed again.  "You know me so well, Savannah."

            "Ugh, why are all guys jealous when their girlfriend hangs out with someone else!?" she cried frustrated.  "I don't care if he hangs out you, or Kaitlynne, or Allie, or…or _Georgette_."

            "Yeah…why is he hanging out with her?" Lily wondered, glancing over where Sirius and Georgette were dancing together, smiling and laughing.

            Savannah rolled her eyes.  "He thinks that I'll get jealous for ignoring me and for him hanging out with her all night because of the whole Daniel thing.  He's trying to prove me wrong, and I think it's stupid.  It's just all part of his dumb plan," Savannah explained, rolling her eyes again.

            Lily looked past Savannah at Sirius, and her eyes clouded over.  "Um…was _that part of his plan?" Lily asked nervously, pointing towards him._

            Savannah turned around and saw Georgette and Sirius on the dance floor, swaying to a slow song…and _kissing………………._

**A/N: **Uh-oh……………I know, that was hard to write.  I love Savannah and Sirius together!!!  But this is a fanfic…I've got to add _some suspense and heartbreaks in there!  But it's just getting good.  You've got to keep reading to see what happens!_

Upcoming events in next chapter:

~Sirius and Savannah…what's going to happen?  

~James and Lily…do they make up?  Or do they keep their distance…

~Sigh…more jealousy.  Will they ever learn!?

~Whatever happened to the 8 best friends????

~Christmas plans?  Huh!?  KEEP READING!


	13. Back to Your Heart

**A/N: **Wahhh……I wonder what's gonna happen next!  Keep reading as things start getting mixed up and _people _start getting mixed up :( :(  R/R!

**Disclaimer: **Read previous chapters…

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER13: Back to Your Heart****

Written by ByeByeBirdie (formally known as Foxy)  

            Savannah shut her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to keep the tears from coming.  She thought about it and she should have realized that one day or another, Sirius Black was going to hurt her for a sixth time, she just refused to listen to that voice in the back of head…until now.  So instead of being angry…she was just upset.

            ……Upset that she didn't listen to that voice sooner.

            Savannah looked up and caught Sirius' eye, and he pleaded to her with his eyes, stepping out of Georgette's grasp and coming her way. Savannah wasn't sure what to do at this point.  So as he walked towards her, Savannah abruptly stood up and walked the other way, out of the Great Hall, out into the courtyard under her favorite willow tree by the lake where she sat hugging her knees.

            Besides Lily who was standing there, Remus, Kaitlynne, Allie, Josh, Peter, and Daniel had all witnessed the kiss between Sirius and Georgette.  And not _just them, but Snape, Malfoy, and everyone on the dance floor witnessed it as well.  And the professors all witnessed it and even some of the _house _elves witnessed it!!  And if no one saw it, then they knew about it about five seconds later as everyone was whispering to each other furiously _about _that kiss.  _

            Sirius sighed, knowing that kissing Georgette was the dumbest thing he's ever done…and he's done some pretty dumb things. Lily stood there glaring at Sirius, who felt the same way that Lily described.  This was the _stupidest thing he's ever done.  He finally got what he wanted—Savannah—and now, he just ruined it through a little thing called _JEALOUSY!__

            Sirius walked towards Lily who pursed her lips angrily out at him.  He plopped into the seat next to her and put his head into his hands.  "I messed up, didn't I…"

            "Oh, _big time," she commented, with a smirk on her face.  "Why are guys __always jealous of us hanging out with other guys?  Can't we have guy friends!?"_

            "Huh?  What would you know about that??  Why do you care anyway?  Wait…what are you talking about?" Sirius asked, confused.

            "Because it's what happened between James and me," she muttered.  

            "_WHAT!?"___

_            "_Yeah, I was hanging out with Andy's friends, trying to forget about James, and he accused me of cheating on him!"

            "But…that's just…well…I don't know…you…" Sirius sighed.  "Wow, guys are pathetic."

            "Oh, definitely.  But I guess you would know."

            "I messed up worst than I thought."

            Lily nodded with a smirk.  "And I'm not sure why you're sitting _here when Savannah's outside."_

            He sighed, and looked at Lily, knowing that she was somewhat upset with him at that point.

            "Sirius, it wouldn't be that bad but you're always the culprit...and she's always the victim.  _She's _the one who's always getting hurt.  She's probably not going to trust you again, Sirius, so if I were you, I'd get out there right now before she hates you even more."

            Sirius sighed, knowing Lily was right.  "Okay."  And he headed outside where he saw Savannah hunched over on the other side of the lake. 

            Savannah heard footsteps behind her and knew right away who it was. "Leave me alone, Sirius."

            "Savannah, let me explain," he said softly.  They both knew it wasn't good when they were back on their real names.

**_It's not that I can't live without you_**

**_It's just that I don't want to try_**

**_Ever night I'll dream about you_**

**_From the first day we say good-bye_**

**_If I wasn't such a fool_**

**_Right now I'd be holding you_**

**_There's nothing that I wouldn't do_**

**_Baby if I only knew_****__**

            "Why?  So I can sit here and pretend I'm doing fine when the both of us know that this is killing me inside?"

            "Don't pretend to do _anything.  Let me just tell you what I need to tell you."_

            She refused to let him say anything, so she stepped in herself.  "Sirius, I'm not mad…well, I'm not mad right _now_, at least.  I'm just upset.  You've hurt me so many times before and I should have realized it was going to happen again.  I think I was prepared for this…I just didn't _want _it to happen.  I thought you changed, Sirius…"  

            "Savannah, you have every right to be mad _and _upset with me," he said, taking them both by surprise.  "I did a stupid thing and I shouldn't have done it.  I was just being pathetically stupid.  I wasn't thinking.  I'm not going to yell at you to forgive me, because I know I wouldn't forgive me if you kissed another guy.  I'm going to walk back inside as if nothing happened…even though I lost the one girl that means the most to me," he explained. 

            "I trusted you this time…and it backfired."

            He sighed.  "I know, and I don't plan on you trusting me ever again."

            "I hope you wouldn't."

            "I only have one more thing to say, Savannah, and you've never known this, but…I love you, Savannah Turner.  I always have and I always will."

            Savannah gasped a little.  They had never said that to each other, and it meant a lot to her.  She realized that she hadn't been wasting her time with Sirius all these years.  Unfortunately it just wasn't enough.  If he loved her that much he wouldn't have kissed another girl to try and prove a stupid point…that ended up _not being proven at all. _

            By now the tears were streaking down her cheeks…not of sorrow exactly; but not of happiness either.  "Sirius, I wish I could agree with you but right now…it's just not enough," she whispered back, sniffling.  "I can't deal with this anymore…I hate this…"    

**_The words to say_**

**_The road to take_**

**_To find a way back to your heart_**

**_What can I do_**

**_To get to you_**

**_And find a way back to your heart _**

            "I know," he said, turning around to walk back inside, but half-turned around when he walked a little ways.  "Savannah, don't hate _me.  I wouldn't be able to deal with that.  I know you don't forgive me for hurting you five times in my lifetime, and in fact I don't forgive myself, but I can't deal with you hating me."_

            "Sirius, I don't hate you…and I never will," she responded.  

            He smiled, unbeknownst to Savannah.  "Thank you." 

            "I just hate this situation…"

             "I know…"  

            He was going to turn around, but found that he couldn't.  Instead, he couldn't help but stare at her, hugging her knees, and staring into the lake.  He messed up…he messed up big-time, and he didn't know how to fix it.  All he could do was stare at her from afar……

            Savannah took a deep breath in and just sniffled a few times before saying, "What did I ever do to deserve this?" she barely whispered.

            Sirius sighed, a single tear rolling down his cheek, as he abruptly turned to walk back into the Great Hall, suddenly realizing he had just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.  _Nothing_, he thought to himself.  _You don't deserve this…and you don't deserve me…_

**_I don't know how it got so crazy_**

**_But I'll do anything to set things right_**

**_'Cuz your love is so amazing_**

**_Baby, you're the best thing in my life_**

**_Let me prove my love is real_**

**_And made you feel the way I feel_**

**_I promise I would give the world_**

**_If only you would tell me, girl_**

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            James saw Sirius ahead of him walking into the Great Hall and called after him.  "Sirius!  Sirius, wait up!"

            Sirius turned around, still with a glum face.  

            "Wow, who died?"

            Sirius looked at him strangely.  He'd think that James would have heard about the kiss and the argument before.  Sirius just sighed.  "I did a stupid thing."

            "Don't you always," James joked.

            Sirius didn't even show any sign of a grin on his face.  "No, this was beyond stupidity.  This was like… 'Throw me into a pit of fire I should be dead' kind of thing.  Or a '_Kill _me, I'm Stupid' kind of thing.  Or even a 'Why did God wake up this morning and decide to ruin _my _life' kind of thing.  You know it even could fit into a 'Where's Voldemort at a time you need him' category!!"

            "That bad?"

            "This belongs in the 'Stupid Things Sirius Black Has Done and Will Completely Be Oblivious To for The Rest Of His Life' Hall Of Fame."

            "You mean, you think you can top cheating on Savannah with Campbell Sparks?"

            "Oooh, worse that that."

            "Oh, God.  What happened?"

            "I kissed Georgette…right in front of Savannah."

            James gasped…and slapped Sirius in the back of the head. 

            "OW!"

            "Sirius, what the hell did you do _that for, you idiot!?"_

            "Good question," Sirius, said, still massaging the back of his bruised head.  "I was trying to prove her wrong…instead I just proved her right.  And _not in a good way."_

            "Yeah, no _shit 'not in a good way!'" James cried._

            "Ugh, don't _you be mad at me either."_

            "I'm not _mad…just confused.  I mean…why?  Why would you do it?"_

            "Because I was jealous she was hanging out with that loser, _Daniel_ all night, and ignoring me."

            "Oh…yeah, she _did spend a lot of time with him tonight."_

            "Yes, I know!!  And know she hates me…actually, she doesn't hate me, but she's not too fond of me now."

            "Truthfully…_I'm not too fond of you right now."_

            "Yeah, Lily's the same way."

            James nodded, not wanting to talk about her…realizing that their break-up started with jealousy, but he didn't mention it. 

            "But I guess I can understand that," Sirius commented.  "She's had a lot of problems in the field of jealousy," Sirius continued, staring at James coldheartedly, his frown getting worse.

            "What are you talking about?"

            "Does being really jealous of Lily hanging out with a bunch of guys in California ring a bell?" James jaw dropped.

            "You _know about that?" James asked._

            "Lily told me before," Sirius said. James sighed.

            "Alright so I was jealous and got upset before I realized what I was saying. I _definitely should have told you about that before you went and did the same with Savannah," James clarified. "Although knowing you, it wouldn't have mattered."_

            "What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

            "Oh c'mon Si! You're stubborn and you're the jealous type," James explained. "But kissing another _girl _in _front of her? How could you be stupid enough to do __that?" _

            "I was angry that she wasn't hanging _out _with me!" Sirius said. "I do dumb things when I'm upset…and when it comes to relationships…and when it's with Savannah it's just so much _harder." _

            "_Relationships _are hard," James said.

            "Oh what do you know? I don't see you going out with Lily," Sirius said. "In fact I hear she's still mad at you."

            "I know! But I wasn't as bad as _you," James said.  "Especially considering I haven't hurt her _six times!_"_

            "Oh don't you _dare br-" Sirius started but stopped himself. "Look, I'm already in a fight with like everyone else I know; please don't start with me."_

            "I know, I know. But look I'm not fond of what you did okay? Let's get that straight."

            "_I'm _not even fond of it so I doubt that _you _are fond with it," Sirius said. James smiled.

            "Okay, try to have fun the rest of the evening," James said. Sirius snorted.

            "Yeah like _that's gonna happen," Sirius said sarcastically._

            "Just try," James said and walked away. 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            He definitely didn't have fun that evening…which may have something to do with the fact that he didn't even _try to have fun.  He sighed for the zillionth time that night as he saw Savannah on the other side of the room throw her head back and laugh.  At least __she was back to normal._

            "Hi," someone said from behind Lily.

            She turned around and saw James standing there.  She barely smiled at him, before turning back to looking at Sirius, who was watching Savannah, who was watching Daniel.

            "Lily, do you think they're going to get through this?  Or are they going to be their stubborn selves and pretend like the other is Snape?"

            Lily sighed, and turned back to James.  "I don't know. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.  Especially with them."

            "Well he cheated on her in their past relationships and they've made it through," James clarified.

            "Yeah, but I'm not so sure this time."

            "I know what you mean."

            "I mean, he kissed another girl right in front of her!" Lily said. "God, I can't believe he would _do that."_

            "Hey, you can't blame it all on _him. It takes __two to break off a relationship."_

            "Yeah, him and the dumb blonde, Georgette!" Lily defended.

            "Sirius is the jealous-type and we _both know that…"_

            "But you would know all about jealousy," Lily grumbled angrily. __

            "What are you _talking about?"_

            "Well I _think you are the one that ruined our relationship, Mr. Jealous."_

            "That's not true!!  I didn't want us to break-up!!"

            "Oh, right, and _I did??"_

            "You're the one who broke it off."

            "Yes because my boyfriend, who I've known for about twelve years, _didn't trust me!!_  Knowing that you thought I wasn't being honest hurt me more than anything, James!  Why the hell would I _want to cheat on you!?!?  I was in love with you, you goddamn jerk!!"_

            James looked over at her angered face and replied calmly, "Are you still?"

            Lily wasn't expecting _that and she abruptly picked her head up from her looking at the floor.  "What does it matter??"_

            "I just want to know."

            Lily sighed and looked him directly in the eye.  "I don't know," she said breathlessly.

            James looked up, trying not to feel the rip of his heart breaking in two inside of his body.  "Oh."

            "It's been over a year, James," she said calmly.  "You haven't even _tried to talk to me about it or anything."_

            "I have _too tried," James said. "And I'm trying right __now. I'm trying to get _us_ to talk about it."_

            "_Us?__ There _is___ no us, James," Lily exclaimed and stormed off. James just stood there stunned for a second._

            _Why the hell do I care about what she thinks?  She's out of my life now.  I shouldn't even think about it, _James thought.  _Unfortunately, the one girl who shouldn't matter…matters the most.___

****

**She's out of my life**

**I don't know whether to laugh or cry**

**I don't know whether to live or die **

**And it cuts like a knife**

**She's out of my life **

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "So are _any of our friends getting along tonight?" Kaitlynne asked Remus as she leaned against his chest after watching Lily and James's argument._

            "You and I are," Remus said with a grin. Kaitlynne laughed and kissed him lightly.

            "Well _that's obvious," she said and Remus smiled widely._

            "Peter's getting along fine with everyone but he's annoyed that Sirius isn't in a good mood…as we _all are, but it's understandable," Remus said._

            "And Sirius and James are always best friends, nothing can ruin that, right?"

            "Well James did get kind of mad at him when Sirius told him all the idiot things he had done in the last few hours but then he was defending Sirius when he was over there with Lily so they're fine…like usual," Remus said. Kaitlynne sighed.

            "When did things get so complicated?" she wondered.

            "When Savannah and Sirius decided to date for the hundredth time…or maybe when Lily moved half-way across the world…or maybe when Sirius did yet again a _dumb _thing," Remus said with a smile. Kaitlynne smiled back at him and Remus tightened his grip around her. 

            "You don't think…you don't want…are we going…" Kaitlynne tried saying but her face became red with embarrassment and she stopped. Remus didn't say anything waiting for her to continue but she didn't.

            "What…" Remus said.  "Continue."

            "I was just gonna ask if you think we'll ever be like them," Kaitlynne said the red tint still in her face. 

            "What do you mean…" Remus asked slowly.

            "We won't break up horribly and fight like Sirius and Savannah or get really jealous and yell at each other like James and Lily…will we?" she asked. Remus turned her around so she was looking at him and held her hands very tight.

            "I don't think we have anything to worry about Kate," Remus started. "I love you _sooo much and I would _die _for you. I'm not stupid enough to be jealous like my two best friends. You have always known that I was quiet and different from Sirius and James." Kaitlynne said._

            "I don't have to worry at all when to comes to you," Kaitlynne said with a sweet smile. Remus kissed her and then led her out onto the dance floor. 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Ugh," Sirius groaned. 

            "What is it Padfoot?" Peter asked.

            "They make me sick," Sirius said.

            "Uh…who does?" Peter asked.

            "Kaitlynne and Remus," Sirius said and both Peter and Sirius laughed a little.

            "They have it perfect, I have to admit," Peter said. 

            "Yeah they're so lucky," Sirius said with a sigh.

            James walked over to Sirius and Peter with a sullen look on her face.  "Don't they make you sick?" James asked, referring to the same two people.  Sirius and Peter laughed.

            "Sirius _just said that," Peter said._

            "They have it _so perfect," James said._

            "And _Peter just said _that_," Sirius said._

            "I'm so jealous of them," James said.

            "Ugh, don't say the word jealous," Sirius said. They were silent for a few seconds. 

            "We'll find that, right?" James asked his friends.

            "Of course we will," Peter said, not too sure.

            "Hey don't look at me, I _had that," Sirius said with a sigh._

            "Yeah well I had it a year and a half ago," James said with another sigh.

            "Why'd you two give it up?" Peter asked.

            "Because I was stupid," they both answered instantly. 

            "Admitting is the first step," Peter said. 

            "Oh shut up," they said with a laugh and Peter joined them, laughing nervously. 

**_So what's the glory in living?_**

**_Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore?_**

**_And if love never lasts forever_**

**_Tell me, what's forever for_**

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "We will never be the eight best friends again will we?" Allie mumbled to herself, looking around at all the tension going on in the room and how her oldest friends have been causing it all.  

            "I doubt it," a voice said coming up from behind making Allie jump. 

            "Oh hey Lily," Allie said and then sighed. "I really thought that when we were all out that night at that restaurant it was truly going to be like Hogwarts. The eight of us together again hanging out, getting into trouble, annoying the people around us. Like the good 'ol days."

            "It _was," Lily defended._

            "Not anymore," Allie sighed.

            "You're right…it doesn't seem as if that will ever happen again," Lily finished for her, with a heavy sigh. "Sirius and Savannah aren't really _mad _at each other, just kind of upset and Savannah is getting close to Daniel. I don't even _know _what I think about James but whenever I get around him I become angry and frustrated again. Kaitlynne and Remus might start a whole new life without us because they're getting married, but who knows. Peter has been so distant it's hard to believe he's even alive anymore. And you're married to Josh and your life has changed."

            "But I don't think any of _us have changed," Allie said. "We all still have the goofy, wild, outgoing, spontaneous teenager inside of us and I think that won't change."_

            "But it seems as if we won't be goofy, wild, and outgoing to_gether_," Lily said.

            "Exactly," Allie said. "My life with Josh is amazing but I can't help wanting my Hogwarts years back...even if I _did hate Josh. It's like instead of a __Hogwarts Reunion we need a __Marauder and __Honorary Marauders Reunion."_

            "But is that a good idea?" Lily asked.

            "There's only one way to find out…" Allie said with a shrug. Lily thought about that. 

            "It can't hurt to try…right?" Lily said with a shrug, but somehow she was afraid that it _would _hurt someone or more than one person to try it. 

            "That's it.  For Christmas, I am having a reunion when Josh goes off to Scotland to visit his parents.  I'll make you all come, and we are going to go to Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley and to the bars and to Karoake and to pool and to bowling and play Quidditch and watch movies and not get any sleep until we all burst because of all of the fun we have."

            Lily laughed, realizing how much she wanted to do that.  "I think we should do it.  It would be so much fun."

            "And you know what?  We can stay at my Aunt Kris's and Uncle Jackson's mansion for a week because she's going to my parents', also."

            "Their house is awesome!" Lily cried.

            "What's awesome?" a voice said from behind.

            They both turned around to find Kaitlynne and Remus standing there.  "I'm having a Marauder and Honorary Marauder reunion over Christmas and you both _are coming," Allie demanded._

            "We don't get a choice?" Kaitlynne teased.

            "Nope!" she said.  "Hey, I'm planning this four months ahead of time.  Don't make any new plans!" 

            They all laughed as someone asked, "New plans for what?"

            "Hey, Savannah.  I'm having a reunion at my aunt and uncle's mansion during Christmas week."

            "And all this time I thought that the next holiday was Halloween," she asked, and they all laughed.

            "Okay, what's so funny?" James asked, walking up to them.

            "Reunion.  Aunt and Uncle's mansion.  Christmas," she shortened.

            He laughed.  "Thinking ahead, are we?" he said, winking at her.  They all half-expected Sirius to jog over and ask what was going on but instead Dumbledore made an announcement, explaining that it was the last song and dance of the night so get on to the dance floor for "That's What Friends Are For" sung by Dionne Worwick, which was now put in the record player filling the speakers and the room with slow music.

            "Let's go dance, hon," Remus said to Kaitlynne who gratefully accepted.

            "I've got to go find Josh," Allie said, walking away.

            "Hey, Savannah, do you want to dance?" Daniel asked, coming up behind everyone.  She nodded, and walked on to the dance floor with him.

            And then there were two…plus a horrible, awkward silence.  Almost _everyone in the room was on the dance floor with someone else, including all their friends since Sirius was now walking out with Avril Harper.  Sirius decided dancing with Georgette was a bad idea.  Lily knew it was bad when she looked over and even saw Snape and Malfoy dancing with two Slytherin girls!!!  There were only two other people off to the side.  A Hufflepuff guy who had a broken leg, therefore not wanting to dance.  And a Ravenclaw guy who had mono and no one was willing to go near.  And then there was Lily, a wildly fun and popular woman who was beautiful and smart and shouldn't be standing off to the side __not dancing.  And then there was James, also wildly fun and _definitely _popular who was one of the most perfect bachelors there…and he was standing off to the side._

            "Lily?" James suddenly found the urge to say.

            Lily turned to him, knowing perfectly well what was coming next.  "Yeah?"

            "Do you want to dance?"

            Lily smiled and nodded.  "Gladly."

            So there they all stood all close to each other sending smiles each other's ways.  Remus and Kaitlynne, dancing rather close to each other; Allie and Josh, dancing very comfortably; Savannah and Daniel, dancing in a friend-type of way with Sirius shooting glares at them; Sirius and Avril, dancing somewhat awkwardly, but close enough to make Savannah a bit nervous; Lily and James, who refused to look at each other but were dancing like they've always done in the past; Peter and Georgette who were dancing rather far apart from each other, but dancing enough to be having a good time.  

            "This seems so…familiar," Lily whispered, not realizing she said it out loud.

            "This reminds me so much of the last dance from graduation," James whispered back.

            "'Friends Forever...the Graduation Song,'" Lily mumbled, talking about the song by Vitamin C.

            "Exactly."

            "Except we were both crying by the end and hugging each other close like we've never done before," she pointed out.

            "I could be crying now," he said bravely.

            "Huh?"

            "I lost my best friend, Lily because of a stupid thing," James said, talking about her.  "I never meant to hurt you in any way and I did a stupid thing.  But I don't want to lose our friendship because of it."

            Lily took a deep breath in.  "I don't want to lose you either," she said, surprising both of them.  "In fact, I want to be friends.  If not for us, then for the rest of our friends who know we're making excuses not to see each other.  I hated you for a while last year, I'll admit it, but I don't anymore.  I'm past that, and it would be nice to see your face more often than once a year."

            "I was hoping you'd say that," he commented, giving her a short hug.  It definitely felt good to be back to where it all began, and they both knew that if they couldn't be dating…friends was better than nothing.   

**_Keep smiling; keep shining_**

**_Know that you can always count on me for sure_**

**_That's what friends are for_**

**_For good times and bad times_**

**_I'll be on your side forever more_**

**_That's what friends are for_**

****

****

****

****

**A/N: **L poor Sirius and Savannah…but yay for James and Lily!  Next chapter gets a little hot and heavy…coughcough…a bit sad, if you ask me.  I wonder what is gonna happen!?   I'll keep updating if you keep reading and reviewing!!

Oh, those songs: "Back to Your Heart" by 98 degrees 

"She's Out of My Life" by 98 degrees

"What's Forever For" by Billy Gilman

 "That's What Friends are For" by Dionne Worwick

Oh, and there are a few subtle FRIENDS lines in there.  Does anyone see them!?  (or maybe I'm just a complete FRIENDS freak…)


	14. Been There, Done That

**A/N: **Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!  Another chapter!  You all just have to keep on reviewing and these chapters will be able to be posted sooner!   Hehe!  Okay, well this chapter is a bit…sad, I guess.  A bit depressing, in a way.  WARNING: Things will be happening in this chapter that you guys may be shocked at, but it's all part of the whole story!!!!!!!!  Just read and you'll see… Oh, another WARNING: This ending is a cliffhanger…well, _kinda_.  More like a cliffhanging surprise!  You'd never believe that this could happen!  But anyway (u prolly don't read these, so I shouldn't bother even mentioning anything—or do you read author note's?  hmmmm…. haha lol)  Moving on!  READ AND REVIEW! (thanx to all of those who reviewed last time!)

**Disclaimer: **Read previous chapters…   

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER14: Been There, Done That ****

Written by Foxy  

****

            The last song of the night ended, as well of the last dance of the night, and they all cheered and clapped and hooted and hollered to their excellent DJ, before Dumbledore made a good-bye speech.  They weren't looking forward to being reminded that it was a good-bye…

            "I'm saying good-bye to you now, but this isn't it.  I hope I will see you all frequently over the years, and in ten years, I hope I'll be seeing you all back here for another reunion!  I bid thee farewell and all the luck to every single one of you here today.  I hope your future is filled with many achievements and much fun!"

            Everyone clapped and cheered again, and they all started dispersing towards their brooms in the courtyard, or the Hogwarts train, or to the fireplace in the dungeon.

            Savannah had come with Sirius by Floo Powder, but now she realized she didn't want to go home with him.  Well, she _couldn't go home with him was more like it.  She didn't know how she could stay with him…_

            She sighed, deciding that maybe she'll take the Hogwarts Express back to the station and hopefully apparate back to the studio in Canada, since she couldn't apparate to school, and walk the extra mile back to school. 

            Savannah, Sirius, James, Lily, Remus, Kaitlynne, Peter, Allie, Josh, and Daniel all met at the entranceway to bid their good-bye right then before heading back home.

            "We've got to catch the train back to the station," Josh explained.  "We didn't come by Floo Powder."

            "Oh, I think I'm headed towards the train station, also," Savannah said slowly.

            Everyone stared at her bewildered.  "But…" Lily said.

            "I'm just going to apparate back to Canada tonight, I think," she explained quietly and awkwardly, staring at the ground, refusing to look at Sirius or anyone else.

            "But you still have two more days here in England!" James protested.

            Sirius didn't say anything because they both (and everyone else) knew that she wasn't going to stay with him tonight.

            "I know…but…where would I stay?" she asked, again uncomfortably.

            "Come stay with me," Daniel offered.  "I still have two bedrooms free.  You could use our guest room."

            Wow.  Sirius got extremely angry with steam shooting out of his ears, daggers coming out of his eyes, his teeth gritted together and his fists clenched so rough that his knuckles were white. 

            A.k.a.—He was mad!! 

            Savannah didn't seem to notice.  "Oh, really?? That would be so kind, Danny."

            "Hey, in fact…well, this may be a crazy idea, but it suddenly just hit me.  After next week, you got to find a place to live in England, right?" Daniel said, oblivious to the eight glares shooting his way, knowing what was coming next.  "Well…how about you move in with me?"

            Sirius, James, Peter, Remus, Josh, Lily, Kaitlynne, and Allie all dropped their jaws simultaneously and stared at him in complete shock, not believing he had just asked her that.  

            "Oh, I couldn't do that," Savannah argued.  "I wouldn't want to intrude."

            "_Intrude_?" Daniel said with a hearty laugh.  "No way!  It would be fun.  It's been quiet since…since Minnie passed away and it would be nice to have a roommate living with me for a while.  You especially," he commented.  And the jaws just kept dropping and dropping and the eyes just got bigger and bigger.

            "Well…" Savannah said, thinking about it.  "It _would be nice to come back to England and live here.  Especially in Godric's Hollow.  It would be a lot easier living with a friend, also."_

            "Then do it," Daniel convinced her.  "It would mean so much to me if you did.."

            "Wow…this means so much to me, Daniel," Savannah agreed.  "I'd…well, I'd absolutely _love_ to move in!"

            And the jaws hit the floor and the eyes all popped out of their sockets…oh and Sirius blew up…or at least it looked like it.  

            "We'd better hurry up or the train will leave without us," he pointed out.  

            "Bye guys.  I'll see you guys around and I'll write to you when I get a chance," Savannah said, waving good-bye to all of them, unaware of their expressions on their faces.  Daniel and Savannah walked off then.

            "Oh, my _GOD!!!" Lily cried in disgust._

            "What the _hell?" Josh cried._

            "They're _living together now!?" James cried._

            "Please tell me I didn't witness that," Kaitlynne said.

            "I'm dreaming, right?" Peter commented.

            "Somebody pinch me," Allie muttered.

            "What were they thinking!?" Remus cried

            Sirius didn't say anything as he felt as if a hundred knives were just stabbed into his body, but by the pained look on his face, everyone knew he was hurt by what had just happened.

            "She'll come to her senses, Si," James said, patting his back.

            "No she won't.  I'm suchan idiot, though.  Just because I was a jealous freak who got so pent up with anger doesn't mean I had to sabotage our damned relationship."

            "I'm not sure how to say this," Lily started.  "But the way she's acting with him…I think you had every right to be jealous," she commented.

            "I just didn't have every right to kiss some other girl," he finished.

            "Well…no you didn't," she said uncomfortably. 

            "It doesn't matter, though.  What's done is done," Sirius sighed.  "She'll have to swing by my house sometime, though.  Her stuff is at my house.  I'll talk to her then."

            "Promise me there won't be any yelling involved," Kaitlynne pleaded.

            "I don't _want there to be any yelling," he pointed out._

            "But there will be," James added and Sirius glared at him, even though he knew perfectly well that there was probably going to be some. 

            And with that, Sirius, Peter and Lily went downstairs to the dungeon fireplace.  James and Remus and Kaitlynne walked outside towards their broomsticks.  And Allie and Josh ran to the train that was just about to leave, and took a compartment _away from Savannah and Daniel._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Late, _late that night, about three-thirty in the morning, Sirius heard someone sneak into the house quietly.  He sighed, knowing perfectly well that it was Savannah.  He tiptoed out of bed and into the hallway down to the guest room, where she stood with her back towards him, packing up all of her things._

            "Packing so soon?" Sirius finally said, leaning against the doorframe.

            Savannah jumped a mile and whirled around.  "Sirius!!" she hissed.  "What are you doing up??"

            "You're not exactly the quietest person.  I advise you never to become a burglar."

            "I was never _planning on it," she snapped, before turning back to her stuff._

            "Savannah, stop.  Can I talk to you?" he asked, walking closer to her.

            She looked up from the nightstand to give him a hurt expression.  "No," she finally responded, before turning towards the drawers full of clothes.

            He walked over to her and put his hand on her arm to stop her from what she was doing.  "Please?"

            She took a deep breath, and tore her arm away from him.  "What do you want?" she asked with an annoyed look on her face.

            "I thought you said you weren't mad at me."

            "I'm not.  I'm frustrated."

            "Well, don't be."

            She laughed in his face.  "How can I _not be, Sirius Black!?  Or did it all slip your mind the events of this absolutely horrendous evening?"_

            "No, trust me, it will forever be implanted in my mind, but-"

            "_What _will???" she coiled in disgust.

            He turned to her with an unhappy look on his face. "The hurt expression on your face when I looked up afterwards."

            "You mean the one I _always give you?" she said._

**_If there's a prize for rotten judgement_**

**_I guess I've already won that_**

**_No man is worth the aggravation_**

**_That's ancient history; been there, done that _**

            He sighed, fighting back the urge to yell at her.  "I made a mistake."

            "A stupid one."

            "Yes, but-"

            "A pathetic one." 

            "I know, and-"

            "A dumb one."

            "You're right, but-"

            "A senseless one."

            "I know!  But-"

            "A foolish one."

            "_Savannah!" he cried.  "I _know_!!  I made one of the hugest mistakes in my entire life and I can't take it back!  But, please don't leave here never wanting to speak to me again. I don't think I could deal with that."_

            "Sirius, I don't plan on that happening, but don't expect me to call you up and ask you if you want to hang out someday.  And don't expect me to owl you every week of what happened the past week and what I plan on doing in the upcoming week.  And don't expect me to throw my arms around you every time I see you again.  And don't expect me to…to actually forgive you for what you did."

            Sirius sighed.  "I don't expect any of that.  All I want from you is…is a smile and a promise that you'll be okay."

            Savannah sighed.  He made it sound like they were acting a part in a play…but he was good at it.  She forced herself to look up at him and when she did, a smile automatically escaped to her lips just thinking about him.  "Sirius, I'm going to be fine.  I just hope that in the end, you and I will regain our friendship like we always end up doing."

            "We don't end up having a friendship…we end up trying out the relationship again," Sirius pointed out. 

**_I thought my heart had learned its lesson_**

**_It feels so good when you start out_**

**_My head is screaming 'Get a grip, girl_**

**_Unless you're dying to cry your heart out!'_****__**

            Savannah sighed.  "That's not going to happen," Savannah said softly.

            "I figured you'd say that," Sirius said.

            "And I know I always say that but this time I'm serious," Savannah said. "But I hope we can end up as friends."

            He smiled quickly. "That would be so great."

            "Good," she said gently.

            "I'm going back to bed now, but take your time cleaning everything up and I hope you have as much at _Daniel's as you did here," he added, trying to be nice, but making a face at the name 'Daniel.___

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

And then wedding bells were ringing…

            It was Remus' and Kaitlynne's wedding with Peter as the best man and Allie as the maid of honor.  Lily, Savannah, Kaitlynne's two sisters Penny and Vanessa and her cousin Marjorie were all the bridesmaids.  James, Josh, Sirius, and Remus' cousins Timmy and Zeus were his ushers.  Penny's daughter, Sara, who was only five, was the flower girl and Timmy's son, Nathan, who was seven, was the ring-bearer.  Their wedding was held in a beautiful Catholic church that they had found right by a peaceful river in England.  It was big enough for both of their families, friends, relatives, teachers, and neighbors to sit in and it was a perfect day to get married.  The sun was high in the air and there was a crisp, cool breeze in the air, which was very enjoyable to everyone.  The reception was being held at Kaitlynne's grandmother's house, which had a huge backyard with a lake, a swimming pool, tennis courts, a volleyball net set up, and a huge amount of lawn for people to dance and chat and talk and eat and have fun.   

            Most of the younger kids went straight for the pool and the teenage kids went for the rowboat near the lake.  The older adults and Remus and Kaitlynne went for the dance floor.  And…the younger adults went straight for the volleyball net and got competitive playing around in their dresses.  That included James, Sirius, Lily, Savannah, Allie, Josh, Daniel, Peter, Penny, Vanessa, Marjorie, Timmy, Zeus, and a few other people, and in the end there were sixteen people wanting to get a volleyball tournament going.  

            Allie made a mental note to set up a volleyball net in the bubble outside her Aunt's house for the Christmas reunion.

            James, Sirius, Lily, Allie, Daniel, Peter, Josh, and Savannah were one team, and Vanessa, Zeus, Penny, Penny's husband Kaleb, Kaleb's friend Shaun West, Marjorie, Timmy, and Timmy's wife, Kendal were another team.   

            "Okay, we agree that the losing team has to go up there and sing Karoake later this afternoon?" James settled, almost positive that they'd win.

            _Being out there in the sun wearing their dresses, which were becoming very dirty and sweaty, reminded them all of their early Hogwarts days when they didn't care what they looked like or acted like and just had fun. _

            "SPIKE IT!" Lily cried to Sirius, who did just that.

            "7 vs. 5!" Allie cried, serving the ball.

            _In Hogwarts, they would get in trouble and would never care what their punishment was, just as long as their agenda included fun._

            "Aww…can Joshie-poo not handle a little bid of mud splattered into his eye?" Allie said, laughing after the ball bounced and splattered mud all over him.

            "Oh, you are so dead!" he cried, immediately running over to her and chasing her.

            "EEEEK!  JOSH GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THOSE MUD-COVERED HANDS!"  she shrieked, laughing at him, trying to run away.  Eventually, he tackled her and threw her into the pool with her beautiful blue maid-of-honor dress on.  She just laughed it off and pulled him in with her. 

            _In Hogwarts, they would jump into the lake with their robes fully on whenever it got unbearably hot, knowing there would be consequences, but definitely not caring._

            "_Dive for it, Savannah_!"Daniel cried, and dive she did and saved it and won them a point.

            "YES!" Sirius cried.  "And yet another point for the High and Almighty Britainteers!" Sirius cried.

            "Hey, I never agreed to that name," Lily said, and they all laughed.

_            So there they were, back to the early, good ol' days where no one worried about relationships and no one cared who kissed who or who cheated on who.   _

            "Oooh, it looks like the Little Britainteers are falling behind a little," Penny commented and everyone laughed.

            "You're going to have to do better than that!" Kaleb cried.

            "Eighteen vs. sixteen!!" Kendal cried, before serving.

_            They all seemed to forget and not care about what had happened in the last year and a half between Sirius and Savannah and Daniel and Minnie…and James and Lily as they relaxed over a nice… competitive game of volleyball.  They were having fun.  That's all that mattered._

            "_SPIKE IT!_" Vanessa, Zeus, Penny, Kaleb, Shaun, Marjorie, and Kendal all cried at Timmy who had a perfect set-up to win them a point…and win them the game.  He spiked it and James, Savannah, Sirius, and Peter all went for it, hitting each other's heads and missing the ball.  Everyone laughed as the other team started screaming up and down.     
            "_YES!" they all cried.  "We won!  We won!"_

            "Yes, Timmy!!   Good shot!" Vanessa cried, giving him a huge hug. 

            "_HAH!  _You have to do Karoake!" Timmy said rubbing it in the other team's face.

            "Oh, God," Savannah muttered.  "This should be…interesting."

            "Oh, come on!  We'll have fun with it!" Sirius cried, winking at her.

            "Okay, but _you aren't picking the song this time.  There is no way I'm doing Barbie Girl again!" Lily cried.  (A/N:  I know, I know.  This is the eighties and that song didn't come out for another twenty years, but I don't care!!  I don't want to look up the names of old eighties songs! lol. Deal with it.)_

            "Ow, wow.  I am completely scarred for life because of that one night at Three Broomsticks," Savannah said, shaking her head.

            Sirius and Lily laughed.  They had played pool one night at Three Broomsticks until about midnight.  Sirius and Lily vs. James and Savannah.  Unfortunately, Sirius and Lily had lost miserably and were forced to sing Karoake.  Lily let Sirius pick the song…big mistake!!

            "Aw, come on.  It wasn't that bad!" James defended.  "It was…cute."

            "Cute?" Savannah cried, laughing.  "Sirius falling off the stage into the group of twenty-year old fawning girls was not cute!"

            "Okay, so it was rather…amusing," James said, laughing.  

            "Yeah, and dumb!" she cried.  They all laughed again, as Sirius winked at her with a grin on his face.  He put his arm around Savannah's shoulders and started singing Barbie Girl to her, to which everyone laughed and started singing along.  

            James and Lily both watched Sirius and Savannah together with a smile on their faces.  It felt good to see Sirius and Savannah having fun, hanging out, making fools of each other, laughing, playing, and everything else they were doing together without the jealousy and the anxiety shown on their faces.  In fact, if James didn't know Sirius and Lily didn't know Savannah, they could have even thought that Sirius wasn't still in love with Savannah and Savannah wasn't stubborn to forgive him.  They were all just having fun at the reception, not caring about anything else but trying to have fun.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Well, well, well," Kendal said to Savannah later that night.

            "Well?" Savannah replied with a laugh.

            "You are either dating two men at once and are very good at hiding it…or are dating two men at once and _not very good at hiding it," she replied with a smirk and a grin._

            Savannah laughed.  "What do you mean?"

            "You and Sirius?" she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  "And you and Daniel?  Ring a bell?"

            "Yeah, a _silent bell.  I'm not dating either one of them.  Sirius and I were dating…but we broke up and are now friends, and-"_

            "Friends?" she said with a raised eyebrow.  "Is _that what it's called?"_

            Savanna grinned.  "_Yes_.  And Daniel and I are roommates and have known each other since we were six-years-old. We know everything about each other!"

            Kendal rolled her eyes with a playful grin.  "Fine.  Go ahead and deny it.  But I bet before the year is over, you'll be dating one of them.  And in about…five years, you'll be married to the other."

            "Oh, Miss Psychic?  Are you that sure?" Savannah said with a playful laugh.

            "I am actually."

            Savannah sighed with a grin, not saying anything…mostly because she was hoping that maybe it could come true.  All she ever wanted since she was about ten was to settle down at an early age and have a few kids and live a perfect life.  Unfortunately…it hasn't been the perfect life and she was nowhere near settling down.  She watched Timmy and Kendal…and Kaleb and Penny…and Remus and Kaitlynne throughout the night and wished it were she.  She saw little five-year-old Sara wading in the lake and wished it was her daughter in the perfect little pink frilly dress…with mud stains all over covered in water.  She watched Nathan playing tag with the other kids and laughing and falling down and wished it were her son having all the fun.  Unfortunately, it wasn't her daughter or her son and deep down she was afraid that it would _never _be her daughter or her son she was watching.  

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Later that night, around midnight, Daniel and Savannah left the reception with both of them fairly drunk, but sober enough to know what they were doing and saying.

            "That was fun," Daniel simply said when they apparated into their living room.

            Savannah smiled weakly.  "Yeah, if you like seeing two of your best friends as happy as can be with you sitting off to the side miserable, wishing that it were you that was getting married…oops, did I say that out loud?"

            Daniel gave her a once-over.  "You're not happy?"

            Savannah sighed.  "It's not that I'm not happy…it's that I could be more happier."

            Daniel gave her a sympathetic smile.  "There are plenty of guys out there who'd want you.  I know you're going to marry someday and have at least two kids and have the perfect life you've always dreamed of, Savannah." 

            "How do you _know that?" she questioned._

            "Look at you!  You're smart, you're funny, you're sophisticated, you're beautiful, you're talented, and you're perfect.  You're everything a guy is looking for."

            "What about you?"

            "Huh?  What about me?"

            "You've known me for as long as I could remember.  Would I be the kind of girl that you'd be looking for?" Savannah asked hypothetically.  

            He paused, unsure of what to answer.  Eventually he opened his mouth to speak.  "You _are _what I'm looking for."  And with that said, he leaned in and gave her a kiss on the lips, and Savannah gratefully kissed him back.  "You _have _been for a long time now.  I just didn't know how to tell you."

            Savannah smiled wide.  "You're so perfect for me…_in every way."_

            Savannah couldn't help but think that Daniel would be different than Sirius…_better _than Sirius.  She _knew that Daniel would never cheat on her.  She knew that her life was all starting to come together now…everything seemed perfect now._

            _Perfect…_she thought as she leaned in to kiss Daniel once more.

**A/N: **Uh-oh…scandalous!  gasp!  What's going to happen next !?  You're just going to have to tune in next time to see what happens…

Will Savannah and Daniel stay together?  

What's going to happen between Savannah and Sirius?

NeXt ChApTeR:

--Christmas bells are ringing

--A closer friendship between Lily and Sirius start generating (NO NOTHING WILL HAPPEN BETWEEN THEM!)

--James and Lily have another argument… damn

--A Christmas surprise?  Hmm….

--James and Sirius' friendship shows more next as well yay!

**Disclaimer: **That song was "I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" from Hercules (I LOVE THAT MOVIE!! hehe!)


	15. Til I Can Make It On My Own

**A/N: Yes, yes, I'm baaaaaaaack!  This chapter is somewhat important to the story-line…more happens to Sirius and Savannah (well, not _more_, but you'll see!)  Just keep reading and PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE review!!!  Hehe.  I'm getting a little over-excited if you couldn't tell!  Well, that's all I really have to say for this chapter.  Thanx to all of those who reviewed already!  Keep it up and I'll keep updating (my motivation is YOU GUYS!)**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters…**

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER15: 'Til I Can Make It On My Own****

Written by ByeByeBirdie (Formally known as Foxy) 

About a month and a half later, Christmas came.  Allie had her reunion just like she promised, and even though Sirius was trying to back out of it considering he did _not want to see Savannah now that she was dating Daniel, Allie showed up at his house one day and refused to leave until he said he'd come.  So he pretty much figured he had no choice._

            So on December 22, Sirius, Savannah and Lily showed up at Allie's Aunt Kris and Uncle Jackson's mansion early afternoon.  James, Kaitlynne, Remus, and Peter were planning on arriving later that evening

            "So are we sharing rooms?" Savannah asked Allie when she arrived with her luggage.

            Allie chuckled.  "You've obviously never seen this place.  There are about fifteen bedrooms in the house so we'll all get our own, each with its own bathroom plus three other bathrooms in the house and two kitchens, a living room, a sitting room, a conservatory, a library, a lounge, an indoor pool, a tennis court, an _outdoor pool, a lake, four balconies, and three garages.  I swear if their house wasn't blue, it could be the White House."_

            Savannah's mouth hung open in complete shock.  "Can I live here for the rest of my life?"

            Allie laughed.  "Yeah, but talk about _rent."  _

            They both laughed as they drove up to the front of the house, where two butlers came out to grab Savannah's bags, and behind them were Lily and Sirius.

            "_Lily!!_" Savannah squealed, as she ran up to her and gave her a huge hug.  "I haven't seen you since the wedding!"

            Lily laughed as she returned the hug, watching Sirius from the corner of her eye and she could tell he was feeling a little uncomfortable.  

            "Hello, Savannah," he said, very formally.

            "Hello, Sirius," she replied with a slight nod.

            "We are going to have so much fun!" Allie said, following them all into the house.  They all watched Savannah's mouth drop as she walked in and saw how damn big the frickin' mansion was. 

            "Oh…my…God," she said breathlessly.  "That's it, I'm never leaving."

            They all laughed.  "I'll show you your room," Allie said, leading her to the rounded stairs in front of them all.

            Sirius sighed, once she was out of earshot, and Lily noticed this.  They headed out to the flower garden off to the side.  "What's wrong, Si?"

            "Why did I come here?"

            Lily sighed.  "Because you know how much this means to Allie and the rest of us.  Savannah's just _one person, Sirius.  Please don't ruin this just because she ran off with that back-stabbing jerk, Daniel."_

            "You had to mention it, didn't you…"

            "It was going to be mentioned at some point."

            "I know…but _I want to be the one to love Savannah…not Daniel," he said, with another sigh._

**_I wanna be the one_**

**_The one who makes you feel something real_**

**_The one and only one_**

**_The one who gets down deep—plays for keeps_**

**_I wanna be the one_**

**_The one who talks it through—listens to you_**

**_Please let me be the one_**

**_The one who truly knows you—just let me show you_**

****

            Lily sighed and looked up at him.  "You _are the one who loves her, Si."_

            "No, I'm not _the one…I'm just an outsider looking in."_

            Lily looked up at him with a sympathetic smile on her face.  "Trust me, I'm cheering you on.  But, if I know Savannah, which I do, I know she'll bring him up a thousand times, so get ready to grit our teeth and try to bear it."

            "Why are you so goddamned positive?"

            Lily sighed.  "I'm not sure."

            "No new boyfriend you haven't told me about?"

            Lily laughed.  "No way."

            "And why not?  You're everything a guy could want."

            "I haven't said I haven't been asked out.  I just don't have a boyfriend."

            "So you've dated?"

            Lily paused.  "Well…no."

            Sirius chuckled.  "That's not a surprise."

            "What's _that supposed to mean?" she snapped._

            "I'm not stupid, you know," he started.

            "Could've fooled me."

            "Hey!" he said laughing.  "Anyway, it's obvious that you haven't dated because you still love James."

            Lily closed her eyes and opened them taking a deep breath in and out.  "No, Sirius.  It's because I _loved James that it's so hard to start dating again," she said, frowning depressingly.  Thinking about it him made it all much more unbearable, and she was on the verge of crying although she didn't really know __why she felt the need to cry right then.  Maybe it was thinking about the Holidays…_

            "Aw, come here, Lily-Bean," Sirius said, putting his arm around her.  "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have mentioned anything.  I'm just trying to get off the subject of me and Savannah."

            Lily smiled at him.  "You know…she chose the wrong guy.  I don't know what she sees in Daniel…and why she's forgetting all of your good qualities."

            "I kissed another girl.  Is _that _one of my good qualities?"

            Lily laughed.  "No, but everything else about you is charming."

            "Yeah, but Savannah would rather date a sleazeball that didn't cheat on her that _doesn't have great qualities, than an ex-boyfriend who kissed another girl with _perfect _qualities.  Unfortunately, __that's the Savannah I know."_

            "And that's the Savannah we'll _all know…"_

            "Life's a bitch."

            "Yeah…and then you die." 

            But somehow, dying didn't seem so terrible at that moment, though they were both unwilling to admit it.

            Okay, well maybe dying was stretching it a little…crumbling into a tight ball and being left alone for life—that sounded more reasonable…

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            That night, they _all had a late dinner to which their Christmas week began._

            "Okay, besides Remus and Kaitlynne and Allie and Josh," Peter started, "I haven't heard much about the rest of your love lives.  What's going on in that department?"

            Savannah smiled and Sirius, Lily, and James cringed.  "Well, more than a month ago, Daniel and I started seeing each other more and more often."

            "Of course you did," Sirius mumbled so that only Lily heard who couldn't help smirking.

            "Daniel _Marx??" he exclaimed.  "I was obviously in Norway for __way to long!"_

            "Wish _I was there right about now," Sirius muttered again, and Lily smirked again.  James looked over at her in confusion._

            "What about you three?" Peter asked Sirius, Lily, and James, who pretended they didn't hear. 

            "Guys?" Savannah said.

            "Nope," Sirius replied, very interested in his plate.

            "Nope," Lily replied, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

            "Nope," James answered, picking up his wineglass and ignoring everyone else.

            Savannah was staring at Sirius by now and the rest of them were shifting uncomfortably in their seats.

            "Oh," Peter replied, realizing he had touched on an irritable subject.

            "And I'm _fine, thank you," Lily added to everyone who was staring at her as if she was crazy not be dating anyone.  "I'm just been so damn busy lately, that I haven't had much time to go out and meet people."_

            "What about Andy's friends?" Savannah asked.  Sirius and James glared at her.

            Lily laughed, looking at James and Sirius' faces, but Savannah thought she was laughing at her.  _How could she be so oblivious?  Is Daniel breaking up her memory in a way? _Lily couldn't help but think.

            "No way," Lily replied.  "They're good friends, but they're _friends only," she said firmly staring right at James with a mean look on her face, to which she shook off a few seconds later._

            "So…um…oh!  Peter moved in last week," Sirius said randomly, to break the tension.

            "When that follows the question about people's love lives, it makes it sounds like you two are gay," James pointed out.

            They all burst into laughter.  "No, we are _not gay; we're just roommates," Peter cleared up, and they all laughed again._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            The next two days were full of fun.  They played Quidditch, went to Diagon Alley, went in the hot tub, and played pool so far and they were all panning on doing a lot more that week.  Also, Christmas was arriving. 

             On Christmas Eve, Allie's country club was having a formal in their ballroom, and they were all invited.  They danced, they ate, they laughed, and they had a great time.  Getting dressed up for a Christmas event made them all feel even more excited about spending the holidays together.  In fact, it was as if they were all going to another Yule Ball, like back in Hogwarts.  Well…that's how they all ended up looking at it.  

            Late Christmas Eve, around eleven-forty-five, Savannah sat, hugging her knees, outside on the balcony over the lake underneath the stars with a wineglass in one hand, still in her formal dress.  She looked over the lake and at the bright stars with no emotions.  She thought that she'd be happy that Christmas was so close, but she didn't feel a thing and started wondering if maybe her life wasn't as perfect as she thought it was. 

            "Lily?" she heard a voice cry from behind her.  Sirius suddenly appeared beside her and Savannah looked up at him.

            "Hello," Savannah answered formally.

            "Oh…I thought you were Lily."

            "No, I think Lily is downstairs still with Kaitlynne and Allie."

            "What are you doing up here then?"

            Savannah paused.  "I just wanted to be alone for a little while."

            "Any particular reason you want to be alone?"

            Savannah sighed.  "No."

            "Are you sure?"

            Savannah sighed again with a slight smile, realizing she couldn't get anything by Sirius.  "Well…no, I'm not sure," she replied.  "Have a seat.  I don't bite."

            "I'm not so sure about that."

            Savannah grinned and Sirius hesitated before sitting on the railing of the balcony.  "Sirius…have you ever thought that your life was absolutely perfect and that nothing could make you change your mind?"

            Sirius grinned in the dark, thinking about his life with her.  "Yes."

            "Well…I thought I had it perfect.  I mean I thought that my life couldn't get any better.  I thought I had everything…but now I'm not so sure."

            "What do you mean?"

            "I mean, I have a great job with an agent I love, and a beautiful place to live, excellent friends, and a wonderful boyfriend," she started, and Sirius cringed.  "But…I'm not so sure if that's everything I want."

            _Then want me… _Sirius couldn't help but think.

**I'll need time**

**To get you off of my mind**

**And I may sometimes bother you**

**Try to be in touch with you**

**Even ask too much of you from time to time**

            He said, instead, "What else is there that you could possibly want _and _need?"

            "When I was ten, I always thought I'd grow up and marry the most perfect man before I was twenty-three.  I always thought I'd be pregnant by the age of twenty-four and end up having two more kids.  I even planned out my wedding right down to the church I'd be married in and the ring I would receive and I had the kids' names and I'd have the perfect setting for a house and I'd just be a housewife while me husband worked happily.  And now…it's different.  Nothing is the way I wanted it to turn out.  I'm nowhere near getting married; hell, I'm nowhere near finding the absolute _perfect_ boyfriend.  And I'm sure as _hell nowhere near having a child!!  I have a job and even though it's tons of fun, I never expected myself working.  It's just that…everything's changed since I was that little ten-year-old girl thinking that nothing could ruin my dream."_

            Sirius smiled at her.  "And nothing will," he ended.

            "Then why am I sitting out here in the freezing cold with a long green dress on and a glass of wine in my hand, not married with no kids?"

            "Because your dream is going to come true a few years after planned," he remarked with a smile. "Savannah you're too…smart and funny and beautiful and modest and sarcastic and…_perfect _to _not _have that dream come true."  Savannah blushed as Sirius continued, "You know how I know this?  Because _I_ know the real you.  I know everything about your past and your present.  And I feel as if I know your future, also."  _I just wish I could be a part of it…_

**Now and then,**

**Lord, you know I'll need a friend**

**Til**** I get used to losing you**

**Let me keep on using you**

**Til**** I can make it on my own**

            Savannah blushed again while looking at the ground with a smile.  "Thank you, Sirius.  Thank you for everything," she said emotionally.  "You're different than everyone I know.  You were always the one who made me feel special.  You were always the one who knew what to say.  You were always there…and I don't think I ever thanked you for that.  So…thank you."

            "Don't thank me…thank yourself."

            "For what?"

            "For being you," he said with a gentle smile.

            Savannah looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. 

            For a few seconds, an awkward tension filled the air, which they both noticed.

            "Um…It's getting cold out," Savannah said to break the awkwardness.  "I think I'm going to go back in now," she continued, as she stood up and started walking in through the French doors.

**I'll get by**

**But no matter how I try**

**There'll be times you know I'll call**

**Chances are my tears will fall**

**And I'll have no pride at all from time to time**

            "Why him?" Sirius whispered to Savannah into the dead of the night.

            Savannah half-turned around.  "Wh-what?"

            "Why Daniel?" Sirius repeated, looking at the moon and avoiding eye-contact with Savannah.

            Savannah was definitely taken off guard.  "Why…uh…not?"

            "I mean, there are zillions of people in this world.  Why'd you choose him?"

            Savannah looked over at him, who was still staring into the night up at the moon and the stars.  "Do you mean why him…and not you?" Savannah deciphered, saying it gently and slowly.

            "I didn't say that."

            "But you meant it."

            Sirius hesitated and shut his eyes.  _Don't say anything, Sirius…don't say anything, he repeated in his head.  Unfortunately, when he looked up into the vast sky, he couldn't help but open up._

            "I know…" he whispered, tears suddenly filling up his eyes for some unknown, unexpected reason, which he wiped away quickly.  "I-I don't know what else to say, Savannah…there's nothing else _to say."_

            Savannah looked up at him at that moment and felt terribly guilty.  And she suddenly had the urge to forgive and forget…until a picture of him and Georgette crept into the back of her mind.  She realized she'd _never _forget…but maybe there was a possibility to forgive and trust him again.

            "Sirius…I don't think I ever forgave you for what happened at the reunion."

            "I know," Sirius said sullenly.

            "No, I mean, I don't think I ever told you that I _have _forgiven you."

            That took Sirius by total surprise.  "Wh-what?"

            "Yeah…I'm not sure if I've gone crazy or I'm just plain dumb, but I _do _forgive you and I know I'll be able to trust you again someday.  But just to clear things up…I won't forget."

            Sirius smiled in the dark, unbeknownst to Savannah.  "You have no idea what this means to me.  I mean…I've waited for a long time to hear you say that.  I'm just glad you finally have. Thank you, Savannah.  Thanks for everything," he said with a smile.  She smiled back at him.

            Sirius continued, "And I figured you'd never forget.  I mean, I don't plan on you coming crying to me to take you back in the future, but all I've ever wanted to hear from you is that you finally forgive me. Just to know you forgive me is enough right now."

            "Is it?"

            "Is it what?"

            "Enough."

            He looked over at her and flashed her one of his prize-winning smiles.  "Yes."

            "Why?"

            He glanced over at her and explained, "Because as long as you have forgiven me, then I don't have to feel so terrible anymore.  I've been living these past months with a feeling of guilt hanging over my head just waiting until I could find a way to accept it.  Well…I think it's my time to accept it.  Just…just don't ever leave for four months without writing to me again."

            She laughed.  "I won't…I missed talking to you."

            "I've missed talking to you, too…"

**But they say**

**Tomorrow will be a brighter day**

**But until then, I'll lean on you**

**That's all I have to do**

**'Til I can make it on my own**

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Merry Christmas!!" someone cried while jumping up and down on Lily's bed early the next morning.

            "Mmmm," Lily groaned, rolling over to see who it was.  "Sirius!" she whined.

            "Yes, m'dear?"

            "It's seven o'clock in the morning and you're jumping up and down on my bed.  There's something wrong with this picture."

            "Yeah…the fact that you're not up yet!!" he cried flopping on the bed beside her.  He grabbed her blanket and pulled it over his head.  "I'm not leaving until you get up."

            "HEY!  I'm naked under here," she teased.

            "You _ARE!?" Sirius cried, scrambling for the covers, only to see that she had a long, flannel pink nightgown on.  "Hey, you tricked me!"_

            "I know, but it was very amusing."

            "Hmph.  Okay, now to be fair, you have to take off the nightgown."

            Lily laughed.  "Nice try."

            "Damnit!  Why does that always work with other women and not you?"

            "Because I'm not blonde, I don't have blue eyes, and I don't have large breasts," she teased.

            "Fine, but because you're not blonde and you don't have blue eyes and…wait, you do _too have large-"_

            "Don't finish that sentence!" Lily warned, and they both laughed.

            "Well because you're not blonde and you don't have blue eyes—we'll just leave it at that—" he stated, which made them both laugh again,  "—Then I might have to tickle you until you cry for mercy."

            "NO!" she cried, trying to turn over, but unfortunately he grabbed her, pinned her to the bed and started tickling her, making her squeal and squirm.  

            "EEEEK!" she cried laughing.  "Okay, you know if anyone walked in on us right now, it would not be a pretty pic-" she started before her door opened.

            "Lil-" James said right on cue.  "Whoa…okay obviously you two are very busy.  I'll come back at another time," he teased.

            Lily and Sirius laughed.  "Sirius was just being a hyper, and pathetic, puppy torturing me from my sleeping rights and waiting for presents to be opened."

            "PRESENTS!" Sirius cried, immediately jumping out of her bed and out of the door scurrying down the stairs.

            "Okay, did he forget to take his Ritalin this morning?" Lily demanded to know, still in her bed fully covered by the blankets.

            "Did you forget to wake _up this morning?" James teased._

            "And why are _you up?? You're always the one who's trudging down the stairs at one in the afternoon wondering where your breakfast is."_

            James laughed.  "Yes, but today is _Christmas, and as Sirius would say 'PRESENTS!'" Both he and Lily laughed.  "Anyway, you're the only one who's not up in this huge place so Sirius and I took the honors of waking you up."_

            "Seriously??  I'm the only one not up at seven o'clock in the morning!?  What has this world come to!?"

            James laughed and leaned against the doorframe comfortably.  "C'mon, we're all waiting for you."

            "Looks as if Sirius couldn't wait any longer," Lily teased.

            "Okay, the clock's still ticking."

            Lily groaned.  "Fine, fine.  I'm coming.  Just give me a minute to get changed."

            James nodded and slid down to the ground happily and just looked at her.  "Okay."

            Both of them paused.  "JAMES!" Lily cried laughing.  "Get out!"

            He laughed.  "Nah, I'm fine right here."

            "Yeah, well I'm _not fine with you right there."_

            "And since when have I ever listened to you?"

            "Since about two seconds from now when I'm going to jump out of this bed and chase you down the stairs."

            "Aw, wouldn't that be cute," he said laughing.  "AAAGGGHHH!" he cried as Lily did just as she said she would.

            "And stay down there!" she cried laughing after he took the steps two at a time.

            "Yeah, I love you, too," he said sarcastically with a laugh.

            "I never said I loved you," she said chuckling as she returned to her room.

            "What kind of friend are you anyway!?" he cried up the stairs.

            Lily reappeared at the top of the stairs.  "The kind of friend who wants to change her clothes in private!"

            "Do you need any help undressing!?" Sirius cried from behind James.

            "No, I think I'll manage," Lily said with a chuckle.

            "Are you sure??" Sirius cried louder.

            Lily just laughed and said, "Go back to your breakfast, Si!"

            "Damn her," both James and Sirius said before heading back to the kitchen.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Later that day after a simple breakfast and after opening all of their gifts and after a special lunch, Savannah, Lily, and Kaitlynne headed up to their room to change into warmer clothes so they could all go outside and go for a sleigh ride and go ice-skating and then to the Three Broomsticks for hot chocolate and butterbeer.

            "Hey, what's that, Savannah?" Kaitlynne asked pointing to a box that was in front of her door.

            Savannah shrugged.  "I don't know."

            "Open it," Lily suggested.  "It has your name on it," Lily said pointing to the name on the wrapping paper.

            Savannah shrugged and unwrapped the tiny black box.  She opened it and all three girls gasped.  Inside the box was a real gold necklace with a genuine diamond dangling in the middle from Tiffany's Jewelers.  It was obviously _very expensive, they could all tell, and yet none of them knew who it came from._

            "Who sent it?" Kaitlynne asked, still in complete awe.

            "I-I don't know.  There was no letter," Savannah said with confusion.

            "But…wow," was all Lily was able to say.  "I mean…wow." 

            "Yeah…'wow' pretty much sums it all up," Savannah said breathlessly.

            "Do you think it's from Daniel?" Lily asked.

            Savannah shook her head.  "No, he gave me the expensive watch, remember?  No way would he spend another six hundred galleons on a necklace for me."

            "But then…who would it be from?" Kaitlynne asked bewildered.

            Savannah shook her head.  "I-I don't know.  Maybe my parents or my brother or a cousin or my grandmother or my aunt and uncle."

            "What about a friend?" Lily asked.

            "Well, what other friend?  I mean, Josh is the only other person I could think of," Savannah said laughing.  "And the day he buys me expensive jewelry is the day Sirius forgets how to tell a joke."

            They all laughed.  "I-I just can't believe it," Kaitlynne said shaking her head.  "I mean, who would buy you such an expensive gift and _not _tell you who they are?"

            "I don't know…but I'd sure like to find out," Savannah replied.

**A/N: **Hmm…who could have given her the necklace?  Well, you'll soon find out to the mysterious jewelry!  Anyway, it seems that Lily and James are hitting it off once again…well, you'll just have to see how _that _works out!  I know was kinda short, but the next chapter is longer (and a lot more…er…interesting!!)  REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!  (do I have to keep on repeating myself…because I will!)

Oh those songs: "The One" By Lonestar and   "Til I Can Make It On My Own" by Billy Gillman  


	16. Trouble in Paradise

**A/N:  **Okay, so I lied a bit.  This one is not so interesting and it's not that long…wahh! But you do find out more about Sirius, Savannah, James, and Lily!  Not a _whole _lot!  Just a little bit more!  However, the next chapter coming up is pretty good!  I have to fix it up and change a few things, but after that it will soon be posted!  BE READY!

**Disclaimer: **Read previous chapters.

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER16: Trouble in Paradise****

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            "WATCH OUT!" James cried, as a snowball was suddenly smacked into Savannah's face.

            "I'm sorry, what was that, James?" Savannah said laughing.

            "Uh…I love you?" James said with an innocent grin.  Suddenly a pile of snow was clobbered over his head from the tree above.

            "Oops," Lily said from the tree.

            "HEY!!  Now I'm all wet!" he cried.

            "Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Snow makes you _wet!?" Lily teased sarcastically.  "And all this time I thought it dried you off!"_

            They all laughed and Lily was pushed out of the tree and landed smack down right in the snow.  "Oops?" Sirius mimicked.  He had climbed into the tree quietly from the balcony directly beside the tree, which was outside his room and pushed Lily out.

            Immediately, James pinned Lily down in the snow and started tickling her.

            "_JAMES!!_" Lily cried in between laughs.  "Not fair!" 

            "Now why isn't this fair?" he said, still tickling her.

            "Because you're not ticklish!"

            "I find that perfectly fair."

            "Well, maybe you'll find this fair," Lily said turning James over and hitting him with a pile of snow.

            "Yeah…that ain't so fair," James said after he spat out the snow from his mouth. Lily laughed and got up and skipped away. James just looked at her go. 

            "Pssst Lily, I got an idea," Savannah said from behind Lily. Allie and Kaitlynne were also with her.  Savannah whispered something in Lily's ear and they all grinned evilly. 

            "Okay, we _so have to get them good," Sirius was saying to Remus. _

            "Well we've been out here for an hour and they're already pretty wet…" Remus said.

            "Ugh, you're too nice," Sirius teased. "It's alright to get your wife soaking wet…I mean I'm sure you make up for it in _other _ways…" 

            Remus looked at him in shock and wrestled him to the ground.

            "You're just jealous," Remus teased. 

            "Aha! So you ad_mit it!" Sirius joked. Remus got off of him._

            "Get a life," Remus said with a laugh.

            "Get a _room," Sirius teased, and they both laughed._

            "Alright…ready girls?" Savannah asked them quietly as she saw Peter and James walk over to Remus and Sirius.

            "Hell yeah," Allie said with a smirk.

            "One…two…THREE!" Lily yelled and then altogether, the four girls yelled, "_ISLAMIO__!!" and pointed their wands at the four boys._

            "AGHH!!!" The four boys screamed as a _huge pile of snow fell on top of them. The girls fell on the floor laughing as hard as they could._

            "That's not _fair," Sirius pouted. _

            "We were supposed to get _you this badly!" James exclaimed._

            "Baby Girl…how _dare you do this to me," Remus accused Kaitlynne with a smile._

            "I was talked into_ it!" Kaitlynne said but she was laughing really hard.  _

            "I don't think this was in the rule books," Peter explained.

            "I don't think there _were any rule books," Savannah said to Peter._

            "I don't see what's not _fair about it," Lily said with a laugh. _

            "You guys _do realize what they did right?" James said to his guy friends while smiling at Lily who was returning it._

            "Yeah…got us all _wet!" Sirius exclaimed. James laughed._

            "Nooo…this is what they did when we first _met_," James said with a huge joyous grin.

            "Thought you'd _never remember," Lily said._

            "That's _right! We never _did _fully get you back," Sirius said. "And now we have to get you back even __more." Just then Sirius whispered quickly in the other three guys' ears._

            "I don't like the fact that they are whispering," Savannah said to the girls.

            "Yeah and they're smiling evilly…" Lily said. "That's even _worse_." 

            "_GO!"_ Sirius shouted and before the girls knew what was happening the guys ran up to them and toppled them over and they ended up wrestling in the snow. Now can you imagine this…six adults rolling around in the snow…it was a pretty funny sight, but they didn't care. After fifteen minutes they all stopped and just talked, without bothering to move.  Even though it was cold, it was a beautiful day out and they took full advantage of that! 

            "So…you know what _else happened that day you piled snow on top of us?" James asked Lily quietly so no one else was listening._

            "Yeah…I kneed you in a place that should _not _be hit hard," Lily teased. James laughed.

            "Because I wanted to kiss you under the mistletoe," James said with a smile.

            "What's your point?" Lily said, confused as to what that had to do with anything.

            "I don't know…you guys were just reliving the memory so I was…uh, reminded of it," James said while glancing out of the corner of his eye to Lily.

            "What? You saying we should go find mistletoe and kiss under it like the very first time?" Lily asked with a laugh.

            "We didn't kiss," James said.

            "Okay, fine.  Should we go find mistletoe and _not kiss under it?"_

            They all laughed.

            "I didn't say any of that," James said. Neither one of them said anything while the other started conversations amongst themselves while Lily and James were just facing each other, not saying anything.

            "Okay now things are awkward," Lily finally admitted.

            "Yeah, well they _shouldn't be!" James snapped and then realized what he did. "Oh, look Lily, I'm sorry. I was just say-" _

            "Did _you just snap at _me?!_" Lily exclaimed._

            "Uh…no…well, maybe…okay, yes I did, but I didn't mea-"

            "Why??  It's not _my _fault I'm stuck here with _you_," Lily snapped and then got up and started to walk away.

            "Lily, I didn't mean it like that!" James yelled after her. "I'm just upset that things are like this." Everyone else stopped their conversations to see what was happening.

            Lily turned around to face James, even though she was a few yards away. "Yeah? Well whose fault is that?" Lily sneered and then headed back to the house, angry that the moment had to be ruined.

            "Um…what happened?" Sirius asked.

            "Good question," James said with a sigh. After a few minutes, Sirius got up to go talk to Lily because he knew she was feeling lonely.

            "Knock, knock," Sirius said as he walked into Lily's room. She was lying on the bed staring up at the ceiling.

            "Hey Si," Lily sighed out.

            "There's like a hundred things to do in this house and you chose to stare at the _ceiling_?" Sirius teased. Lily gave him a small smile. Sirius went to sit down next to Lily.

            "I'm not mad at him," Lily said, sighing.

            "I know," Sirius said.

            "I'm not even upset," Lily said.

            "That I also know," Sirius said.

            "I don't know why I got so angry with him," Lily said.

            "I understand," Sirius said. 

            "I'm _glad we're friends and things _aren't _awkward," Lily said._

            "Yes I know, and we both know that you wish you weren't _just_ friends," Sirius said.

            "You couldn't just stop at 'yes I know?'" Lily asked. 

            Sirius chuckled. "Lily, you once loved him…that's impossible to get over," Sirius said. 

            "I know," Lily said. "And I hate it." 

            "We all do," Sirius said.

            "But I hate it most of all," she pointed out.

            "I know.  Unfortunately sometimes the things you want in life… " He sighed.  "…you can't have," Sirius commented, thinking about Savannah.

            "Yeah, I know. Unfortunately," Lily said with a sigh. "Hey, but enough about me," Lily said as she sat up. "I have a question for you."

            "Which is…?"

            "Why'd you give her the necklace?" Lily asked.

            "I…we…she…I…what necklace…to who?" Sirius asked.

            "You're not the only one who knows a few things."

            "How'd you know?"

            "I could tell.  You are the only person I know who would even think of giving Savannah a necklace like that."

            "She deserves it," he said with a sigh.  "Besides, it's not what you think.  I didn't buy it for her for this Christmas especially. I bought it for her a few days after _graduation five years ago and was looking for the perfect time to give it to her.  That time never…well, it never really came.  I just decided to give it to her anonymously instead because she deserves to have it even if __I can't have her.  I saw it years ago and I knew it was made just for her. I didn't want to make a big deal about it so I just didn't say whom it was from. I just think that her and that necklace be_long_ together."_

            "Just like you think her and _you belong together?" Lily asked, falling back on to the bed to stare up at the ceiling._

            "That has _nothing to do with the necklace."_

            "Maybe not…but it has _everything to do with what you think."_

            Sirius sighed and flopped on the bed beside Lily, looking up at the ceiling.  "It doesn't matter what I think.  It's what _she thinks."_

            "Actually, it's not about what _anyone thinks," Lily contradicted.  "It's just about __you.  Period."_

            Sirius sighed again.  "She forgave me last night for what I did at the reunion."

            Lily abruptly sat up.  "You're _kidding_!"

            He shook his head, still staring at the ceiling. "Nope.  It amazed me, too. I just don't understand how she could forgive me for what I did. But it felt good to hear her say that she forgave me."

            "It just would have felt better if she wanted to get back together with you?" Lily suggested.

            Sirius sighed again.  "You know everything."

            "No, it's just because you and I can easily relate."

            "Yeah…and it sucks."

            "I'm so sorry, Si," Lily said, really meaning it. She turned Sirius over on to his front, and sat on his back and started to give him a back massage.

            "It hurts," Sirius said, so quietly that Lily could barely understand him.  Luckily, she knew how he felt so it wasn't a problem to imagine what he had said.  "There's no way I could ever love a woman more than her.  In fact, I _know it's not possible.  Unfortunately for me, she's with Daniel now and I can't do anything about that."_

            Lily started getting teary-eyed, feeling sorry for Sirius…and a little sorry for herself, also.  "This is beyond pathetic.  Here we are, two great people with excellent personalities…single."

            Sirius turned over to face Lily and they both looked at each other sympathetically for a few seconds.  "I know," he said breathlessly.  He grabbed her and brought her close to his body and kissed her forehead like a best friend would.  "Life sucks, doesn't it," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly.

            Sirius tried to ignore his tear-soaked sweater as Lily answered with, "Especially when you're single."

            "I'm trying to make the best out of this Christmas but the only thing that's even remotely fun about it…is seeing you again."

            Lily smiled for once.  "Just me?"

            "I saw the others on Allie's birthday.  I haven't seen you since the wedding.  And in a way, I've needed you.  You're the only one who truly understands me.  You can relate to me and I've needed that.  Since Savannah ran off with that scum-bag, I haven't had anyone to talk to.  I don't know…I guess it sounds crazy, but I'm just tired of people coming up to me and telling me that they know how I feel.  Because they _don't_.  I'm just tired of people feeling sorry for myself."

            "Aww…well, I'm always here.  And it's good to know I'm loved by someone."

            "You're loved by a lot of people."

            "They don't show it very well," Lily said, thinking of James.

            Sirius squeezed Lily's shoulder and kissed her forehead again.  "Why are you so adorable?"

            Lily laughed.  She realized it felt good to laugh.  "Because I'm with you," she replied in total seriousness.

            "Okay, that's it," Sirius said with a grin.  "Next holiday is a holiday for only me and you.  That's the only thing I need right now."

            Lily laughed.  "That's your birthday, and I don't think the rest of the group is going to forget your birthday."

            He groaned.  "Please don't throw a surprise party for me like last year.  I think I still have a major hangover from then."

            Lily threw back her head and laughed.  "I have to admit that you're pretty damn funny when you're totally, inaccessibly drunk."

            Sirius had to laugh.  "Okay, doing a pole dance and a striptease is _not _my idea of being normal."

            "I know…that's why it was funny."

            Sirius laughed.  "You're lucky you weren't Savannah.  _She _was the one I gave the striptease to."

            "Oh, but I think she enjoyed that," Lily said with a laugh.

            "Yeah…I think those days are over," he answered quietly, and Lily gave him a tiny hug.

            They both sighed, realizing that those days were over.  The only striptease they'd be giving would be in their dreams to a stranger.__

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Oh my gosh, that's be_yond _beautiful," James was saying to Savannah about her necklace. Everyone was lying in front of the fire late that Christmas night and the girls brought up the necklace and made Savannah wear it to show it off to the guys. 

            "That must have cost a _fortune," Remus said in awe. _

            "God, _somebody loves you," Peter was saying._

            "It makes you look sooo beautiful and right now you're just sitting here in sweatpants and a sweatshirt," Allie commented. 

            "Who's it from?" James asked.

            "That's the problem…" Savannah said. "I don't have any idea who it's from."

            "No name? No card? No _nothing?" Remus asked._

            "Nada," Kaitlynne informed him. 

            "Why would someone give you such an expensive _beautiful_ piece of jewelry and not tell you who it's from?" James wondered. 

            "Maybe it's not that expensive. Maybe it's fake or something," Savannah said with a shrug.

            "Oh no, that is _definitely real," Lily cut in.  Sirius kept quiet this whole time just looking at Savannah, trying hard to look someplace else. _

            "I'll be right back," Sirius finally said, finding it almost impossible to sit there with Savannah.  It was too hard seeing her with the necklace and remembering that even though it was from him, he wasn't Savannah's boyfriend anymore.

            "Sirius, wait up," James said, following him into the kitchen. "What's up with you?  You seem to have been really distant this whole vacation and not very talkative…which isn't like you at all."

            "Hey, Sirius Black doesn't always have to be talkative," Sirius teased.

            "Okay, who are you and what have you done with Sirius Black?"

            "Oh, I'm Elmo and I threw him over a cliff."

            "Sirius…" James warned.

            "You mean Elmo, right?"

            "SIRIUS!" James scolded. 

            "James!" Sirius cried back.

            "Sirius, stop it and tell me what's going on."

            Sirius sighed.  "I'm sorry, James.  I'm just not too great at the whole, er…male-bonding stuff."

            "I'm not saying we have to bond.  I just want to know what's going on," James teased, and added a laugh. 

            Sirius sighed.  "I hate it...that's all."

            "Hate what?"

            "Seeing Savannah."

            James paused before saying anything.  "Oh.  I've tried to steer clear of that topic of conversation…  Listen, just try to make the best out of everything."

            "Prongs, it's different for me than it is for you.  My ex-girlfriend, the girl I'm head-over-heels in love with is dating some other guy.  At least you still have somewhat of a chance with Lily."

            James winced, not wanting to hear that.  "I lost any chance I had with her last year."

            "I always had the perfect life plan all figured out.  Unfortunately, sometimes life doesn't go along with the plan you make for it," Sirius remarked.

            "Unfortunately, not much _does go along with whatever the original plan was," James sighed._

            Sirius sighed.  "Life sucks."

            "Not all of it.  Think about it.  You've got amazing friends in the other room waiting to be with you.  So why don't we go back in there and play a game of Truth-and-Dare with them?"

            Sirius groaned.  "Is that what they're doing now?"

            James laughed.  "Yep, so get your butt back in there."  __

            They both laughed as they sauntered back into the huge living room.  Remus and Kaitlynne were cuddled up in each other's arms under a blanket in a love-seat, Lily was sprawled out on the floor directly in front of the fire, Savannah was sitting in the chair next to the fire, and Peter and Allie were sitting on the couch together.  James scooted on to the couch next to Allie, and Sirius grabbed a pillow and set himself on to the floor next to Lily.

            "What about favorite Hogwarts memory?" Kaitlynne asked.

            "That's easy: graduation," Allie, Peter, and Remus all answered simultaneously.

            Sirius' eyes wandered over to where Savannah sat, and he was surprised to see that she was staring at him.  They knew they were both thinking of the time Sirius took Savannah up to the Astronomy Tower where a picnic was set up with candles and the ceiling was enchanted with stars and that's where Sirius and Savannah first kissed. 

            James and Lily looked at each other and remembered when Snape pushed Lily into the lake during their fourth year and James went in after her, when they still hated each other.  They both got out, soaking wet, and that's when they realized that they never hated each other but that they've always had feeling for each other. James kissed her and asked her out right there on the spot just as the rain started to pour down in sheets, getting them even more wet.

            "Graduation," Sirius lied.

            "Graduation," James lied.

            "Graduation," Lily lied.

            Savannah sighed, not taking her eye of Sirius as everyone else watched her carefully.  "Um…Graduation," she lied.  

            "Okay, favorite out-of-Hogwarts memory," Peter said, breaking the following awkward tension.

            "The summer after graduation when we all went to Bermuda," Allie answered.

            "Our wedding," Remus and Kaitlynne said, as Remus kissed Kaitlynne on the cheek.

            "Sirius' surprise party last year when _Sirius _got totally smashed and did the pole dance and the striptease," Savannah said and Sirius and Lily exchanged looks and laughed, remembering that they were talking about that earlier that morning.  Everyone else laughed as well.

            "Bermuda," Sirius replied.

            Lily looked over at James who was looking at her, both remembering the time he showed up at her house on June 1 three years earlier kissing her once again.

            "Bermuda," Lily lied.

            James looked over Lily with a yearning inside.  "…Bermuda," James lied.

            "Okay…uh…out of the eight of us, most likely to end up seventy with a realization that they lived a perfect life.  Basically, most likely to succeed," Remus said.

            "Lily," Savannah, Kaitlynne, Sirius, James, Peter, and Allie said immediately after Remus spoke and Lily blushed.

            "What?  Why me?"

            "Oh, come on.  You have a job at _Random House for Wizardry now, the Daily Prophet headquarters in San Diego is asking for you and the San Francisco Prophet is offering you a job as assistant director!!  All three jobs are journalism and all three jobs are perfect for you," Savannah pointed out._

            "And this is what you've wanted to do for the past ten years!!  And you've already got it," Sirius finished.

            "But what about James?  He's an Auror at the office of Sir Sephilia and that's what _he's always wanted to do," Lily pointed out._

            They all turned to James.  "Hey, that's right," Kaitlynne said.

            "She's got a point," Savannah said.

            "Yeah, but I've got _one set job and you've got __three excellent jobs lined up!" James cried._

            "Okay, okay.  So let's just say you _both will end up being most successful," Allie said with a laugh._

            "Okay…stupidest thing you've ever done," Peter said.

            _The time I became a little too jealous…_James thought.  "Becoming friends with you guys," he said instead and they all laughed.  "No, it was probably the time that I put Veritaserum Potion in Sirius' drink," he admitted.

            They all laughed.  "I hated you for two weeks when you did that," Sirius said shaking his head with a grin.

            "Hey, it was all good.  You and Savannah got together because of it," Remus pointed out and they all nodded in agreement.  "Well, I would have to say the time I _didn't buy that house in Slazenger's Borough," Remus said.  "It would be a nice place to live _now_."_

            Kaitlynne grinned up at him.  "Okay…hmm, probably the time that I was stupid enough to believe Sirius when he said that Frederick Gable was still in love with me during our seventh year."

            They all laughed, remembering the time when she went up to him and revealed her feelings for him and he said that he loved another girl.  

            "The time I went out with Snape for a week," Allie said with an annoyed face.

            "Yuck," Savannah said with a shudder, and everyone agreed.  "Okay, um…driving my sister's car into a tree."  They all laughed.

            "Turning Sirius into a frog…without knowing the countercurse," Lily admitted.  They all cracked up, remembering the time on the Hogwarts Express leaving Hogwarts after their first year.__

            "Um…oh!!  Everything," Sirius said, and they all laughed.  "No…the time I told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow and he found out about Remus," Sirius said uncomfortably.

            "Yeah, I would have to say Sirius tops us all off," Lily said with a sympathetic smile.

            "Which isn't so great in the topic of _stupidity_," James teased, with a hearty laugh.

            "Okay…the next person to get married," Allie asked looking at Peter, James, Savannah, Sirius, and Lily.

            "Savannah," James, Kaitlynne, Lily, and Peter answered.

            "Lily," Sirius, Remus, and Savannah answered.

            They all laughed at the different answers.  "Okay, so maybe they'll both get married on the same day," Allie cried, and they all laughed.

            "You guys, this has been one of the best Christmas' ever.  I'm just glad that we could all get together.  The eight of us, I mean," Lily commented.

            "Yeah, thanks, Allie," Remus interjected.

            "I'm glad I did it, too.  We have to do this at least once a year," she said.

            "Sounds good," Savannah agreed.

**A/N: **Okay, another chapter done!  Okay, I just wanted to clear things up: Sirius and Lily will _NEVER _get together…**_EVER_**!  I'm just pointing out that their situation is very similar and they've bonded because of it!  Yay!  Anywho (I'm making that a word!  Just say it—it sounds cool!), the next chapter is simply a filler chapter…except that the end brings a very shocking surprise!  Some of you may hate me for it, but hey, I just go with what comes to me!  Trust me, the next chapter is very important to the whole story, so I'll try to get it posted ASAP!

Please review and I'll be happy                                                                                                                                                                                                    Please review and I'll be happy                                                                                                                                                                                                  Review, and I'll mention your name in the next chapter                                                                                                                                                                         Please review and I'll love you!!!!

(Tune to 'Happy Birthday' hehe!)


	17. Sirius' Birthday Suit

**A/N: **Yes, I'm back.  Okay, so the beginning of this chapter may seem off-topic and strange, but don't skip to the next chapter!!!!!  The end is very important and I'm not even putting down the beginning.  I'm telling you—keep reading!  I know that nothing much has happened in the past couple of chapters, but these next few chapters will be VERY exciting!  Things start happening—things they never thought COULD happen!  Uh-oh…  

**Disclaimer: **Read previous chapters.

**MEMORIES**

_CHAPTER17: Sirius' Birthday Suit****_

****

_Written by ByeByeBirdie _

            Sirius' birthday came and went.  Again, they threw him a surprise party, but this time Sirius didn't get _as_ drunk, yet he still had fun.  They all had fun.  Unfortunately, Sirius couldn't help but think that it would a whole lot more fun if he and Savannah were still dating. 

            And later that night Sirius did what he said he'd do.  He and Lily hung out, just them, in Hogsmeade playing pool and drinking butterbeer and hanging out with Rosmerta for a bit and Lily stayed at his house (her old house!) for the rest of the weekend.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Okay, I swear I _never would have done that if I wasn't this drunk," Lily cried, giggling._

            "But Lily, you _have played Strip Poker before," Sirius reminded._

            "Yeah, because I wanted to humiliate James," Lily said with a grin.

            "Yeah, but instead you ended up getting back together with him," Sirius grinned.

            "That sure was an interesting day," Lily said with a sad look on her face, remembering her youth with James. 

**~ ~ ~ ~ F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

"I fold," Sirius sighed.

            "Oh, I'm totally in," Savannah said.  

            "Okay, place your bet," Sirius grinned, at the age of eighteen, wearing just an undershirt, his boxers and no socks or shoes.

            Savannah looked down at her half-naked self, at the age of seventeen, just wearing a shirt, both socks and her underpants.  "I'll say my shirt," she said playfully.

            "What!?!?" Lily cried in absolute disgust.

            "_What!?" Remus, James, and Sirius all cried with disbelief. _

            "You heard me.  I _know_ I'll win, so I'll take off my shirt…no, in fact, I'll strip _everything off if I lose," she said mischievously._

            "Are you serious!?" Lily cried in absolute shock.  Lily was in a lacy black bra, her jeans, and a sock.  She had lost a dare in the middle of the game, given to her by James, and was forced to take off her shirt or else she never would have taken off her shirt.

            "_Everything!?" Sirius cried, enjoying every minute of this._

            "Oh, it's not like you haven't seen it," James muttered, and everyone else laughed.

            Sirius and Savannah glared at him.  "That's personal information, thank you," Sirius scoffed.

            "That's a yes," Remus said with a grin.  Remus was practically fully clothed, with shorts (and boxers!) an undershirt and both of his socks.

            Sirius threw a pillow at him.

            "Can we get on with the game?" James asked impatiently, just waiting to get Lily back, considering he lost almost every single time against her and was just wearing his boxers and a sock.  He was close to getting her back and he was willing to do anything.

            "Well, what about you, James?" Sirius asked. 

            "I fold," James said.  "I don't think I can afford to lose anything else," he finished, glaring at his ex-girlfriend, meaning Lily. 

            "Oops," she said with an innocent smile.  She looked down at her hand, but she really didn't want to lose anything.  She refused to let James see her with her bra and her panties.  Luckily, she wasn't dumb enough to fall for his charming act and refused to let him ever see her naked.  Which was good, because two months earlier, Lily had found James kissing Charlotte Gilmore in his bedroom and was glad she wasn't the one in his bed with him.  

            She sighed and threw down her cards.  If Savannah had that good of a hand, Lily wasn't about to strip down anymore.  "I fold, I guess."

            "Remus?" Savannah questioned.

            "Hmm…shorts, I guess.  We'll make it a bit more interesting," he said with a grin.

            "Will you strip down if you lose??" Lily joked.

            "No way," he replied immediately with a laugh. 

            "What do you got?" Sirius asked giddily.

            "Four of a kind…_Kings," Remus said with a very joyous smile on his face._

            Savannah's head snapped up and stared at him.  "What did you say?" she asked, burning an evil glare into the middle of his forehead.

            "Uh…Four of a kind of Kings?" he repeated, getting a little scared.

            "NOOOOOOOO!" Savannah shouted, throwing her cards into the air and pounding her fists into the ground before covering her horror-stricken face with the palms of her hands.

            James immediately jumped for the cards and showed them off.  "Oooh, four of a kind…_Queens_," James said with a smirk.  "So close."

            "My girlfriend's getting naked!  My girlfriend's getting naked!" Sirius sang happily, jumping up and down and dancing around the room.  Suddenly he stopped and looked at the group.  "Wait, why is this a good thing again?"

            Lily laughed and James rolled his eyes.  

            "Because you're a guy and you didn't realize that everyone _else _would see her naked, as well," Remus pointed out.

            Savannah still sat on the floor moaning and complaining to herself.

            "I'm such an idiot," she muttered under her breath and into the carpet.  "Why did I have to do that?" she complained.

            "Is someone feeling a little stupid for betting _everything_?" Remus teased,

            "Big-time," Savannah muttered.

            Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  "Hello?  Why is the door locked??" a voice cried form the outside.

            The two guys and the two girls stared at each other with troubled looks.  "Uh-oh," Sirius muttered.

            "_Alohomora!_" a girly voice cried a second later and instantly, Kaitlynne and Allie walked in with a bunch of books in their hands. 

            Kaitlynne dropped a book on Remus' head.

            "What the…" Allie trailed off.

            "Why, hello," Remus said, pretending as if nothing was wrong.  "You're just in time."

            "I'm afraid to know what of…" Kaitlynne muttered.

            "Savannah was just about to strip down naked," Lily informed.

            Allie dropped a book on Sirius' head.

            "_WHAT!?__  No way!!  Not in _my _room, she's not!  All of you, get out," Kaitlynne said firmly._

            "Yes_, mother," Sirius said sarcastically._

            "I don't think that's entirely fair.  We haven't finished the game yet!" Remus whined.

            "Yes, but my friend is not going to embarrass herself in front of a bunch of sexist _guys," Kaitlynne said with a laugh._

            "YES!  Thank you, Kaitlynne!!!" Savannah cried, and everyone laughed.

            "And will the rest of you, oh-so-kindly, put your clothes back on??" Allie asked in disgust.

            "But the round hasn't finished," James pointed out.

            "Oh, well.  Too bad," Sirius said, not feeling sorry at all.

            James rolled his eyed.  "Just because you don't want to see your girlfriend naked, Sirius, doesn't mean the rest of us don't," James teased.

            Sirius threw a pillow at him.

            "The rest of us _don't," Lily snapped._

            "Some do," James said with a grin.

            Savannah threw a pillow at him. 

            "You know what?  You remind me of something," Lily said familiarly to James.  

            "I don't-"

            "Oh, that's right!  You look and act and even _sound like a pig!!" Lily sneered.  "No wonder all of the muggle radios are warning us about the runaway pigs."_

            "Look I was _joking!" James exclaimed._

            "Yeah, but you still act like a pig."

            James glared at her.  "Yeah, well at least I know more about women than _you _do," he snapped.

            "You may know more about a woman's _diaphragm, but I know more about a woman's intelligence."_

            "And ironically, you don't have any."

            "FYI, I am Head Girl because I am the top of my class! I-"

            "I thought you were Head Girl because _Ass Girl _was already taken," James snapped.

            Lily glared at him, and ignored his rude comment.  "As I was saying,, I didn't get it by sucking up and _acting smart…I mean, smart-_assed_."_

            "We're not talking about Snape, _Evans, we're talking about __you."_

            "And _I'm talking about you!"_

            "You don't know anything about me!"

            "No, you see, _that's the problem!!" Lily screamed.  "_I know _everything _about you and I wish I didn't!!!  I think my life would be a hell of a lot easier if I had never even _met __you, James Potter!!!"_

            James stared at her incredulously, not believing that Lily had just said that.  Even though he was mad that Lily didn't trust him at all and he was mad at himself for getting drunk and kissing the Charlotte girl, he still loved Lily and it hurt to hear her say that.  He didn't know what he'd do without Lily.  But he wasn't about to admit that.

            "Fine, if that's the way you want it, don't talk to me ever again.  See if I give a fucking damn, Evans," James said quivering a little, showing a hint of suffering in his shaky voice.  And with that he stomped out of the room, with no clothes on, as everyone else stared at Lily matter-of-factly.

            Lily sighed, and without saying anything else to anyone else, she followed him out throwing on a sweatshirt over her bra wearing, and followed him down towards the commons room.  Then she followed him up to his dormitory and knocked on the door that was slammed in her face two seconds earlier.

            "Go away," he said angrily."

            She knocked more forcefully now.

            "I said go away," he said.

            Lily didn't listen and instead, opened the door and saw him lying down on his bed.

            "Leave me alone," he repeated.

            Lily sat down on the edge of his bed.  "James, I'm sorry," she spat out, realizing how hard that was.

            "No you're not," he argued.

            "Yes, I _am," Lily said firmly.  "My life may have been easier without you…but it wouldn't have been better.  In fact, it probably would have been boring.  If I had to choose one person to get to know the closest, I would choose you in a heartbeat."_

            "Why?" he asked, turning around and facing her.

            "Because you're _the James Potter," Lily said with a smile.  "You're Head Boy, the Quidditch Captain, the Gryffindor _seeker, _a Marauder, second smartest in the _whole _school, and named most popular in the whole school _three _years in a row.  I may already know a lot about you, but you don't give yourself much credit!  I'd like to figure out why.  And besides all of that, you're funny, you're smart, you're sweet, you're sexy, and you're everything a girl could ever want."_

            James looked her directly in the eye and lingered there for a second.  He knew it was all true, but… "You mean, everything…_every other girl wants."_

            Lily looked down at the floor to think about his reply and then looked back up into his eyes.  "No…you're everything _any girl could ever want," she whispered. _

            James felt as if she was leaning in closer, and his heart raced a little as he tried to sooth himself.  "Then why do you hate me?" he dared to ask.

            Lily sharply turned her head towards him.  "I don't hate you," she protested.

            "Then you won't hate me when I do this," James whispered slowly and gently, as he put his hand underneath Lily's chin and tilted it down towards his and leaned in to kiss her.  He was about half an inch away when he looked up into Lily's eyes, which were filled with desire and anxiety.  He lingered there for a second, before placing his lips on top of hers and he felt his heart pounding inside off his body and felt the blood rush to his head.

**~ ~ ~ ~ E N D   O F    F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

             "But that Strip Poker was different," Lily protested.  "Tonight I was playing with a bunch of _people I didn't even know_!  Wasn't exactly my idea of fun," she joked.

            Sirius laughed.  "Yeah, but you won anyway.  I was the one who ended up wearing _only his boxers!"_

            "Okay, that was pretty funny, I must admit," Lily grinned.

            "Weren't you just saying how much it _wasn't _fun?"

            Lily threw a piece of bread at him.

            "Hey, I have something tell you," Sirius said with sincerity.

            "Okay."

            "I think I'm in love with you."

            "_WHAT!?"_

            "No, just kidding, but-" Sirius joked.

            "SIRIUS!" Lily cried, laughing, as she slapped him with her purse a few hundred times.

            "Ow."  _Slap on arm. "Ow." _Slap on arm_. "Ow." _Slap on arm_. "Ow." __Slap on **face****. "OUCH!!"**_

            Lily laughed.

            "No, actually, I just wanted to say thank you.  This has been a great birthday.  I'm not completely smashed, which is a good thing, and I'm still having tons of fun.  The surprise party was great, the pool was fun, the club was great, the dancing was great-"

            "And you even professed your love for me," Lily joked.  "All in all, it's been great!!"

            Sirius laughed.

            "You're welcome, by the way," Lily added.

            "Honestly, I haven't thought about you-know-who since we left my house," Sirius said.  "I've had such a great time tonight with you and I hope that we won't go off to work our separate ways and wait a few months to see or talk to each other again."

            Lily smiled.  "I won't let that happen."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Valentine's Day came and went.  Of course, Lily, Savannah, James, and Sirius buried themselves in their work trying to forget about it.  Remus took Kaitlynne on a cruise for Valentine's _and _her birthday since her birthday was February 12.  Allie and Josh had an coughcough eventful day J.  Let's just say that Allie announced she was pregnant a few weeks later.  

            And then came March.  A month that ended up destroying friendships more…and bringing others closer.

            _Knock, knock_.  Lily was sitting in the living room surrounded by research books and a beer bottle off to the side wearing sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt at eleven o'clock at night when she heard the knock at her door.  She sighed, and slowly dragged her half-asleep self towards the door.  She thought it might be Andy at first, but wondered why he'd be knocking.

            She opened it and Savannah was standing there with a worried look on her face.  "Savannah!" Lily squealed, giving her a hug.  "What are you doing here?"

            Savannah sighed and looked at the ground.  "I need to tell you something very important…I just don't know how."

            Lily gave her a nervous and worried look.  "What's wrong?"

            "Nothing's wrong…I don't think.  I'm not sure."

            "What is it, Savannah?"

            "Lily, I'm…" she started with a troubled expression on her face.  "Well, it's like this…I'm…uh…I-I'm…I…I'm…well…I'm…"

            "Yes, I got the 'I'm' part.  Spit out the rest," Lily said with a distressed look on her face.

            "I-I'm p-pregnant," Savannah said slowly and _very quietly._

**A/N: **CLIFFHANGER!!!  …kinda.  Omigod, what's going to happen next!?!  This is where it gets _really _exciting.  The next group of chapters are very shocking and upsetting.   Warning ahead of time: there will be tears—multiple tears!  Endless bawling, perhaps.  You will find yourselves asking me why and a bunch of you will prolly flame me—DON'T!  You will hate me, but don't blame NOR FLAME me!   Don't flame me until you read on—I know that this isn't how most of you wanted it to work out.  Hell, it wasn't even what **_I _wanted to work out.  But these things come to me and I can't ignore them!  Some things just have to happen—that's just the way it is.  Trust me—this story is my fave so far for multiple reasons and I won't ruin that for my readers.  Life is what life is.  You can't change that—and this is the life of the eight friends who once met at Hogwarts and have continued on with their journeys to self-discovery.  **

Understand this—the next BUNCH of chapters are going to be filled with excitement and shocking discoveries for all of them.  I advise you to quickly read on!   (that is—as soon as I post it….hehe.)


	18. Before We Say Goodbye

**A/N: **Okay, I'm back!  This chapter is quite long…and very important to the plot.  WARNING: Tissues may be needed!!  Okay, I'm gonna make this short because I know you all just want to read: thanks to all my reviewers—you are the ones who keep me going!

**Disclaimer: **Read previous chapters… 

**MEMORIES**

_CHAPTER** 18: Before We Say Good-bye******_

****

_Written by Foxy  _

            Lily stood there in shock for a few seconds before squealing.  "That's so great, Savannah!!"

            Savannah gave her a weak smile.

            "What?  What's wrong?" Lily asked, sensing her uncomfortableness 

            "It's just that…it's Daniel."

            "What?  Oh, no, did he break up with you when you told him?  Did he refuse to have any part in this??" Lily cried angrily.

            "No, he was happy about it all!  He even suggested getting married."

            "You're getting married!?" Lily squealed again.

            "No, that's the thing.  I thought it was the right thing to do and I was going to accept…but it didn't feel right.  I love him, sure, but…"

            "You're not _in love with him," Lily said, completely understanding._

            "Exactly," she said with a sigh.  "He's not the one I'm meant to be with.  I like Daniel a lot and now I feel an even stronger attachment to him, but…well, it's different.  I _never _expected that Daniel would be the one who I have a child with.  I never thought I'd end up with _him."_

            "I don't think you mean that." 

            "Huh?  Of course I do," Savannah said, bewildered.

            "No, I think you just never expected that…well, that it _wouldn't _be Sirius," Lily finally pointed out.

            Savannah was going to object, until she realized Lily was right.  "Is that wrong to think that?  I mean, _I broke up with him and now I'm thinking I should still be with him??  It seems kind-of selfish and shallow"_

            Lily gave her a smile and a slight giggle.  "No, honey.  I've always thought that, too.  When you started dating Daniel, I figured it was just for…well, the sex, no offense.  Until I realized that you really _did _like him.  It just felt weird to be seeing you with someone other that Sirius."

            Savannah sighed.  "Everything's messed up."

            "No, it's not.  Everything's just beginning.  There's nothing to _be messed up."_

            "Yes there is.  I'm having a child with _Daniel, a man I'm not in love with, and the man I __think I'm still in love with is going to hate me when he finds out."_

            "You have to tell him, you know."

            Savannah sighed.  "I know.  I'm scared, though.  Sirius is truly going to hate me forever and forever...in fact, I'd be quite surprised if he didn't just kill me the minute I told him."

            "He's not going to hate you and he's not going to kill you.  He'll just be a bit hurt.  He obviously sees himself with you, also."

            "I know…that's what hurts the most."

            "Don't think about it.  Think about your life ahead of you."

            "Well, now that you mention it, I'm…I'm also moving back to Canada with Daniel, because his firm is moving to northern Canada, which is great for me because my agency is in Canada."

            "So you're moving closer to here?" Lily squealed.  "That's great!"

            "It's great for _you.  I don't think the rest of the group will see it your way," she smirked._

            Lily laughed.  "Okay, but why are you still here when you should be apparating to England right about now??"

            Savannah laughed.  "Thanks for being so supportive, Lily."

            "Anytime, honey."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Sirius barely sat down to his bowl of cereal when the doorbell rang.  He groaned, and trudged to the door in his boxers and hooded _Godric's Hollow sweatshirt, still half-asleep._

            "Savannah?" he said with an obvious shocked expression on his face.

            "Hi."

            "Wh-what are you doing here?" Sirius stuttered.  The last person he expected to be at his door was Savannah...

            "I need to talk to you."

            "Uh-oh.  What happened?  Are you sick?  Are you dying? Boyfriend trouble?  Job issues?  Friend-"

            "Sirius!" Savannah said with a laugh.  "Let me talk."

            He grinned, and sat her down on the couch next to him.  "What's up?  And why are you here so early in the morning?"

            Savannah gave him a weak smile.  "There's no easy way to say this, Sirius, so I'm just going to come out and say it."  She paused.

            "Um…okay."

            "Sirius…I'm…I'm…uh…God, this is hard."

            "I thought you were going to come out and say it?" he teased.

            "Sirius, I'm…well, uh…I'm…"

            "Yeah…" he said, getting a little scared.

            "Uh…I'm…I-I'm pregnant," she said calmly and quietly.

            Sirius sat there staring at her, literally feeling as if his heart had just been ripped out.  He blinked slowly and tried to process what she had just told him.  The problem was…he didn't _want _to process it.  "Wh-what?" he finally said after being speechless.

            She didn't say anything back, and instead turned towards the floor.

            "Daniel, right?" he asked, when he finally had enough courage to speak.

            She nodded, as a lump formed in her throat.  "Yeah."

            "Are you getting married?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

            Savannah shook her head.  "No…I…I don't love him enough."

            "And yet you had sex and got pregnant…"

            "Sirius, don't make this any harder than it already is."

            "Savannah, what else am I _supposed to say??" he cried, feeling the urge to cry, but he held it back.  "Oh, I'm _so _happy for you!  You're going to have a __perfect lifetime with this child and Daniel!  I can't wait!!" he said sarcastically._

            "No, I don't expect you to say that, but I don't expect you to criticize me either," she said firmly.

            "I'm not criticizing you, Savannah.  I'm just…upset, I guess.  I mean, I never thought you'd be telling me you're pregnant…and not have me as the father."

            By now, Savannah was sobbing pretty hard, even as she tried to hold it off.  "I know.  I always thought it would be that way, too."  

            Sirius said nothing.

            "Sirius, I'm trying not to hurt you in any way."

            "I think it's too late for that."

            "I was afraid you'd say that."

            "Savannah, I never stopped loving you," he said calmly.  "That's why it hurts me so much to see you with Daniel.  And now you're pregnant with his child.  I think it hurts more than you actually think."

            "Sirius, I have something else to say, also, that you might not like.  But I have to tell you."

            "Oh, God," he muttered.  "I don't think I can take anymore…"

            "I'm moving to Canada."

            "_What!?  But…but…I mean, you've already taken your love from me …and now you're taking yourself away, __too!?"_

            "I'm sorry.  But Daniel got relocated there, and I have to try and make this work between us."

            "But everything else is here!  Your friends, your family, your _job_!"

            "Sirius, do you really think I'm still going to be a singer on-stage while I'm a hundred pounds overweight because of a child inside of me?"

            Sirius was speechless.  "But…but you write song lyrics.  Doesn't that mean anything?"

            "Not much.  Besides, my agent is in Canada.  I can figure it out there. I'm not exactly worried about _that _now."

            "But…but you're so talented."

            "Thanks, but it's not enough."

            "Savannah, you have so much going for you!  Don't think that because of this child, you're career is going to end up like Steven Broson's!"

            "Who?"

            "The singer who committed suicide."

            "Oh, that makes me feel a lot better," she said sarcastically.

            "What I'm trying to say is that, you're an awesome girl and _Daniel_-" he said with a face, "-is lucky to have you.  You have your whole life ahead of you and don't think that this child is going to stop you.  You're an amazing woman and you can't just give up what you love at the drop of a hat.  I've always believed in you, Savannah."

            "Thanks, but I don't think one person believing in me is going to get me anywhere."

            "I've _always believed in you, Savannah.  I've always __loved you, as well.  Unfortunately, now those feelings are mixed up with a little pain and little suffering."_

            Savannah looked up into Sirius' eyes.  "Sirius…I always thought you and I would end up together.  But now…I'm not so sure anymore."

            And Sirius' heart was once more ripped out and this time smeared all over the floor as if to brag about how heart-broken it was.  He looked down at the floor and shut his eyes tight. A few seconds later, he looked up at Savannah again and saw guilt and pain and hurt and anxiety and worry and uneasiness and everything rolled up into one.  "Why'd you tell me?"

            "Wh-what?"

            "I mean, why'd you come here and tell me if you know this was the way it was going to turn out?"

            "Because I felt as if I _had to!  I broke us off for a stupid reason and now I see that dating Daniel was a pathetic thing to do with you still in the goddamned country and in my goddamned heart!"_

            "_What!?  But _you _broke up with _me_!"_

            "Yeah, because I was _mad at you!  Not because I stopped __loving you!!" she cried, realizing too late what she had just said._

            "Wh-what?"

            "Uh…nothing."

            "You…you still love me?"

            "Yes…no…yes…maybe," she answered quickly.  "I don't know."

            "Yeah, well I know _one thing," Sirius mumbled, before leaning in and kissing her hard on the mouth.  He brought his hands in her smooth, silky hair.  Savannah wrapped her arms around his neck and felt the heat intensify between them.  The kiss quickly turned into more than one special kiss.  It turned into a bunch of extraordinary passion that they've lost for seven months and have found it once again.  It was more than just fireworks exploding in the background.  It was a flood of firing sparks lighting up their affection and their desire for more._

            Eventually, Sirius pulled back as he held Savannah still in his arms.  They were both trembling with emotion and anxiety and they stared at each other with fear before Savannah turned away, feeling a little more than guilt as both of their lips trembled with love.

            "Savannah, stay," Sirius said quietly, still holding on to her arm.

            Savannah was tempted to take him up on that offer until she realized that maybe she'd be wasting her time staying in England.  She started this with Daniel…and she was going to finish it with Daniel.  She wasn't letting off anyone too easily and wasn't letting on anyone too abruptly.  She refused to make any bad decisions this time.

            "I-I can't, Sirius," she said softly, pulling back away from him, as another tears rolled down her cheek.

            "I know you want to," he said.

            "It doesn't matter what I _want.  It's what I _need_."_

            "You _need Daniel?" Sirius asked with raised eyebrows._

            "I didn't say that," Savannah said quickly. 

            "Then why are you following him to Canada."

            "Because he's the damn father of my damn child!"

            "Oh, you sound so thrilled about that," he responded sarcastically.

            "I don't care what you think or want, Sirius.  This is what needs to happen." 

            Sirius sighed. "Savannah, you're not being fair to me or to Daniel."

            "Yes, I am.  You just don't want to think I'm being fair."

            "Savannah-"

            "I have to go," she said, jumping off the couch hastily.

            "No, please, Savannah," he begged, scrambling off the couch.  "No, don't end it here," Sirius said, not noticing the tears that were welling up inside his eyelids.

            "I-I have to."

            "Please, Savannah.  I'll do anything," Sirius pleaded, holding back the tears.

            Savannah turned away as the tears, once again, started falling down her face.  "No…no.  I can't.  I-I'm sorry."

            "If you were really sorry, you wouldn't be doing this," he begged, swallowing hard.

            "No…if I _wasn't sorry, then I wouldn't be doing this.  I love you, Sirius," she whispered._

            "Savannah, I hate good-byes."

            "I know."

            "Savannah _please. Just don't leave," Sirius begged.  "Stay here in England until you can figure everything out.  You can't just leave without knowing it's going to work out.  At least stay for longer than you expect—for both Daniel and myself."_

            "I have to go…I…I have to.  I can't just stay for _you, Sirius even if I want to," she said guiltily.  _

            "So you're gonna leave forever? That's it?"

            "I…I have to," she repeated over and over.

            "No, you don't," Sirius pleaded, with a huge lump formed in his throat.  He could barely talk.  All that came out was a hoarse whisper.  The one thing that he's always wanted is now leaving him…for good.  Nothing seemed fair anymore.

            "Yes, I do.  I need to do this…"

            "No...no," Sirius murmured.

            Savannah tore her head away from the depressed Sirius and walked towards the door slowly and cautiously.

            "Fine, Savannah," Sirius said with hostility lingering in his voice.  "Don't be fair to me, or to Daniel, or even your_self_. But if I can't have you now and I can't have you _ever, I don't think I can deal with __seeing you again…ever. Because I don't think I can handle that.  I can't deal with the thought of losing you. That would be too hard."_

            "Sirius, you don't mean th-" Savannah started.

            "I do.  I hate feeling it, but I do. I mean it with all my heart. I've already been hurt and then you disappear for a while and show up with _this _news…I can't deal with this…_you_ again. My life has been on hold ever since you started dating Daniel and now, I need to move on.  But with you in my life, I can't do that.  Just don't come back…do it for me.  Respect my wishes."

            "Sirius…" Savannah pleaded.

            "Listen, I know I've hurt you in the past before…but this is different, Savannah.  Because I _love you, Savannah, more than anything.  I've always loved you and __will always love you and not being able to be with you…tears me apart inside. It literally __kills me…it hurts too much for words to express," he whispered.  "You complete me, Savannah Lydia Turner, but if I have to live with half of a heart for the rest of my life, so be it.  As long as I don't have the memory of you standing next to me, I'll be able to move on.  Do you remember back in Hogwarts when you asked me what I thought heaven would be like and I said that heaven would be like being with you all day?  Well, it hasn't changed.  That's still a part of me…__you're still a part of me.  I knew that from the moment I met you that we'd be soul mates…unfortunately, things change.  _People _change……..__you've changed.  And now—you're not mine anymore.  And I can't deal with it…and I just __won't deal with it." _

            "Please, Sirius…" Savannah begged, tears springing under her eyelids. 

            "And if I can't have you now or at any time, I'm just going to say good-bye right now.  I can't deal with seeing you again before you leave.  It's just going to hurt even more, and I can't handle it…when it comes to you, I can't be strong."

            Savannah turned her eyes up towards his.  "I'm going to miss you so much.  Good-bye, Sirius," she whispered, barely audible as she turned herself around and descended down the steps where she apparated back to Daniel and her home, trying hard to concentrate..

            "Good-bye," he whispered, a little too softly, as a single tear rolled down his cheek, escaping towards his mouth, realizing this may be one of the last times he ever saw her.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            There was another knock at Lily's door about two hours later.  She got up and already knew who it was.

            She opened the door and saw a soaking wet Sirius standing in front of her who obviously flew his broom to her house, too confused and mentally weak to apparate—there was no way he could have concentrated.  "I was waiting for you," Lily whispered, before Lily wrapped her arms around his waist and Sirius fell into her arms putting his head into her chest and soaking her shirt with tears more than Lily ever thought he could.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

"And you have to call and write us everyday," James said, giving Savannah hug.  Three days later, Savannah and Daniel were in front of their house, getting ready to ride to the airport to get on a plane to Canada.  They were all gathered there…well, everyone but Sirius, saying good-bye to them.

            "As long as you do the same," Savannah replied with a hint of disappointment in her voice.  She couldn't help but glance around every so often.  She knew that Sirius said he wasn't going to say good-bye again, but she was hoping he'd realize it was the wrong decision.

            "Everyday," Kaitlynne agreed.

            "Be careful of this one, Daniel.  She's a feisty one," Remus said with a wink towards Daniel, and they all laughed.

            "Ohhh, I hate good-byes!" Lily said with a groan.

            "Group hug!" Allie cried, and Allie, Savannah, Lily, Kaitlynne, Daniel, James, Peter, Remus, and Josh all huddled into a huge group hug to say one last good-bye.  Savannah couldn't help but think that there was someone missing from the group…

            Savannah took one small peek around her neighborhood and sighed before she piled into the car.  She thought that Sirius would learn that he was wrong…she _hoped _he was wrong.  But she suddenly just realized how much Sirius Black truly loved her.

            "BYE!" they all cried.  "Drive safely!  Have a good trip!" they all cried, as Daniel's car started driving out of sight.

            At the airport, they checked all their baggage, went through security and were sitting at their gate forty minutes before departure time.

            "I'm going to miss England," Savannah said with a weak smile.

            "I know.  It's going to be so different now," he agreed, taking her hand in his and giving her a quick peck on the cheek.  "But maybe Canada won't be so bad.  It can't be bad—we have each other and a baby on the way.""

            "I don't expect it to be bad.  It's just-" Savannah started, but stopped abruptly.

            "What's wrong?" Daniel asked, bewildered.

            "Um…I'll be right back."

            "Where are you going?" he asked.

            She stood up and looked at Daniel and paused before answering.  "To say one final good-bye."

**_Before we say good-bye_**

**_Before we turn and walk away_**

**_Let's give it one more try_**

**_Before we say good-bye _**

            She walked around the cluster of chairs in front of her and walked over to a pillar on the outside of her gate to where Sirius was leaning against it.  "Hey," she said.__

            He took a deep breath in and hesitated before answering.  "Hey."

****

**_Before we close that door_**

**_Before we go our separate ways_**

**_Let's stop and find out why_**

**_Before we say good-bye_**

            "I thought you said it would be too hard to say good-bye," Savannah commented.

            "It is.  I wasn't planning on saying good-bye.  I just had to see you one last time."

**_We've been down this road before_**

**_And we've always made it through_**

**_Will we lose each other?_**

**_'Cause life's hard to handle without you_**

            "I never planned it on being like this, Sirius," Savannah whispered regretfully.

            Sirius nodded, a huge lump forming in his throat.  He could already feel himself choking back the tears.  "I-I know," he trembled.  "But that doesn't mean that I won't stop loving you…because I don't think I ever could."

            Savannah sucked in her breath, and had no idea what to say to that…so she didn't say anything.  Instead, she wrapped her arms around her neck and drew herself closer as she squeezed her eyes shut so that no tears would fall again.  Sirius was surprised, but he eventually wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her closer.  There they stood as people yelled around them, children cried, the intercom buzzed, the stewardesses protested, the mothers scolded, the fathers chuckled, the children screamed, the luggage rumbled, people ate…and yet Sirius and Savannah were completely oblivious to all of that.

**_Before we lose this love_**

**_Before we throw it all away_**

**_Girl, my heart begins to die _**

**_Before we say good-bye       _**

****

            The only thing that mattered at that very moment was each other.  Unfortunately…they both knew it was a good-bye hug and that it may be their last.

            "I love you, Sirius…"

**A/N:  Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!  Are the rest of you crying, too?  I had to grab a box of tissues when I read this—it was all too unbearable.  They belong together!!!!!!!  Wait—this is my story…I can do anything.  Kinda.  Some things just come to me that I can't ignore—including this heartbreak.  You'll just have to keep reading to figure out what happens between everyone.  **

            ****Obvious FRIENDS quote!!  If you tell me what it is, I'll mention your name in the next fanfic!****

            That song was "Before You Say Good-Bye" by 2-Gether, with a few notable changes by me (the other one was a little inappropriate coughcough…)


	19. Forever

**A/N: **New chapter up (obviously).

*************This story does not go along with what the fifth book says about these characters, however I am not going to stop updating this story just because of it.  I still like this story and I want to keep it on the site.  Call it an AU fanfic if you must, but I am STILL going to post this up.  DON'T FLAME ME FOR IT!  I would tell you more, but I don't want to give anything away……******************

Anyway…………………………….I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Let met just say here and now---I HAVE JUST HAD THE BEST THREE WEEKS I COULD EVER HAVE!  Hawaii was incredibly awesome (hot but _definitely _bearable!)  Even my tour around Boston, New Hampshire, and Maine were fun.  In fact, Maine was incredible!  We were staying RIGHT on the harbor (Boothbay Harbor to be exact!) and it was _soooo _nice and everything was soooooo cheap!  I became even closer with the friends in the group I went with (and of course, I'll NEVER forget Ben's organ!!  Of course, my clam chowder and cherry made up for it, right Ben and Bobby?) and we all had such a blast hanging out together!  My birthday was even exciting—my friends on my church tour made it a lot more fun than I could even write about (did you say bum?------No, I said **RUM you idiot!...Or _dumb _now that I think about it…! Oh forget it, just pass the weed------What seed? ------YOU DUMBASS!!)  California was even amusing—the family reunion was actually more entertaining than I thought.  But I love being seventeen and the oldest of ALL of the cousins.  It's great to boss around the obnoxious seven-year-olds who are trying to throw you into the pool (they didn't have much success, thank God!).  But here's the most important part about the past three weeks-----**_I GOT MY LICENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**  (yes I realize that I turned seventeen, but that's the driving age you have to be in New Jersey!!  yes, I hate it, too…….) **

 Anyhow, thanks to all of you who have reviewed the last chapter, and I _know that a whole lot of you are wondering about James and Lily.  Well, you're going to have to be patient!  These things take time and __trust!  I swear to you that it will happen!  _

**Disclaimer: **People/Things you recognize belong to J.K. Rowling.  Everybody/thing else belongs to moi.  

**MEMORIES**

_CHAPTER** 20: Forever  **_(this is technically not chapter 20, but I get annoyed when it's out of order on the table of contents on the top and bottom, so I'm making this chap 20---don't think you're missing something because you're not!****

****

_Written by ByeByeBirdie_

            At about nine o'clock that morning, a knock came at Lily's door and she immediately knew who it was.  She stood up and ran down the stairs.

            "I got it, Lily," Andy said, coming out of the kitchen.

            "No, I already know who it is.  Let me get it," Lily said calmly.  And sure enough when she opened the door a melancholy Sirius was standing in front of her with his broom in her hand.  He dropped the broom to the ground and Lily, once again for the second time that week, scooped Sirius up in a hug as he, yet again, soaked up Lily's shirt with more tears.  

*~*~*~*~*

            "It's already been a month," Kaitlynne complained.  "Why hasn't she written or called or even visited us??"

            "Good question," Lily muttered.  They were all in Kaitlynne and Remus' backyard for James' birthday and Easter, which was the same day that year. 

            "It feels so different without her," James commented.

            "Everything has changed now," Remus remarked.

            "I miss her a lot," Kaitlynne muttered.  Everyone nodded with agreement.

            "And it would be nice to have received some sort of notice explaining where she is and how she's doing," Allie said.

            "That's what hurts the most," Lily said.  "Knowing that she doesn't care enough to even sit down and write a simple four-sentenced postcard!"

            "Hey, guys," Sirius said, coming around from the front with no emotion shown on his face.  They all knew that when they all got together, it reminded Sirius about how much Savannah _wasn't there which reminds him about how much he missed her. _

            They all exchanged worried looks.

            "So how about that damn stock market?" James randomly spoke out

            Remus and Josh couldn't help but laugh as everyone else tried to smirk it off.

            "What were you talking about?" Sirius asked curiously.

            "Football," Remus lied.

            "Queen Elizabeth," Lily answered hurriedly.

            "Hogwarts," Peter fibbed.

            "Strip Poker," James smirked.

            "Dumbledore," Kaitlynne said with a shrug.

            "James' birthday," Allie lied.

            "Easter," Josh stated quickly.

            Sirius looked at all of them strangely.  "Seven-way conversation?" he said skeptically.  "Hmm…lemme guess—you were talking about Savannah…"

            No one said anything and instead all looked up at Sirius with guilty expressions their face and sympathetic smiles.

            "Would you believe we were having a seven-way conversation?" Lily asked, giving it a chance.

            "No way."

            "Oh…well then, yeah, we were talking about Savannah," she said uncomfortably.

            Sirius just nodded as a lump formed in his throat.

            "Everything's different," James repeated from what he had said before, trying to skip over the awkwardness.

            "And we haven't gotten any letters since her move," Allie hinted.

            Sirius looked at her surprised.  "You haven't?  That's really strange.  I mean, _I haven't gotten any letters, but I figured I wouldn't for a while," he said with a heavy sigh.   "I wouldn't think Savannah would do that.  Savannah's not the type of girl who would disappear off the face of the earth from the people who care about her the most…"_

            "We were just thinking that," Lily said angrily with a hint of pain and grief expressed on her face.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            A month later…still nothing.

            "Sirius?  What are you doing out here?  The party's inside," Lily joked, after she found him outside sitting on her deck with a beer in his hand staring up at the moon.  "You're missing out on all of the hott girls."

            "No…I'm just missing on _one hott girl," Sirius whispered._

            Lily sighed, and even though her birthday party was being held inside, she took a seat next to Sirius.

            "What are you doing?  It's _your _party!" 

            "Yeah, but you're _my friend."_

            Sirius sighed.  "I'm being completely heartless and unwilling to forget, aren't I?"

            "Do you really want to know?"

            Sirius didn't answer her question.  "I'm being the guy I told myself I'd never be."

            "And who's that?"

            "I'm brooding over a girl I'm never going to see or talk to again.  I'm sulking over someone that's out of my life.  I shouldn't care, Lily.  I should just be saying 'whatever.'"

            "But you're not, and we both know why.  She may not be in England anymore…but, to you, she's still not gone yet"

**_I'll be loving you forever_**

**_Deep inside my heart, we'll be together_**

**_Even though you took my heart_**

**_And tore it apart_**

**_I will still love you forever_**

Sirius looked over at Lily.  "I know.  I go to sleep at night and she's in my mind.  I wake up in the morning, and she's the first thing I think of.  I walk outside of the house, and she's still in my mind.  I don't get it!!  I mean, I've always loved her, yes, but I never thought I could love her this much," Sirius said painfully.

            "I always knew you loved her that much."

            "Unfortunately…her absence from my life has made me realize it…and now it's too late."

**_You are the sun_**

**_You are my light_**

**_And you're the last thing on my mind before I go to bed at night_**

**_You're always 'round when I'm awake and asleep_**

**_When troubles are on my mind you put my soul at ease_**

**_There is no one in the world_**

**_Who I could love more than you_**

**_That is the reason that I wish I could have spent forever with you_**

"No, it's not too late.  It's never too late to love."

            "It's just too late for her to love me back," Sirius whispered.

            Lily looked over at him and saw the pain in his eyes as he hugged his knees closer to his body.  She wish she could do something to soothe him, but she knew that he just needed time.  Time heals everything…  

            "I just…I just miss her so much," he said barely audible.

            Lily hated seeing him like this, but unfortunately there was nothing she could do and that hurt her most.  "We all do."

            "The thing is…I don't think I can ever deal with seeing her again," Sirius whispered again.  "Unfortunately that's what I _told her I wanted."_

**_We've had the fun_**

**_We've made mistakes_**

**_You have left and now I don't want to see you again, give or take_**

**_You were so much more than I could have dreamed_**

**_'Cuz you make loving you so easy for me_**

**_There is no one in the world _**

**_Who I could love more than you_**

**_That is the reason that I wish I could have spent forever with you_**

            He sighed, but continued.  "And I hate feeling that way.  I mean, I'm so goddamned emotionless.  I haven't laughed in days or even made a joke in days.  I'm not just scaring James and Remus, but I'm beginning to scare myself.  This isn't me.  I'm not supposed to be out here wondering where she is.  Wondering what she's doing.  Where she's going.  What she's up to.  Who she's with.  How she's doing.   If she's happy or if she's sad.  If she's laughing or if she's crying.  If she's whispering or yelling.  If she's awake or sleeping.  But…I'm not even sure if I ever want to find out these things!!  She hurt me so much and now I don't know what to do anymore!!!  I'm not supposed to be thinking these things about her!!  I'm just supposed to be thinking about how she's gone.  How she's not here.  How she'll _never be here."_

            Lily squeezed him on the shoulder.  "These things take time, Sirius.  No one expects anything from you anytime soon."

            "I know no one _else does…but I expect something from myself…and I'm not getting it.  I'm letting myself down more than anyone else has or will."_

            "No, you're not.  This is just a reaction to her absence.  It's not your fault and you _never have let yourself down.  You're just trying to take the blame off of Savannah because you don't want to think that she could do this to you."_

            A single tear rolled down his cheek.  "But…how _could she do this to me!?  Why?  Why me?  What have I ever done to her!?"_

            "…You loved her," Lily answered quietly.

            "And look where that got me," Sirius muttered.  "Now I'm just a sulking prat who sits off to the side of a party and mopes—a party where a year ago I would have been the _life _at dancing with every girl in sight and drinking more than enough beer to last me a month.  I've become the party-pooper, Lils, and you know what's the worst part about it?  Knowing that any party I ever go to will never be the same without her…"

            Lily looked over at him and saw the shining glisten of a single tear in his eye.  She knew what he was going through and yet she felt that it was never as bad.  "Sirius…I-I…" she started, trailing off with a loss of words.

            He nodded sympathetically.  "Don't bother trying to make me feel better," he mumbled heartbrokenly.  "No one can…no on will.  Unless you've got something to heal a broken heart, then I'm just a worthless case."

            "You are _not a worthless case, Si," Lily stated firmly, looking at him with a look that simply stated don't-mess-with-me-because-even-though-I-may-not-be-in-your-situation-now-I've-been-there-and-I'll-always-care-for-you-and-you'll-find-that-in-time-you'll-pick-yourself-up-again-and-realize-that-life-isn't-over-but-that-it's-just-the-beginning.  Lily was quite good with her looks…_

            "Then why does it feel like I am?

            "These things take time…" Lily repeated.

            "Well, I'm a very impatient person," Sirius growled in contempt, crossing his arms in protest.

            "Sirius, I've been in the situation you're in, and let me tell you that no matter how impatient you are, you'll soon realize that your life isn't as worthless as you expected.  You still have your whole life ahead of you, Sirius, so stop dwelling on the past and start approaching the future with a smile.  You never know—maybe something good will come out of it."

            "That will only happen if I realize I'm in my own dream…or nightmare in this case.  I just feel so…_trapped_.  And then there's always helpless and alone."

            "You're not alone, Sirius," Lily reassured.  "You're not alone."  

            "Maybe it's better to be alone," Sirius said.

            "And why is that?" Lily asked.

            "Because," Sirius started, "No one can hurt you…"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Two and a half years later in November, Lily finally moved back to England to work with _Daily Prophet.  She moved to Branchwood, a magic town, where she was an okay distance (about forty minutes) away from her headquarters with _Daily Prophet_. _

            James moved into a house a block away from where Daniel and Savannah lived in Godric's Hollow, and his house was about twenty minutes away from London and his office at Sir Sephilia's headquarters.

            Allie and Josh had their first child two years earlier on November 15, 1983.  A healthy baby girl, Jenna Nichole Matthews and everyone crowded in the hospital room to be there on the occasion…everyone except for Daniel and Savannah.

            Daniel and Savannah??  Well…no one had heard anything from them since they moved to Canada.  They had chosen not to stay in touch, and at first Lily was really upset…but she soon got over it and went on with her life.  No one got any information on where they lived or their jobs or anything about the baby.  In fact, Savannah and Daniel could have gotten married and none of them would have known.  Eventually, Savannah and Daniel just became names that were rarely ever mentioned.  They weren't forgotten…but they weren't remembered either.

            It took Sirius about ten months to get over Savannah.  You may think that was a long time, especially for Sirius, but that just goes to show how hopelessly in love with her he was.  He refused to date anyone else and even rarely talked to any of his friends.  He was miserable the whole time and seldom smiled or laughed anymore.  As amazing as it is…he hadn't told any jokes in a year!! He often found himself not being able to sleep and thinking of her…and when he _did sleep, he dreamt about her.  He kept all of her pictures for four months, until he finally tore them all up not wanting to have any of her memories.  Unfortunately the memory of her remained implanted in his mind for a further six months.    _

**Without you**

**The ground thaws**

**The rain falls**

**The grass grows**

**The earth turns**

**The sun burns**

**But I die without you**

            Now, Sirius is back to his own self, rarely ever thinking of Savannah, since it has been two years since he's seen her, and he's happy with his life now, even though there are times when he gets an empty feeling at the bottom of his heart.  But he wasn't about to mention that to anyone…

            Sirius and Lily had been hanging out more and more, mostly because they can relate to each other and they were always there for comfort.  Sirius and James were still best friends, but Sirius couldn't talk to James about Lily or about Savannah, fearing that James wouldn't understand enough.  James knew how Sirius was feeling and if they were hanging out and the subject happened to came to mind, they got into a conversation about it, but nothing too extreme, both afraid to admit their feelings.

            Lily and James still haven't gotten back together, (much to everyone's surprise), but they stopped yelling angry comments towards each other here and there.  Now they were friends and often hung out by themselves without feeling awkward.  They came to learn that being friends was better than nothing.   

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "I'm just glad to be back in England, closer to all of you," Lily said with a huge grin plastered on her face.

            "I like this arrangement better, also," Sirius said.  "So have you finally settled in?"

            Lily nodded.  "Yeah…why?  You have a suspicious look on your face."

            Sirius laughed.  "No, I was just wondering if you wanted to head to Three Broomsticks with me and James for a celebration."

            Lily gave him a suspicious look.  "Am I supposed to trust you on this one?"

            Sirius laughed.  "I swear, no pranks.  Just a harmful butterbeer or two."

            "Sirius, when you say harmful, people usually _run_."

            Sirius laughed.  "I swear, it's not poisonous!"

            Lily rolled her eyes.  "Fine, I'll go, but if I die, then I'm blaming it all on you."

            Sirius grinned and threw her a jacket that was lying on the couch.  "Good, let's go then."

            Lily rolled her eyes but apparated to Hogsmeade with Sirius.  They both walked towards Three Broomsticks…actually, they _ran because it was sleeting and hailing hard and it was __freezing outside._

            Sirius grabbed Lily's hand and threw open the door, practically running into Rosmerta. 

            "Rosmerta!!" Sirius cried.  "I haven't seen you since-"

            "Yesterday," she mumbled with a smug look on her face.

            Lily laughed and Sirius huffed.  "Well, if you want to put it _that way."_

            "What other way would I put it?  You were in here yesterday morning."

            Lily laughed again and Sirius rolled his eyes.  "You just can't get enough of me, can you?"

            "I wish I didn't _have to."_

            Again, Lily laughed.  "Damn, I've missed this place so much."

            "Oh, you're the red-headed girl that always came in with that black-haired guy with the glasses, right?" Rosmerta said.  

            Lily nodded, smiling at the thought of a waitress remembering her and James together.  "Speaking of James, where-"

            "What about me?" a voice said from behind.

            Lily turned around to find James bundled up with a heavy jacket on, two scarves, a hat, thick jeans, and she could barely see his face.  "I said _James.  Not the Abominable Snowman."_

            "Awww, thanks.  What a nice way to be greeted by someone who I haven't seen in four months!"

            Lily laughed, and _tried to wrap her arms around his neck.  He stuck out his arms around her waist, and they _squeezed _each other.  I wouldn't exactly call that a hug…haha.  "Agh!  Can't…reach… back!" Lily panted slowly, and James swatted her over the head with his glove._

            "HEY!  Is that any way to treat a person you haven't seen in four months?" she teased.

            "Are you mocking me?"

            Lily fake gasped.  "Never!!"

            "Okay, okay, I get it…You hate me, don't you?" he teased.

            Lily rolled her eyes.  "Yes, you caught me.  Ever since I lay eyes on you, I knew we were destined to be enemies," she replied sarcastically.

            "Instead we became friends…how did that happen?" he joked.

            "I know.  I mean, with friends like _you…who needs enemies anyway?"_

            "HEY!!"

            Lily laughed.  "Okay, it's cold by the door.  Let's go get something warm to drink before my ass freezes off."

            "That would be an interesting sight," Sirius teased.  "A little butt of Lily Evans running around the Three Broomsticks…I can see the headlines now!!"

             "Oh, shut up, Si," Lily said, swatting him on the shoulder.

            "And what fun would that be?"

            "Tons," James replied in a joking manner.

            "Actually, speaking of headlines, did you guys read the article on Voldemort that was in the newspaper yesterday?" Sirius asked, after they walked towards a table in the back.

            James nodded.  "Yeah.  I thought he was in Greenland…"

            "That's where they spotted him last, but about five death-eaters were found lurking in northern England," Sirius explained.

            Lily gasped.  "Why were they there?" 

            "Good question," Sirius mumbled

            "They wouldn't tell," James explained.  "All of the death-eaters refused to spill anything and were sentenced to Azkaban for twenty years unless the give information, in which their sentence would be shortened.  Instead, their privileges _in Azkaban were halfway diminished. They're being severely strict on them, but I don't blame the guards and the Dementors."_

            "How did they find them?  And _who _found them?"

            "Aurors," James answered.  "Luckily, they didn't call me in for extra back-up.  But, they were holding a séance or something around a white, burning cross at Victory's Graveyard in Palenstone Hatch."

            "What, are they the KKK or something?" Lily muttered.

            "Actually, that's how it was described," Sirius smirked.

            "How many damn death-eaters does Voldemort _have_ now?" Lily asked angrily.  "I mean, they've been catching more and more lately and sending them to Azkaban or to death."

            "He's obviously losing a lot," Sirius pointed out.  "But no one can be sure how many followers he has anyway."

            "But, Sir Sephilia claims that there are more than twenty death-eaters in Azkaban now that have been caught in the past ten years, and that's not even all of them.  A bunch had died on missions and a bunch died soon after they entered Azkaban," James explained.

            Lily sighed.  "It's horrible to know that _that many people would agree with Voldemort so highly."_

            Sirius sighed.  "It truly disgusts me."

            "Malfoy and his father were found outside Victory's Graveyard," James admitted in distress.  "But they claimed they had no information and because they weren't with the death-eaters, nothing could befall of them.  But Snape's uncle was one of the eleven sent to Azkaban, who tried to kill Benedict Harrington, the leader of the Auror mission."

            Lily shook her head in disbelief.  "This is crazy.  Palenstone Hatch is not that far from here.  They just keep getting closer and closer.  I don't like this at all."

            "Although being an Auror is fundamentally satisfying, knowing of Voldemort's whereabouts and knowing that his death-eaters are always around, getting closer and closer to the center of England and London, just scares me," James said.  "It's that simple.  When I get missions, it's so much easier to be sent to China or Russia for a mystery disappearance or something.  That way I know my friends aren't in danger."

            Lily nodded.  "We get so much information on Voldemort and deaths caused by him and the _Avada_ Kedavra _curse at the __Daily Prophet center.  Writing it all down and getting the pictures of certain atmospheres creeps me out.  I had my first day of work at the _Daily Prophet _in England yesterday afternoon, and it's so different than the __Daily Prophet in California.  It's more active and employed and there are so many different jobs and everyone is working hard, mostly on stories of Voldemort and strange disappearances and deaths throughout the world.  The office in England is international and everything's amazing to read and research.  They're reference desks is four times as big as the one in California."_

            "Yeah, but England seems to be the heart of Voldemort's attacks," Sirius muttered. 

            Lily nodded awkwardly.  "Which isn't always a good thing…"

            "But we shouldn't let this bother us," James pointed out.  "We still have our own lives to live without worrying about Voldemort and what he's planning on doing next."

            Sirius and Lily nodded vigorously.  "I agree," Lily replied.

            "Right now, he's the least of my concerns," Sirius agreed.  "But the article yesterday just made me realize how close he's getting."

            James nodded uncomfortably.  "It's not a good sign…it's not a good sign," he repeated.

            "I just hope he doesn't get any closer…" Lily remarked.   

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_            "They're on to us Wormtail."_

_            "I know.  I'm sssssssorry.  We've got to throw them off-track."_

_            "I know.  But I'm losing my attendants!  And I need them all to succeed!"_

_            "You'll get more.  Everyone issss rooting for you!"_

_            "That's not good enough!!!!" he boomed._

_            "I'm ssssssory, Massssster.  But we'll get them back."_

_            "We better…" a cold, dark, deep voice said hoarsely.  "I'm not Lord Voldemort for nothing…"_

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "_Daily Prophet.  How may I help you?" Lily said, answering her phone on her desk, the next morning._

            "Lily Evans?" a scratchy voice said.

            "Yeah…" she replied hesitantly.  "May I ask why you're calling?"

            "I'm after you…" the deeper, coarse voice cackled, before a click on the other line was heard.

            Lily held the phone away from her ear full of bewilderment, wondering who the hell that was and why he was _after her.  She didn't like the voice. It was full of suspicion and corruption.  But she shook it off; she didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing.  But for the rest of the day, she couldn't help but replay that conversation in her head._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Sirius?!  What are you doing here?" Lily cried.  She had just returned from work around six o'clock and walked into the lit kitchen to find Sirius standing there holding the refrigerator door opened.

            He laughed.  "I have no food at my place."

            "Oh, so you raid _my kitchen?"_

            "That was the plan."

            "Evil."

            "I know."

            Lily laughed, and threw her purse on to the table.  "Can you get me the Caesar salad in the back of the fridge?

            "Nope."

            "Huh?"

            "I ate it.  Sorry."

            Lily laughed.  "Some friends I have," she muttered teasingly.  

            "Some _hungry friends you have," Sirius corrected with a laugh._

            Lily threw a gum wrapper at him.  

            "Ooooh, gum!!"

            "No, gum _wrapper, with _no _gum."_

            "Well, what are you throwing an empty wrapper at me for!?" he joked.

            "You're completely useless."

            "I know.  That was my job when I was put on earth."

            "No, your job was to annoy each and every single person around you."

            "Is it working?"

            "Just about."

            "Good!  Then my work in life is through."

            "Yes, so now you can retire, learn to play golf, buy your own food at a country club and sit on your ass the whole day," Lily teased.

            "Hmm…doesn't sound half-bad."

            Lily laughed.  "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"

            "Raiding your kitchen." 

            Lily laughed.  "Right, I knew that.  I should've figured—that's the only way I get to see you."

            Sirius grinned.  "Well, I suppose I can hold that off for a while."

            "Good, because I was hoping to get together with you, Remus, Kaitlynne, James, Peter, Allie and Josh considering I haven't seen you all in a while."

            Sirius nodded.  "Sounds fine with me.  I know Allie, Josh, Remus and Kaitlynne are home.  I'm not sure about James or Peter."

            Lily nodded and walked towards the phone.

            "Make sure food is involved!!" Sirius cried and Lily laughed as she dialed Allie's number.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "No, you dumbass, we spent Thanksgiving with _my _parents this year!" Allie corrected.

            "No, because my two brothers were there."

            "No, that was on your father's birthday, Josh!"

            He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it and hesitated.  "Oh…right."

            "Yeah, remember you couldn't spend Thanksgiving with us this year because Allie's mother wanted to see Jenna again, and you were going home to Josh's family for Christmas?" Kaitlynne pointed out.

            "Yeah, yeah, I get it. I have a horrible memory," Josh complained.

            They all laughed.  "So how does it feel to be back in England?" Remus finally asked Lily.

            She looked around.  "Closer to all of you??  Not so great," she teased.

            "I feel so loved," Sirius said sarcastically.

            "The last time I checked…you _weren't," James joked._

            "See!? _There's the love," Sirius accused, and they all laughed._

            "You mean the non-existent love," Lily corrected.

            "Yes, that too," he agreed with a laugh. 

            Lily couldn't help but smile.  They were all back together again, and it felt good.  Living in America was fun for a while, but she knew she belonged in England.  It's where _everyone _was.  It's where Sirius was.  Where James was.  Where Kaitlynne and Remus and Allie and Josh and Peter were.  It's where _home _was.  And it felt good to be back.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Are you ready to go?  I said we'd meet Peter and Remus at the pitch," Sirius commented, early morning two days later.

            "Yeah, hold on, Si, the phone is ringing," James said, picking up the phone before he, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were planning on going to a Quidditch match for the day.

            "James Potter?" a heavy-breathing, deep voice asked.

            "Yes?  Who's calling?"

            There was a pause on the other end before the deep, cackled, rough voice said, "You better watch your step…"  And then James heard a click.  James stared at the phone with a confused look on his face.

            "Who was that?" Sirius asked.

            James jumped, forgetting that Sirius was there.  James paused and gave Sirius a once-over. "Oh…er…wrong number," he lied.  "It was nothing."

            James knew it wasn't _nothing__ but he didn't want to say anything to Sirius…unfortunately, that conversation stuck in his head for the rest of the day._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "No way!!  The Bucknell Bombers have more of a chance of winning than the Rogan Rangers!" James argued.

            "But the Rangers have been on a winning streak for the past two months!" Peter protested.

            "So?  The Bombers are not only intimidating, frightful, big, _good, but they've won the World Cup three years in a row!" Sirius said._

            "Yeah, but they lost their best players this year—Tulsack and Bagrarian, and Tulsack was their seeker," Remus pointed out.

            "Yeah, and the Rangers got Jarvis, who has amazing speed, amazing broom control, amazing skills, and refuses to let a Quaffle in!  He's had eleven shut-outs in fifteen games!!" Peter explained.

            "Yeah, but the Bombers have had forty-two shut-outs in fifty-eight games, for the past two years!" James cried.

            "Okay, okay, there's only one way to settle this!" Sirius jumped in.  "I'm betting ten galleons that the Bombers will beat the Rangers."

            "You're on!" Remus said and Peter agreed.

            "I'm going to get some Bertie and Bott's Every-Flavour Beans and a butterbeer.  Do you guys want anything?" Peter said.

            "No thanks," they all chorused and Peter wandered of into the crowd.     

            "This is going to be such an exciting game!" Remus couldn't help but squeal.

            Unfortunately, the game didn't take place that day because about five minutes later, a great cloud of green dust completely filled the stadium followed by thick, dark black smoke.  Everyone started screaming and panicking and James looked at Sirius with a confused look on his face.

            "What's going on!?!?" Remus cried.  He could barely hear James or Sirius over the commotion.

            "I don't know!!  But we better find out!!!!!" Sirius yelled back.  

            But he got his answer, when the dust cleared out and the Dark Mark was left standing in the middle of the stadium, dark, bright and clear.

**A/N: **Cliffhanger!!  What happens now!?!?!?!?!?!  Okay, that was just a chapter for back-up information, mostly about You-Know-Who.  So, now that that is done and said…

**Disclaimer: **Songs:  "Forever," by I-Have-No-Idea-Who (no, he is not real person…).   "Without You," from the _RENT _soundtrack (eeeek—great production!!!!) 


	20. It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Troubl...

**A/N: **Here's the next chapter.  Not much else to say here.  Review.

**Disclaimer: **You know how this goes.  Everything and everyone you don't recognize belongs to me.  Everything else belongs to the ever-so-great J.K. Rowling

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER20: It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Trouble****

Written by ByeByeBirdie  

            "Oh, no," James muttered.

            "What is it?" Remus asked.

            "Dark Mark…Voldemort's sign."

            Remus and Sirius gasped.  "_What!?Voldemort is here!?"_

            "No, most likely a bunch of his death-eaters, crowding together to perform the task asked by Voldemort.  I've studied up on this, and usually it means that Voldemort is ready to strike again...usually with a certain plan in mind.  He's out there and he wants everyone to know he's fighting back society with crime…and death, of course."

            Remus and Sirius looked at James horrified.  "C'mon, let's get out of here," Sirius finally said.

            "Wait, where's Peter?" Remus asked, moments later.

            They all stopped abruptly.  "Oh, no.  We lost him!"

            "We can't go back, though.  It's too dangerous.  He'll get himself out.  We'll check up on him at his house in about an hour, making sure he made it home safely," James explained.  "If we go back, we'll be prime suspects of the death-eaters."

            "How'd you become so smart?" Sirius muttered.

            "When I became an Auror," James mumbled under his breath.

            "Right, right," Sirius teased.

            "Come on, let's go the other way.  We'll never be able to get out this way," Remus grumbled.

            "No, take that path down there," James said, before Remus could turn around with a few others to follow another longer route.  "It will lead us to the farther side of the hills and I'm sure no one is going to be there."

            "Yes, _sir!" Sirius said jokingly._

            "Oh, and remind me to call Sir Sephilia when we get to a safer place.  He needs to be informed."

            "Yes, _sir!!" Sirius repeated with a wink._

            "And remind me to hurt you later when I'm not so tied up with Auror work," James teased.

            "Yes, _sir!"_

            James sighed, running his hands through his hair nervously.  "This is bad…"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Perfect, Wormtail…" 

            "Thanksssss massssster.  The otherssssss are on the outsssside of the pitch away from everyone and everything.  They caught a few sssstragglers."

            "Perfect.  Now we wait."

            "For what, sssssir?"

            Voldemort grinned evilly down at the plump, ignorant man.  "Sir Sephilia…and the rest of those damn Aurors to try and beat me.  But they won't succeed!!  I won't let them!!!!" he cackled.  "You better make sure those incompetent investigators don't get past me and everyone else out there working for me, Wormtail."

            "Yesss, ssssir," he squeaked. 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Sir Sephilia?" James said in a coarse, deep voice into the pay phone.

            "Yes, this is he.  I heard this was urgent, Mr. Potter.  What's going on that you must tear me away from the assembly line dowstairs?"

            "It's the Dark Mark," James responded.

            There was no answer on the other line.

            "Sir?"

            "Where are you?"

            "The Bucknell Quidditch pitch."

            "I'll be right there with a group of our strongest Aurors.  As of right now, look around for clues as towards who did it and any signs of death-eaters.  _And make sure you don't get caught_!"

            "Yes, sir."

            "You've done well, Mr. Potter," Sir Sephilia complimented.  "I knew that you'd be worth keeping."  And with those words, James heard a click from the other end and sighed again, hanging up the phone in its the cradle. 

            "So?  What's happening?" Sirius asked.

            "Sir Sephilia and the advanced Aurors are coming as quickly as they can.  But we need to start investigating _now.  They might be long gone by the time they all get here."_

            "We'll help," Remus interjected and Sirius nodded in agreement.

            "There's not much we can do except sneak in through the forest passageway and get to the source of the problem."

            "You sound so professional," Sirius muttered.

            "I have to be.  This is serious business we're talking about," James pointed out.

            Sirius nodded.  "Okay, let's go, then."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "C'mon, James…answer your phone," Lily muttered for the umpteenth time that afternoon.  She was scanning through the news on the television when she saw the headlines about the Dark Mark at the Quidditch Pitch covered on thirty-two stations.  She knew that James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were there, but she hadn't been able to get a hold of any of them since she found out what had happened at the match.  "James, please, be there!!!"

            Unfortunately, it was useless, and Lily went back to worrying.  She tried Remus, Sirius, and Peter again, but, just as she had figured, they weren't home either.

            She sighed and sat back down at the television flipping through the channels to see if there was any new information or any better coverage of what had happened.  _Oh, God.  Please let them all be all right….._   

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "You guys, go home now," James said eight hours now.  "Everyone's settled in and we've got all the people on the job that we need.  You two are probably freezing your asses off and are starving out of your minds and are exhausted.  Go home, eat, and sleep."

            "No way are we leaving you here," Sirius said firmly.

            "I'll be fine, Si.  This is just like a regular mission."

            "Except that this time you'll be up against God-knows-what.  You don't even _know your mission!" Remus argued.  "This is just a course of spontaneous action that's being headed by you and Sir Sephilia at the moment.  Usually you get called up and you're told what's going on.  Right now, it's a mix of mass confusion and a lot of running around to do mixed in with a few scandalous orders…oh, yeah and I forgot to mention—__a little bit of danger!!"_

            "I'm going to be _fine.  Stop worrying."_

            "How can we _not worry?" Sirius asked.  "We _never _know if you're okay on these missions!  It's a little nerve-wracking."_

            "Oh, yes and being involved with Voldemort and danger sounds like a thrill-ride to me as well," James said sarcastically.  "But this is my job!  This is what I do!  And as apprehensive and unpredictable as these missions are, I love it all.  I love the feeling of doing something right for the country.  The feeling of winning…of triumph.  The feeling of determination and confidence.  Of self-righteousness and fearlessness.  Of _overcoming my fears and my turmoil.  I love the rush of excitement after doing something right.  After catching a death-eater.  It may be dangerous, but I got myself into this _knowing _that it would be heartstopping.  I love my job even with all the danger it commits to."_

            "Okay, you aren't standing in front of a podium, James," Sirius joked.  "You can stop with the speech."

            James cracked a smile.

            Remus sighed.  "I know that _I couldn't do it.  I'd be up against a death-eater and I'd freeze completely.  Blank out.  _Black _out.  Whatever you want to call it.  I'd hyperventilate."_

            Sirius and James laughed.

            "Yeah, well Sirius would probably go against a death-eater and tell knock-knock jokes until the death-eaters die of boredom," James responded.

            "HEY!!"

            They all laughed.

            "Okay, now _this is when I leave," Sirius said._

            "Yes, please do," James urged on.

            "Fine, fine.  But you better call us the moment you get home.  I don't care if it's three in the morning or if it's three in the afternoon.  Call us immediately!" Remus warned.

            James nodded.  "I will."

            "James Potter!" a voice said from behind.

            "Sir Sephilia's calling me, guys.  I'll call you later and stop worrying," James said, running off towards Sir Sephilia.

            "Still worried?" Sirius muttered.

            "Oh, totally," Remus said.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "SIRIUS BLACK, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN AND WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU CALL ME IMMEDIATELY!" Lily screamed into the phone around eight o'clock that night.

            "Lily, calm down!" he said.

            "HOW CAN I CALM DOWN!?  YOU ALL HAVE MADE ME GONE COMPLETELY CRAZY!"

            "Lils, we're sorry.  Everything was just so…so hectic.  There wasn't any time to stop for _anything."_

            "Not even _me!?"_

            "To tell you the truth, I forgot about you and _everything_ else.  When I saw that Dark Mark, I knew we were troubled.  I knew we needed to start investigating immediately."

            Lily sighed.  "I understand, I just…I was just scared and worried about all of you.  How are Remus, Peter, and James?"

            "Remus is home safely, but we couldn't find Peter anywhere.  And James is still there with the other Aurors."

            There was no reply.

            "Uh…Lily?"

            "You left James alone?"

            "Yes.  He insisted on us leaving."

            "Alone…with the death-eaters…and the Dark Mark in the sky…and Voldemort lurking around somewhere?"

            "Uh…yes, but you don't sound too thrilled about that, do you?"

            "_Are you absolutely nuts_!?"

            "Lily, he's going to be fine!"

            "He better, or else I'm blaming it all on you, Sirius Devon Black."

            "Oh, thanks, Lils.  I feel so much better," Sirius said sarcastically.

            "You're not supposed to feel better."

            "I know."

            Lily sighed.  "I hope he'll be okay."

            "Lily, he's been doing this for a while now.  He loves his job even with the danger it commits to."

            "That sounds like something _James would say…"_

            Sirius laughed.  "He did.  I'm just repeating it to you."

            Lily sighed.  "Okay, then I guess I'll call you tomorrow, Si."

            "Bye, Lils.  Luv ya, hon."

            "Talk to you later, Si. Luv ya, too.  And I'm sorry I was so harsh.  I'm just…aggravated."

            "I know you are.  But calm down and stop worrying.  And make sure you get some sleep tonight because we might have to be up and around all day," Sirius explained.

            "Yes, _mother."_

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            At six o'clock the next morning, there was a knock on Lily's front door.  Lily wasn't sleeping at all, going against Sirius' wishes, but she wasn't expecting anyone either.

            Lily sighed and crawled out of bed.  When she looked out the window, she noticed it was snowing pretty hard.  And if it were any other day she'd be happy for the first snowfall, but it wasn't any other day.  It was another day full of anxiety and worry.

            The person knocked again, and Lily trudged over to the door and opened it.

            "Lily," the voice said breathlessly.

            "JAMES!" Lily cried throwing her cold arms over his neck and giving him a huge hug.

             He squeezed her tighter and held on longer.

            "Are you okay, James?"

            He sighed and didn't answer.

            "James?"

            "I-I don't know."

            "What's going on?"

            "Did Sirius or Remus tell you about last night?"

            "Yeah and that was a good thing of you staying until you were able to leave."

            "I know.  Actually, I stayed after I could have left.  I helped the Ministry of Dark Arts Magic clean up the Quidditch pitch and everything around it."

            "Meaning…?"

            "Dead bodies," he sighed.  "Bombs, smoke, trash, broken wands, broken brooms, _everything_."

            "Oh, no!  Why'd you stay?  Wasn't that awful?"

            "Yeah, but I felt like I owed it to them."

            "Why?"

            "I-I don't know."

            "Did you call Sirius or Remus yet to tell them you're back?"

            He shook his head.  "No…I-I needed to talk to someone, and somehow it didn't feel right talking to them."

            "Why?  What's wrong?  Are you okay?"

            "While helping clean up the catastrophe I…I met up with my dad."

            "Yeah?" Lily asked, wondering what James was getting to.  "Your dad went to the game?"

            "No, not exactly.  He showed up as an Auror, but…"

            "But what?"

            "I meant…well, I meant that I _saw my dad…on the ground…unmoving…untouchable…not doing anything.  He just sat there, white as a ghost.  And I knew…I knew immediately he had been killed," James choked up._

            Lily gasped.  "Oh,_ no_," she emphasized, giving him a tight reassuring hug.  "Are…are you sure?"

            He nodded solemnly.

            "I-I don't know what to say," Lily said breathlessly, not sure how to express her sorrow in this case.  "I'm so sorry, James…" 

            "When I saw him lying there motionless, I couldn't move…I couldn't speak…I couldn't walk…I couldn't _breathe.  I never thought it could affect my life…but it did.  And now…now I don't what to think or believe.  He was one of the best damn Aurors alive and…and he died trying to save someone else's life.  That could have been me, Lils.  _I _could be the one dead."_

            "James Potter, do _not think that!  He was brave.  He stood up against what he believed in.  He stood up for you and for everyone else in the damn Auror business.  If you back out now, you'll never know what you can achieve…who you can be.  Don't punish yourself for your father's actions.  He was a _great _Auror.  That can be you…that __will be you.  Don't think of the danger.  Think of the __people.  Every single witch or wizard will count on you.  They'll look up to you.  You'll be a role model…and idol.  Don't you want that?"_

            James nodded solemnly.  "Yeah.  I'm just…I'm just scared.  I never thought how dangerous being an Auror could be until I realized that _death _could be a result."

            "Yes, but there's another result that's even more important to remember—so much more worth everything.  Death isn't something you have to dwell on, James.  You can't quit, even though I know that's what you're thinking of doing."

            "I-I don't want to quit," he said quietly.  "I just…I just want some time off."

            "So ask Sir Sephilia.  He'd be happy to give you a few weeks off—especially in the events of what had happened to you."

            James nodded slowly, knowing she was probably right.  "So, then what's the other result, Lily? Other than death…"

            Lily paused and glanced down at his weary eyes, filled with an emptiness that no one could ever fill.

            "Heroism…"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "You idiot!!!  We wanted the other Potter!!"

            "I'm sssssorry," Wormtail stuttered.  "He jussssst got in our way and Lucifer Malfoy took action and killed him.  We couldn't find James Potter, sssssir.  He was hidden in the foresssst behind everyone and everything."

            "Fine, but next time make sure we kill that blasted James Potter!!  He keeps standing in our way!!"

            "Yesss, massssster.  Right away." 

            "Don't let it happen again, Wormtail.  I'm warning you!!  One false move, and I'll wring your neck like I did Vladimir Nott."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Scott Potter.  What can I say? He was a great friend, an excellent Auror, and a perfect _father_," James said at the funeral four days later.  "He helped me realize what I want in life.  He helped me realize that I _can reach my goals if I work hard enough.  He taught me everything I'll ever need to know as I descend down the path of life.  He taught me the ways of loving; he taught me about overcoming fear; he taught me about being strong and powerful; he taught me how to be happy," James continued, as unshed tears built up inside his eyelids.  "But most importantly…he taught me about life itself.  He always noticed the little things.  He always pointed them out.  He told me, once, that __everything was important from a tiny, useless blade of grass to the shining sun in the sky.  He said that everything was connected in the circle of life.  In the circle of happiness…the circle of inner-peace.  Everything meant something and you could __never overlook anything, because overlooking is a sign of weakness.  A sign of unfortunate greatness.  Of incompetent superiority.  And nothing in this world is superior to anything else.  Everything and every__one is equal.  And I remember thinking that my father was crazy…but I realize now that he's right.  Underestimation is every man or woman's weakness…and weaknesses show signs of effortlessness…which goes to show that no one is perfect.  Everyone has flaws…but I like to think of my father as flawless.  Because without him…I would never have realized that even though I have my weaknesses…so does everyone else.  I love you, Dad, and I always will," James finished, as the tears slowly crept down his cheeks as he walked down towards a pew where Sirius, Lily, Remus, Kaitlynne, Peter, Allie, and Josh were all sitting. _

            James chose not to sit with his mother, his grandmother, his aunts, his uncles, and his cousins.  He'd rather be with his friends at a time like this.  They were the most important people in life and they made him realize that he mattered.  That he belonged…and at the time, that's all he needed.  

            He took a seat, and Lily squeezed his hand and handed him a tissue.

            James gave her a half-smile and sniffled.  "Thanks," he whispered.

            "Anytime," she replied.  "We're always here for you…always."

            And his friends always knew exactly what to say.

**A/N: **Yes, I know that was a little surprising (and a bit difficult to write), but I figured that there had to be some moredark-art situations going on behind the scenes.  Voldemort couldn't just have been some guy on the streets who suddenly, out-of-the-blue decides he's going to kill off these people with the last name of Potter.  As you can see, he's a complicated guy.  Anyway, keep on reading and reviewing!


	21. Falling In and Out of Love

**A/N: ** Okay, so I'm back again.  This chapter was an impulse chapter…but I liked how it worked out even though the rest of you may think that I have gone crazy.  Hehe.  Just read and review!  And tell your friends to read and review!   In fact, tell your enemies if you feel the need!  

**Disclaimer: **I do not the Harry Potter series or the people that you all recognize in here.  They belong to J.K. Rowling and even though I am upset at her for killing off my FAVORITE character, she should still hurry up with the next book and movie!  Oh, those who you don't recognize belong to moi! 

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER 22:  Falling In and Out of Love****

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            It was three weeks later, and although James hasn't forgotten his father, he had started to move on.  He stopped trying to let go of all of the memories and instead learned to still remember him without throwing it all away.

            And of course, his friends were always there to remind him of that.  James soon learned that dealing with pain was a whole lot easier when his friends were always just around the corner.  They always knew what to say when he was down and always knew that a beer and rocky road ice-cream could cheer him up any day.  In fact, Sirius bought James eight cartons of rocky road ice-cream just because he wanted James to feel better whenever he felt like it…and James soon found out that it was also because, at the super-market, if you got five cartons of ice-cream you got three cartons free, and Sirius rarely ever turned down a bargain. 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            The friends began devoting every night to each other.  At half-past-midnight every night, you could always find Remus, Peter, James, Sirius, Lily, Kaitlynne, and most of the time, when they left a baby-sitter for Jenna, Allie and Josh, together sipping on a few beers in the Three Broomsticks talking about anything in particular.  Often the conversation was about Hogwarts, but sometimes it led to the few years after Hogwarts, and even some memories from their early childhood.  And occasionally they would run into old friends and stop and have a late-night rendezvous with a whole lot of catching up to do—just last Monday they ran into a few of Kaitlynne's relatives who were at the wedding and the Friday before they even met up with a former professor—Professor Richton who was the Arithmacy professor.

            That night they ran into Minnie's older sister, Liza, and her husband Trent, and three of Liza's old girlfriends who were only three years older than the rest of them (and Sirius used to have the hugest crush on one of them—Erin—and couldn't help but think that she got even more hotter!), and another guy, Bruce, who was a friend of Trent's.  They invited them to sit down, which they gratefully accepted, which began a very interesting choice of conversation.

            "So you two have been married for…how long now?  Six years?" Kaitlynne asked Trent and Liza.

            "Almost six—in January," Liza corrected.

            "And no children?" Allie teased.

            Liza and Trent shared a mysterious glance and Liza grinned wide.  "Actually, I just found out this afternoon that I'm pregnant!  That's why we're here—we came here to celebrate!"

            "Oh congratulations!!" they all cried in unison, with a few round of hugs.  

            "Okay, this deserves a toast," Kaitlynne said happily.  

            "Hear, hear!" they all said in between laughter.

            "To falling in love," Kaitlynne started, looking around the table at everyone's smiling faces.  "To sharing a lifetime with a wonderful human being.  And to Liza and Trent and their child on the way!"

            "To Liza and Trent!" they all chorused.  "And to falling in love!"

            They all clinked glasses and sat back in their seats to sip their drinks.  

            "So, how many times have you all been in love?" Liza questioned.  "It's been so long and I'd like to be updated on your lives."

            "You mean their _personal lives," Trent corrected with a teasing grin._

            "Yes, that too," Liza said with a grin on her face.  "So?  How about it?"

            Remus shrugged and said easily, "Only once." 

            Kaitlynne smile warmly and kissed him on the cheek.  "Awww.  I love you, too."

            They all rolled their eyes.  "So Kaitlynne?  What about you?"

            She shifted in her seat uncomfortably.  "Three times…"

            Remus looked over at her but didn't bother to question it.  He hadn't spoken to her in the years after graduation and he knew that a wonderful woman like herself could've easily fallen in love.

            Allie spoke up next.  "Twice."

            "Only _twice?" Josh said in shock.  "I thought it would be a lot more than that!"_

            Allie chuckled.  "Sorry to burst your bubble, sweetheart.  It was only you and that Paolo guy for a year…"

            "Oh…_him," Josh said, scrunching up his nose.  "I hate Italians."_

            "No you just hated _him because you were jealous."_

            Josh shrugged.  "Yeah, well I'm not afraid to admit it at least."

            They all laughed.  

            "Well, Josh, what's your magic number?"

            "Three," he answered, not bothering to look over at Allie, who was trying hard not to care.

            "Three?" she questioned.  "Hannah Rutherford and….who else?"

            "Someone who I used to work with.  No one knows her," Josh said with a shrug. 

            "Oh…" Allie said, trying not to look so disappointed.

            "Oh, honey that was years ago!" Josh said, squeezing her shoulder.  "I don't even know where she _is _now!  I love _you_!"

            Allie shrugged her shoulders, but when she looked up at Josh's pleading face she sighed and gave him a quick kiss.  "Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You better."

            Everyone laughed.

            "What about you, James?" Trent asked.

             James looked over at Lily across the table and, not taking his eyes off of her, said quietly, "Many times…but with the same person."

            Sirius nodded.  "I can agree to that," he said miserably.

            Peter shrugged his shoulders.  "Only once, but she's long gone."

            Everyone was staring at Lily now, though most of them already knew the answer.

            Lily shrugged, and turned her head away from James.  "Twice…" she said, barely audible.

            Okay, that wasn't the answer everyone was assuming.

            "_Twice?" James cried out, almost as if he were angry.  Okay, screw that—he _was _angry…only, he wasn't sure why._

            "Yeah, twice," Lily responded.  "You know—like the number two?  Two times?  Two people?  Must I go on?"

            If it was any other situation, Sirius might have thought about laughing.  They all might have chuckled, but it was a desperate time for both Lily and James…

            "But…but…" James sputtered out.  "_When?"_

            "Why does it matter?" Lily asked, finally turning around to look at him, already knowing the answer to her own question.  "It was a long time ago."

            "_How long ago??" James demanded to know._

            "_Too long ago!" Lily cried out in frustration._

            James glared at her.  "Thanks for being specific."

            "I didn't think I _needed to be specific!"_

            "I'm just curious!" James cried out, throwing his arms up in the air.

            "No, you're _jealous," Lily muttered under her breath._

            "Why would I be _jealous??"_

            "Because you never knew that there was someone else in my life besides you and it's tearing you up inside," Lily pointed out.  "Don't deny it.  That look in your eyes is telling me that _you think I betrayed you…__which I didn't.  I haven't dated you every second of my life, now have I?  __No," she said, answering her own question._

            "Maybe you _haven't, but when were you dating this other guy!?" _

            Lily rolled her eyes.  "It was probably only a year or two after graduation," she explained.  

            "Oh!" Sirius suddenly cried out, looking at her in acknowledgement.  "Er…Rider…uh…Rider something-or-rather!  What was his last name?"

            "_You _know, too?" James cried in complete disbelief.

            "Carlson," Lily answered Sirius, choosing to ignore James' piggish comments.

            "Well, Lily was _living with me smartass," Sirius pointed out to James with a smirking grin on his face.  "Of course I knew."_

            "How come _I never knew!?" James cried out in frustration._

            "Because I never felt the need to _tell _you!!  It just_ happened_ to be one of those years where we weren't speaking to each other, James Potter," Lily said, crossing her arms irritably.  "Half of my life was devoted to getting over you, and the rest of it was devoted to _not _speaking to you.  Sometimes you made my life a living hell, James!  I _had to keep going with my life no matter how much you hurt me!  Once I graduated, __I grew up!  _I _moved on!  You __don't know everything about me so stop acting like you __do.  The only thing you're good for right about now is acting jealous.  So, as I get up now and walk out the door, you can _keep_ doing what you're best at."_

            With those final words, she grabbed her jacket and immediately rushed out of the door in fury.  _Who does he think he is?  He doesn't own me!  He doesn't control my life and he sure as hell doesn't need to be a part of it! _Lily thought in frustration, not realizing that it was beginning to snow.

            James didn't even hesitate to grab his jacket and run after Lily without bothering to look at the rest of the group, who were all feeling a bit uncomfortable at the time.

            "Lily!  Lily, _wait_!" James cried loudly, calling after her impatiently.

            Lily couldn't even hear him behind her, but when he caught up with her only a few steps outside of Three Broomsticks and grabbed her arm, she whipped around, the tears stinging in her eyes.

            She raised her eyebrows, questioning his motives, still wearing an aggravated frown on her face as she pulled her arm out of his grip and crossed her arms huffily.

            James looked down at her and saw the tears of frustration in her eyes.  He sighed and ran his hand threw his hair as he looked up at the cloudy sky, not sure what to say.

            "Well?  Did you just come out here to look at the sky or are you actually planning on speaking?"

            "Lily, I'm sorry," James said, looking down at her again and bringing his hand to her arm comfortingly.  "I didn't mean to interrogate you like that, it's just that…" he trailed off, sighed and then shrugged.  "I don't know……it's just that I thought I knew everything about you.  I _liked thinking that I knew everything about you.  But…but…but…oh, I don't know."_

            Lily swallowed hard. "I do," she replied, avoiding eye-contact with him.  

            James looked down at her questionably.  "_What do you know?"_

            "I understand, James, I just…I just hate it when I'm reminded of the times that weren't spent with you.  When we broke up after graduation, I couldn't deal with it anymore.  I thought that our relationship was just some Hogwarts fling or whatnot.  But I didn't know how to live on my own…so when Rider came along soon after, I started dating him just for the fun of it.  Unfortunately, it led into something bigger and I found myself falling for him big-time—with one flaw…………..he wasn't you," Lily said with a sigh, still refusing to gaze up at his face.  She couldn't believe how easy it was to talk about her relationship with James and her because whenever the subject came up in the past, there always used to be some uncomfortable silence and the topic would move away from them.  But now…it was all coming out.

            James smiled secretively in the dark, with a look of superiority.  "Truthfully, Lily, I _am _jealous.  Not because of you and him…but because _you were able to find someone.  _You _were able to move on.  I didn't know how to let go…I didn't _want _to let go.  And I'm jealous that Sirius knew about him and I didn't.  I hate knowing that I don't know everything about you, Lily.  I hate knowing that we lost valuable time _not _speaking to each other. I hate knowing that...that you were loving someone else when I was still loving you."_

            "I never loved him as much as I loved you, James," Lily said softly, not sure why she mentioned that.  Their relationship was over and done with and she wasn't really in the mood to bring it up again, no matter how comfortable it practically felt.

            "Really?"

            "Of _course not!  He didn't make me feel like I was floating on a cloud and he never bought me yellow roses and he never enjoyed sitting out at night during the summer and just watching the stars above and he never showed up at my door just because he wanted to kiss me before going off to work in the morning and he never made me feel like I was truly important to him.  He wasn't the overly romantic type.  He was sweet and generous but not mind-blowing dreamy like those guys that women fantasize about all the time.  I may have __loved him…but I was _in _love with you.  It was always you, James…"_

            "Is it still?" he dared to ask.

            For the first time, Lily looked up into James' eyes…and knew it was the wrong choice.  His soft eyes made her want to melt.  His eyes were full of devotion and the kind of soft tenderness that made her heart sing and she suddenly felt her knees getting weak.  

            James looked down at her and couldn't help but think about how beautiful she was standing in the middle of the street with the snow pouring down on her.  "Lily?" he whispered softly, stepping closer to her.  They could both see the cloud of air that came out of his mouth because of the freezing weather, and that was the first time either one of them realized just how cold it was.

            "Yeah?" she asked, not looking away from his captivating eyes.

            He whispered fervently, "What would you do if I kissed you now?"

            Lily didn't even bother to respond as she placed her hands in his cold, frigid air full of snowflakes and let him kiss her passionately.  The heat between them rose and they stood there in the flurry of snowflakes, intensifying their kiss as Lily brought her hands down to wrap around his shoulders.  They could barely breathe and yet never let go of each other.  Their racing hearts became one, beating rapidly, and their minds enjoined as they felt the love that they had been denying for the past four years creep up and burst with pride.

            When they pulled apart, Lily stared into his handsome eyes and let herself breathe heavily.  James just stood there, finally realizing what he had been missing out on.

            Neither one of them spoke for a long time, but neither one of them had to.

            "Let's never keep anything from each other again," James said, barely audible with the winder winds surrounding them harshly.

            Lily nodded.  "I don't plan to…"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~         

            Lily and James walked back into Three Broomsticks, holding hands, and wandered over to the table where their friends were still sitting and chatting, only Liza, Trent and their friends had already left.

            "Where did Liza go?" Lily questioned.

            "I think the _real question is why are you two holding hands?" Remus demanded to know, raising one eyebrow._

            James and Lily blushed and let go immediately.  "Uh…well….uh…you see…er…"

            "Oh…my…God…" Kaitlynne said slowly.  "Are you two…?"

            James and Lily turned to look at each other and smiled sweetly.  "Yeah, I guess," Lily said, biting down on her lip nervously like she was just falling in love for the first time.

            Remus, Kaitlynne, Allie, Josh, and Sirius were officially speechless.  

            "Okay, _this would be the time to speak…" James remarked._

            "Congratulations!" Allie squealed.  "Okay, it's time for another toast!"

            "To falling in love," Remus repeated.  "And to Lily and James—for _finally _figuring out who they're meant to be with."

            They all laughed and clinked glasses.

            James finally got up the courage to look over at Sirius, who was looking less than enthused.  Sirius glared at James and raised an eyebrow, with a question in his eyes.

            James shook his head quickly and turned away, feeling guilty.

            But when he looked over at Lily, he forgot about his guilt and smiled widely.  He finally had what he had always wanted.

            …He just hoped Sirius wouldn't say anything to Lily about what he was hiding from her.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~  

            The next day at work, Lily could barely concentrate.  She was overly giddy and when a dozen yellow roses were delivered to her during her lunch break, she knew that the rest of the day would be impossible to be devoted to just her work.  Her mind was completely transfixed on James and she daydreamed so much that her boss sent her home.

            "Lily!" 

            Lily snapped back to reality and sat up in her seat at her desk.  "Huh?  Yeah?"

            "You're drooling," Brigitte Talcyon, Lily's boss, snickered.  "What's going on with you?  You've barely done any work today!"

            Lily blushed.  "I-I'm sorry, Mrs. Talcyon, it's just that…er…well…"

            "Lemme guess—you're in love?"

            Lily hesitated, not sure _what she was at the moment.  She was on cloud nine, but was she really in love with James quite yet?  It's been such a long time since they had dated and things had changed between them intensely.  Both of their lives were incredibly different now and they really didn't know where they were headed._

            Lily looked up at smiled at her adoring boss, took a deep breath and said confidently, "Yeah…I guess I am."

            Okay, those weren't the words she was planning on saying…but they felt good and she knew that she meant it wholeheartedly.

            "Go home," Mrs. Talcyon said with a childish grin on her face.

            "Wh-what?"

            "Better yet—go see him," she urged.  "You're not doing any good here."

            "B-but…but…"

            "Honey, I'm not mad.  I'm actually very excited that you found someone!  But it looks like you'd have a better time anywhere but here at work—so I'm begging you, _go see him."_

            Lily grinned.  "Thanks, Mrs. Talcyon!"

            "Anytime…"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~    

            Before Lily and James went off to work that morning, James asked Lily out to dinner that night and she gladly accepted.  It was two hours before she was supposed to be meting him since she got off work so easily, but she knew that James wasn't on a mission therefore he'd probably be at home working on paperwork, so she decided to surprise him.

            She walked up to the door with a smile on her face but already saw that the door was half-open and she started to hear muffled voices inside.

            As she walked up the door, she heard James' voice suddenly say wearily, "Avril, I'm sorry."

            Lily stopped in her tracks and listened outside the door, confused as to why Avril Harper was at James' house.  

            "You weren't sorry _yesterday.  In fact, you were perfectly fine when you were luring me into bed!" she cried in anger._

            Lily's breath stopped short.

            "I thought you _liked me, James!  How can you go out with a girl for six weeks and then suddenly dump her because you __feel like it!"_

            "Avril, _please don't make this too big of a deal.  I told you I was sorry and I __am.  And I _do _like you.  I don't just __'feel like it…'  It's just that…I mean…well…"_

            "There's someone else, isn't there…"

            Lily looked down at the ground that was starting to blur in front of her tear-stricken eyes, full of emotions she couldn't describe.  She wasn't sure if she should be angry or sad or confused or feeling absolutely nothing, but her mind was so mixed up that she didn't have time to think anyhow.

            "Yes," James finally said after a long pause.  "And as much as I like you, I love her more than anything.  You and her are very different from each other and I like different aspects of each and you.  But I've known her my whole life and I fell in love from the start.  I really am sorry, Avril."

            "Who is she?"

            "What?"

            "Who is she?!"

            "Uh…"

            There was a long pause from both of them, that was increasingly awkward.

            "TELL ME!"

            "Lily Evans," James muttered, as if he were afraid of something or embarrassed.  

            There was no answer.

            Avril sighed heavily and finally said, "Oh…_her_."

            "Yeah…"

            "I should've known.  She's the only girl that you've _ever seriously dated._

            "Avril, I-"

            "James, just answer me this—if she wasn't in the picture and you never even knew her, never dated her, never talked to her, and never _saw _her…would you have chosen me?"

            Lily wasn't sure if she wanted to hear that answer, but she was glued to the spot that it didn't matter what she wanted—she couldn't run away anyway.

            "Probably," James finally answered.  "I would have fallen in love with you easily because you're just like me in every way.  Lily and I have our differences, which often makes our relationship a challenge, but this time it's different.  We understand each other now.  We're ready to over-commit to each other no matter what it takes."

            "I was ready a long time ago, James…I just thought you'd never give me the time of day."

            There was another long pause where James was desperately trying to collect his thoughts.

            "Avril…I-I'm sorry," was all he could think of.  "I really am.  It's the only thing I can say to you now without hurting you any more.  It's just…just bad timing now."

            Avril sighed.  "I'm trying to understand…but I just don't know if I ever will.  Call me up if anything happens between you two.  You're a good guy, James…I'm just sorry I won't get the chance to prove that to you."

            Lily stood on James' front steps as Avril suddenly walked outside, the tears already falling down her face.  "Oh…it's you," Avril only said, not noticing how upset Lily looked.  Avril stared at her for a few seconds in frustration and then walked down the steps miserably before apparating to somewhere else.

            Lily looked up into James' eyes, and there was no mistake of how hurt she was.  He had lied to her when they promised each other that they wouldn't keep things from each other.

            And James couldn't misinterpret how hurt Lily looked at that moment staring up at him with eyes filled with pain and suffering.

            Lily looked down at the ground, seething in anger.  "When were you going to tell me about her?"

            "Wh-what?"

            "You heard me," Lily said, glaring at him sending him death wishes with her own mind.

            "I-I…" James started, completely speechless.  He knew he screwed up big-time and he knew that _Lily _knew that he was _never_ planning on telling her.

            "James, I think this qualifies as something you're _hiding _from me.  What happened to telling each other everything?  By the things that Avril said to you, I'm pretty sure you _didn't just find out about her—you were obviously dating her if you _'lured her into bed' _last night, don't you think?"_

            "Lily, I-"

            "Just save it," she said, swallowing hard.  "I don't want to hear it James…in fact, I don't even want to _look _at you right now.  I _can't…" she continued, trembling while suffering terribly, the tears already falling down her cheeks somberly.  _

            "Lily-"

            "I trusted you, James," Lily whispered dramatically.  "I thought that you and I being together was what we _both_ wanted, but if you couldn't find it in your heart to tell me about Avril, I'm not so sure we're meant to be together."

            "We _are meant to be together," James whispered hoarsely, feeling the tears gather in his eyelids, already knowing that she was slipping farther away from him emotionally.  "This __is what I want.  I want this so much that I didn't want to ruin it by telling you about Avril.  You have _no _idea how many days I dreamed about you and I back together—this is the __only thing I want right now." _

            "Then why do I feel like maybe it's not what _I _want?" Lily replied, staring up at him desolately, clinging to no hope and no energy to cope with what life is giving her right now.

            "Lily, no…please, let me explain."

            "You don't need to," Lily said, staring back down at the ground, unable to face James' morose look on his face with his eyes that were quickly filling up with unhappy tears of pain and suffering, just like how her heart was quickly filling up with more pain.  "In fact, I don't want you to.  We just need time alone, James.  We have changed over the years and we both have to figure out who _we _are before figuring out what we want in life.  We just need to be our own person, separate in life and separate within ourselves."

            "But Lily…" James choked out.  "I know what I want in life—I want _you.  Lily, I love you…"_

            Lily was afraid he would say that.  "If you loved me, you would have told me the truth about Avril…"

            James didn't answer.

            "Good-night, James," Lily answered roughly.

            "But not good-bye?"

            Lily looked back up at him.  "For now…it _has to be good-bye."_

            And with those last words of solemn unforgiveness, she apparated back to her home where she spent the night crying on her bed, letting the tears slowly slip down her cheek on to her pillow.  She let herself think about what she had just lost.  She let herself cry over the one person she truly loved and the one person she just couldn't have.  She let herself be overridden by memories of herself and James when they were a couple.  She let herself close her eyes and dream about what could-have-been with James.  She let herself fantasize about her future with James and reminisce on her past with him.  She let herself fall deeper and deeper into a disastrous corner where the only thing on her mind was James Potter.

            She was in love.

            And there wasn't anything she could do about it.

            Anger, sadness, pain, anxiety, confusion, and mostly jealousy just didn't mix well together.  But that was what she was feeling.  Her feelings meant nothing to her anymore.  Nothing was worth the pitiful state she had let herself be cornered into, but James Potter was her reason for living.

            He was also her reason for crying the night away.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Sirius walked into Three Broomsticks later than usual.  He looked around and saw Remus sitting alone at one of the tables.

            "Hey, Remus.  Where's everyone else?" Sirius asked curiously.

            Remus sighed and shrugged.  "Kaitlynne had an emergency at work is down there trying to fix and help with the printer press.  Allie and Josh are at home because they couldn't find a baby-sitter for Jenna.  I have no idea why Peter is here although he left a strange message on my machine telling me that he had to go out of town for work and not to worry about him…or something like that.  I don't know, he sounded muffled.  But James and Lily…I have no idea where they are."

            Sirius sat down at the round table.  "They promised me they would be here promptly at one o'clock…why aren't they here?  They never break a promise…"

            Remus sighed.  "I hope everything is okay."

            Sirius suddenly gasped.  "Uh-oh…"

            "What? What's wrong?  What happened?"

            Sirius shut his eyes and groaned.  "If they're not here that must mean they're fighting…and I'll bet you anything that Lily found out about Avril."

            "_Avril_?  As in Avril _Harper_?"

            Sirius nodded.  "James has been dating her for a while and last night he told me that he didn't want Lily to find out because he didn't want to ruin things from the start."  Sirius groaned again and shook his head in disbelief.  "This can't be good."

            "Are you sure about this?"

            Sirius shrugged.  "No…but I knew that Lily would find out somehow—she's a smart girl and she knows when that boy is hiding something…I just hope that I'm wrong."

            Remus nodded.  "I do, too.  They were so happy last night.  They deserve each other; they _really _do.  I-I just hope that nothing bad happened between them.  I can't stand it when they're fighting.  I hate it, you hate it, we _all _hate it…but they hate it most.  I-I really hope that they're just late…"

            But they never showed up.

**A/N: **Wahhhhhhhh…..THEY WERE SO CLOSE!!  Stay tuned to see what happens next…surprises are in store! 


	22. Life Goes On?

**A/N: **Wahhhh!!!  Two things—school starts tomorrow and Lily and James are having issues!!  Two things to cry over.  Let's talk about school first—I haven't started school yet and already I have senior-itis.  It's a very common disease in MANY MANY MANY seniors in Morristown (hehe)…in fact, my fall semester is incredibly busy with field hockey practice every day including games and scrimmages and Saturday practices and I'm filling out TONS of college applications right now and still catching up on ACT's and SAT's and then there's church stuff that I'm signed up for EVERY Wednesday night plus the homework that I'm going to soon be getting.  I _have _to get rid of one---I vote homework!  Senior year is a joke at our high school and I plan on staying all the way until the punch line.  ANYWAY!!!!  Next thing—Lily and James are having issues.  Hmm…I wonder what will happen between them?  Nothing?  Something?  Well, keep reading!!

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill.  (just see previous chapters!)   

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER 23: Life Goes On ****

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            Lily woke up the next morning, hoping to get a new, fresh start on the day.  She didn't want to worry about James or what was going to happen between them.  Personally, she wasn't feeling so upset and angry any longer.  She meant what she said to him—they needed time to think about each other and how they've changed.  She didn't want to rush into anything and she knew that she just needed some time alone to herself.  

            When she entered work, she entered with a smile on.  Surprising herself, she actually felt _good _when she smiled.  

            "Good morning, Lily," a few people greeted as she walked down the hallway to her cubicle.  

            She replied cheerfully, "Good morning!"

            Surprising herself, she actually _meant it._

            When Mrs. Talcyon asked her about her date last night, Lily shrugged and brushed it off.  "It didn't go as well as planned, but I'm okay."

            Surprising herself, she really felt like she _was _okay.

            Mrs. Talcyon smiled sympathetically and handed her the copies of her article with the editors' notes on them.  She read them over and started to get to work.  She finished typing her article and began to file the previous newspapers that were in the filing room.  It was her week to file, but surprising herself, she actually had fun with it.

            It was a day of many surprises.

            Especially when Sirius walked into her office right before her lunch break without any notice.

            "Sirius!!" Lily cried in shock.  "What are you doing here?"

            "I could be asking _you the same question…"_

            "Uh…I work here, Sirius."

            Sirius gave her a look.  "I mean, I figured you'd be at home, taking some time off…"

            "Why?"

            Sirius rolled his eyes and gave her an antagonizing look.  "I know what happened between you and James."

            Lily looked down at the ground and sighed.  "Did he tell you?"

            "No, I figured it out," Sirius explained.  "I told James that you'd find out about Avril somehow, but-"

            "_What_?  _You _knew?"

            Sirius felt a bit guilty and grinned apologetically at her.  "Yeah…but I promised not to tell you.  I just wanted you two to be happy together because that's the way it's always _been.  You two were meant for each other, and I hate to see you guys back to avoiding each other."_

            "I'm not avoiding him.  Sirius, I don't hate him.  In fact, what happened between us just made me realize how different we are now.  Things have changed and perhaps we're not as right for each other as we were years ago.  It's been almost fifteen years since we've first started dating.  We've grown up.  We've moved on.  It just took longer for me to figure that out."

            "You love him," Sirius said.

            "_What_??"

            "I can tell.  You're just afraid to admit it."

            "Sirius, I-"

            "Right now, I was almost positive you'd be at home crying your eyes out over him, throwing things around your apartment, screaming when the time felt like it.  Instead, you're here at work…smiling and feeling _glad _that things are over…….you're a changed person, Lily."

            "Yeah…and?"

            "I think you're afraid of what could have happened between you two."

            "Yes, I am," Lily admitted.  "Mostly because we're so different that if we _had _continued on with something, it wouldn't have lasted.  We've changed and we're not the same people we were when we first started dating.  Honestly, I count us getting back together this time as a fluke.  I feel like it didn't really happen and that's just the way it's going to feel like in my mind.  _I'm fine, Sirius.  I've finally realized that maybe he and I aren't meant for each other like we used to be."_

            Sirius sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to change her mind.  "Fine, Lily.  I've got to go now, but call me when you want to talk to someone."

            Lily sighed.  "I won't need to, but okay."

            Sirius left, the feeling of confusion weighing down his mind.

            Lily just stood there, wondering why Sirius thought she was afraid.

            Truthfully, she knew she was.  She was afraid of being alone.  But she wasn't going to go running back to James when she knows that perhaps they just don't belong to each other…

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~  

            Two weeks later, Lily and James had practically forgot about what had happened between them and still remained friends.  No one really knew what had ended them yet again, but they weren't willing to share any details with each other……….

            "I actually can't today, Brett," Lily said with a sympathetic smile.  "I'm baby-sitting for a friend of mine."

            "Aww, it's Shane's birthday," Brett said with a puppy-dog face.

            "I know! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Lily apologized.  "But it's Christmas Eve and my friends are going to a party with the people they _usually get to baby-sit for them.  If I would have known that you were having a huge party for the guy I wouldn't have promised Allie!"_

            Brett laughed.  "Don't worry about it.  I'll tell Shane you said happy birthday and-"

            A second later, Sirius appeared in front of them.  "Oh, hey…Brett, is it?" 

            Brett laughed.  "Is this what you call baby-sitting?" Brett asked Lily with an eyebrow raised.

            "Well you know how Sirius gets at times. He can't be left alone. I need to baby-sit _him_," Lily teased.

            "Hey!" Sirius called out. "It takes more than one person to baby-sit me." The three of them laughed.

             "He's just helping me, Brett."

            "_Helping_? Is _that _what it's called nowadays?"

            Sirius looked at them quizzingly and Lily and Brett laughed.  "I was invited to Shane's thirtieth birthday, but I'm baby-sitting for Allie and Josh today," Lily clued Sirius in. 

            "Ohhhh!  You know, you could go if you wanted and I could baby-sit Jenna," Sirius pointed out.

            Lily burst into laughter.  "Sirius, I don't think Allie and Josh are going to like that too much."

            Sirius made a face at her.  "Ha ha.  Not that you _care, but I happen to be _great_ with children."_

            "Yeah, but Jenna is only two years old!!"

            "Lily, there's nothing to be worried about.  If something goes wrong, I'll call you or something.  Now go have fun at this party!" Sirius said firmly.

            "But-"

            "No buts.  Go with Brett and have a good time.  You've been so busy with your work lately that you haven't had much time to get out," Sirius pointed out.  "And wouldn't it be nice to see your friends from California again…especially on Christmas Eve?"

            Lily hesitated.  "Well…it _would _be nice to take a break from my new job and just relax…"

            "Great!!  Then it's settled.  We'll apparate back to California and start decorating for his party," Brett interjected.

            "Fine, but I better not hear in the newspaper that a two-year old baby was accidentally left on the side of the road and trampled by a beer truck or something," Lily warned.

            "No way!!" Sirius objected.  "It would have to be garbage truck."

            "Sirius!" Lily cried, and all three of them laughed. 

            "There's _nothing to worry about!"_

            "Sirius, with _you…there's _always _something to worry about," Lily teased._

            "I love you too," Sirius muttered rolling his eyes with a silly grin on his face.

            "Have fun," Lily added.

            "Yes, because baby-sitting a child who is just learning to walk and talk and knock things over sounds like _fun to me!" Sirius said sarcastically with a wink._

            "Hey, you're the one who's offering to do this by yourself," Lily joked.

            She ducked as Sirius tried to hit her on the head.  

            "Okay, have fun at the party, Lils," Sirius said, before apparating to Allie and Remus' house. 

            "Okay, let's go," Brett said and they apparated to a restaurant in California where Erik, Callie, Brad, Andy, Elizabeth, Zachary, and two people that Lily didn't know were already setting up everything.

            "You know everyone besides Leah Weiss and Jeremy Wichita," Brett said, pointing to the two people talking to each other in the back.  "They work with Shane."

            Lily nodded, and before she knew it, Shane showed up forty minutes later and the party began.

            "To Shane and a happy thirtieth birthday and to an upcoming year hopefully filled with many surprises," Callie said, toasting to the birthday man himself, and everyone clinked glasses. 

            "Do you want to dance?" Brett asked Lily, who was sitting right next to her.

            Lily smiled and gratefully accepted, "Sure."

            "You know…you're different than anyone I've ever met," Brett said a few minutes later.

            "Different?  In what way?" Lily asked with a grin.

            "Well…you're more spunky and out-going and yet…very mature.  You have this aura of satisfaction following you wherever you go.  And you're always positive, always with a smile."

            Lily blushed.  "Oh…well, thanks, Brett."

            "I'm not sure how to tell you this…but…" he trailed off.

            Lily looked up at him.  "Tell me what?  You can tell me anything."

            Brett looked down at her directly in the eye, and before either of them knew what was happening, Brett leaned in and kissed Lily full-blown hard on the mouth and then pulled away.

            Lily stopped dancing and looked up at Brett with confusion and fear shown in her eyes.  "I-I don't know what to say."

            "Lily-"

            "I-I…I have to go," Lily said, rushing away from Brett and out of the restaurant holding back the tears forming in her eyelids.  Not even realizing it, she started running to nowhere in particular as her whole body began to tremble.  She realized she just handled that so terribly, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "It's yummy food," Sirius said smacking his lips.  "Very good for you.  I know you want it," he teased the baby sitting in her high-chair who's hair was plastered with food.  "Here it comes, Jenna!  Open wide," Sirius said.  "Zoom, zoom!" Sirius said with a slight smile as he zoomed the spoon with the food around in the air like an airplane, straight for Jenna's mouth, who surprisingly ate the carrot baby food.

            _Knock, knock.  _Sirius jumped a little and looked at the door in confusion, wondering who the hell it could be.  "Come on, Jenna.  Let's go see who it is," Sirius said, picking up Jenna out of her high-chair and walking towards the door as another knock came to the door.

            He opened it and there stood Lily wearing a beautiful green cocktail dress that was now sticking to her legs because the dress was wet from the snow outside.

            "Lily?  What are you doing here?  I thought you were at the party," Sirius said, bewildered, as he hopped Jenna up and down on his leg.

            "I…I was," Lily said breathlessly. 

            "Then…why are you here now?"

            Lily opened her mouth to speak, then ended up closing it again and putting her head in her hands and moaned as she hunched down on the couch.  "I did a stupid thing, Sirius."

            "I'm sure you didn't and you just think you did," Sirius said, as Jenna gurgled at him and he smiled at her.

            "Brett kissed me."

            Sirius almost dropped Jenna.  

            "See?  Stupid," Lily commented.

            "That's not _your fault."_

            "Yeah, but I ran away from him.  He kissed me and…and I fled!"

            Sirius got off the chair and went over to sit by Lily.  "Why did you run?"

            "Because I didn't know what to do."

            "Yeah, but I know you have a reason.  I can tell."

            Lily sighed.  "I don't know."

            "Yes you do."

            Lily looked down at the ground.  "It's just that…well, the moment Brett kissed me…" she trailed off.

            "Yeah?  Go on…" Sirius urged, knowing what was coming next.

            "It felt…_different," Lily said with a groan.  _

            "_How different?"_

            Lily sighed, and looked up at Sirius who was wearing an eager look on his face.  "It…it wasn't James."

            Sirius half-grinned, but tried to hide it.  "You know what this means, right?"

            Lily shook her head vigorously.  "_No_," she replied with a hint of aggravation.  "Because it's been four years since I've _actually dated James!  __Four years, Sirius.  We may have had that one day where everything got screwed up two weeks ago, but I don't count that.  __That was just a mistake.  That was when I _thought _I realized that we were too different.  And _four_ __years is more than enough time to get over someone."_

            "So are you saying you're not over him yet?" Sirius asked, knowing that he was putting Lily right into a little trap of his own.

            "No!!  I _am _over him!!"

            "And yet you still fled when you kissed someone else," Sirius pointed out with a satisfied smile on his face.  "Someone _different."_

            Lily opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again.  

            "Someone who _isn't James," he concluded._

            She looked up at him in fear and astonishment. She ran her hand through her hair and let out a long, drawling sigh that she held on to for a long few seconds.  She looked up at the ceiling trying to search for an answer, but nothing came to her.  

            "You're right," Lily finally said, circling her head around and turning it towards Sirius.

            "About what??" he asked, knowing perfectly well what she was talking about.  But she was the one who needed to hear it come from her mouth.

            "Maybe I'm _not over him…maybe…maybe…"_

            "What?" Sirius said anxiously, just waiting for Lily to finally admit her feelings.  He knew what was coming next, but he also knew that Lily was afraid to say it.  He was just waiting until Lily finally had the courage to come out and confess her bottled-up, jumbled, mixed-around emotions inside her mind.

            "…Maybe I'm still in love with him," she whispered.  "Or maybe I just never _stopped loving him."_

            Sirius secretly smiled.  He had won…_James had won.  And in a way, Lily had won.  The question was, what was going to happen now. Sirius didn't even know the answer to that question._

            "I don't get it!  Two weeks ago I was telling myself that James and I changed over the years, and we had grown up and moved on, and we _weren't mean-to-be and are now __very different from each other!"_

            "Maybe you're not as different as you think…"

            "But…_how?" Lily groaned.  "I've been fine for four years without him.  When I saw James with Avril two weeks ago, I __wanted to hate him.  But I didn't.  I just realized that we needed some time alone to discover our differences.  There hasn't been a day where I looked back on us and secretly wished that we had never broken up.  I mean, there are days where I'm not __glad we're broken up, but I'm fine with us being friends!!  This is…this is just an inconvenience to _both _of us!" Lily cried angrily._

            "Lily, I understand completely.  You're just feeling helpless and bewildered.  Trust me, I've been there…_everyone has been there."_

            "I hate that," she groaned.

            He couldn't help but laugh.  "I know."

            "This sucks.  I…I don't even know what to think anymore."

            "I can't tell you how you're feeling, but I know you'll figure it out, Lils.  In fact, you've already got it figured out," he pointed out.  "You've just got to do something about it.  And I'm here to talk.  I just can't make your decisions."

            Lily sighed.  "I knew you were going to say that.  But thanks.  I think I'm going to go to Hogsmeade or something and just take a walk or whatnot.  I think I'll stop by later tonight, though."  

            Sirius nodded.  "Okay.  I'll be here with this cute wittle baby, Jenna," Sirius said in baby-voice, and Lily laughed. "Until about midnight if you need me for anything."

            Lily nodded.  "Okay.  Thanks again."

            "Anytime."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "So, how was Jenna tonight?" Allie asked.

            "Jenna?  Who's Jenna?  Was I supposed to be watching her?" Sirius teased.

            "What!?" Allie cried.

            "Al, calm down.  I was just kidding," Sirius said.

            Josh laughed and Allie rolled her eyes.  "I can't believe Josh talked me into letting only _you _baby-sit tonight."

            "Hey, she was great.  She watched Barney for a while and we played a bit with her toys, then I gave her those gross mashed carrots," Sirius said with a face, "And she ate them, surprisingly, and then I changed her diaper, which was _sooo _much fun," Sirius said sarcastically, and they all laughed.  "And I put her down to bed at seven and she went to sleep without a problem.  She's a great kid, guys."

            Allie and Josh looked at him astonished.  "Wh-what?"

            Sirius was taken aback.  "Uh…what?  Did I do something wrong?"

            "Well…she usually hates strangers, no offense," Josh said to Sirius.  "And every night she cries before bed until one of goes in there and rocks her.  And she _never _eats!"

            Sirius looked at them like they were crazy.  "She didn't cry at all.  She was a very easy baby to baby-sit for.  I even had some fun."

            "Wow," Allie said in amazement.  "You're going to make a great father someday, you know that, Sirius?"

            Sirius blushed.  "I don't know about that, but-"

            "I do," Allie said with a smile.

            Sirius blushed again.  "Well…thanks.  And if you ever need a baby-sitter again, just call me.  I'd be happy to do it."

            Allie smiled at him.  "I think we'll take you up on that offer.  Especially after this little one is born," she said, patting her stomach.  Yep, Allie was pregnant again, but just barely. Only about two months.

            "So are you going home for Christmas tomorrow?" Sirius asked Allie and Josh.

            "Yeah, tomorrow we're heading to Belgium for my mother's family reunion," Josh said.  "Hopefully it will be fun.  My mother wants to see Jenna again anyway."

            "What about you?  What are you doing for Christmas?" Allie asked Sirius.

            "I think I'm going home with James because Kaitlynne and Remus are going to Kaitlynne's grandfather's place and Lily's going with them and Andy, and Peter's going down to Africa with a bunch of co-workers or something.  So James invited me to his mother's house for the day."

            "Oh, well have fun," Allie said with a grin.

            "Yeah, you too.  And I'll see you…whenever," Sirius said with a chuckle and a wink before apparating back to Alphamstone, where it was about one o'clock in the morning…realizing it was Christmas.

            "Yeah…what a great Christmas," Sirius muttered as he turned on the light to his living room, and turned off the light to the outside.  "I'm not even sure I'm doing anything yet," he said with a sigh.

            He couldn't help but realize that the past year had been somewhat lousy.  He had a nice job and a bunch of great friends, but when it came to holidays, he always ended up alone.  He had no family and he always felt like a tag-along or a third wheel.  He hated the feeling…especially on _Christmas. _

            He sighed.

            Lately, things have been strange.  He's never had the feeling of aloneness and despair, but that's the feeling he's been getting.  There were times where he welcomed the silence but most of the time the silence was just another word for awkwardness.  Sirius liked being busy and he liked having things to do.  Around the holidays, the joke shop was closed so Sirius always got the paperwork done ahead of time.  But then he ended up being _bored_.  He was always restless and anxious for something…_anything_.  He just never knew what that something was…and for all he knew, that something may never come. 

            There were only so many times that Sirius could wander into Three Broomsticks or the Leaky Cauldron or the Firefly or any other place in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley.  After a while, Sirius just felt like he would go to Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley just to pass the time away and act as if he was a busy man.  He probably saw more of Rosmerta than he did anyone else in his life.

            He sighed and walked towards the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee or something.  Just as he turned on the coffee maker, there was a knock on the door.  He knew it was Lily, so he immediately started towards the door and turned on the outside light.

            Sirius noticed that the snow was coming down in hard, white, cold sheets and flurries.  The flakes were as big as paper and the wind just blew up the sandy part of the snow from the woods.  It was a jumble of everything in nature, and Sirius couldn't even see the person standing on his front porch.

            He opened the door and gasped. 

            Sirius just stood there in awe, with all breath sucked out of his body for a few seconds, before he gained control of his breathing and his talking skills.  "Savannah…" Sirius murmured breathlessly with an obvious confused expression on his face. 

**A/N: **CLIFFHANGER! Don't flame me because of this cliffhanger—this one is a _biiiiiiiiiiiig__ one, ain't it!?  I wonder what's going to happen next between them!!!!!  And what about Lily and James?  Is she going to tell him how she feels now?  What's going on in the land of love with everyone!?  Are Lily and James __and Savannah and Sirius gonna get back together!?  Or is everyone gonna be mad at Savannah for not keeping in touch!?  And is Lily going to mention anything to James?  If she does, what happens then?  CLIFFHANGER!!!_

            READ AND REVIEW, THANKS!


	23. Truly, Madly, Deeply

**A/N: **I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!  I know, I know—I haven't updated in a while, and I'm truly sorry!  But I've been sooooooooooooooooooo busy that I haven't had the time to go on the computer except for the occasional e-mail check or college research.  I've been bombarded with field hockey, schoolwork, college applications, college essays, etc. that I haven't had any breathing time in a while.  But now I'm back and I'm updating like I promised…

ANSWERS ARE REVEALED In THIS CHAPTER SO READ CAREFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Disclaimer: **I'm not J.K. Rowling but everything you don't recognize belongs to MOI!

****

**MEMORIES**

_CHAPTER 24: Truly, Madly, Deeply ****_

****

_Written by ByeByeBirdie  _

            _Knock, knock_.

            Brett opened the door and didn't say anything.

            "Hi," Lily said breathlessly.  "Listen, I know it's Christmas, but I really need to talk to you."

            Brett still didn't say anything, and instead he leaned on the doorframe with an emotionless look on his face.

            "Brett, I'm sorry about last night.  I-"

            "Forget it," he said coldly.

            "No, I _won't forget it," Lily said firmly.  "You deserve an explanation, and I'm not leaving until I give it to you."_

            "I know I deserve an explanation, but I'm not so sure if I care enough to hear it from you."

            _Ouch_, Lily thought.  "I know I'm probably the last person you want to be talking to at the moment, but I really want to explain myself."

            Brett sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.  "Fine," he sighed.  "But make it **qduick.  I have family inside waiting for me."**

            "I didn't run out on you because I hated you or anything-"

            "Is this supposed be a _good explanation?" Brett said, aggravated._

            Lily cracked a smile.  "Yes, just hear me out."

            Brett snickered.  "Whatever."

            "It wasn't about you…it was about _me," Lily continued.  "I thought I was over James, but it just turns out that I was holding my feelings for him inside for way too long and the moment you kissed me, I realized that I was still in love with him.  And I hate that feeling and I hated the fact that I handled last night completely wrong, but I didn't know what to do or think.  The only thing going through my mind was James…over and over again.  I feel terrible for the way I acted, and I just hope you can forgive me."_

            Brett sighed.  "I guess I have to."

            Lily was taken aback.  "What?  Why?  I don't want you to feel like you _have _to forgive me…"

            "It's not that.  It's just that…well, Lily, I know how you feel."

            Lily looked up at him with a surprised look on her face.  "Y-you do?"

            He nodded.  "I had a girlfriend of four years, and she broke up with me one day for another guy.  I thought I hated her and I thought I'd never forgive her, but eventually I got over her…or so I thought.  Two years later, I started dating someone else.  But I kept comparing her with Lissa—my old girlfriend—and I realized I wasn't over Lissa yet.  So, I know what you're going through."

            Lily smiled.  "This was easier than I thought it would be."

            Brett smiled.  "Just follow your heart, Lily.  Don't hold off too long.  Trust me, I've learned the wrong way."

            "Wow."

            "What?" he asked curiously.

            "I thought I would come here and be ridiculed and insulted by you until I cried, but instead you're giving me advice about my former boyfriend.  It's a little bit different of my predicted situation."

            He laughed.  "Yeah, well I have multi-personalities."

            "And I thank you for that.

            He smiled at her.  "I thank myself for it, as well.  I wouldn't have been too happy if we ended up not being friends."

            "Neither would I," she said with a slight chuckle.  "Which is why I forced myself to come here today.  I didn't want to wait too long to talk to you, and even though it's Christmas I decided that now is as good as time as any to beg for forgiveness."

            "You didn't need to beg at all," he said with a laugh.  "Of course I forgive you.  You should be forgiving _me for my unexpectedness anyhow."_

            "There's no need to feel sorry about it, though," Lily pointed out.

            "I wouldn't say I feel _sorry about it…just guilty and inane." _

            Lily laughed and looked up at Brett's deep-colored eyes staring down at her.  "You're a really good friend, Brett, and don't ever forget that."

            "Thanks, and you're a good friend, as well, Lily.  Good luck with James," Brett said with a grin plastered on his face.  "I hope you two will end up together one day.  If not, I'd have to say he's rather unaware of what a great person you are."

            Lily blushed.  "Awww, thanks Brett."

            "No problem," he replied backing up a bit inside his house.  "I'll see you around."

            "You, too," Lily said.  "Call me later this week and we can hang out."

            He nodded and agreed wholeheartedly.  "Sure thing."

            She winked at him and then turned around and walked down his front pathway with a long sigh, thinking about James and what she was going to do about her feelings for him.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            There was one more stop on Lily's agenda.

            _Knock, knock_.

            The door opened and Lily stood there in shock and confusion, not comprehending the fact that she was standing on the Potters' doorstep.

            "Lily!" Caroline Potter cried.  "It's so great to see you!!  Come on in!"

            Lily smiled and obeyed.  "How are you doing?"

            "I've been great lately.  And I'm very excited about this Christmas especially, since James has finally visited me and his relatives."

            Lily smiled.  "Speaking of James, is he here now?  I need to talk to him."

            "Oh, sure, sure," she said, walking into the kitchen.

            A few seconds later, James walked into the entranceway with a perplexed look on his face.  "Lily, hey!  What are you doing here?  I thought you were with Kaitlynne and Remus."

            "I thought I was, too, but…" Lily trailed off with a worried look on her face.  Her knuckles were white, and her face was paling as well.

            "But what?"

            "Well…I needed to talk to you."

            James nodded.  "Okay, about what?"

            Lily sighed.  Was she actually going to do it?  She wanted to and she knew she had to, but it was also the hardest thing she'd have to do in a long time…especially when it came to James.  She opened her mouth and closed it a few times, but no words came out.  She was so scared…but so determined to leave with what she wanted.

            "Um…well, I was talking to Sirius last night and…"

            James gave her a suspicious look.  "Is everything okay, Lily?"

            She nodded as a big lump formed in her throat.  "Yeah," she croaked.

            "Are you sure?  You look really…confused and worried about something.  What's wrong?"

            "Uh…nothing really," Lily said nervously.

            "Oh, Jamesie-poo!" a voice cried from the dining room. 

            _Jamesie-poo_?? Lily thought.

            A second later, who should walk out but Avril Harper…

            "Hey, James, honey," she said with a sweet, innocent smile.  "We're about to eat."

            "Hello, Avril," Lily felt the courage to say.

            "Oh, hey…er…Lindsay, is it??" she smirked, knowing perfectly well who it was.  Avril knew about their history as well as everyone in the history of Hogwarts knew, and she was obviously gloating about the fact that _she _was with him now and _not _Lily.  Two weeks earlier, it was the other way around and Avril loved throwing it back in her face!

            Actually, Avril was always jealous of the friendship _and _the relationship between Lily and James and had always wished that it were _her hanging all over James everywhere they went.  So, even plenty of years after Hogwarts, Avril would take any chance she got to rain on Lily's parade…if only she knew why Lily was there in the first place._

            Lily nodded, not bothering to correct her name, but James was two steps ahead of her.

            "It's Lily," James corrected.

            "Oh…right," Avril said with that phony smile of hers plastered on her face.  "Are _you _staying for dinner with us?"

            James turned to her and it was obvious that he was going to offer, but Lily interrupted his thoughts and his opened mouth.  

            "Oh, no, I can't," Lily lied.  "I already ate with Sirius," she fibbed.  She knew that Sirius had cancelled his Christmas plans with James, but she had no idea why, and she was hoping that James didn't know why.

            But if James did know, he didn't say, because James just left it at that.

            "Oh, well too bad," Avril emphasized, obviously not upset about Lily not staying with them.

            "Avril, I'll be right in," James urged, still wondering what Lily was doing on his front steps on Christmas morning.  He felt a bit awkward with Lily in front of him and Avril next to him, but he and Lily agreed that it wouldn't be able to work out between them again so that moving on was the next step.  And that's what he was doing.  He just hoped that Lily didn't feel awkward…

            "Not without a kiss, you won't," she snickered.

            James chuckled.  "Avril…" he warned.

            She gave him a puppy-dog face and whimpered slightly.

            James laughed and gave her a quick kiss before she skipped back into the dining room.

            Lily was furious and she could feel the hot tears on the corner of her eyes, but she tried holding them back.  _Great timing, Lily_, she couldn't help but think.  It felt as if her heart was ripped into a million pieces and the pieces were strewn about the room randomly.  She knew it has been four years, but…it still hurt knowing that she could have had a little bit of a chance just a few weeks ago.

            "How long have you two…" Lily trailed off.

            "For _now?  Only a week," he answered with a confused smile, which just made Lily feel even worse than she already was.  "I like her…and when you and I didn't work out, I called her up again.  When Remus met her in Hogsmeade a few Saturdays ago and told me I needed to start dating, I did.  And then when you and I got back together…well, you know that story.  But I called her last Monday and I invited her to dinner with me tonight, and she agreed."_

            Lily nodded, mostly because she couldn't speak or else she knew she's be quivering and she refused to let James see her upset at the idea of him and another girl.

            "So, what were you trying to tell me?" James said, interrupting her thoughts.

            "Oh…uh…" Lily stuttered.  She was in a bit of a rut and didn't know how to get out of it…  "Um, nothing.  Never mind.  It wasn't that important…actually I forget what I was supposed to tell you anyway," she lied. 

            James looked at her suspicious and was about to open his mouth, but Lily cut him off.  "Have a good Christmas, and I'll see you whenever I do," she finished, before rushing out of the house.

            "You, too, Lily," he said, confused and feeling a little skeptical. "Are you sure you didn't have to tell me anything?"

            Lily shook her head.  "Yeah.  Just forget it…never mind.  Just…uh…just have a very Merry Christmas.  Oh…and congratulations with Avril."

            James nodded, knowing that she was hiding something. "Okay.  Then…then I-I guess I'll see you later."

            She nodded.  "Merry Christmas," she responded, before apparating back to her house.

            She let the tears fall down her face like tiny raindrops.  Lily was in pain, and she knew it.  She's never felt that way before.  Sure, she's been hurt many times before with James, but this was different.  Because Lily _had the chance, and she blew it—two times in a row she screwed it up with James and there wasn't anything she could really do about it._

            And now…now Avril took him away from her once again and there was nothing she could do about it.

            She trudged up the stars in her house in a complete melancholy daze, trying to figure out what could have gone wrong between her and James to end it so nonchalantly.  She sighed.  She was finally admitting her feelings towards James and she couldn't do anything about that except hold it in for as long as she needed to.  

            She flung herself on to her bed and sobbed into her pillow.  It just wasn't fair…James was _hers_!!  She's _always thought of it like that, but now…now everything was different.  Because James had moved on…moved on from her.  He had gotten over her, but Lily hadn't gotten over James.  She hated having the feeling of emptiness, but that's what it was.  Because James wasn't hers anymore…  It was obvious that whatever James and Lily had felt about each other before was long-gone and in the past, and Lily shouldn't dwell on it.  She thought she had it all figured out two weeks earlier and now she had no idea what to think or how to act…_

            And she still couldn't help but feel the way she did.

            What a lousy way to spend Christmas… 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Sirius and Savannah stood there just staring at each other in shock,

            Neither of them knew what to say for a good minute and Savannah stood there in the blizzard trembling, and Sirius stood in his doorway with no jacket, freezing his ass off, letting the snow blow into his house.  

            Before Sirius knew what he was doing, he was embracing Savannah so tightly that he could smell the shampoo in her hair and he could feel her shaking all over.  Savannah returned the hug even tighter.  They were both shaking…mostly from shock, but also from happiness, and Savannah from being freezing and wet.

            "Oh, God, Sirius.  I've missed you so much," Savannah said, letting a tear from her face fall into Sirius' hair.  

            Sirius pulled her tighter and nodded, feeling the hot tears well up in his eyes.  He had wanted to be with her _soooo _much that it had been aching and now that he had almost tried to forget about their former relationships, she shows up.  Bad timing…and yet it felt so good.  "I know.  I've missed you, too," he whispered. "Oh, Savannah—I just can't believe it's you…"

            They eventually let go, and Sirius invited Savannah inside, out of the snow and out of the cold.

            "What are you doing here Savannah?" Sirius asked.

            Savannah looked shamefully at the ground.  "Daniel ran off with his co-worker tonight…and for forever.  We've been having some major problems lately and I guess he just couldn't handle it anymore.  And I knew I couldn't take care of the house or the baby all by myself, so I came back to England.  But when I got here I didn't know what to do or where to go.  I ended up wandering around Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade for a while and then I started walking down random roads, still not sure what to do or where to go."

            "In this blizzard you were out there by yourself with a _child_??" Sirius asked, outraged.

            She dropped her head in shame.  "It started snowing harder, and I knew I was stuck.  But I couldn't help but think that it was a lousy Christmas Eve and there was nothing I could do to change that.  But…I…well…I came here.  I-I didn't know where else to turn, Sirius," Savannah said, already beginning to cry.

            He hugged her again.  "You came to the right place, Savannah."

            "I was afraid you'd hate me."

            Sirius stopped breathing for a second before taking a deep breath in and out.  "I'd never be able to hate you, Savannah."

            "I don't know what to do, Sirius.  I have nowhere to go, no job, no money, no family, no…anything."

            "Yes you do.  You have me," Sirius said from the bottom of his heart.  "Savannah, you can stay here for as long as you need and I know you'll be able to get a job and you're going to be fine."

            "How do you _know that?"_

            "Because I know _you.  And that's enough to know anything __about you."_

            Savannah smiled at him as Sirius peered over Savannah's shoulder.  "So…uh…that's…uh…" Sirius stuttered looking at the sleeping child in a stroller.  He knew who it was…it just hurt a little to say it.

            "That's Elizabeth," Savannah said beaming.

            Sirius tried to shake the awkward feeling out of the back of his neck.  So it wasn't his…and he may hate that, but he didn't want to show it.

            "She's adorable," Sirius said realizing how cute the child was.  "How old is she?"

            "She just turned two last month.  And she's crawling and trying to work on the walking part.  She doesn't say any words yet, although she does like to babble to herself a lot," Savannah said with a smile.

            "She's got your eyes."

            "I know.  Everyone says so," Savannah said, staring at Elizabeth for a second with a bright smile on her face as Sirius watched Savannah.  "You know Sirius…she doesn't have a middle name."

            "What?  Why not?"

            "Don't you remember?"

            "Remember what?"

            "The bet we made in sixth year," Savannah said.

**~ ~ ~ ~ F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            "I know it was stupid, Vannie!" Sirius cried.

            "No, it was _more that stupid!!  I trusted you this time, Sirius Black!!  I thought that maybe you changed.  Maybe you wouldn't hurt me again, but this is the fourth time and I'm tired of it!" Savannah cried.  "I probably should have learned my lesson the first three times, but obviously I was too dumb to remember."_

            "Vannie-"

            "No, just stop it.  I can't even stand to be around you anymore.  But I'm sure _Campbell__ wouldn't mind it."_

            "Savannah Turner, you listen to me right now, I-"

            "No, _you listen to me, Sirius Black.  Don't come crawling back to me when you've realized you made a stupid mistake that you can't take back.  I don't need you in my life anymore.  Just stay out of it, and _I _will be happy."  She started to walk away, but Sirius grabbed her arm._

            "Wait.  Fine, I'll do this for you just because I _know I can't take back what had happened.  But-"_

            "There's a but??" she asked angrily, pulling her arm away from him.

            "Yes there's a but.  I just want to say that _I know you and I will end up friends again and maybe even start dating again, because it's usually what we do, and-"_

            "No, not this time.  It's different now, Sirius Black.  Now I've learned my lesson and I've realized I don't need you."

            "Fine, say what you want to say, but I'm betting that you will."

            "Betting?" she questioned angrily.  "You know what?  _I _bet that I _won't _ever date you again."

            "Oh, really?" he said.  "And what do I get if you _do start dating me??"_

            "I'm not betting against us, Sirius!!"

            "Because you know I'm right."

            "No, because I _really don't want to stand here and talk with you!  I'm __done talking—I just want to walk away and not have to deal with you!"_

            "You'd just be running away again…"

            Savannah rolled her eyes at him and smirked angrily.  "Get off my back, Black."

            "Fine, run from this, see if I care."

            "I can do whatever I _want, Sirius!  You don't control me and you __never will!"_

            "You don't know that," he pointed out.  

            "Yes I do," she said angrily.

            "Then bet."

            "_NO!"_ Savannah cried.

            "Just do it and I'll leave."

            Savannah hesitated.  "Really?"

            He nodded.

            Savannah rolled her eyes.  "Fine…but you have to leave me alone when I'm through with this!"

            "I promise."

            "…100 galleons?" Savannah cried, frustrated.

            "No money."

            "And why _not??"_

            "Because I'm broke."

            "So you admit you're going to lose?"

            "Savannah, just choose something else," Sirius said hastily.

            "Jackass," she muttered.  "Why don't _you choose?  If __I'm the one who's going to be losing, so _you _say, shouldn't __you be choosing??"_

            "Fine, fine. How about I can…uh…name your first child's _middle _name," Sirius said spontaneously.  

            "_What!?"_

            "Hey we were talking about my aunt's baby today and that's the first thing that came to mind!!"

            Savannah laughed evilly.  "You actually think I'd _trust me with giving your child a middle name?"_

            "Well, I know _you'd hunt me down and kill me if I choose Xavier or __Sirius or Ms. Ugly Face or…or…Bitch or whatnot."_

            "Fine, I'll take that bet.  And I get to name _your first child's middle name if I don't date you by the time you have your first child."_

            "Fine, agreed," Sirius said shaking hands with Savannah.

            "Now, leave me alone," Savannah said, pushing past him.  "Besides, I think _Campbell__ was looking for you."_

            "_You know I'm sorry about that and that it was a stupid thing to do!!_" Sirius cried after her, but Savannah didn't bother turning around to curse him out.

**~ ~ ~ ~ E N D   OF   F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            "Oh, my gosh," Sirius said.  "I completely forgot about that."

            "I didn't.  And I never break a promise…or a bet."

            "So you actually want me to give her a middle name."

            "Yeah.  I trust you, Sirius," Savannah said.  "I think."

            "Oh, that's reassuring," he said sarcastically.

            Savannah laughed.

            "Alright, Xavier it is," Sirius joked.

            "Sirius!" Savannah warned.

            "Okay, fine…_Sirius sounds better anyway," Sirius said with a grin. _

            "Sirius!" Savannah said with a laugh.

            "And you seem to agree."

            "SIRIUS!!"

            "I'll think of a middle name while you get out of those clothes and into comfortable, dry, _warm ones okay?" Sirius said. "And I was just about to make hot coffee." _

            "I don't have any other clothes to put on," Savannah said quietly.

            "Okay," Sirius said. "Hold on." Sirius went to get sweats and a sweatshirt of his for Savannah, a blanket for her, and then a second blanket for Elizabeth.

            "Sirius, you don't have to get me clothes, it's fine," Savannah called out to Sirius, knowing exactly what he was doing. 

            "No, you're right. I'll just let you freeze to death and feel really guilty," Sirius said sarcastically. "Here put these on. I'll cover Elizabeth with this blanket." Savannah just smiled.

            "You don't have to do that," Savannah said.

            "I am _not gonna let a child into my house while she is shaking from the cold and not give her some attention," Sirius said. _

            "You've always been good with kids…you know that right?" Savannah said.

            "You're the second one to tell me that today," Sirius said.

            "Who else?"

            "I baby-sat Jenna today and Allie and Josh told me I was great with her," Sirius said.

            "Who's Jenna?"

            "Allie and Josh's baby."

            "They have a baby?!" Savannah exclaimed. 

            Sirius looked up from covering the baby up and just kind-of looked at her oddly.  He almost forgot that Savannah didn't know anything about anyone.  He couldn't help but realize that things have changed since she's been in touch with anyone and he couldn't help but feel a bit awkward.  

            "Yeah, and she has another on the way," Sirius said eventually, turning away and trying to push the awkwardness away.

            "Wow," Savannah said. "What else is new around here?"

            "Lily moved back to England and James is now living in England as well."

            "Lily moved _back!?" _

            "Yeah.  She got a great job working at the international office of _Daily Prophet_."

            "That's awesome!!"

            "What about you?  What's going on with _your job?"_

            Savannah sighed.  "Well, I haven't had time to our with anybody or even _practice _any of my songs, so I've just been hanging back and Daniel kind of paid our way through everything."

            "But what about your song lyrics?  You write so well!"

            "I haven't had time," she sighed.  

            Sirius nodded, as if to understand.

            "God I've missed so much around here," she said, changing the subject.

            "Yeah…unfortunately…you have," Sirius said. 

            "I wish I hadn't."

            "I do too." They smiled at each other. 

            "Okay, go get into those warm clothes now," Sirius said.

            "You'll make a great father someday," Savannah said.

            "I hope so," Sirius said as he watched Savannah walk into the bathroom and change. She came out a few minutes later looking like an oversized…Sirius.

            "These are a _little big Si," Savannah said. Sirius laughed at how she looked._

            "But they're warm…you can't argue with that," Sirius said. "It's not my fault you're so small."

            Savannah smiled and turned back to the sleeping Elizabeth.

            "Savannah, can I ask you a question?"

            Savannah turned back to Sirius and she nodded.

            Sirius leaned against the couch and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out a way to word what he wanted to say.  "Um…why didn't you ever write to any of us?  Or _call us?  We were all worried and when Lily told me a few months after you left that you hadn't written, I began to wonder if you were _ever _going to write to us."_

            Savannah sighed, and turned back to Elizabeth.  She paused a long time and didn't know how to answer.  It was a good question and Savannah truly didn't know what to tell him…or _anyone _at that matter.  It was one of her biggest regrets that she's had in her entire lifetime but it was too late now to worry about it.

            "I-I don't know," Savannah stuttered.  "I didn't at first because…because I was trying to get _my _life back on track.  I was so busy the first couple of weeks talking to different agents and unpacking all of our stuff, that I didn't have a lot of time to write to anyone.  But as the weeks turned to months, and as the months turned to years, it just…it just got complicated.  I was afraid that you'd all hate me for leaving and for not writing, so I ended up putting it off for longer than I expected.  And then…then I decided just to let it all go.  After a year I just…I just knew that my life back in England was over with.  I didn't live there any more and I wasn't a part of it.  It was different.  I changed…and my life changed.  I was afraid to go back to the way it was because I figured you had all moved on without me."

            "We all held on to you, though," Sirius said barely audible.  "None of us forgot you and none of us _let _each other forget you.  You were a big part of _my _life…and everyone else's life.  _That we'd never forget.  You will always belong with us here in England, no matter __where you are.  No one moved on without you.  Sure, we all moved on but that's because we __had to…but we didn't move on __without you.  You were still there in spirit and in memories."_

            Savannah smiled.  "I was an idiot, wasn't I…"

            "I'd have to say yes to that."

            Savannah smirked.  "It's just…well, every time I picked up a quill pen and a piece of parchment I just stared at the paper holding the pen and ink in my hands.  My mind went blank.  I didn't know what to say…so I didn't say _anything_."

            "We all missed you."

            Savannah looked up at him with a look in her eyes that only Sirius had ever seen before…hope and love.  "I missed you, too."

            Sirius gave her a pat on the shoulder, and they both welcomed the awkward silence, before Savannah broke the tension. 

            "So I'm dying for some coffee," Savannah said. Sirius laughed.

            "I can only do one thing at a time," Sirius said.

            "Then I'll make it," Savannah said.

            "Well I'm done wrapping Elizabeth up so _I can do it," Sirius said._

            "You never did let me do anything on my own," Savannah said.

            "Well if I'm here I don't feel as if you _need _to."

            "But you don't have to make coffee for me, bundle up my child, give me warm clothes and I see you started a fire as well," Savannah said.

            Sirius shrugged. "It's the least I can do."

            "Sirius, _I should be doing all of this. I come over here uninvited when I haven't seen or talked to you for over two years. You shouldn't be doing __any of this. You should be sleeping and not having to bother with me."_

            "You and I _both know that won't _ever _happen," Sirius said to her._

            "Yeah," Savannah said with a smile. "I know. But you sit right here and _I'm _going to make coffee."

            "No, I a-" Sirius started.

            "Sit!" Savannah ordered. Sirius laughed.

            "Fine." Sirius sat down and admired Elizabeth. He couldn't help but to admit to himself that the baby looked a lot like Savannah but also a lot like Daniel and of course…nothing like him. And he couldn't help admitting that he wished with all his heart that it were his child. 

            Elizabeth must have known Sirius was staring at her intensively because she woke up and started wailing.

            "Oh Elizabeth!" Savannah cried, running from the kitchen.

            "Hey, hey!" Sirius exclaimed. "Go back to making coffee. I'll deal with her."

            "But, you don-" Savannah said.

            "Go!" Sirius ordered and Savannah just grinned and went back.  Sirius picked Elizabeth up and wasn't quite sure how to get her back to sleep until he remembered a song that he used to sing to Savannah when she was asleep.  He refused to let her make fun of him in school J.  But now…everything seemed too perfect for Sirius to care anymore.

**~ ~ ~ ~ F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            "You mean a lot to me Savannah. I don't ever want to lose you…again," Sirius was saying to Savannah a few weeks before graduation. They were sitting under their favorite tree and it was one o'clock in the morning. 

            "You won't have to," Savannah murmured before she fell asleep in his arms. Sirius sighed, he couldn't believe how happy he was. 

            Before he knew what he was doing he was singing to her but he was really glad she was asleep because when they were eighteen, singing to his girlfriend felt dorky.

_            "I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy. _

_ I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need. _

_ I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do. _

_I will be strong I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning; _

_A reason for living; A deeper meaning. _

_I want to stand with you on a mountain. _

_I want to bathe with you in the sea. _

_I want to lay like this forever. _

_Until the sky falls down on me..." Sirius sang softly to her and soon he was asleep along with her._

**~ ~ ~ ~ E N D  OF  F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            Sirius sat there holding Elizabeth in his arms and began to sing to her.

_"I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy. _

_ I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need. _

_ I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do. _

_I will be strong I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning; _

_A reason for living; A deeper meaning. _

_I want to stand with you on a mountain. _

_I want to bathe with you in the sea. _

_I want to lay like this forever. _

_Until the sky falls down on me..._" Sirius sang softly. After each line Elizabeth got softer and softer until she was asleep again and not wailing at all but sleeping peacefully.

            He was looking down at Elizabeth, rocking her to sleep, knowing that Savannah couldn't hear him because she was in the other room. The only thing was, he was paying so much attention to the baby that he didn't even notice Savannah come into the room and lean against the doorframe. Sirius slowly put Elizabeth back in her stroller and wrapped her up so she was warm.

            "That was pretty," Savannah whispered. Sirius jumped a mile.

            "Oh…I…you…we…I didn't know you were listening," Sirius stuttered as he turned beet red. Savannah smiled and walked over to him and handed him his coffee.

            "You used to sing that to me," Savannah said. 

            Sirius spit out his coffee.   "Wh-what?"

            Savannah laughed.  "I loved to hear you sing it but I didn't want you to know or you wouldn't do it anymore. I knew you sang it to me almost evertime you thought I was asleep so I just acted I was asleep all the time," Savannah admitted.

            "But…but…"

            "I was always awake…"

            "You little sneak," Sirius said with a smile and took another sip of his coffee "You remembered how I like my coffee."

            "Of course I do," Savannah said.  "I only remember the important things." They both smiled at each other. "I can't believe how great you are with her," Savannah said pointing her head to Elizabeth. Sirius shrugged.

            "I guess it just comes naturally," Sirius said.

            "I just figured you…you…that…I…we…nevermind."

            "No tell me…what is it?"

            "Well…it's Elizabeth.  She's…" Savannah trailed off.

            "I know what you mean but just because Elizabeth is half Daniel's, doesn't mean I'm not going to care."

            "And it's not just Elizabeth.  It's me, also.  I just figured that when I showed up you wouldn't want anything to do with me," Savannah said. "And you-"

            "Why wouldn't I want anything to do with you?"

            "Because you said to me when I told you I was pregnant that you didn't want to see me again if you couldn't be_ with me at that time." _

            Sirius looked up at Savannah and knew that deep down inside _he _thought he'd be feeling that way.  "I meant it then…and I always thought I'd feel that way, Savannah.  But I realized…you're too important to me to be out of my life _forever_.  I've always loved you, and nothing's going to change that.  I just needed time to realize that you and I were over.  I think you gave me more than enough time, though." 

            Savannah lost her breath at that moment and looked him in the eyes.  "I've missed you, Sirius.  But after what you said the last time I saw you…I couldn't handle dealing with…_anyone.  So I shut everyone out of my life.  Now I'm just afraid of what they're all going to do and say."_

            "Don't worry about it.  I think if _I can forgive you, that everyone else can."_

            "Sirius, you're so understanding.  The truth is…I never figured out why I turned to Daniel when the one man I've _always been in love with was so close to me."_

            Sirius looked at her for a long minute.  He then looked down at the ground, not sure of what to say.

            "You know what I realized when you left?" He said quietly.

            "What?"

            "Well…I've hurt you many times in the past time, right?"

            Savannah gave him a strange look, wondering why he was bringing this up.  "Yeah…"

            "I finally realized how it felt to be the one feeling the pain," he explained.  "I don't think anything hurt more than that…and I don't think anything ever will.  I just realized how terribly I treated you over the years…"

            "Sirius…you've done stupid things, like kissing a girl…but I got _pregnant_.  To a man I wasn't even in _love with.  I'm so sorry," she said, sobbing gently._

            "Sorry?  There's nothing to be sorry for," Sirius said, stroking her back with a confused look on his face.

            "Yes there is," she said, hesitating.  "I'm sorry that it wasn't _you."_

**_Snow fell down_**

**_You were there_**

**_I cried for you _**

**_Knowing it wasn't fair_**

**_Storm-a-rushing in_**

**_Wind was howling_**

**_I thought of you, you were there_**

****

****Sirius froze.  Stopped breathing, stopped moving, stopped doing _anything_…was this really happening?  This has been his dream for as long as he could remember, but he never thought that it would actually happen…

            "Sirius…I love you," Savannah said quietly.  "I always have.  You were always the one that I was meant to be with…but I was too scared to admit it."

            Sirius looked up at her with passion deep in his eyes.  "Savannah, I knew from the moment that I saw you that you were the one.  You were the one I was supposed to marry.  You were the one I was supposed to love. You were the one who I was meant to be with _forever_."

            Savannah smiled, with a hint of glistening tears in the side of her eyelids.  "I'm just sorry I wasted two years of the time we could have been together."

            "We've grown up.  We're different now," Sirius pointed out.

            "We're more mature.  We now realize what we want in life," Savannah added. 

            "Yeah, and I'm not afraid to say it, Savannah.  I want _you."_

            Savannah smiled.  "I've _always _wanted you." 

            Sirius fixed a serious-stricken look on Savannah.  "Savannah, in a few minutes I'm going to ask you something that I'm either going to regret or something that's meant to be.  First off, you know I've hurt you multiple times and you've always been afraid I'd do it again…you're probably still afraid of that, because ever since you left for Canada, I always thought that it would be possible that perhaps you could hurt me once again.  I hated that feeling, but it was there."

            "Sirius, I-"

            "But I know one thing," Sirius interrupted.  "Now that I know how it feels, I'm never doing anything stupid to you again.  I promise you that.  In fact, I love you too much to do anything to you _ever _again."

            "But-"

            "You're probably wondering how you trust me this time, but…but I just have one thing to ask of you that I should've done a while ago."

            "Why are-"

            "No, let me finish.  Well…um…I just…this is going to sound so random, but I need to say it.  I need to know the truth.  I need to know what's going to become of us."

            "What are you-"

            "Savannah, um…well…er…Savannah Lydia Turner, will you marry me?"

**A/N: **GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Cliffhanger (again!)!!!!!!!!!!!  Hmm…what's gonna happen next between James and Lily, and Brett and Lily, and James and Avril?  Most importantly: what's Savannah gonna do!?  What is she gonna say!?  Hm…well, just keep on reading!! (I'll try to update soon!)

The songs were "Truly, Madly, Deeply," by Savage Garden and "To You I Belong," by B*Witched. 


	24. Wedding Bells

**A/N: **Yay!!  I'm baaaaaaaack!  And this time, I have more answers…and even more answers and cliffhangers!!  What happens with Sirius and Savannah?  And what will happen with the rest of the group when they find out she's back!?  

Anyway, I'm going to be reeeeeeeeeeeeally busy because of college applications and field hockey, so I may not get a chance to update as much as I was planning on.  I'm sorry…..But I'll try to update as much as possible!  Your reviews may help me so tell everyone to read this story and tell them to REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I am not a famous British author who makes tons more money than Queen Elizabeth…however I wish I was.  

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER 25: Wedding Bells ****

Written by ByeByeBirdie  

            Everything around Savannah stopped.  Her life froze.  She stopped breathing, she stopped moving, Sirius was a blur, the cars outside stopped honking, the bugs stopped chirping, the coffee maker stopped spurting.  She brought her hands to her mouth in shock and before she knew it, she was crying and saying, "Oh, yes!  Yes, Sirius, _yes."_

            Sirius leaned in and gave her a long, satisfying kiss.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and caressed his hair and Sirius wrapped his arms around her waist and stroked her back.  The kiss intensified, just as their passion for each other did.  They connected in a way no one could have figured it out.  They opened each other's hearts to each other and each other's desire.  They never realized how perfect they were for each other until this exact moment.  They never realized how much they missed each other's love until this exact moment.  They never realized how much they were meant to be…until this exact moment.

**_Whenever dark turns to night_**

**_And all the dreams sing their song_**

**_And in the daylight forever_**

**_To you I belong_**

            "I don't have a ring," Sirius admitted after pulling apart.

            Savannah wiped away the tears of happiness.  "I don't care.  I only want you…and now I've got that."

            "I had no idea what I was thinking until those words flooded out of my mouth.  I seriously thought I was going insane until you said yes.  And I realized all I've ever needed was you."

            "God, I love you so much, Si-Si.  Words can't even express it," she said breathlessly.

            "I love you, too…Vannie."  They shared another passionate kiss, before breaking apart. 

            "Leigh," Sirius muttered.

            "What?" Savannah asked, completely confused.

            "I've always wanted our child to be named Leigh…a middle name will have to do," Sirius teased. 

            "_Our child?"_

            "I don't know what I was thinking.  But I promised myself that that name was for you and me and you and me only."

            "But…Elizabeth…uh…"

            "Isn't mine?  It doesn't matter.  She's yours and _you're mine.  That's all that matters."_

            "Aw, Sirius," Savannah said, giving him a hug.  

            "Elizabeth Leigh Turner," Sirius mumbled.

            "No…Elizabeth Leigh Black."

            "You mean…"

            "If you wanted to, I think it would be nice if you adopted her."

            Sirius looked up at her with joyous, wondering eyes.  "Oh, God, I'd love that more than anything…beside you."

            "You're everything a girl could want," Savannah murmured.

            "And _you…you're everything _anyone _could want."_

            "I thought this Christmas was going to be one of the worst Christmas' ever…but nothing could get any better than this."

            Sirius grinned.  "Merry Christmas, Vannie."

            Savannah looked up towards him and into his eyes.  "Merry Christmas…Si-Si."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Finally on Sirius' birthday, Savannah and Sirius were ready to tell everyone that they were engaged.  They freaked out in past times and ended up not telling anyone, especially after Lily reacted to Savannah's return.  Lily was happy of course, but she was mad at Savannah for not keeping in touch.  Lily held a grudge for about a week, but eventually realized that she should just be happy that Savannah was back.  So, they eventually made up and everyone was one big, happy family.  Especially when Savannah officially moved into Sirius' house (_finally!_) and Peter moved out to his own apartment (more privacy he claimed) three blocks away from James. 

            "You guys, Savannah and I have some news that we've been holding in since Christmas," Sirius started.  "We were afraid to tell you guys for a while, just because it happened the day she arrived at my house and I knew that a few would disapprove at the time but…" Sirius trailed off.

            "Yeah?" James asked.

            "We're engaged," Savannah finished.

            Kaitlynne, Lily, Allie, Josh, James, Remus, and Peter all gasped.

            "Since _CHRISTMAS!?' Lily and James shrieked._

            Sirius and Savannah had guilty looks on their faces.  "Yes," Savannah squeaked.  

            "But…but…how?" Allie stuttered.

            "I love her.  I've _always _loved her and always will.  Unfortunately it took two and a half _horrible _years for me to figure that out.  Dating another year or so wouldn't have made my feelings any stronger than they are _now_…so I went ahead with it."

            "Awww," the three women cooed.  The men all laughed and rolled their eyes.

            "I can't believe you didn't tell us until _now_," Remus said in shock.

            "I know, I know.  We feel horrible," Savannah said.  "We were just afraid of your reactions."

            "Hey, I'm just glad you've _finally realized you two were meant to be together," Lily said with a rolling of her eyes, and they all laughed._

            "When's the wedding?" Josh asked.

            "June 1," they answered in unison.

            James and Lily stiffened when they heard the date.  Lily let out a little gasp that everyone missed except for James.  They exchanged a quick look before looking back at the ground in complete shock. For the past five years, they tried to ignore the date, refusing to think about the other person and refusing to _see the other person on that date.  They kept their mind on something else, usually work, and got through the day like a normal day.  Unfortunately, this year would be different.  They'd be forced to see each other.  What was going to be the happiest day of Sirius and Savannah's life…was going to be a disaster for Lily and James._

            Lily still hadn't gotten over James, but she still hasn't told him how she felt.  James had broken up with Avril not even a week after Christmas, but Lily held back from revealing her feelings.  Mostly because she knew that James had moved on and that he didn't feel the same about her anymore. 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            The next five months were mostly centered around Sirius and Savannah's wedding, except for other holidays and James' and Lily's birthdays.

_And then the big day came…   _

            "I can't believe I'm doing this," Savannah was saying to Lily, her maid-of-honor, standing in front of the three-sided mirror in her beautiful white wedding gown.  It was a strapless, shaping, satin white gown with a simple lacy veil on top of her head flowing down her beautiful golden honey hair.

            "Neither can I," Lily murmured happily.

            "And to Sirius," Savannah said breathlessly the tears glistening in her eyes.  "I've always dreamed this day would come, but I never actually thought about what would happen when it did.  And here it is.  The big day.  And I'm not nervous at all.  In fact…I'm so overjoyed.  I-I never knew I could be this happy."

            "Oh, God, Savannah.  I'm so happy for you," Lily said, getting all teary-eyed.  "And I'm happy you're finally ending up with the man you were always meant to be with."

            "Okay, I have to stop crying before my make-up goes running down my face."

            "Just think, Savannah. At this time tomorrow, you will be Mrs. Sirius Black."

            If it was possible, Savannah smiled even wider.  "I know.  That's what makes it so great."

**_If they were to write about the story of my life_**

**_They would have to mention you with every page they write_**

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Wow, I never thought this day would come," Sirius was saying to his best-man, James, in another room at the same time.

            "I know.  But I'm so happy for you now that it is," James explained…as honestly as he could.  James wasn't about to admit that he has a bit of depression still in his mind and his heart.

            James reached into his coat pocket and felt around for the ring that he still had from five years before…_Lily's ring. He's always kept it and that day just felt like a day that he needed it to be close with him.  Not only was it Sirius' and Savannah's wedding day, which just made him feel even more like a pathetic single bachelor, but it was his and Lily's Anniversary.   When he went into his bureau drawers, sitting on top of that was the ring behind a picture of him and Lily on Hogwarts' graduation night.  He stared at the ring for a good five minutes, for picking it up and slipping into his pocket.  He didn't know why…but he just wanted it.  Not just in remembrance…but for comfort.  He wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay._

            "Wow.  I've dreamt this since I was eighteen…with Savannah as the bride.  But I never thought it would actually come _true.  But now here we are and I know I could never be this happy again.  I don't think it's physically or mentally possible."_

            "I've never seen you this giddy, Sirius!" James said laughing.  "This is so great.  I couldn't be happier, Sirius.  I really am ecstatic.  You've finally got what you want."

**_If I were the ocean, you would be the shore_**

**_And one without the other would be needing something more_**

**_Cuz_****_ I have needs only you would know_**

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "I now pronounce you husband and wife," the minister said.  "You may now kiss the bride."

            Both Savannah and Sirius had tears streaming down their faces, along with half of the congregation, as Sirius bent down to give Savannah his first kiss as a married couple.

**_I have known the emptiness, the feeling out of touch_**

**_Living life without you was living half as much_**

**_Always love me; never leave me_**

            Lily sat off to the side of Savannah with Kaitlynne and Allie as her only two bridesmaids and they were all three in tears of happiness.  Lily watched James and Sirius' two ushers, Remus and Peter, and even James' eyes were filling with tears.  Remus and Peter just stood there beaming, getting ready to pounce at Sirius in a few seconds.  Lily didn't realize it was possible to be so overjoyed for Savannah, but she definitely was…and in a way, Lily was jealous.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Okay, as Sirius' best man, and his best friend, I am so happy to be standing up here giving the toast they both deserve like no other.  Sirius has been my friend since I was two when he hit me over the head with a toy truck."  Laughter filled the reception hall and James grinned at Sirius.  "Since then, we were inseparable and I'm glad to be standing up here on his wedding day knowing I can always count on him.  Now, Savannah…what can I say?  Beautiful, talented, smart, fun to be around.  She's everything a person could want in a friend and it's obvious why Sirius is marrying her on this day.  Now I've only known Savannah for seventeen years, and not a day has gone by where I haven't thought about how lucky I am to have her as a friend."

            "Awwww," everyone cooed and Savannah blushed.

            "These two were meant to be with each other since the get-go.  They have been through so much together, through happiness and anger and sorrow and much pain, yet they have always found a way to get through it all.  I don't think anyone ever thought that this day would come, but I knew it was meant to be all along.  And I'm just glad they finally figured it out.   And here they are _finally happily married.  I don't know if it's possible for me to be any more delighted with them than I am now.  They deserve each other.  They were destined to be together.  They always have.  So I hope you will all raise your glasses with me and toast to the happy couple.  Because I know I will…for the rest of my life," James finished, looking over at Savannah and Sirius, who were teary-eyed.  _

            Sirius stood up and gave James a hug.  "Thanks, man."

            Savannah's hot tears were slowly drifting down her cheeks, as she walked over to James in her white wedding dress and gave him a huge hug.  "James, you're the best."

            "Okay, okay.  Now it's the maid-of-honor's turn," Lily said with a grin, clinking her glass.  "I haven't known Sirius for as long as James has, but it has felt like I have.  There's too much to say about him.  He's smart, funny, sarcastic, modest, goofy, smart, fun to be with, spontaneous, and the list goes on.  He has taught me so much in life and so much in the world that I feel as if I can't compete with him.  He's got it all.  And I had the privilege of living with him for three years, and it sure surprised me that this guy _could be mature!"  Everyone laughed.  "But every day to which I woke up in a depressed mood, he was always there to cheer me up.  Not one day out of those three years did I ever get a chance to be angry or upset at anything…or at __him and I owe it _all_ to him."_

            "Awwww," everyone cooed, as Sirius was the one to blush this time.

            "And then there's my best friend.  The woman who changed not just my life, but me as well.  She came into my life seventeen years ago and we clicked instantly.  She's not only a good friend, but she's also a good person.  She was always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to or just a shoulder to cry on.  I spent the best years of my life with the best _person_ and nothing can take that away."  Another chorus of 'awwwws' arose and Savannah, surprisingly didn't blush, but smiled.  "And now two of the most important people in my life are about to begin a long and hard journey of their own and there's no doubt in my mind that they will turn seventy and still be as happy as ever.  These two were meant to be together ever since they set eyes on each other.  They never realized it, but I knew it was their fate.  When people ask if I believe that there is only one person in the world for everyone, I never know what to answer.  But when it comes down to Savannah and Sirius…I know the answer to that question is yes," Lily finished.  "Good luck in the future and I hope you lead that perfect life you two are bound to have together."

            By now, Savannah was bawling and holding on to Sirius for support, and he was still teary-eyed.

            "Thank you, Lily," Savannah said with a sniffle, giving her best friend a long hug.

            Sirius stared at Lily for a few unbearable seconds with a hue smile planted on his face.  "Thanks you, Lils.  Thanks for everything," he whispered, before giving her a squeezing, loving hug.

            They pulled apart and Sirius turned towards Savannah.  "May I have the pleasure of this dance, Miss Turner?" 

            Savannah turned to him.  "Don't you mean…Mrs. Black?"

            Sirius beamed and knew that everything was perfect.  Nothing could stop them from being the happiest people in the world and Sirius liked knowing that.  "Yes…yes I do."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Okay, it's the maid-of-honor's turn to dance with the groom," Lily said, cutting in after their seventh dance together.

            Savannah and Sirius grinned.  "Fine, just don't steal him away from me," Savannah said with a wink.

            Sirius and Lily started dancing and Lily broke the silence.  "Sirius, I don't think I've _ever _seen you this happy."

            Sirius smiled for about the zillionth time that night.  "I don't think I've ever _been _this happy before.  Just look at her," Sirius said, nodding his head in Savannah's direction, whose head was thrown back as she laughed.  "She's gorgeous…and she's mine.  It's still all so unbelievable.  I mean, just last year I never thought I'd even _see _her again, and here I am…at our wedding.  It all seems so unreal."

            "Yeah, well start believing, because it's finally happening, and I don't think I've ever been this happy for you guys," Lily said with a smile.

            "Thanks, Lily," he said.

            "You know, ever since you started dating in your seventh year at Hogwarts, I always thought you two would end up together.  Even after your break-up I knew it was your destiny.  But when she got pregnant to Daniel and left for two and a half years, I wasn't so sure anymore.  But now…I'm just so glad that it's happening.  I'm just so glad that it's Savannah and Sirius…and not Savannah and someone else and _Sirius and someone else.  You two were always meant for each other…you just never knew it until now."_

            "I think you're right," Sirius simply said.  "I just wished we realized it sooner."

            "There's nothing you can do about it now.  Just be glad this day has finally come."

            "Oh, I'll _always be glad with her around."_

~~*~~*~~*~~ *~~*~~* ~~ *~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Finally, the reception ended, around one o'clock in the morning, and Sirius and Savannah ended up getting into a car which would take them to the airport which would take them to Hawaii for a week.  Lily offered to take Elizabeth for the week, and after much uneasiness, Savannah and Sirius finally agreed especially after Remus, Kaitlynne, James, Peter, and Allie agreed to stop by and help out whenever they could.

            Everyone had left to go home, except for Lily and Elizabeth, who were the last ones to leave the reception hall.

            "Lily?" a voice whispered to her from behind.

            Lily practically jumped a mile.  "James!!!" she gasped.  "You scared me half to death!"

            He grinned stupidly.  "Sorry."

            "What are you still doing here?  I thought you left."

            "I thought I did, too, until I realized I left my jacket.  Why are you still here?  It's after one in the morning!"

            "I was helping clean up this place and besides, Elizabeth was sound asleep and I didn't want to move her too much."

            James nodded.  They sat there in silence, both thinking the same thing.  About how awkward it was to be sitting there together on their Anniversary (or what felt like it because technically it was June 2nd)…of course, they didn't want to mention it.

            James finally said, "I still can't believe Savannah and Sirius are actually married."

            "I know.  It's great," Lily said with a heavy, uncontrollable sigh.

            "What's wrong?"

            That took Lily by surprise.  "Wh-what?  I didn't say anything."

            "Yes, but I've known you for seventeen years now and I know that sigh meant more than a happy sigh for Savannah and Sirius."

            Lily smiled at him and blushed…mostly because it was true.  She should've known he'd guess something was wrong.  He always sensed her emotions.  

            "Well. It's just…" Lily trailed off.

            "It's just what?"

            "Well…don't get me wrong, I am _so happy for Savannah and Sirius and I couldn't be happier, but at the same time…" Lily trailed off again._

            "Yeah?"

            "I'm a little jealous, I guess."

            That took James a little by surprise.  "How exactly?"

            Lily looked at James for a second with her head tilted.  "Well…okay, normally to anyone else I wouldn't tell this to just because it kind-of sounds stupid, but with you…it's different."

            "What is it?"

            "I just always thought that it would be you and me first," Lily spat out.  Once she started, she knew she wouldn't stop.  "_We'd _be the first ones married out the eight of us.  _We'd _be the first ones to have child.  And not just _me.  I mean both of us.  You and me.  Together.  Everything just seems so…different than I thought it would be…than I _wanted _it to be."_

            James stared at the ground, digesting her words in his own mind.  As amazing as this was…he's always felt the same, as well.

            Lily sighed.  "You probably think it's stupid of me to say it, but-"

            "No, I totally understand where you're coming from, Lily."

            "Y-you do?" she said in shock.

            "Yeah.  There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Lily."

            "Like what?"

            "First of all…I never stopped loving you even after these five long, _hard_ years."  Lily sucked in all of her breath, but James tried not to notice.  

            "But…if you never stopped loving me, then why didn't you ever do anything about it?"

            "Because I always thought you hated me."

            "I never hated you!"

            "I know…I was just paranoid…and dumb.  I did a stupid thing the night we broke-up, but I did an even stupider thing by not going after you in the five years afterward."

            "I think that was stupid on _both of our parts," Lily said.  "I…I was just angry and then I hated that it was so different between us," Lily said. "And I blamed it all on you…of course. I mean, if you hadn't gotten angry and jealous we would still be together and for awhile all I could think about was the fact that it all changed because of one stupid fight."_

            "Lily, it _was my fault and I knew it. I was angry with myself. But then I became angry because you weren't trying to be friends…but now I realize why."_

            "Because it hurt that you didn't trust me."

            "The thing is…I trusted you with everything and anything."

            "I also knew that…and it confused me and I never bothered to ask you about it or even try to talk about it."

            "Well I didn't try either."

            "I know…" Lily said turning to face him. 

            "Life's strange.  That's all I have to say." 

            "James, what else is there that I don't know about you?" Lily asked, truly interested in what he had to say.

            "Well, I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but I am.  I feel like you need to know this…or maybe I just need to tell you."

            "Yeah?"

            "On our Anniversary five years ago, I was going to ask you to marry me."  

            Lily gasped.  "You…you _what?"_

            "It's true.  But then my feelings became so mixed up when you said you were moving and…and I was afraid you'd say no.  So I didn't."

            "I wouldn't have said no," Lily said without thinking, realizing that maybe it wasn't the right thing to say.

            James sighed.  "I was afraid you'd say that."

            "You want to know something about _me that you don't know?" Lily questioned._

            "Uh…okay."

            "Well, on Christmas, I showed up at your house, right?"

            He nodded.  "Yeah…"

            "I was going to tell you that I still loved you," she said barely audible.

            James froze.  He was afraid she was going to say that.  "But…but why didn't you?"

            "Because…" Lily croaked.  "Because Avril was there."

            He groaned.  "Oh…yeah…her.  She and I got serious for a while, but I knew I couldn't let it go on.  I will still in love with you and I wasn't being fair to you."

            Lily secretly smiled.  "I have something else to confess."

            James turned to her and nodded hesitantly.  "Okay…"

            "I think I just lost five years that could've been better but because you weren't a part of me, they just…diminished, I guess.  They became pointless and purposeless."

            James sighed again.  "I did a stupid thing, Lily.  I wish I could take it back, but I can't.  I just got…jealous, I guess.  I hated the fact that it seemed as if you didn't even miss me."

            Lily laughed.  "James, I don't know if it was possible to miss you any more that I did.  I…I just needed a break that night, I guess.  I mean, I thought I had lost you and I had grieved in my room for a whole day and did nothing but look at old pictures, think about old memories, think about _you_.  I just needed to get you out of my mind for a second before _I_ actually became a waterfall.  I couldn't think of you dead somewhere, so I tried not to."

            "You thought I was dead?"

            "Kinda…somewhat…sorta...not really.  Ack, I'm not sure.  I mean when Sirius told me that so many of the Aurors had, most of them which were beginners, I couldn't help but feel that awful ache I had at the bottom of my stomach.  I couldn't help but realize that maybe you were one of them."

            "Lily, there's one other thing you don't know about me…"

            "Yeah?"

            "Um…well, to start off, I know we both feel as if we just lost five years that could have been more meaningful, but instead we hid from our true feelings."

            "I know, James.  I'm so sorry," Lily said.

            "Lily…what would you do if I kissed you now?" he asked unexpectedly.

            She breather heavily and looked up at him.  "Kiss you back…" she said, leaning up towards him and letting her lips fall on to his.  They shared their passionate kiss, which they both had missed over the years.  But all that mattered was that they were reunited once again.  That kiss symbolized more than just honesty and trust and faithfulness between them…it meant more.  It symbolized their undying love that they both never forgot but just put off for a long period of time where they were both in denial.

            They pulled apart and looked up into each other's eyes.  "I've missed you…" James said.  

            They hadn't left each other over the years, but Lily knew exactly what he meant.  "I've missed you, too, James."

            "I don't want to lose you again…" he started.

            Lily looked up at him with confusion shining in her eyes.  "Huh?  You won't lose me.  I won't let you…"

            "I know…but…"

            "What is it, James?" Lily asked, trying to understand.

            "I…I just love you so much," he struggled to get out.

            Lily looked up at him tearfully and embraced him tightly, not wanting to let him go.  Nothing could have made that day better…_nothing._

            "I love you, too, James Potter.  And don't ever forget it."

            "I've forgotten it once," he whispered into her ear.  "I'm not about to let it happen again."

            If you had asked Lily what she had wanted in life before that night, she probably never would have known.  She probably would have pondered over the question for more than a necessary amount of time and eventually given you a bunch of meaningless predictions of her future, but nothing would have been substantiate.  Nothing would have even been something that she's wanted for a long time.  It _was_ a good question for her to think about, and before that night she wouldn't have even been able to make something up off the top of her head.  

            But it's different now.  Things have changed for her _and for James.  And if you had asked her what she wanted the following day or month or even _year_, her answer would have been the same._

            She wanted James…it's all she's _ever wanted. _

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Good morning, Lily," James said groggily answering the door three days later as he stifled a yawn. 

            "Tired?" Lily teased, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, before following him inside.

            "Of course I am.  It's before noon."

            They both laughed.

            "Hey, _you were the one who asked me if I wanted to see pictures from the wedding."_

            "Yes, but I didn't mean at ten o'clock in the morning on a Tuesday morning."

            "Oh, please," Lily said, rolling her eyes.  "I've had to get up at six o'clock in the morning plenty of times to go to work in California."

            James gasped fakely.  "There's a _six o'clock__ in the morning??" he teased._

            Lily rolled her eyes, but nonetheless laughed at his measly attempt for a joke.  

            "Besides, I have work in less than two hours, and unless you wanted to wait until Friday to show me the pictures, this was the only time that I could come and see you."

            James smiled at her.  "You're so adorable."

            "How did we get from my work schedule to me being so adorable?"

            "Do you not _want me to say you're adorable?"_

            "Well, maybe if you add cute in their somewhere, I could appreciate it even more."

            James laughed, and kissed her briefly.  "Coffee?" he offered pointing to the coffeemaker brewing the coffee. 

            "No, _cute, James.  I said _cute_," Lily teased._

            "Okay, then would you like some coffee, my _cute, adorable, sweet _Lily?"

            "Oooh, I like the 'sweet' you added in.  It gives it a touch of…well…er…um…-"

            "Sweetness?"

            Lily laughed, and hit him playfully on the arm.  "How about just the coffee, then?" 

            "With some _sweet sugar?" he joked, passing her a coffee mug._

            "Is it full of _sweetness?"_

            He laughed and handed her a donut with the coffee.  

            "Oh, how romantic," Lily said with a chuckle.  "A _donut."_

            "I figured that unless you were willing to die of _food _poisoning, that a store-bought donut was the best way to go."

            They both laughed.  "Well, good choice, considering I like being alive."

            "Almost as much as _I like you being alive," James interjected, and they both laughed long and hard as he leaned down to give her a gentle kiss on her sugary lips._

            "Come on, Lily," James said a few minutes later after taking a bite out of his donut and a few sips from his coffee with back-and-forth chatter with Lily.  He loved being with Lily, now.  Instead of just _James _and no one, and _Lily _and no one…it was _James and Lily.  It just fit.  It was always supposed to be that way.  And he couldn't have been more happier than if his dad were still alive or something.  Lily was always there for him, and he wasn't about to forget her __ever again.  He's always loved Lily.  But now…now he realized that she loved him equally.  And that's all he's ever wanted in the first place. _

            "The pictures are up in my bedroom," James continued.

            Lily followed James up to his room slowly and cautiously before entering the darkened room.  "Wow, it's changed since the last time I've been up here."

            James snuck a peek at her and smiled secretly.  "Yeah, well it's been a while since I've brought you up here," he snickered, walking into his walk-in closet to find the two packages of pictures from Sirius' and Savannah's wedding.

            Lily laughed loudly and sauntered over to his bureau drawers where he had a bunch of picture frames standing on top of the drawers.  "Oh, wow," she thought out loud.

            "What?"

            Lily jumped a little, forgetting that he was still in the room.  "Oh, nothing.  Just these pictures.  You've a got quite a lot from Hogwarts.  It's…it's just fascinating that you have them still."

            James didn't say anything for a few seconds, and Lily figured he was just smiling or remembering back to the Hogwarts days.  "Yeah, well they were some of the best times of my life.  And I don't just throw them out."

            Lily smiled as she picked up a picture frame with the whole gang in Three Broomsticks one cold, snowy, _late New Years back in their seventh year.  She remembered walking in at ten o'clock p.m. sharp with her seven friends and playing pool, singing Karaoke, dancing, eating, drinking…doing everything to make the last day of the year the best one ever.  The clock struck midnight, and they struck complete happiness.  A round of fun, meaningless kisses and hugs went around for everyone and no one was forgotten._

            The eight of them never went to bed that night.  They stayed up _all night having as much fun as possible.  When they got back to the Gryffindor commons room three and a half hours after midnight, they stayed up for another four hours just _talking_.  About __everything.  They relived the past year through the seven friends' minds, hearts, and souls.  All of the smiling.  All of the laughing.  All of the crying. The yelling.  The fights.  The fun.  The all-nighters.  The rule-breaking.  The kisses.  The hugs.  The parties.  The Quidditch.  The schoolwork.  The studying.  The strenuous tests.  The vacations.  The breaks.  The feuds.  The arguments.  The pranks.  The break-ups.  The relationships.  The games.  The insults.  The complements.  The loneliness.  The isolation.  The solitude. The anger.  The frustration.  The happiness.  The surprises.  The childlessness.  The immaturity.  The fantasies.  The dreams.  The gifts.  The love.  _

            The _memories.  That's what life was all about._

            Lily noticed a small, black, velvet box on the bureau as well and couldn't help but be a little curious_.  Why would James have a velvet jewelry box just lying on his bureau strewn about? Lily thought suspiciously._

            She glanced towards the closet where James was and without another thought against it, she picked it up much to her conscience's nagging no's.  She opened it up tediously and prudently and gaped at what was found inside.  

            James happened to enter the bedroom from his closet with the two rolls of pictures in his hands.  "Here they are, Li-" he said, stopping short when he saw what she was looking at.

            "Er…nice ring," Lily said with a bewildered, yet annoyed, look on her face, trying not to sound angry or depressed at the moment.  But why shouldn't she?  She was standing there with a box and an engagement ring in her hands that obviously belonged to James.  How did he get it and _why did he have it, she was afraid to know, but that didn't stop her from assessing the situation.  The only answer she had was Avril, but she pushed that thought in the back of her mind immediately.  She figured that he was probably thinking of giving it to Avril when they were dating._

            He stared at her with a torn look on his face, not sure who to deal with it.  He knew that she must be thinking that he had received it from someone, especially with her aggravated, confused, and noticeably hurt look on her face, but when he tried to say _anything _to make her think otherwise, no good explanation came out of his mouth except the unexpected words that drabbled off his tongue.   

            "It's yours," James said clearly and firmly, gripping the pictures a little too tightly, making his knuckles as white as a ghost.

            "_What_?" Lily said confused and impatient.  She didn't exactly want to hear his excuse about the ring, but he was obviously mixed up and deranged to think that she could believe that the had given him the ring and not remembered…_unless…………_

James walked towards her forcefully and gently lifted the ring out of her cold, untouchable hands.  "Lily, five years ago I bought you this ring…and I never let it go," he explained.  Lily dropped her jaw in amazement, but before she couldn't say anything, James quickly continued on with his explanation. "I loved you more than anything back then, and I wanted to marry you.  I knew what I wanted…I knew _who I wanted.  But after the attacks caused by Voldemort, I…I became scared.  Afraid.  Alone in the sense that I wasn't surrounded by _you_…or my friends.  But it was __you who I ran from and hid my true feelings from.  Voldemort reminded me of how much I had yet to learn about life.  About…well, _love_.  Nothing comes easy and while on the job hunting him down, I had a lot of time to think.  Mostly about you.  In fact, you were all I could think about.  And I started wondering about __us.  And I couldn't help but question our relationship.  When I arrived home, you were the only person I wanted to see.  I just needed to know that you cared as much as I did.  But, I couldn't handle it…_us_, I mean.  I snapped.  I blew up.  I was questioning too much and overanalyzing the whole situation.  But after losing you that year, my questions faded and my confusion faded.  I began to realize that I was being stupid. Voldemort should not have the satisfaction of knowing that he was the one who brought me to think we deserved to be separated.  And…and when I saw you at the reunion I knew that you were still the one…the one I _always _loved…and always _will_ love.  It just took me too long to realize it, and I'm sorry, Lily…I'm _so _sorry," James grieved, practically begging Lily to forgive him for nothing that he really did.  He looked into her sweet, innocent, confused eyes and saw shock…amazement.  But the last thing he saw surprised him the most.  It was love and understanding.  _

            Lily looked up at his melancholy face of despair and mixed emotions.  He meant what he had said.  She knew it.  He was being truly sincere about everything, and all she's ever done was ridicule him for it.  "James, there's nothing to be sorry for.  I'm as good as guilty as you and Voldemort are because I didn't do anything about it.  _I _was being pathetically stupid.  You claim you ran from your feelings; I ran from _you_.  I was afraid of us and what we were becoming, as well."

            "I think the whole world was," James said with a chuckle.

            "So, we both understand each other now, right?" Lily said with a smile, still holding the ring forgetting she was holding the box that resembled their love and cherishing.  

            James chuckled and nodded.  "Yes.  All of our secrets are out in the open."

            "And I hope that is the way they will remain."

            "Trust me; I'm never hiding _anything from you and I sure as hell ain't running from it, either."_

            Lily threw back her head and roared loudly.  "So, are we good, then?"

            James paused and looked at the ring she was holding and knew what the answer to that question was immediately.  "I'm not so sure," he replied hesitantly.

            Lily wasn't expecting that.

            She looked up into his deep, dark, contemplative eyes that were holding an air of mystique and suspicion.  "Er…what?" she asked in confusion.

            "I'm not so sure," he replied, more firmly this time.  "Because I still don't have _you_."

            "What?  Yes, you do, James," Lily replied.  "You'll always have me."

            "Will I?"

            Lily stared at him incredulously with a look of astonishment and fury on her face.  "James, what are you trying to say?"

            "I-I'm not sure exactly."

            "You're not going to lose me again, James," Lily said gently, touching his arm lightly.  "I love you too much." 

            He paused and looked at her concerned face.  "I love you, too."

            "Then what's the problem?"

            "What happens if one of us starts thinking about the future again?  Or about _love_?  Or about the idea of us and a relationship that may not be going anywhere??"

            "We both agreed that we love each other and _I _don't plan on breaking that agreement anytime soon.  Beside, we both said that running from our true feelings wasn't doing us any good, so we-"

            "But that's exactly it."

            "_What_??" Lily cried in frustration and disbelief.  _Is he _actually _going against his words only less than a minute later!?!?  What is he afraid of now__???_

            "It's _not doing us any good," he repeated.  "Which is exactly why I'm asking you to marry me."_

**A/N: **Please don't kill me!  This cliffhanger was fun to write, I have to admit.  But I wonder what Lily is going to say?  Will she agree or will she wonder if it's the right decision?  Tune in next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	25. Another Wedding?

**A/N: **Okay, okay—you all have to be happy because I updated VERY fast (faster than _I even unexpected).  Lily's answer to come…………………_

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill—anything you don't recognize is mine, but everything else belongs to the famous J.K. Rowling (who better keep on writing her books!). 

MEMORIES

CHAPTER 26: Another Wedding…? ****

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            James stared at the ring in amazement.  He always knew the ring would be Lily's…Lily just didn't know that.

            Lily stood there in a state of shock, not realizing she stopped breathing until she was gasping back breaths into her body.  She brought her hands to her open mouth and tears started running down her face.  "Omigod.  I don't know what to say."

            "Say yes," James urged, still holding the ring out.

            "How are you so sure of yourself? How do you know this is right?" Lily whispered, stalling for time.

            "Because it's you and me…together…_forever," James said gently looking into her eyes._

            "Then…yes," Lily said inaudibly.

            "What?" James asked.

            "Yes…of course," Lily said.  "Yes," she repeated barely audible.

            James smiled down at her.  "I love you, Lily," he said, giving her a huge passionate kiss symbolizing not only their future, but everything they've ever been through together.

            Lily pulled apart and looked intensely into his eyes.  "And I love you."

            He took the ring out of the box Lily was holding and slid it on her finger, and gave her another kiss.

            "You were right…" Lily murmured.

            "About what?"

            "You and me together," Lily said, glancing at the ring on her finger.  "…Forever."

            She looked deeply into his dark, gleaming eyes full of happiness and exhilaration.  "Everything is _perfect now." _

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "How was Elizabeth?" Savannah asked Lily six days later.  It was Monday night and Savannah and Sirius had returned from their honeymoon earlier that evening

            "Oh, she was absolutely _perfect.  She's the most adorable baby I've ever seen in my whole life," Lily cooed.  "I need to get myself one of these babies."_

            Savannah, Sirius, and Lily all laughed.  "You know, if you need any help…" Sirius said slyly.

            "Sirius!!" Savannah cried with a laugh.

            "Marriage problems already?" Lily said with a grin.

            "Oh, I'll _give him a problem," Savannah teased._

            "It's nice to know you still love me, honey," Sirius said laughing.

            "It's not fair that you have a daughter, Allie has a daughter, and she's going to have _another child soon and I don't have any.  How come she gets two?" Lily whined playfully._

            "Speaking of children, where _is my little Lizzy?" Savannah asked._

            "You just had to throw that in my face, didn't ya," Lily joked.  "She's in the back with Jenna and James," Lily explained, walking through her house out into the back. 

            "James?" Savannah questioned.

            "Yeah, he came over to help baby-sit them both with me since Josh and Allie had a doctor appointment—oh FYI, the due date is July 6 for their baby if you didn't know—anyway, the last time they brought Jenna to the doctor's office, she messed up the buttons on the ultra-sound.  So they brought her over here and were grateful that James was already here," Lily explained.

            "And why was James here?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

            "Because he's my friend," Lily said with a smirk.

            "Hmm…" Sirius said, stroking his chin.

            "No, we didn't have sex, Sirius, we-"

            "Who had sex?" James asked, walking inside with Jenna in one arm and Elizabeth holding on to his hand, walking beside him. 

            "Do you really want to know the answer to that question?" Lily asked, and they all laughed.

            "Nevermind. Don't wanna know what happened on the honeymoon," James said and they laughed again.

            "Oh you already know…it's no surprise," Lily said.

            "Actually we were talkin-" Sirius started with an evil grin.

            "I dare you _not to finish that sentence," Lily said.  _

            "Elizabeth!" Savannah cried, running over to her daughter, who rushed into her arms.

            "Mommy!" Elizabeth cried.

            "Awww," Sirius said, and they all laughed. 

            "I have something to tell you guys," James started, after winking at Lily.

            "Oh no.  You joined the military, didn't you," Sirius teased.  "Now what have I told you about doing that, James!?"

            "But I get to hang out with the women on the shipping deck!" James whined.

            "Oh…then have fun!"

            They all laughed.  "Actually…it's a little more important, and better, than that," James said.

            "You're Head Auror?!" Savannah guessed.

            "Note to self," James mumbled to himself.  "Finish your train of thought before Sirius or Savannah start to talk."

            They all laughed and Lily chimed in behind James.  "Well,-"   

            "Wait, _you know about this?" Sirius cried._

            "Uh…you could say that," Lily said, trying not to laugh.

            "But why-"

            "Okay, will you let me finish!" James cried with a grin.

            "No," Sirius said, but he shut up anyway.

            "After you guys left the reception for your honeymoon, Lily-"

            "Lily's a part of this?" Savannah questioned.

            "Maybe you'd _know that if you'd let me finish what I'm telling you!" James cried, and they all laughed. _

            "_Anyway_," Lily said.

            "Yes, anyway, Lily was alone in the hall with Elizabeth, and I came back realizing I had forgotten my jacket.  Lily and I got to talking…and one thing led to another…" James trailed off.

            "And…"

            "Well…" Lily said, blushing.  "We got back together."

            "_What??" _they both cried in unison.

            Lily and James nodded sheepishly and James put his arm around her shoulders.  "For _real _this time…it's the real thing…"

            Sirius and Savannah stared at them, and then exchanged looks.  "Wait, so you two are now going out?" Sirius asked unbelievably.

            "_Together_?" Savannah questioned. 

            "Dating?"

            "Boyfriend-girlfriend?" 

            "Kissing, holding hands, cuddling?" Sirius asked.  "Oh, I'm forgetting something—_sex_?"

            They all laughed at his last comment and James and Lily nodded with huge grins slapped across their faces.  "Yeah," Lily answered.  "And-"

            "_It _took_ you long enough!!!_" Savannah cried, and she and Sirius burst into laughter.

            James turned to look at Lily in confusion.  "Are you as confused as I am?"

            "Oh, yeah," Lily mumbled.

            "What's there to be confusing?" Sirius asked.  "It's been _six years."_

            "We've all been waiting to get your act together," Savannah continued explaining.

            "We knew that you two would end up getting back together at some point in life, but did you _really have to wait this long???"_

            "We all thought that you two would have realized it at least at the point when Sirius and I told everyone that we were getting married."

            "Everyone, including Savannah and I, thought that you two would be the first to get married," Sirius explained with a snicker.  "Even when we were in Hogwarts, we thought _you two would get married at a young age."_

            "In fact, we had to pay old debts because of you."

            "You _bet on us getting married??" Lily asked._

            "Yep," Savannah said proudly.

            "Well, then this isn't going to come as a surprise," James muttered, and he and Lily both laughed.

            "What isn't?" Sirius asked curiously.  

             She held up her left hand with the diamond ring on it.  "We're engaged," she said sheepishly.

            "YOUR'E **_WHAT!?!?!?_" Savannah and Sirius cried in unison.**

            "You have _got to be kidding!" Savannah said with all seriousness._

            "Yep, you've caught us.  I'm lying.  We didn't get back together and we're not getting married and I don't have a ring on my finger and I don't love this man," Lily teased.  "In fact, this is just a big stuffed doll who professed his love for me.  I've finally realized that a doll is what I've needed all of my life."

            "Ha ha ha," Savannah said laughing.

            "Okay, don't you think it's a little crazy by asking Lily to marry you even though you haven't dated in five years, James?" Sirius questioned.

            "Are you telling me this from previous experience?" James said, with an eyebrow raised, pointing to Savannah and they all laughed.

            "Oh…right.  Well, just because I'm your idol does not mean you should be following in my footsteps!" Sirius teased.

            "Oh, trust me, it was anything but," Lily joked.

            "Hmph, some friends I have," Sirius muttered.

            "Besides, weren't you two _just saying that it took us along enough to realize we were meant to be together?" Lily pointed out._

            "No one said anything about meant-to-be," Savannah joked with a hearty laugh.

            "Yeah, well no one said anything about you being my maid of honor, either, and no one _will if-"_

            "You two are completely _meant-to-be!!!" Savannah squealed, and they all laughed._

            "This is absolutely the way we thought it was going to turn out!!!" Sirius cried, giving them both a hug.  "Congratulations!!"

            "Okay, when's the wedding?" Savannah demanded to know.

            "We've talked about it for a while this week, and we think it's probably going to be in either late October or early November," Lily explained.  "And now that you have mentioned us being meant-to-be, I hope that you, Savannah, will agree to be my maid of honor?"

            "Oh, yes, yes, yes!!!" she shrieked.  "I was waiting for this day to come!"

            "It's second in line compared to _our wedding, though, of course," Sirius scolded._

            Savannah glanced at Sirius up and down and then turned back to Lily.  "Hmm…it's a hard decision."

            "HEY!!"

            They all laughed. 

            "And I was hoping that Elizabeth would be the flower girl," Lily said.  "Besides, everyone would absolutely swoon over her."

            Savannah grinned.  "That would be so excellent!"

            "A-_HEM!" Sirius cried looking at James._

            "Oh, right, right," James said.  "You'll be the ring-bearer for me, right?"

            Sirius threw a pillow at him.

            "Oops, I mean flower girl," James teased.

            Sirius threw another pillow at him. 

            "Okay, okay.  Fine, you can be the best man."

            Sirius threw another pillow at him teasingly_._

            "HEY!!!  What else do you wanna be?  The _minister_??"

            "Ooooh, could I!?!?"

            "Okay, definitely shouldn't have mentioned that," Lily pointed out and they all laughed.

            "I can see it now," Savannah said and then started mocking Sirius. "James…do you take this stupid, pitiful, you-could-have-done-better girl standing in front of you? And Lily, do you take this horrible, annoying, never-shuts-up, nagging guy standing in front of you? If you do, say _I don't_." They all laughed at Savannah's prediction.  

            "No!!" Sirius protested.  "You forgot the part where I added in somehow that their best friend is an awesome, good-looking guy that will forever be the King of the World!!!" 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "I never thought this day would come," Sirius finished off his speech five months later, on November 2.  "But it finally has.  And I couldn't be happier.  Here they are.  James and Lily.  Husband and wife.  And happier than ever."

            Everyone clapped and cheered as Lily went up to Sirius and gave him a forceful hug.  "Thank you."

            "Agh, it might be better if I didn't die tonight," he stuttered.

            Lily laughed and let go of him.  "Does the bride get to dance with the best man?"

            "Not if you hold me like that," he teased, but he stood up and they walked out on to the dance floor near James and Savannah, who were dancing at the time.

            "Do you realize that out of the eight Marauders and Honorary Marauders that _seven _of them are now happily married?" Sirius mentioned.

            "Yeah and six of them are married to each other," Lily pointed out.

            "After graduation, I was so scared that we'd go our separate ways and forget about each other.  I never imagined marrying one of my best friends.  I never imagined any of my friends getting married _to each other_ and I especially didn't imagine still being friends with you or James or Savannah or Remus or Kaitlynne or Allie or Peter.  When Kaitlynne disappeared, I thought it was the end.  When Allie disappeared, I thought it was the end.  And then _Savannah__ left and I knew we were over.  But standing up here dancing with you on your wedding day, I've finally realized we are all complete.  And that's the way it will always be."_

            Lily was afraid she was going to cry.  "Awww.  Now, why didn't you say _that in your speech instead of talking about how living with me may have made you permanently insane?"  _

            They both laughed and Sirius said, "Actually, I was planning on it.  But it's more…emotional and private and not for everyone to hear.  It's just for the eight of us.  It's about _us.  Not them."_

            "Thank you, Sirius," she whispered.

            "For what?"

            Lily hesitated.  "_Everything_."

            "Okay, my turn again," James cut in, after the song finished.

            "What??  The husband dance with the wife!?" Sirius said sarcastically in horror, and all three of them laughed, as he walked off to find Savannah.

            "You look gorgeous tonight, sweetheart," James muttered, kissing her on the forehead.

            "Why, thank you, my dear husband," Lily said with a smile.  James grinned down at her and kissed her on the lips.

            "I love you," he whispered.

            Lily looked up at him and probably could've cried again, for the thousandth time that night.  I mean, here she was, _finally marrying the man who she's always loved.  The man who she was destined to end up with.  The one man who was just meant to be hers from the very beginning._

            Lily smiled and took a deep breath in and out.  "I love you too," she whispered full of emotion.

**_A moment like this _**

**_Some people wait a lifetime_**

**_For a moment like this_**

**_Some people search forever_**

**_For that one special kiss_**

**_I can't believe it's happening to me_**

**_Some people wait a lifetime…_**

**_For a moment like this._**

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            A month later, it was Christmas Day and they were all gathered at Sirius and Savannah's place in Alphamstone for a nice Christmas dinner.  Everyone meaning Lily, James, Savannah, Sirius, Elizabeth Kaitlynne, Remus, Peter, Allie, Josh, Jenna, and _Cole_, which was Allie and Josh's five-month-old baby who was born on July 4. 

            "I have to say, it's been a very…eventful year," Peter said at the table.

            "Yeah, two weddings is two too many," Remus teased.

            "Yeah, you want to get married, also, Peter?" James joked.  "You've still got six more days to fit it in this year!"

            They all laughed.  "Actually, I _am dating a supermodel."_

            "_WHAT_!?!?" they all cried in unison.

            "How'd he get a supermodel and I'm stuck with _Savannah_?" Sirius whimpered jokingly.

            Savannah threw a piece of bread at him. 

            Peter laughed.  "I'm just kidding.  But the look on your faces was priceless," he said, and they all laughed as Sirius threw a piece of turkey at him, which make them laugh harder.

            "Even with_out Peter dating a supermodel, it's still been exciting.  That's all I've got to say," Allie said with three-year-old Jenna on her lap._

            "I've got a lot more to say than that, but maybe I won't say it," Sirius joked, and they all laughed.

            "Yeah, well I have one thing to say," Savannah said, looking at Sirius.  "Do you know what today is?  It's the day you asked me to marry you."

            "Is that important?" Sirius joked.  

            "Sirius Devon Black, I swear if you forgot I'm disowning you," Savannah teased with a wink.

            "Now, how could I forget _you, Sav—oooh, look a piece of lint," Sirius said pointing to her jacket._

            Savannah hit him.

            "You two make me sick," Lily said.

            "Look who's talking!" Kaitlynne cried, and they all laughed.

            "Okay, well Sirius and I have some news that I've been dying to say _all _night."

            "Yawn.  Maybe another time," Lily teased.

            Savannah threw a piece of bread at her.

            "Actually, we have two things," Sirius reminded.  "First of all, I finally have fully adopted Elizabeth as my own daughter."

            "Oh, that's wonderful!!" Allie cried.

            "Congratulations!" Josh cried.

            "What else do you have to tell us?" Kaitlynne asked.  "And make it quick because Remus and I have something to say, also."

            "Well…" Savannah started, already beaming with pride and looking over at Sirius proudly.  "I'm…uh…well, I'm pregnant."

            "**_Are you kidding me_!?!?!?!?" Lily and Kaitlynne cried at once with much enthusiasm.**

            Savannah, and everyone else at the table, jumped.  "Whoa, calm yourself."

            "Did I miss something?" James asked, thoroughly confused.

            "No, it's just that…well, my news is going to seem somewhat boring now," Kaitlynne said with a laugh.

            "Oh, really?  You mind telling us what it is then?" Lily teased.  

            "Well, uh…I'm pregnant also."

            "_What!?_" everyone cried happily.

            Lily couldn't help but burst into hysterics, and she found that she couldn't stop and eventually found it hard to breathe, as the tears started running down her face and as she clutched her sides.  

            "The next thing I know, she'll be telling us that she's pregnant, also," Sirius muttered with a grin.

            Lily looked up at him and laughed even harder.  "It's funny you should mention that…because I am."

            They all looked at her with dumbfounded expressions, and ended up laughing until they felt like they were going to die from laughing too hard. James mouth dropped open wide.

            "_WHAT?!" _James exclaimed. Everyone looked from Lily to James.

            "Okay Lily, James _is the father right?" Sirius joked. _

            James turned towards Lily with raised eyebrows, questioning her news. "How come I didn't know about this?" James demanded to know.

            "I found out this morning and we've been so busy that it kind-of slipped my mind.  And I wasn't going to say anything tonight.  I was going to tell you first, but when Kaitlynne and Savannah said they were pregnant, I felt like I _needed to say it.  So I did."_

            "I understand," James said, kissing her on the cheek.  "I'm just so happy for you!"

            "Be happy for yourself, also," Lily said, kissing him on the lips.

            "Wow…it all seems so unreal.  I mean, in nine months, I'm going to be a father," James cried.

            "And all this time, I thought you'd be a grandmother," Sirius said sarcastically, and everyone laughed.  "Who would've thought."

            "Actually, James, it's about _eight months," Lily pointed out.  "I'm about seven weeks."_

            "Wait, wait, wait," Sirius said a few seconds later.  "Seven weeks?  That would be the first week in November?" Sirius said mysteriously.

            James and Lily blushed.

            "That was the time of your honeymoon wasn't it…" Remus said slyly.

            "Maybe," Lily said secretly, trying not to laugh.

            "Tsk, tsk, tsk.  You two should be setting an example!" Savannah cried at them and they all laughed.

            "To _who!?  Almost all of you have _had_ your honeymoons!" Lily cried and they all laughed._

            "Well, what about you, Savannah?  How far along are you?" James asked, changing the subject. __

            "I'm a little under two months," Savannah said.  "Nothing mischievous there." 

            "Nothing mischievous?" James said with an eyebrow raised.  "When it comes to you and Sirius, _everything's _mischievous."

            They all laughed.

            "How far along are you, Kayti?" Sirius asked.

            "Five weeks."

            "Now, please don't tell me, Allie's pregnant, _too_," Sirius groaned and Allie shook her head.

            "Hey, I'm twenty-eight and I already have two children, one who was born only five months ago.  Let's not even think about having another," she replied, and they all laughed.

            "Good, because I do not need _four pregnant women running around England, much less __three women," Sirius responded, and they all laughed._

            "It's good to know you care," Savannah said rolling her eye.

            "I never said that."

            "I know," Savannah said with a wink. 

            Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Peter practically jumped out of the chair in complete shock.

            "What, never heard a knock on the door?" Remus teased him.

            "Wh-What?  Oh…it ju-just seems odd th-that someone would b-be knocking on th-the door on Christmas," Peter stuttered.

            Savannah stood up, since she was closer to the door, walked out of the dining room, through the sitting room, and to the front door.  She opened it to reveal a strange man at the door.

            "Um…may I help you?" Savannah asked, bewildered.

            "Maybe.  I was wondering if a Sirius Black was staying here at this moment?"

            "Uh, yes he is.  May I ask who you are?"

            "Um, I'm just…er…an old friend of his…uh…my name's Silas," he replied secretly.

            Savannah looked at him strangely, wondering why he didn't reveal his last name.  "Um…okay, come in."

            She led him into the dining room where everyone was laughing at something Sirius said.

            When the man walked into the room, they all turned towards him and Sirius immediately stopped laughing and stared at the man incredulously.  

            "Why, hello Sirius," the man said.  He turned to the group.  "Hi, everyone."

            Sirius stood up and practically fell over his chair.  "Hi…Dad," he said coldly, sending him a deathly look.

**A/N: **GASP!!  This is the father who he hasn't seen since….well, you won't know until next chapter!!!!  I wonder what's gonna happen?  And why is Peter so edgy?  Hm……news to come!

Oh, the song is "Moment Like This" by Kelly Clarkson (oh, an btw, CLAY AIKEN IS SOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN RUBEN STUDDARD—but that's besides the point….I just wanted to point that out…) 


	26. Family Feud

**A/N: **Yay, yay!  ByeByeBirdie's back and she's updating faster and faster!!  I've got a long weekend for the next two weeks, so I'll be able to update faster!  Yay!  But I'm only updating if you all review!  **IN FACT, IF YOU REVIEW ON THIS CHAPTER, I'LL PUT YOUR NAMES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER AND THANK YOU ALL ONE-BYE-ONE!!  **So, pleez review!!  Anyhow, this chapter we find out a whole lot more about Sirius' family background so keep reading!!

**Disclaimer: **See previous chapters.

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER 27: Family Feud ****

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            James gasped as everyone else stared at Sirius in confusion.   

            "What are you doing here?" Sirius sneered at his long-lost father.

            "I came to talk to you."

            "After sixteen years of ignoring me?" Sirius asked angrily.

            "I'm sorry, but I-"

            "I don't want your apologies, and I sure as _hell_ don't want your excuses.  In fact, I don't want _anything from you.  So if you could kindly leave this house now, it would be greatly appreciated."_

            "Sirius, I-"

            "You have no right speaking my name, _Dad_.  You have _no _right coming into my life after I was finally letting go of the fact that you abandoned Mom and me…and especially after…_you know what_.  You have _no _right even coming to _see _me after what you did!!"

            "I talked to Shannon," Sirius' father said quietly.

            Sirius stopped talking.  

            "I told her about your mother's inheritance money and the share I put in."

            Sirius still didn't say anything.

            "You know about the money, right?"

            Sirius still didn't say anything.

            "It will be yours soon."

            "I don't want it," Sirius spat.

            "I figured you'd say it, but it's still yours to split with Shannon."

            "I don't _want it," Sirius repeated with more hostility._

            "Half of eighteen million galleons is a lot to give up."

            "I don't care. I don't want anything you _ever _give me."

            "By your thirtieth birthday, half of it is yours forever Sirius.  Just think about it."

            "I already said I didn't want it.  Not when my mother was forced to give it up by you."

            "She wasn't forced to give anything up."

            "She was forced to die.  _Whose fault was that_?" Sirius cried venomously.

            "_That wasn't my fault."_

            "Yes it was and we both know it."

            "No, You-Know-Who did what he did and I-"

            "You were the death-eater by his side the whole time," Sirius cried in disgust as he narrowed his eye, and he could hear the gasps of his friends from behind him.  "You were there cheering that damn man on.  Just waiting for the moment until the woman who you thought ruined your life would die.  Watching her last seconds on earth until death due her part.  And you didn't do a damn thing about it.  You loved every second of it, didn't you?  You _loved _watching her being tortured!"

            "Sirius, you can't blame that on me," his father yelled back.

_            "How could I not blame that on you!?!?_  _MY MOTHER DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!!_"

            "SIRIUS DEVON BLACK!  You listen to me now and-"

            "No, why should I?  I'm standing in the same room as a man who had a chance to save a woman's life…let alone his _wife's life and instead, he did the exact opposite of what he __should have known__ was right and let it all happen before his very own eyes.  You're as good a killer as You-Know-Who was."_

            "I still loved your mother and-"

            "You certainly had a good way of showing it."

            "I turned back to the good side because of her.  I'm _not a death-eater.  Nor will I ever become one...again."_

            "Yeah dad—_again is the key word.   You already __were a death-eater and it ruined my life.  You can't take that back.  And because of that…my mother's dead.  I don't want your money and I don't want your explanations.  All I want is for you to get out of _my _house and out of my life," Sirius said crossly._

            Silas Black stared at Sirius for a few seconds.  "Fine, I'll do as you wish.  But the money's still yours and you can do whatever you want with it, even if it's burning it all in a pit of fire.  Your twin sister forgave me, Sirius, just remember that."

            "Yeah, but Shannon never had a heart.  It's obvious where she gets it from," Sirius said maliciously.

            Silas looked over at his son with a pained expression on his face and decided not to say anything else about the subject.

            "Good-bye Sirius," he said turning around.

            Sirius didn't say anything back, and instead pulled out his seat angrily, almost letting it fall to the floor, and fell into it roughly with a cross look on his face.

            "Sirius…" Savannah said slowly.

            "I don't want to talk about it."

            "But-" James started.

            "No.  Just forget it."

            "Sirius-" Lily started.

            "Just stop, guys," he said painfully.  "I know you want to help but you can't.  No one can, so it doesn't matter anymore."

            "You're just saying that," James said comfortingly.

            "No, I know what I'm talking about.  And none of _you do.  So just forget it.  It has nothing to do with you."_

            "But when our friend is hurt, it _does have something to do with us," Lily said gently._

            "What do you _want from me!?" Sirius yelled.  "_Yes_, my father is still alive.  __Yes he was the one who helped kill my mother.  _Yes_ I have loads of money that I always knew about that I don't want.  And _YES_ I have a twin sister.  But that's all the information I'm giving you guys right now because I __don't want to talk about it!!"_

            "You don't have to talk about it, Si-Si, but we're still here for you," Savannah said quietly.

            "I don't need anything from you guys," Sirius said gently with a hint of aching.  "Please…just let it go."

            Savannah looked over at him and wish there was some way of making him feel better, but she knew that it was better left alone, and she sighed looking at his miserable face.

~~*~~*~~*~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Masssssster," a voice hissed in the night.

            "No, not now."

            "Then when?"

            "There will be three of them by summer."

            "What happenssss then?"

            "They'll all die."

            "They're alone now.  Why can't it be done now, Massssster?"

            "_Because_, you stupid boy!!  Because, _then I can watch the look on the Potters' faces as their child slowly dies in front of them…only weeks after it has been born!"_

            "Sssso what happenssss now?"

            "We wait, Wormtail…we wait," Voldemort said, sneaking away from the house quietly.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            The next night, only Savannah was home just after finishing putting Elizabeth to bed, when a knock came at the door around nine o'clock p.m.  She walked downstairs towards the front door.

            When she opened the door it revealed an unfamiliar woman who had long, wavy black hair and dark hazel eyes.  She looked about thirty, maybe, and had a very sinister and eager look on her face.

            "May I help you?" Savannah asked slowly and cautiously.

            "Does a Sirius Black live here?" the woman said, acting as if she'd rather be anywhere but there.

            "He seems to be the popular one this holiday," Savannah muttered with a slight smile.

            The woman didn't even bat an eye.

            "Okay, um…no, he's not here at the moment but he should be home quite soon if you want to come in and-"

            "No, no.  I'll just come back another time.  I'm a very busy woman and I don't have time to chat with strangers," she said crossly.

            "_Stranger??" Savannah recoiled.  "I'm his _wife, _thank you."_

            The woman looked at Savannah curiously.  "He's married."  She didn't phrase it as a question; she simply stated it as if him being married was so unusual for him.

            "Yes.  Is that a problem?" Savannah responded with an attitude.

            The woman narrowed her eyes at Savannah.  "_No_.  And I don't need your attitude, Miss Know-It-All."

            "I don't even know who the hell you are so I think my attitude is _my _decision."

            "Look, missy, I don't know how old you are, but I sure as hell don't need some young ditz telling me off."

            "_Young ditz!?" Savannah shrieked.  "I'll have you know that I'm __twenty-eight, happily married with a little daughter that I love dearly and another child on the way!  So don't tell me I'm some __young ditz."_

            The woman gasped.  "Twenty-eight!"

            "It's good to know you're listening."

            "And two children?"

            "_Yes_," Savannah said impatiently.

            "So…I'm an aunt?"

            "_What!?" Savannah cried in shock._

            They both heard footsteps behind them and turned to see Sirius walking up the pathway.  When he saw the woman at the door he started to slow down as he narrowed his eyes at the woman.

            "Sirius," she nodded.

            He took a deep breath in and out.  "…Shannon," he said with no expression.  They didn't say anything more for a while as Savannah slipped into the sitting room quietly, to take a seat on to the couch, folding laundry, pretending not to listen.

            "I hear you're married with a daughter and you have another kid on the way," Shannon said, finally breaking the silence.

            Sirius was taken aback at her approach.  "Yeah…so?"

            She shrugged.  "Interesting."

            "What's interesting?  The fact that I've moved on with my life or the fact that I'm so much better off than you are?"

            She narrowed her eyes at him.  "Dad came to see me over a week ago."

            "I know and I don't want any of the money."

            "Money?"

            "The inheritance and Dad's share."

            "Oh."

            "I don't want it.  In fact, you take it."

            "You and I both know I can't have it even as much as I wish I _could _take it."

            "Yes you can…if Dad dies or _I die."_

            "Oh, so you think I'm going to go kill off Dad?" she cried incredulously.

            "Kinda like he killed off Mom," Sirius muttered.  "Besides, if Dad died it'd mean that everything our parents ever owned becomes ours, which is a heck of a lot more than nine million galleons."

            "And I'm guessing you'd let me have that, too."

            "All of it, down to the crystal duck in the middle of our old damn hallway."

            "What if I didn't want the crystal duck?"

            "Then you could have the crystal cat."

            "That's not what I meant."

            "I know.  But I don't care.  It's not mine to worry about."

            "I didn't come here to argue about crystal ducks and cats, Sirius."

            "Okay, then why did you come here?  I haven't seen you for sixteen years, I haven't heard from you in sixteen years, I haven't talked to you in sixteen years, and here you are standing on my doorstep acting like everything is normal when we both know it's not."

            "Why isn't everything normal, bro?  I mean, my life seems fine at the moment.  It just seems like you have some unresolved issues in life," she smirked.

            "Do you not care about your mother at _all_, Shannon??  And what your Dad _did to her!?" Sirius cried._

            "I care about her plenty, but when Dad took me away when we were seven, I learned to appreciate him more than our mother."

            "So you've learned to appreciate a fucked-up murderer?"

            "Sirius…"

            "Do you appreciate what he did to her?"

            "I didn't even _know her, Sirius.  Besides, Dad turned back to the good side!  I forgave him for what he did.  He realized his life wasn't worth Voldemort's orders.  What more do you want from him??"_

            "What do you mean, '_what more?'  I never _got _anything from him.  And I'd like to keep it that way."_

            "You're too stubborn, bro."

            "He's too pathetic_, sis."_

            "You know, losing nine million galleons isn't worth your dignity."

            "No, losing nine million galleons is worth a _lot _more than that.  That money represents _everything I'm against.  That money represents everything I turned on when I was twelve.  That money represents our father…__and our mother."_

            "So you're just going to give it up?"

            "I'm not giving it up.  I'm just not taking it."

            "I don't understand you."

            "You don't have to."

            "But I want to."

            "Why?  You've never wanted to before."

            "So it doesn't mean I can't start…"

            "What's the point?  You're just like the rest of them."

            "The rest of who?"

            "Every single damn person who believes that maybe…_maybe _our father isn't so bad after all."

            "That's crazy."

            "Is it?"

            "Yes."

            "Well, you're wrong."

            "Why are you trying to get me to hate you?"

            "I'm not trying to get you to do anything.  All I know is that my father is a no-good, low-life _bastard _who can't stand realizing that he was wrong about everything."

            "What about me?"

            Sirius stared at her for a long time.  "To me, you're just a nobody."

            "What about to everyone else?"

            Sirius paused.  "To dad…you're everything."

            "Why do you think so?"

            "Because you're exactly like him."

            "You don't know what you're talking about."

            "Yes I do.  And so do you.  You're just too afraid to admit that I'm right."

            "About _what!?"_

            "About _everything, Shannon!!  Why Mom died!  Why Dad _let _her die!  Why he left Mom and me!  Why he took __you!  How he changed you!  How he changed the __world!  How he changed my heart!  __Why he changed my heart!  And of course…__why he never cared."_

            "If you're so damn smart, why _did he never care?"_

            "Because _you were the perfect one who looked up to him through every step of the way and you realized he wasn't who he said he was a little too late…and __I was the one who realized in the beginning that he was nothing.  I was the one who knew he'd end up hurting the family.  I was the one who knew he'd never be forgiven.  I was the one who __knew that in the end, he'd be a nobody…and have nobody."_

            "So you think you've got it all figured it out, aye?"

            "No, I've only begun to figure it out."

            "Then why don't you stop controlling his destiny and start worrying about _yours_."

            "Shannon, I haven't seen you in sixteen years.  Don't come into _my house and tell me what to worry about."_

            "Fine…as long as _you don't object to this only because you know I'm right."_

            "You don't know anything."

            "I know you're giving up a heck of a lot of money just because you're trying to save yourself."

            "I'm not trying to save anyone."

            "Oh, so you're saying that this nine million galleons that you're giving up isn't going to help you or your family in any way?"

            "Oh, no.  It _would_ be a great help.  But I'm not going to live in a house plagued by money that's mine because of a father who turned to Voldemort.  I'm not going to redecorate my child's room plagued by money that eventually turns out to be connected to Voldemort.  I'm not going to buy any gifts for my wife or my kids that comes from _Voldemort's_ money."

            "Fine, whatever.  I don't care.  It's your problem, not mine."

            "No, it's the exact opposite.  Because I don't care and I don't want it."

            "You said that."

            "And I'll say it as many times as you need it, to understand that I don't want anything to do with my father.  I want nothing to do with the money.  I want nothing to do with my family.  I want nothing to do with you.  I want nothing to do with any of it.  I'm not a part of that anymore, and I'd like to keep it that way.  I've moved on.  I'm a changed man.  I'm not who I used to be.  Because _I…don't…care."_

            "Then maybe I should go, to be courteous to your wants and needs," Shannon said sarcastically.

            "It would've been even more courteous if you never showed up here in the first place."

            "And leave my bro high and dry?" 

            "Exactly."

            "You're making a mistake."

            "No, I'm not.  You just want to think I am."

            "I'm not like Dad."

            "Yes you are.  You just don't want to think you are."

            "No, Dad killed our mother.  _I'd_ never kill anybody."

            "Except yourself."

            "What?"

            "Nothing, Shannon.  Nevermind."

            "No, tell me what you meant by that."

            "It means that ever since you started looking up to Dad, you've been ruining yourself deep down inside.  You were once a good person.  But now…you're everything but."

            "It hurts knowing that my twin brother, my own flesh and blood, believes that I'm evil."

            "Hey, it's not my fault.  I didn't bring this upon you.  You-"

            "Let me guess.  You're going to say that I brought this upon myself, right?"

            Sirius nodded.  "At least you have _some brains to figure it out yourself," he replied._

            "I don't know what you're talking about, Sirius, but I don't think I want to know."

            "Then this is good-bye."

            "Yeah."

            "Bye, Shannon."

            "Have a nice life."

            "I wish I could say the same for you," Sirius said, slamming the door in her face and turning back to the couch where Savannah was sitting with Elizabeth, acting as if she didn't hear a thing.  But the look on her face prompted Sirius to perceive she heard every single word of their conversation.  And the look on Sirius' face made Savannah comprehend that he knew she had heard everything.

**A/N: **Well……………seems like a lot of family tension, don't you agree?  lol. Anyway, review this please!!!!!!!!  

Upcoming: uh-oh, what happens when Sirius and Savannah get into a fight?  And what about everyone else?  What's going on in there lives?  Hmm….keep reading!!  It gets **_VERY _**exciting in the next few chapters and I'm not just saying that to say it.  I honestly mean it!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	27. Family Feud 2

**A/N: **Next chapter, up and ready for reviews!!!  There's not much else to say except thank you to frostedflake333 and Danni is Divine, James is Mine who reviewed my last chapter!!  Thanks for reading and keep enjoying!!!  Everyone else: REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!  (are you taking a hint yet?)

**Disclaimer:  **You know how this goes.  Just see previous chapters.

**MEMORIES**

**CHAPTER 28: Family Feud #2 **

**Written by ByeByeBirdie**

            Savannah didn't say anything, mostly because she didn't know _what _to say and Sirius didn't say anything mostly because he was afraid to say anything.

            "I don't want the money," Sirius whispered, putting his head in her lap as she stroked his hair.

            "I know."

            "No one knew about my mother, Vannie.  Not even James.  Not even Lily.   No one.  And now I'm just afraid that…in some way I'll get hurt again."

            "By what?"

            "He-who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

            "You won't."

            "How do you know?"

            "Because I won't let you.  Because Lily and James won't let you.  Because Peter and Remus and Kaitlynne and Allie won't let you. Because you have friends who'd do anything for you."

            "That's what I'm afraid of."

            "What are you afraid of?"

            "That one of _you will end up getting hurt…and it'd be all my fault."_

            "It won't be your fault, Si-Si, and we both know it."

            "My father claims to have returned to the good side, but I don't trust him any more than I trust Snape.  And Shannon claims to be a good person, but she has my father's heart.  And my father's heart is what killed me mother." 

            "But don't' you think it means something that he came here?"

            "No."

            "And what about your sister?  You can't blame this on her just because she lived with the guy!"

            "Vannie, it's complicated."

            "Yeah, well it's been sixteen years," she pointed out.

            "Vannie, I've known you for seventeen years and I've never doubted anything you told me.  So please don't doubt me on this."

            "I'm not doubting you."

            "Yes you are."

            "_No I'm not_, Si-Si.  I'm just saying that maybe it _meant_ something when your father _and_ your sister came to seek you out."

            "_After sixteen years!?" Sirius cried._

            "Yes, even after sixteen years!"

            "If your father killed your mother, would you forgive him?" Sirius said crossly.

            "Your father admits that it was a stupid thing, Si-Si.  Now why can't _you _admit it?"

            "Because in my mind he's still the man that abandoned my mother and I and then five years later, _came back to get his revenge!!!" Sirius cried._

            "It sounds like you blame yourself."

            "That's _crazy!"_

            "Is it?"

            "Yes."

            "Then stop worrying about it!!  It's called forgiving and forgetting!"

            "No, I will _never forget what he did.  I'll be seventy years-old rocking in my rocking chair watching the sun set and in the back of my mind, I will still have a vague memory of my pathetic father using Voldemort to kill my mother.   I don't have a mother, __Savannah. And you want to know why?  Because my father as good as killed her."_

            "I don't have a mother, either, Sirius, but-"

            "That's totally different than my situation."

            "How?  Voldemort killed her also!"

            "Yeah, but was your father the death-eater by his side?"

            "No, but-"

            "Then you'll never know what it's like."

            "I don't _need to know.  I-"_

            "I know you don't need to know.  But obviously, _you think you _do _need to know."_

            "Stop being so goddamn stubborn, Sirius Black!"

            "Only after _you stop being so goddamn protective!"_

            "Oh, so I'm not allowed to be protective over my _husband!?_"

            "I don't need your protection, Savannah!!  I need you to stay out of personal business!"

            "When it's you're family, it's _my personal business, also."_

            "No…no, it's not."

            "Sirius, your father-"

            "Was a selfless, cynical villain who I will _never _forgive," Sirius said venomously.

            "But your sister-"

            "Is the younger version of him."

            "You're being too harsh on yourself, Sirius.  You deserve to live a good life.  You don't deserve to be in this situation!"

            "I was living a good life without them!!" Sirius shouted.

            "You don't mean that and you know it! You've always missed the perfect family. It's not fair to you. You don't deserve to live like this…in this kind of situation."

            "Yeah, and if I forgive my father, _which I won't, I'll still be in the same situation!  So what's the difference!?!?" _

            "The difference has to do with _you!  You'd feel like a much better person once you forgave him."_

            "No…_you'd feel like a much better person."_

            "This isn't about me."

            "Then why are you acting like it is?"

            "Because I love you too much to see you get hurt again!"

            "You have a funny way of showing it."

            "Are you accusing me of not loving you??"

            "No, I'm accusing you of prying into something that you know _nothing _about!"

            "Sirius, your family is-

            "_JUST SHUT UP!!_" Sirius cried way too harshly."You don't understand, Savannah!!!  You don't understand _anything!!  __And you never will!"_

            Those words hurt Savannah more than she thought they would.  Savannah was always the one that Sirius went to in a time of need.  She knew what he was _always _going through and for being told that she didn't understand him just stung her too much. 

            Savannah pursed her lips together, and turned her back on Sirius with a furious look on her face.  She grabbed her jacket, and shoved past Sirius.

            "Where are you going?" he asked.

            She turned to him, while slipping on her jacket.  "Like you'd care," she muttered angrily, heading towards the front door.

            "Savannah, wait," he said grabbing her arm.

            "Why?  So I could be insulted by you again?" Savannah asked harshly, before slamming the door in his face and speed-walking to the end of the walkway.

            Sirius knew he should have said he was sorry, but the words just weren't coming to him.  He opened the front door and yelled after her,  "Fine, run away!  See if I care!  You can be just like my father and my sister!  What happens when a problems occurs?!  _YOU RUN!!"_

            "_Fuck you, Sirius Black!  And I hope you go to hell!"_ Savannah screamed, not wanting to believe that she could be someone like Mr. Black or Shannon.  Her eyes filled with hot tears as she apparated away from her house.

            "That didn't go so well," he muttered before slumping on to the couch as tears of anger, frustration, sorrow, and pain started falling down his cheeks.  

            About two minutes later, he heard a wail from the upstairs, and for some odd reason a smile began to appear on his face.  He walked up the stairs and into the first room on the left, which was covered in a nice pink color for the walls and two windows that looked out on to the street.  Toys were piled up off to the side and a few stuffed animals were thrown about on the floor.

            Sirius walked over to the wooden crib and gently picked up Elizabeth, who immediately died down on the screeching.

            "Shhh, baby girl.  It's okay.  Daddy's here."

            "Daddy?" Elizabeth repeated, yawning and stretching out before grabbing his shirt and cuddling into it.

            Sirius sat down in the rocking chair and watched Elizabeth close her eyes and begin to fall asleep and he couldn't help but notice that she looked almost exactly like Savannah.

            "Aww, Elizabeth.  Please don't grow up and end up fighting with your husband too much.  Especially if your husband is an idiot who insults you excessively.  But let's just hope your father doesn't turn out to be the killer of your mother."  Sirius couldn't help but chuckle.  "I wish I could tell you your life is going to be perfect…unfortunately, I got to figure out how perfect mine is before I start worrying about anyone else."  Sirius kissed her on the forehead.  "Good-night, sweetheart," he whispered, placing her back in the crib quietly and gently.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Savannah!?  What are you doing here?" James cried. He saw her tear strained cheeks. "And what's wrong? What happened?"

            Savannah sighed.  "Sirius and I got into an argument."

            "Oh, no.  What happened?"

            "I started prying too much into his personal business and…and he told I'd never understand him," Savannah said, choking up.

            "Aw, come here, Savannah," James said, pulling her in for a hug. 

            "Thanks, James."

            "No problem."

            "I…I just didn't know where else to go.  And I didn't want to turn back home."

            "No, it's fine.  You can be our first guest in the guest bedroom!"

            "Oh, how thrilling," Savannah said sarcastically with a grin through her tears.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Savannah sat staring at the ceiling two nights later still angry with Sirius.  She hasn't gone back to her house and Sirius hasn't come looking for her.  She was afraid that the outcome of the fight would be disastrous, but she wasn't about to tell anyone that.  She knew it was stupid to pry in Sirius' business, but she hated to see him hurt in any way.  And she knew Sirius wasn't about to forgive anyone, but she just wanted to see him happy.

            There was a knock on the door below her, but she didn't think anything of it.  She heard muffled voices and heard footsteps on the stairs.  A minute later, a head popped into her room.

            "Mommy!!" Elizabeth cried, jumping on the bed and jumping on top of Savannah.

            "Oof!" Savannah said with a laugh.  "Hey, honey.  How'd you get here?"

            "Daddy," she replied.

            Savannah smiled at her daughter.  Savannah had missed her in the past couple of days, she realized.  Elizabeth had always cheered her up.

            "He sorry," Elizabeth eventually said, sitting on Savannah's stomach.

            "What?" Savannah said, taken by surprise.

            "He say sorry," Elizabeth replied.

            Savannah rolled his eyes, but couldn't help smile.  "And to think he's using _you _to get me to forgive him."

            "Did it work?" a voice said from the doorway.

            Savannah looked up and sighed.  "Almost," Savannah said, cracking a smile.

            "She missed you," Sirius said nodding towards Elizabeth.  "She kept asking for you."

            "And what about you?"

            Sirius sighed.  "I missed you, too."  He walked over and sat on the bed beside her.  "I'm sorry, Savannah.  I didn't mean to scream at you and imply that you didn't understand me.  The truth is, you're the one who understands me the most which is why I knew what you were saying was logical."

            "No, it wasn't.  I just hate to see you unhappy and I hate to see you get hurt.  You were right when you said I was protecting you."

            "And you have every right to be.  We're all overprotective at times…especially in a marriage."

            "You know I love you, Sirius. Nothing's going to change that."

            "I know, and I love you, too, Vannie."

            "Okay, so our first argument as a married couple wasn't totally horrendous," Savannah said, cracking a smile.

            "And hopefully it will be our last," Sirius said, lying back beside her after giving her a quick kiss and Elizabeth climbed in between them.

            "Awwww," a voice said from the doorframe.  No…make that two voices, for James and Lily were standing in their doorframe.

            Both Sirius and Savannah looked up as Elizabeth started jumping up and down on the bed.

            "You three make such an adorable family," Lily said.

            "Yilly!  Yilly!" Elizabeth cried, hopping off the bed and grabbing onto Lily's ('Yilly') leg.

            "Awww," Lily said, picking her up.  "Can I keep her, _please_?  Pretty please with a cherry on top??"

            Savannah laughed.  "Sorry, hon, but this cute little girl belongs to me," Savannah said, grabbing Elizabeth and swinging her around before planting a big kiss on her cheek.

            "And me," Sirius said with a smile before planting a big kiss on her lips.

            "Ick," Elizabeth said with a screwy face, and they all laughed. 

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Savannah, are you almost ready!?" Sirius cried up the stairs.  They were going to a formal New Year's Party at a country club down the road from them.

            "Just be patient!!" Savannah cried.

            "I've _been _patient for the past twenty minutes!!" Sirius joked.  "If you're not down here in-"

            He stopped at the sight of Savannah slowly venturing down the stairs.  She was in a long, satiny, shimmery sequined black cocktail dress with a huge smile planted on her face.  

            "You look…beautiful," Sirius said, amazed.

            "Don't sound so surprised," Savannah teased, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

            "Oh, I'm definitely not," he replied, kissing her a quick kiss on the lips.  He couldn't help but notice that around Savannah's neck was the necklace that he gave her…the one she _didn't _know who gave her.

            Savannah caught him staring at the necklace, and she rubbed her hand over it and smiled at him.  "Isn't it gorgeous?"

            "It's even more gorgeous on you," he whispered.  He took a deep breath in and exhaled it out.  "Vannie…I don't think I've ever told you this, but…" he trailed off.

            "What?  What's wrong?"

            "Oh, nothing.  It's just that…well, I was the one who gave you that necklace," he said quietly.

            Savannah froze and looked up at him with a shocked expression.  "_Y-You did??"_

            Sirius nodded guiltily. 

            "But…we weren't going out then. We were hardly _friends_.  And why didn't you ever tell me?  And why didn't you leave a card on the box?"

            "If I _had_ left a card on the box you would've marched right up to me and handed me the box back telling me that I shouldn't have done it.  This way, we both could be happy."

            "No, I probably would have realized how much you still cared for me."

            "No you wouldn't have."

            Savannah was silent.

            "And I never told you because I didn't think it was that important.  It was five years ago, Vannie.  Who cares anyway?"

            "_I do.  I…you…I mean, why'd you do it?"_

            "Don't you know?"

            "No."

            He sighed.  "Because you deserved it.  Because I have always loved you and you deserved the best.  And even though the best wasn't me…that necklace was.  I bought it about ten years ago and I had been waiting for the perfect moment to give it to you.  And I knew if I hadn't have given it to you by the time I did…then there may not have been another time I would've had the guts to give it to you.

            Savannah stared at him for a few seconds.  "Why are you so perfect?"

            Sirius was taken aback by her reply.  "I-I'm not."

            "Maybe not to everyone else…but _I'm_ the only one that matters."            

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

             About six months later, on July 16, Allie unexpectedly showed up at Sirius' and Savannah's house, which was about two weeks before Savannah was due to have her baby, carrying Cole in her arms and holding Jenna's hand.

            "Hey, Savannah," Allie said, when she answered the door.  "I'm sorry to bother you but is Sirius' here?"

            Savannah shook her head.  "No, he's in Diagon Alley with Peter.  Why?"

            "Well, actually, I was hoping to leave Cole and Jenna with you and Sirius for the time being. You see, I need to go up to Norway to visit my grandfather in the hospital, who has cancer now, and because Kaitlynne hasn't been feeling that well I didn't want to leave them with her and Remus so I was hoping Sirius and you could take care of them for the time being."

            "Oh, Allie, I'm so sorry about your grandfather."

            Allie smiled and shook her head.  "It's okay.  We weren't that close anyway."

            "Oh…well I'm still sorry."

            Allie smiled.  "Hm…maybe I'll just leave Cole and Jenna with James and Lily or something," she thought out loud.

            Savannah shook her head.  "No, keep them here with me.  I know, I know.  You're wondering if I could handle them being almost nine months pregnant and all, but I'm taking care of Elizabeth fine now and I'll get James and Lily to get their butts down here to help."

            "Oh, really?  That would be so great of you!"

            "It's no problem, I promise."

            "Great!  Thanks so much, Savannah.  I really appreciate it.  And I owe you."

            "You don't owe me anything, Allie.  Just go up to Norway and I hope your grandfather feels better."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            About three hours later, around five o'clock in the afternoon, Sirius and Peter were leisurely sitting in Butterbeer Throne, a nice coffee shop in Diagon Alley.

            "I just can't believe that in less than a month, I'm going to be a father.  It amazes me," Sirius said.  "And I know I have Elizabeth, but it's different.  The new baby will be Savannah's and _mine.  Not just anybody's, but it's her and me. I've always dreamed of this.  This is what I've wanted for as long as I could remember and now my dream will become reality," Sirius said with a dreamy smile on his face._

            "Everything seems so perfect nowadays for you, doesn't it?" Peter stated.

            "It's true.  Everything that-"

            "_Sirius_!" a voice cried from behind them.

            They all turned around and saw James running towards their table, panting heavily.

            "James?  What's wrong?  What are you doing here?  Is everything okay?" Sirius asked.

            James shook his head, as he tried to catch his breath.  "I hope so.  God, where have you guys _been!?!?  I've been searching Diagon Alley for about an __hour now trying to find you guys!!!!" James shouted._

            "Whoa, calm down.  What's wrong?"

            "Nothing's wrong…that is, if we _hurry," James panted._

            "Slow down, James, and tell us what's going on."  Sirius asked full of concern.

            James slowly turned his frown into a smile and fixed his eyes on Sirius, realizing he hadn't told him yet.  "Well…you're about to become a father…"

**A/N: **OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!!  It's finally happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!  You're just going to have to keep on reading to see how everything turns out!!  **_AND_**, if you review I might just get more chances to update!  PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ just say SOMETHING.  _Anything!  I really just want to know what everyone thinks.  I honestly want some constructive criticism!  It doesn't take that long, so DO IT!!  _


	28. 3 Wives, 2 Babies, 1 Family in Danger

**A/N: **OMGIOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!!  IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!  AREN'T YOU ALL SCREAMING FOR JOY LIKE I AM!?  AREN'T YOU AS EXCITED AS I AM!?  Well, just keep reading out find out what else happens………..

**Disclaimer: **See previous chapters…

MEMORIES 

**CHAPTER 29: Three Wives…Two Babies…One Family in Danger**

**Written by ByeByeBirdie**

            Both Sirius and  gasped and Sirius sat in shock for a few minutes before finally realizing what James had just said.  "Oh, My God!!  I have to go now.  Oh, God.  Oh, wow.  Oh, man.  Okay…umm…Is Savannah okay?  Where is she?  How's she doing?  How long ago did it happen?  How long has she been at the hospital??  Why is the baby coming two weeks in advance?  _And why am I still here!?!?!?"_ Sirius cried, jumping out of his seat.

            James laughed and grabbed him.  "Come on, let's just hurry and I'll explain everything on the way there!"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Damnit, where is he?" Savannah groaned.

            "He's going to be here soon, Savannah," Lily said, holding on to her hand.  

            "Oh, no," Savannah cried.  "Another contraction," she breathed heavily.  

            "Calm down, Savannah.  Breathe in, breathe out," Lily advised.  "Hey, you know, this is going to help me for when my baby comes."

            "Aghhhh," she cried, as she gave her a murderous look 

            "Right, right.  Not important," Lily said as Savannah squeezed her hand tightly.

            "Ow, ow, ow, ow," Savannah said.

            "You're going to be fine, honey," Lily whispered.

            "I was so not ready for this today!!  I was just supposed to baby-sit today!!  And now those kids had to see my damn water break and had to see me screaming for over two hours!!!!  God was not supposed to have me giving birth in his handbook for today!!"

            Lily couldn't help but chuckle.

            "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHH!" Savannah cried, as another bigger contraction came.  She was getting ready to scream again when suddenly her doctor opened the door and came to look at her charts.

            "Um, excuse me?" Savannah asked crossly.

            "Yeah?" the doctor sad, nodding.

            "As much fun as sitting here on this bed for an hour has been, I'm about to kill someone right about now.  _When will this damn baby come out!?!" Savannah screeched._

            "Actually, you're ready for delivery now and it doesn't seem like the baby will wait, so we're going to wheel you down to the delivery room now and we should probably hurry," the doctor said looking at Savannah and giving her a smile.  "You're about to become a mother."

            Savannah sucked in her breath as another contraction came.  "Ouch!  Ooh, ooh, ooh," Savannah cried, squeezing Lily's hand.

            "Wait, wait, wait," Lily said, as her hand was probably about to fall off. 

            "What?" Savannah asked, alarmed.

            "What about Sirius?"

            Savannah gasped and turned back to the doctor.  "Wait, no, I can't do this without my husband."

            "I'm sorry, but this baby doesn't seem to want to listen."

            Savannah suddenly broke down into sobs as another contraction came just as the doctor and her assistant started wheeling her down.  "Damn him, damn him!!  I'm going to kill Sirius!  Why doesn't he ever tell me where's he going to be!?!?!"

            "Shhh, Savannah.  It's going to be alright."

            "Oooh, ooh, ooh!  Ow, ow, ow," Savannah screamed.  "How the hell is it going to be alright!?!?!  My damn husband isn't _here, _Lily, and he's the one that got me into this in the first place!"

            Lily tried to say something that would make her feel better, but she had nothing off the top of her head, so she just patted Savannah on the back.

            "No, no.  This is all wrong!" Savannah moaned.

            "It's the exact opposite.  You're about to have a baby.  That seems pretty right to me."

            "Yeah, but-"

            "**_SAVANNAH_****_!!_****" a voice screamed from down the hallway.**

            Savannah and Lily both looked up to see Sirius literally tearing through the hallways and running directly towards them.

            "Sirius," Savannah whispered, about to cry, grabbing his hand.

            "Oh, Vannie, I'm so sorry I got here so late," Sirius whispered into her ear, after kissing her on her sweaty cheek.

            "As long as you're here, Si-Si…as long as you're here," she mumbled as a tear rolled down her cheek.  She kissed his hand hard and held it tighter.

            "What's wrong?" Sirius asked.

            "Nothing…nothing at _all," Savannah answered.  "It's just…well…we're about to have a baby, Si."_

            Sirius smiled and bent down to give her a kiss.  "I know."

            They wheeled her through gray double doors with Sirius right beside her.  

            Lily stood there watching the doors swing back and forth thinking about how much Sirius' and Savannah's dream was about to come true.  

            "Hey, sweetheart," James muttered from behind her, kissing her on her forehead.

            "Why'd it take so long??" Lily demanded to know in frustration, hitting him on the arm.

            "Okay, _ow," James teased._

            Lily winced.  "Sorry."

            "I'm sorry, Babe.  I couldn't find them _anywhere," James answered with a sympathetic smile._

            "It's a good thing you finally did.  Sirius made it right in time."

            "I know.  Thank goodness.  I don't think Savannah would've wanted to do it on her own."

            "I know," Lily said, smiling secretly to herself.  "I can't believe they've waited this long without knowing the sex of the baby," she murmured.

            "I probably would have to kill myself if I didn't know.  Or maybe the suspense would kill me instead," James joked.

            Lily laughed and started thinking about Sirius and Savannah and their baby, and couldn't help smiling again.  "God, I'm so happy for them."

            "Oh, I know.  Here they are, _finally, having a baby.  A baby that they both wanted to have together for as long as I could remember."_

            "It just seems so…"

            "Perfect," they answered in unison.

            They exchanged looks and smiled at each other.  "And in a few weeks…that will be us," James said with a smile towards Lily as he bent down to give her a kiss.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Knock, knock, knock," Lily said, peeking her head into Savannah's hospital room, along with Kaitlynne, Remus, James, Peter, Josh, Jenna, Cole, and Elizabeth.

            "Oh, hi guys.  Come on in," Savannah said from her bed with the baby in her arms.

            "Mommy!" Elizabeth cried, running across the small room and crawling on to her bed.

            "Hey, honey," Savannah whispered.

            "What's dat?" she asked, and everyone laughed.

            "This is your new baby…" Savannah looked up into everyone's eyes and finished the sentence, "…Sister," Savannah said, with a glistening around her eyes.

            "It's a girl!?" Lily shrieked.

            Elizabeth looked at the sleeping girl in Savannah's arms.  "Sistuh?"

            They all laughed again and Savannah gave Elizabeth a comforting hug as Sirius kissed Elizabeth on the forehead.

            "Awww," Lily and James cooed.

            "It's like one big happy family," Kaitlynne said weakly with heart-warming smile.

            "It _is one big happy family," Remus corrected, drawing Kaitlynne closer to him._

            "What's her name?" Josh asked.

            Savannah and Sirius shrugged their shoulders.  "We're indecisive," Sirius replied. 

            "What?  I thought you had two girls' named picked out already," Peter pointed out.

            "We did.  But now we're still trying to choose between the two," Savannah said with a laugh, still holding onto her baby girl, with splotchy cheeks from tears. 

            "What two?" Kaitlynne asked.

            "Isabelle and Zoe," Sirius responded.

            "Oh, those are such cute names!" Lily squealed.

            "I know, but that's the problem," Savannah whined, and they all laughed.  "Okay, I love both names.  So, you get to choose, Sirius."

            "What?  I can barely choose between what color socks I'm going to wear in the morning, and that's only for the _day!  How am I supposed to choose what to name our baby, who will be ours for the rest of our lives??"_

            They all laughed.

            Savannah looked down at her daughter and couldn't help but get all teary-eyed.  As she looked into the baby's bright blue eyes, she suddenly remembered the first time they met, the first time they went out, the second time they went out, the third time they went out, etc. Then she remembered Christmas Day, the day she showed up at Sirius' house and the day he proposed to her.  And then their wedding…and then the rest of the year as a married couple.  Everything seemed to perfect…and it suddenly hit her.

            "Wait, Sirius," Savannah said, interrupting what he was saying to the rest of the group about the baby girl.

            "What, honey?" Sirius asked, full of concern.

            "What about…Leigh?" she said breathlessly.

            Sirius stared into Savannah's eyes for a few seconds before slowly grinning _very _widely.  He couldn't help but notice the tears in his eyelids.  "You remembered," he mumbled.

            "Of course I did," Savannah replied, giving Sirius a kiss on the cheek.

            "Then Leigh it is," Sirius responded, smiling even wider, if possible.

            "Isn't that Elizabeth's middle name?" Lily wondered. Savannah slightly jumped, forgetting that they were all there.

            "Whuh bout me?" Elizabeth babbled, which made everyone laugh again.

             "Yeah…Sirius gave her the middle name," Savannah explained.

            They all gave her blank stares.

            "I know, I know.  You're all thinking he wasn't there, but it's kind of a long story, and right now all I care about is little Leigh," Savannah said with a smile.

            "She's so adorable," Lily cooed.

            "It's obvious where she gets it from," Sirius said, winking at Savannah.

            "Yeah, after a long, hard, _annoying state of labor," Savannah muttered.  They all laughed as Savannah continued.  "In fact, I give up.  I'm never doing that again," she teased._

            "A-_hem.  I can't help notice that our family is a little unproportional," Sirius joked._

            "What's unproportional about it?  Four _girls doesn't seem enough?" Lily teased Sirius._

            Sirius threw a pillow at her.

            "I'm just kidding!" Lily cried with a laugh.

            "Sure, sure.  Is it Gang Up on Sirius Day and nobody told me?" Sirius said, feigning hurt.

            "No, it's Gang Up on Sirius _Century," James responded, and they all laughed._

            "Now, I hafta ask: how is getting a newborn daughter ganging up on you, Si?" Remus asked Sirius.

            "I obviously deserved a reward for taking all the pressure," Sirius replied.

            "Oh, and _I wasn't enough?" Savannah said with a laugh._

            "No…you were more than enough," Sirius whispered, kissing her on the lips before taking Leigh in his arms.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Two weeks later, on July 30, they were all back at the hospital, even Savannah who had _just got released a week and four days earlier with Leigh, to be there for the arrival of James' and Lily's little boy.  Unfortunately, their baby took much longer to be delivered than Savannah and Sirius.  All of their friends, plus Elizabeth, Cole, Jenna, and Leigh have already been waiting for over thirty-five hours, since the afternoon of July 28._

            "James, just kill me now and get this over with," Lily whined.

            "Honey, if I kill you then you won't live to see your baby boy."

            "Why do you have to be so goddamned reasonable?" Lily teased before tensing up to a contraction.  "Damnit!" she cried, holding her back and seething in pain.

            "It's going to be okay.  You're going to do a wonderful job and sooner or later you'll be a mother."

            "I hope it's _sooner rather than _later_," Lily cried.  "I haven't gotten any sleep in over a day and I'm tired of it!!  I want this damn baby out of me, James!"_

            "Shhh, it's okay.  You're-"

            "No, it's not, okay, James!!  I am in a damn hospital with a damn baby inside who's just waiting for the moment just to piss me off and all of my damn friends are in the waiting room, and they haven't left, even after I tell them a million times I'd call them when this baby was ready to come out!"

            James kissed her on her sweaty forehead.  "Honey, they love you so much they'd wait a whole century without sleeping if they had to.  And _I _love you, and that's all that matters, sweetheart."

            "Oh, what do you know.  You're not the one pregnant," Lily mumbled.

            "That's a good thing or else you'd be married to a transvestite."

            Lily had to laugh.  "I know, it's just that Savannah and Sirius have been having a tough time taking care of Leigh and Elizabeth and Kaitlynne's fever is getting worse and she shouldn't be up and around and Allie and Josh have been taking so much time off work and Peter…well, he's just been everywhere that past two weeks, and they should be at home sleeping!"

            James couldn't help but grin at his worried wife.  "Honey, they just want to be here for _you_."

            Lily pouted.  "Damnit, why do I have such good friends?"

            James laughed as a head peeked into the room.

            "Can I come in?" Sirius asked.

            "Sure, come on in," Lily said.

            Sirius walked in with a huge smile plastered on his face.  "Oh, guys, I'm so proud of you. This is so exciting!"

            "What is?  The fact that's I've been sitting here for over _thirty hours_ or the fact that this damn baby is still in my goddamned stomach!"

            Sirius laughed.  "_Both_ are exciting actually."

            Lily threw a pillow at him.

            "You know, you guys haven't slept at all either, Si.  In fact, for the past two weeks, you haven't slept much at all.  Why don't you all just go home and we'll just call you later or something?" James suggested.

            "No way am I leaving you two alone in the hospital at one o'clock in the morning waiting until the last possible second before this baby comes out."

            "Oh, thanks, Si.  So reassuring," Lily said sarcastically.

            "No problem, anytime," he teased.

            "I just want him out of me!  Why is he trying to torture me!?  Why is he doing this?  Was I not a good enough home for the past nine months!?" Lily yelled at her stomach.

            "Lily, step away from the stomach," James teased.

            "I wish I could!!" Lily exclaimed and they all laughed.

            "Sirius, now that I think about it, James and I had a proposition to make," Lily said after silence.

            "Okay, shoot."

            "Well…we were just wondering if you wanted to be godfather of our son," James said with a grin.

            Sirius gasped and stood there gaping at him in silence for a few seconds.  "Are you serious!?!"

            "Yeah, and yes I'm completely sane even with a baby who is very unwilling to come out hiding inside of me somewhere," Lily responded with a slight smile.

            "Wow…I mean…wow."

            "Is that a yes?" James asked.

            "Of course it's a yes.  I would absolutely love to.  This…this is amazing.  Thank you guys so much," Sirius said with a trembling smile on his face.   "This means so much to me.  You have no idea."

            "We knew you'd be perfect for the job," Lily said, as Sirius bent down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

            "Thanks so much," he whispered.  "Now I can teach him everything he'll need to know in life.  Like, the greatest pick-up lines, the best places to meet girls, what _not _to do on a date to be slapped by a girl, how to get beer under-age-"

            Lily turned to James and interrupted Sirius' train of thought by saying, "And you thought he'd be teaching our son how to have sex, James.  He is _obviously so much better than that."_

            "Yes, but I got the part where he was focused on girls pretty much right," James joked, and they all laughed jovially.  

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "It's just so…so perfect," Lily mumbled, rocking her son in her arms as the tears silently rolled down her cheek with happiness.

            "What's wrong?" Sirius asked, being the only one in the room at the moment since James had gone off to the gift shop to 'get a surprise' and everyone else had finally left.  It's already been an hour and half after Harry was born (at 6:32 a.m.) and Savannah had to put Elizabeth and Leigh down to bed since they were all tired and Allie and Josh had to put Cole and Jenna down to bed and Kaitlynne was nine months pregnant, tired, cranky, and could barely walk so she and Remus had left earlier.  

            "Nothing.  Everything seems so perfect, Sirius," Lily said, kissing the top of Harry's head.

            "It _is perfect," Sirius replied._

            "I know.  I'm just so goddamn happy," Lily whined.

            "Is that a bad thing?" he teased.

            "No, it's a good thing.  But I'm afraid that this happiness will die down soon," Lily confessed.

            "It won't.  Take it from Savannah and me.  Leigh has been with us for only two weeks and we can't be happier.  Even though Leigh is trouble and she wakes me up in the middle of the night wailing her little head off and you can't keep your eye off of her for one second or else she causes trouble-"

            "Was there a point to this story?" Lily joked.

            Sirius chuckled and continued, "She's just too adorable…and she's ours.  _That's _what matters."

            Lily nodded and looked up at Sirius. "You're so right."

            "I know I am," Sirius teased.

            "Knock, knock," a familiar voice said at the door, peeking into her room.

            Sirius and Lily both turned, thinking it would be James, but instead it was someone else, taking them both by surprise.

            "Professor Dumbledore!" Sirius gasped, obviously pleased.

            "What are you doing here?" Lily wondered.

            "Well, I heard about young little Harry here and I came to say congratulations," he said wisely.

            Both Lily and Sirius looked at each other in confusion.  "But he's only been born for about an hour and a half," Lily protested.

            "Word gets around fast," he said with a shrug as he turned to Sirius.  "And I heard congratulations are in order for you, as well."

            Sirius beamed.  "Yep."

            "And I hear Mrs. Kaitlynne Lupin-Young is still awaiting?"

            Both Sirius and Lily nodded.  "All in good time," Lily replied with a smile.

            "Yes, Mrs. Potter.  Very true."

            Lily was surely surprised to be hearing her last name as Potter, not Evans.  No one has actually called her that yet, but she couldn't help but notice how good it sounded.

            "Actually, I came here to talk to both you and James, if all possible."

            "Oh, sure, that's fine.  James should-"

            "What about me?" a voice said from the doorway, caring a bouquet of white roses and balloons.  "Oh, Professor Dumbledore!  How are you these days?"

            "Why, hello Mister Potter.  I've been great; thanks for asking."

            "What brings you here today?" James asked, putting down the gifts on the table nearby.

            "Just to congratulate both you and Mrs. Potter on your new-born baby and I have something important I must discuss with you two…privately," he added, eyeing Sirius.

            Sirius looked up.  "Right, right," Sirius said, sitting down in a nearby chair.  "Okay, go ahead."

            They all laughed, including Sirius.  He stood up walking towards the door.  "Nah, I'm just kidding.  Actually, I've got to be heading home anyway.  I'm sure Savannah needs my help.  I'll come back later, guys," Sirius said, turning to James and Lily.  "Congratulations again."

            Sirius left the room and Dumbledore turned to them.  "I'm not sure if this is going to come to you as a surprise or if you've been hearing rumors lately, but Lord Voldemort has been on your case for the past ten months, ever since you two had gotten married."

**A/N: **Uh-oh.  (that's all I hafta say besides REVIEW!)


	29. Two Down, One to Go

**A/N: **Yes, I'm back (and I'm back earlier than I expected!)  There's not much to say except if you keep on reading, your questions will be answered.  And thanks to Hart-break, Stephy Chan, me, frostedflake333, Natalie, and Beauty for reviewing my last few chapters!!

**Disclaimer: **See previous chapters.

MEMORIES 

**CHAPTER 30: Two Down and One to _Go_**

**Written by ByeByeBirdie**

            Lily gasped.  "_What_?"

            "_Why_?" James cried.

            "Well, it seems as if someone has been giving him close and secret information about both of you and now he's out to get you.  Mr. Potter, you were one of the Aurors who had stopped him from taking control of Europe over five years ago and you stopped him from taking more lives at the Bucknell Quidditch pitch last November and you have been tracking down some of his best death-eaters ever since and sending them to Azkaban where they are no good to him.  You are also one of the best Aurors this country has and as great as an accomplishment that is, it's a threat to him and to his work.  You may not know this, but you've been ranked one of the best-working Aurors in all of Europe due to all of the constant help you give to the agency.  And Mrs. Potter, it seems that because you've been working with the _Daily Prophet you've gotten more information about him and you know what's happening in his world.  Both of you have stopped him from doing dangerous things to this world, and the rest of the world thanks you, but he does not.  Ever since you two have gotten married, he's been able to track you down and follow you…and unfortunately it seems that someone is helping him."_

            Lily sat in her bed trembling as James held on to her hand tightly.  Both were shaken up a bit and as white as a ghost, not realizing that they were more scared than confused.

            "But…but…why hasn't he done anything to us beforehand?" James asked.

            Dumbledore glanced at him with a fearful look.  "No one knows, but I'm betting he's been waiting for this child to be born.  He knew you two would be a thousand times happier with Harry, and to crush not only your lives but your baby's life would make the situation a little more enlightening to him than doing it when he had the time over the past ten months."

            "But…who's giving him our information?" Lily asked.  "Who would know about everything that James had done on his business plus all of the information that I found out at my work?"

            Dumbledore turned to give her a once-over.  He sighed before explaining.  "It's not just that, Mrs. Potter.  He knows everything about you and your friends since you two received your letters to Hogwarts."

            "But…who?" Lily repeated.

            Dumbledore's face cast a black shadow as he burned a hole through the wall with his eyes.  "I'm afraid the only answer is that it must be someone very close to both of you who has been giving Lord Voldemort your personal information."

            Both James and Lily gasped, not wanting to believe it.  "But…no.  It's not possible.  It's not fair.  This can't be happening."

            "I'm afraid it is, Mrs. Potter, although I don't know two people who don't deserve this the most."

            Lily could only nod in fear.

            "I also want to warn you two to watch your family and friends.  Voldemort has a way of torturing certain wizards and witches by murdering people quite close to them.  But it's your business to tell, not mine."

            Lily just nodded, due to the lump in her throat.

            "Okay," James replied nervously.

            "This is all that I know about the situation, but once I found out about it, I had to come straight to you.  I want you two to be safe and I want you two to watch out and be careful."

            "We will, and thank you, Professor, for coming here today," James said.

            "Now, I have to get back to my office but if you two have any questions or you need someone to talk to, please come straight to me.  I'm always available."

            Lily and James nodded and said their good-byes as Dumbledore turned to leave the room and the hospital.

            Lily burst into tears moments after.  "Why is this happening?"

            "Shhh, it's okay, honey.  We're going to be fine.  We'll figure something out to do.  Just calm down and I know everything is going to end up perfect."

            Lily nodded.  "I'm just scared."

            "I know…so am I.  But let's not show it.  I don't want any of our friends finding this out because they'll only get overprotective of us, and we don't need it and they can't afford it."

            "James, Dumbledore just told us that Voldemort could be watching for them as well!  We can't let that happen to our friends!"

            "We'll watch out for them, Lily, but Savannah and Sirius have a two-week year old baby they need to take care of.  Kaitlynne is in no condition to be up and walking around and she's been feeling worse and worse lately and Allie is just starting work again and has no time for worrying.  We can't do this to _them."_

            Lily nodded, knowing he was right.  "Okay, you're right.  But you have to promise me you are going to be incredibly careful and make smart decisions and that you'll stop in at all of our friends' homes and your mother's house once and a while."

            "I will, as long as you do the same."

            "I will, James.  I promise," Lily murmured.

            "Nothing's going to happen to us, Lily.  I won't let it."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Remus!!" Lily cried, four days later on August 4.

            Remus turned around and ran towards her, giving her a hug.  "Oh, thank God you got my message."

            "I got here as soon as I could.  What happened?"

            Remus sighed.  "We're not sure.  She just couldn't move this morning and she was having memory loss for periods of time, and she was chilled…like ice or something.  Her back kept sending sharp pains up and down her spine and she was as white as a ghost, and I knew I had to get her to the hospital.  They thought it may be pneumonia, but it's not."

            "Oh, my God," Lily murmured.  "Is she okay?"

            "Actually, she's…well, she's in labor," Remus said bewildered.

            "She _is?" Lily squeaked._

            "Yeah."

            "But…but…isn't she ill?"

            "Yeah.  She's in a weak stage right now and_ I think she's is in no condition to be giving birth, but the doctors are saying that Kaitlynne will be fine as long as she works with them and does it as soon as possible."_

            Lily took a deep breath in and out.  "When did she find out??"

            "I brought her to the hospital and after many tests, the doctors told us that she was in labor.  She was so scared.  I just hope she'll be okay."

            "Kaitlynne's strong.  I'm sure she'll be just fine," Lily assured.

            "I hope you're right," he muttered.  "Not to change the subject or anything, but where is everyone?"

            "Savannah, Elizabeth, Jenna, Allie and Josh all went to go see a movie, and James, Sirius, Leigh and Harry went to Diagon Alley for a while.  I needed a break so I sat down to take a nap, and I didn't hear the phone ring.  But I got your message about half an hour ago.  I went to Diagon Alley to see if I could find James and Savannah, but I decided after no such luck, that you needed someone at the moment, so I came here soon after.  I left urgent messages at their homes and a note on our front door"

            Remus nodded.  "Thanks.  And thanks for coming to stay with me.  You're right—I just needed to be with someone."

            Lily gave him a sympathetic smile.  "I'm always here, Remus.  You know that."

            He nodded.  "Thanks, Lils," he replied, giving her a short hug.

            "Mr. Lupin?" a voice said from behind.

            They both turned to see who it was.  "Yes?"

            "I'm Dr. Stevens and I've been told to come tell you that your wife is ready to deliver but she wants to see you for a few minutes before being wheeled into the delivery room.  But, please, don't let her talk much.  It will take up too much energy out of her and she needs her strength."

            Remus nodded.  He turned back to Lily and gave her another small hug.  "I'll be right back."

            "Oh, take as much time as you need.  She needs you more than I do."

            Remus nodded, and walked through the double doors and into Kaitlynne's room.  

            "Hey, Remus," she whispered.

            "Shhh, don't speak, honey," Remus said, kissing her forehead.

            Kaitlynne nodded and leaned back.  After a few seconds of silence, Kaitlynne spoke up again.  "Remus, I-"

            "Shhh," Remus said quietly.

            "No, I need to tell you something," Kaitlynne said firmly.

            Remus hesitated but finally nodded.  "Make it quick, honey."

            Kaitlynne nodded and looked up at the ceiling for a slight pause.  "Remie, I'm scared," she whispered, as a tear rolled down her cheek.  "What happens if I can't do this?"

            "Oh, honey.  You can.  I know you can and I know _you _know you can.  Just think about it.  In less than forty minutes we're going to have a son.  We're going to be parents.  This is what we've always wanted, honey, and it's finally happened."

            "But…what happens if I'm not okay?"

            Remus stopped short.  "What do you mean?"

            "I mean…what if…what if…what if I…" she trailed off.

            "No, don't think like that, Kaitlynne," Remus scolded, trying to keep strong.  The truth was, he was scared as well and had the same feeling in the bottom of his stomach.  "You're strong and you know it.  You can do this, sweetheart, and I know you want to," he commented, mostly trying to convince himself.

            Kaitlynne hesitated before speaking.  "I love you," she whispered, barely audible.

            Remus got shivers up his back.  The way she said it wasn't the way she said it every day.  It was as if she was telling him to never forget it, even if something went wrong.  It was as if it was reminder.  It was her words of wisdom.  The way she said it made Remus scared and shaken up.  He didn't want to show it, but he knew that he was as scared as he'll ever be.  

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "LILY!" a chorus of voices cried out.

            Lily immediately turned around and saw every single one of her friends rushing towards her.

            "Why didn't you come find us??" James demanded to know.

            "I _tried, but I knew it was a lost cause and I knew Remus needed someone at the moment, so I rushed here instead."_

            "How is he?" Sirius asked.

            "How is _Kaitlynne?" Allie asked._

            "Remus is doing fine; a little shaken up, but he's fine.  Kaitlynne is still…extremely weak and she's still feeling sick, but she's actually in labor," Lily explained.

            They all gasped.  "Is she going to be okay??"

            Lily nodded.  "I think she's going to be fine.  She's a strong woman."

            "I sure hope she's going to be okay," Peter thought out loud.

            "So what happens now?" Josh asked.

            Lily sighed.  "We wait."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            About thirty minutes later, Remus finally walked out into the waiting room, where an awkward silence surrounded the seven impatient adults.

            "Remus!" Savannah suddenly cried, and everyone immediately pushed themselves back into reality.  

            "What happened?"

            "Is Kaitlynne okay?"

            "How are you doing?"

            "Is everything fine?"

            "Did she deliver?"

            Remus smiled weakly and looked around to all of his concerned friends.  "We now have a new son, Landon Oliver Lupin," he said proudly.

            "Oh, I'm so happy for you two!!!" Lily screeched, throwing her arms around his neck.

            "Oh, congratulations!!" they all cried.

            "How's Kaitlynne doing?" Savannah asked.

            Remus hesitated before answering.  "She's been better.  She'll be resting for a long time and I doubt she'll be getting out of the hospital anytime in the next week or so, but I'm sure she'll be fine.  She's just feeling really weak and exhausted and she's somewhat delusional and spaced out.  And her energy and strength is totally drained out of her.  I know you all want to see her but the doctors advised me that she should be left alone for a while."

            Everyone's face clouded over with disappointment, but they all nodded, knowing it was probably for the best.

            "As long as she's okay," Allie said with an understanding smile to Remus.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Mr. Lupin?" Dr. Stevens said ten minutes later.

            Remus turned around.  "Yes?"

            "Can I talk to you privately?" he asked.

            Remus turned to his friends and just said, "I'll be right back."  They all nodded.

            Dr. Stevens led him through the doors to the door in front of Kaitlynne's room and started speaking.  "Mr. Lupin, your son is very healthy and has no medical conditions that we've tested for so far."

            "Oh, that's great," Remus said, beaming.  "How's Kaitlynne doing?  Can I see her?"

            Dr. Stevens sighed and looked intensely into Remus' eyes.  "As you know she has been ill for a while now and has had trouble walking and moving around the room without blacking out, and I'm not sure if she told you this but she's been having trouble breathing as well."

            Remus gasped.  "Is she okay??"

            "Well, she's been very weak and exhausted and giving birth took too much out of her," he continued.

            "Can I see her?" Remus said anxiously.    

            Dr. Stevens bowed his head down.  "Mr. Lupin…she didn't make it."

**A/N: **I think that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to write.  

Please review.


	30. One More Day

**A/N: **I'm back with a very, very, very, very, very, very sad chapter…………………………….

**Disclaimer: **See previous chapters.

MEMORIES 

**CHAPTER 31: One More Day**

**Written by ByeByeBirdie**

            Remus walked into the room where Kaitlynne was sitting peacefully.  The moment he saw her, tears welled up in his eyes and soon they stated flowing down his cheeks, not wanting to stop.

            "Oh, Kaitlynne," Remus cried, as he dropped his head close to hers.  "Why did this have to happen?  I love you so much, Kaitlynne.  I don't deserve this.  This isn't fair to me.  You deserve to live to see your son turn out be a handsome young boy.  Oh, God.  I'm so sorry, Kaitlynne.  I'm so sorry," he whispered.  "I'm going to miss you so much.  I've never loved anyone as much as you and I never will.  You mean the world to me.  You always have."  The tears fell harder down his cheeks and splashed on to Kaitlynne's face as well.  He kissed them away and pushed the few hairs on her face out of the way.  He kissed her on the forehead once more and grabbed her cold, clammy hand.  "I can't say it enough, but I love you _so much and I'll never forget that.  I'll never forget __you.  You might be taken away from me, but your memory will live on.  You changed me and I thank you for that.  Thanks for being my best friend, my lover, and my wife.  I couldn't ask for anyone better."_

**_One more day; one more time_**

**_One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied_**

**_One more smile, one more tear_**

**_One more day left with you here_**

**_One more section; one more part_**

**_One more piece of your little heart_**

**_But then again, I know what it'd all do_**

**_Just leave me wishing still for one more day with you_****__**

            Remus burst into uncontrollable tears at that moment and couldn't stop.  They just kept flowing down his cheeks as he thought about the wonderful life he's been blessed with, with Kaitlynne by his side.  He couldn't remember a time in his life that he was upset with her or angry with her or confused.  She accepted him with arms wide open and now…now those arms have been shut closed.  He had no one now.  His life would be forever empty.  

            He didn't know if he could do it.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Although Remus' eyes were still all splotchy and red, he finally stopped crying and left her room with one final good-bye before walking towards the room where Dr. Stevens was with Landon.

            Remus held Landon and rocked him back and forth.  "It's just you and me now, little buddy," Remus whispered, kissing him on the forehead.  "I love you, you know.  You're all I have left," Remus whispered.  "But we'll make it.  I know we will."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Remus finally walked out into the waiting room where all of his friends were waiting.

            "Remus," Lily said breathlessly, immediately standing up.  "What did the doctor have to tell you?  You were gone for a pretty long time."

            A lump formed in Remus' throat.  "Landon…Landon's in good condition and he's healthier than ever."

            "Oh, that's great," Allie said with a beaming smile.  

            "What about Kaitlynne?" James asked full of concern.  "How's she doing?"

            "Can we see her now?" Allie asked eagerly.

            Just the sound of her name sent a sharp pain straight to Remus' heart, and the tears welled up in his eyes, but he wiped them away quickly, not wanting his friends to see.  He couldn't say anything, due to the lump formed in his throat, so he didn't answer Allie.  He suddenly found great interest in the mud stains on the carpeting on the ground.

            "Remus?" Savannah said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

            "She…" he whispered, forcing it out so that his voice came out scratchy and shakily.  He looked up at all of his friends' concerned faces, and then looked down at the ground and sighed.  He hesitated for a second before finally answering.  "She's gone," he eventually spit out, as the uncontrollable tears slipped down his cheeks once again.

            They all stood there in absolute shock, with no sounds except the sobs coming from Remus' mouth.  

            Finally, Lily leaned in and wrapped her arms around Remus' neck, who wept into Lily's hair soaking it with his tears.  Remus heard Lily eventually break down and felt the wet, cold tears from her eyes on his cheeks.  She squeezed him tighter and realized that she'd never talk to Kaitlynne again.  She'd never laugh, never cry, never even _see her again.  She realized it was the end…they all realized that it would never be the eight of them again.  No more Marauders and Honorary Marauders.  It wasn't fair to Kaitlynne or to Remus or to Landon or to anyone.  She was so young.  She still had a whole lifetime ahead of her.  It just wasn't fair… _

            A second later, Remus felt them all squeezing him and Lily and just knowing that he was with them and he could count on them at any time made him feel a bit better.  But as an image of Kaitlynne floated through his mind, he sobbed harder into Lily's hair, realizing that the last words of Kaitlynne's to him were 'I love you.'

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Honestly, I don't know what to say right now," Remus started at the funeral a few days later solemnly.  "The only thing that really comes to mind is the only thing that ever mattered: I loved her.  I loved her more than anything or anyone.  I loved her more than life itself.  In fact…she _was my life and no one will ever understand how hard it is to stand up here and pretend like my life is going to be move along, because it won't.  It _can't_.  Not without her.  I never thought my life could be as perfect as it was with her in it.  She wasn't just a person.  She was __my person; __my friend; _my_ companion; __my lover…and __my wife.  She was everything to me.  She was a reason for living.  She was _my _reason for living.  I'd wake up in the morning and seeing her made me smile.  Whenever she was there, I was happy.  Whenever she wasn't, I was sad.  She made me who I am today and I don't regret for any second," Remus said with a tiny smile, as a single tear rolled down his cheek.  _

            He continued, "We would be sitting at the dinner table at night and I always asked her to promise that _I would die first just because she deserves a long and happy life and shouldn't let anything stop her from being happy.  She would always laugh it off and tell me that I was crazy to even think about it.  And I never thought I'd be thinking about it.  I was always joking around as well as she was, but today is no joke.  Here I am," Remus trembled.  "And thinking about it makes the situation a whole lot worse," Remus added, as another tears rolled down his cheek…and another…followed by a whole set of irrepressible tears cascaded down his cheeks.  _

            He hesitated, afraid that he might not be able to go on, but he knew he had to…if not for himself, then for Kaitlynne.  "A very wise person once said 'It's better to have loved and lost…than to never have loved at all.'  I'm afraid to admit that it's true.  I loved her with all my heart and I have lost her…but when she passed away, she took my heart with her.  She _is _my heart," Remus trembled.  "And I am forever hers.  Unfortunately, she'll only remain a memory," he choked up.  "Because here I am…on a day that I will never forget.  On a day that I didn't think would come for years.  On a day that…that will change my life forever.  She passed away happily and unfortunately I will not be doing the same.  Because without her in my life…I will never be as happy as I ever was."  

            He took a seat with the rest of his friends, trying hard not to let anyone see him in pain, but the moment Kaitlynne's smile flashed through his mind, tears were slipping down his cheeks like a leaky faucet and there was nothing he could do about it.  He just lost the best thing that has ever happened to him and he didn't know if he could live his life anymore.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Come on, answer the phone, Remus," Lily muttered into her phone as all she could hear was the ringing from the other side for the sixth time.  "Where are you?" she urged.  She waited a few more minutes until it rang for a fourteenth time and finally hung up the phone. 

            "He's still not there," Lily informed everyone else.  They just had Kaitlynne's funeral, on August 8, and James and Lily agreed to have the reception at their house.  Oddly though, Remus left straight after the funeral with Landon and none of them have been able to keep in touch.  It's already been five hours afterwards and all of the relatives and family and friends had left, besides Savannah, Sirius, Allie, Peter, Josh, and the kids—Leigh, Elizabeth, Jenna, and Cole. 

            "He needs us right now," Savannah thought out loud.

            "I can't believe he'd just run off without telling us," James muttered.

            "This is the fifth time he's done it this week," Josh reminded.

            "I know," Allie sighed.  

            "He's not being fair to himself or to anyone else," Sirius pointed out.

            "Where would he go?" Peter wondered.

            "_Why _would he go?" Savannah commented.

            "What would he do?" Allie asked.

            "Why is he always gone for so long?" James wondered.

            "Why doesn't he ever tell us where he goes?" Sirius asked.

            "Why would he worry us like this?" Josh said.

            Lily looked at them for a second.  "You guys, he's hurting.  He just wants some alone time.  He just needs to think about everything and with us surrounding him, it doesn't help any," she said logically.

            They all looked at the sensible thinker of the group and digested her words.  It was true, but they hated knowing it. 

            Allie started, "I just feel so useless."

            "Vain," Savannah agreed.

            "Defenseless," James agreed.

            "Unsupportive," Josh agreed.

            "Worthless," Peter agreed.

            "Ineffectual," Sirius agreed.

            "…_Helpless," Lily finished._

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Two days later, Remus showed up at Savannah and Sirius' house unexpectedly with Landon in his arms.

            "Remus!" Savannah cried, throwing her arms around Remus' neck.

            "Hey Savannah," he said breathlessly.

            "We've all been so worried."

            "Oh, don't be.  I actually came to ask you a favor."

            "Sure, anything," Savannah agreed, a little bewildered why Remus didn't look at all upset about what had happened earlier in the week, but she wasn't about to remind him either.

            "Could you possibly watch Landon for a little while?"

            Savannah should have known that was coming.  That's all Remus had been wanting for the past week: a baby-sitter.  He's been randomly showing up at everyone's homes and asking them to watch Landon for 'a little while.'

            Savannah hesitated before nodding.  "Yeah, I'd love to.  But are you sure you don't want to come in for a bit and sit down and relax?"

            "No, I'm actually late for work now," Remus protested.

            Savannah couldn't help but think that Remus shouldn't be putting work ahead of his feelings, but she didn't want to say anything.  "Are you sure you don't want to come in?"

            "Yeah, but thanks anyway. Tell Sirius I say hi."

            Savannah nodded.  "Okay."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            The next day, Remus showed up on their doorsteps early in the morning.  "God, I'm so sorry that I left him here with you for so long.  Work took much longer than expected…and I had a lot of thinking to do."

            "It's no problem, Remus," Sirius assured.  "He was a great kid and not that hard to take care of."

            "Really?  Well, I'm glad."

            "Besides, you've got a lot on your mind and you have every right to leave him here at our house for as long as you need to," Sirius continued.

            Remus nodded, as a huge lump formed in his throat.  "Landon helps with everything, though.  He reminds me of Kaitlynne in every way—he has her eyes and her mouth and he's always so cheerful.  He also gets my mind off of her for a while and listens carefully when I talk about her…which may be because he can't talk-" Sirius and Remus chuckled, "-but it's still nice."

            Sirius nodded sympathetically.  "Listen, Remus, you know we're all here for you and that we'd always listen when you talk."

            Remus swallowed hard and nodded.  "I-I know, but it's different.  I mean, I'm trying to forget everything and seeing you all and talking to you all just makes it hurt even more."

**_I haven't been staying' high_**

**_And I've been feeling sorry for myself_**

**_And I've been resurrecting my fortress to protect myself_**

            Sirius looked at him with a surprised look.  "Remus, you don't _have _to forget her.  No one expects you to and _you shouldn't expect yourself to."_

            Remus nodded with a lump in his throat.  "Sirius…it just hurts so much.  I go home and realize I'm never going to walk into the kitchen with a nice dinner on the table again and I'm never going to walk over to her, thank her, and give her a kiss ever again, and I'm never going to have our long, _fun talks we had at dinner __ever again.  Everything's going to change…and I hate it.  And it's just easier to try and forget."_

            "Remus, don't try and forget. She'll _always_ be a memory, therefore you can't forget.  The only thing you have to try and do, is get some closure."

            "I-I don't want it."

            "I know," Sirius said, looking him directly in the eye.

            Remus shut his eyes for a second and fluttered them open.  "I-I'm going to miss her so much."

            "We all are," Sirius said gently.  

**_Shattered_**

**_Tired, beaten, worn down and tattered_**

**_Can you hear me?_**

**_What do you expect out of me?_**

**_I've been buried alive and screaming_**

**_Can't you see?  _**

            Remus nodded and looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms.  "Thanks for listening, Sirius, but I've got to be heading home."

            Sirius nodded, afraid that he was just running from the truth, but he didn't say anything.  "Okay."

            "Listen, thanks again for watching Landon.  And I'll see you around," Remus said and he left.

            Savannah came up behind Sirius.  "Hey, honey, I'm heading to Diagon Alley for some shopping if that's okay with you."

            Sirius nodded.  "That's fine.  Are you going to take Elizabeth or Leigh with you?"

            Savannah paused.  "Maybe I'll take Leigh with me."

            "Why, so you can get all the hotties looking your way with the adorable baby?" Sirius joked with a wink.

            "Nah, I've already got my hottie," Savannah teased.  "Hmmm…I wonder where James is right now anyway."

            They both laughed.  "Are you having an affair?" Sirius said with a fake hurt expression on his face.

            "I might be."

            "I'm not satisfying enough?"

            "Does _Leigh _answer that question??"

            They both laughed, and Sirius kissed her.

            "Can you take care of Elizabeth for a while?" Savannah asked.

            Sirius nodded and gave her another big kiss.  "That will be fine."

            "Great.  Thanks, hon," Savannah said. "And be careful with her!!  She's starting to realize that green crayon writes on walls."

            Sirius laughed.  "What about the red crayons?  You can't forget those!"

            Savannah laughed.  "Okay, well _you can join in with the red crayons, and the blue ones if you like, because you're the one who will be cleaning it up."_

            He laughed.  "I'll watch her carefully.  Have fun, sweetheart."

            "I love you, honey."

            "I love you, too," Sirius said, winking at her.  "And I wuv you too, you cute wittle baby Leigh," Sirius said, giving his youngest daughter butterfly kisses.  Luckily Leigh didn't notice, because she was asleep, or she might have started to yelp as Savannah grinned.  She knew Sirius would make the perfect father…and he was.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "_Lily?" Savannah said with a surprised look n her face, seeing her in the Owl Post Office about two hours later._

            "Savannah?" she cried, surprised.  "What are you doing here?"

            "Getting Sirius' Joke Shop mail.  What about you?"

            "I'm actually just picking up the _Daily Prophet _pre-approved bundle sent here so Maya can give it a look-over and make her final decisions."

            "Oh, okay.  So, have you eaten lunch, yet?" 

            "Actually, no.  I was just about to ask you the same question.  Would you like to join me at Fruitfly?"

            "Sounds good, but I have to make a stop at Gringott's to withdraw some more money.  But you go ahead and get us a table because I'm sure it's probably crowded about now."

            Lily nodded.  "Okay, I'll see you in about twenty minutes, then." She walked towards Fruitfly, a great restaurant that had nice waiters and very fast service.

            "Three, please," Lily said to the maitre'd.  "And a kid's booster seat."

            Five minutes after she was led to a table there was a _loud, shatteringcommotion and the windows of the restaurant shattered and crumbled to the floor, hitting Lily with a piece of glass.  Lily brought her hand to her face and realized it had cut her cheek.  She stood there in shock, wondering what had happened._

            Everyone ran to the open windows, as well as Lily, and Lily immediately gasped and simultaneously forgot about the gash in her cheek. 

            Gringotts Bank was nothing but a shattered, damaged, collapsed pile of stone in the middle of Diagon Alley now.  

            Lily started trembling, realizing Savannah was inside.  She jumped out of the window and on to the street, but instead of following the crowd who was rushing towards the Leaky Cauldron and outside Diagon Alley, she ran towards the bank. She already realized that a bunch of wizard patrolmen and policemen and firemen were at the scene of the crime.  _Wow, they're fast…_ Lily couldn't help but think.  But they always got the call as soon as an accident has happened and apparating didn't take long at all.

            She stood barely five yards away from the scene of the crime, just standing there, not being able to move.  She couldn't help but think that the bank was nothing now.  It literally was…_nothing_.  A few minutes later, after the shock sunk in, Lily started climbing over tons of debris towards the entrance to the underground railway, but a policeman stopped her.

            "Ma'am, you can't go in there.  Only authorized personnel.  I'm sorry."

            "But…no…my friend…no…why…what..." Lily stuttered, all of her thoughts jumbling into one sentence.

            "I'm sorry, Miss," he repeated looking at his clipboard, obviously _not that sorry._

            Lily finally got her thoughts sorted out and grabbed the man's arm.  "What happened?"

            The man looked at her and sighed.  "Voldemort struck again."

            Lily gasped and brought her hands to her mouth.  "But…_how_?"

            The man gave her a once-over and hesitated before answering.  "That's personal information."

            "No, please.  My friend and her daughter were in there!!  I _need to know what happened!  Please, sir!" she begged._

            "I'm sorry, miss."

            "Look, _officer_," Lily said harshly.  "My friend's husband is at home thinking that she's going to do some shopping, eat lunch, spend some time with her _three week old baby, and then come home!!!  I don't think he thought about a building blowing up with his _wife inside_!!!  So, with all do respect, __please just tell me what happened before I go absolutely crazy!!" she yelled._

            He stepped back a bit.  "Fine, but I'm only going to tell you the basics.  Because as an officer, I-"

            "Just get on with it!!" Lily cried.

            The officer stepped back a little more, afraid that Lily would hit him or something. "Um…well, so far, seven bombs have been found in the building…and they've all been fired off."

            "Bombs??"

            "Yes, Miss."

            "But…but…what about the people?  The goblins?"

            The man looked at her as if she was growing two extra heads.  "I'm sorry, but anyone inside the building at the time didn't make it out in time.  I'm sorry about your friend and her daughter, but if the blow didn't hit them…then they suffocated from smoke and the collapsing of the buildings."

**A/N: I change my mind.  _That _was the hardest chapter……I think Savannah was my favorite character in this story, and I hated knowing that she had to die.  I know it's just a story, but I can't help but feel depressed…..**

Anyway, those songs were: "One More Day," by Lonestar and "Fortress" by Sister Hazel.


	31. GoodBye To You

**A/N: **Yay, I'm back and I'm updating.  With college applications done and nothing to do after school, I'll have time to do more.  Yay.  Be happy.  Unfortunately, more sad things will be coming up………….

**Disclaimer: **You know how this does.  Just see previous chapters.

MEMORIES 

**CHAPTER 32: Good-bye To You**

**Written by ByeByeBirdie**

            Lily froze in absolute terror, not wanting to believe it.  She refused to believe that her best friend was down there…dead.  She refused to believe that in the past week, two of her best friends had passed away.  A single tear rolled down her cheek…and then another.  And then a bunch fell down her cheeks and she stood in the streets of Diagon Alley alone and solitary, sobbing.

            _It can't be, Lily thought.  _I just saw her five minutes ago!!  She has to be alive!!  It's not fair!!__

_            Lily brought her hands to her face and sunk herself down to the concrete.  "No…no…it can't be…no," Lily repeated wearily. _

            But it had happened.  Her best friend and the baby had just died…and there was nothing she could do about it.

            And she knew what she had to do…only, she didn't think Sirius would take it half as well as she did.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Good work, Wormtail…and on the same day his mother died," Voldemort cackled with an evil grin.  "This is all better than I though it would turn out to be."

            "Yessss, ssssir."

            "We have to make them suffer before we go in and kill them and their ugly baby."

            "Then what now, Massssster?"

            "We shall play a little game with them.  We see how many people are related to them and their little friends and then we kill them _all_!!" Voldemort cackled.  "Mwahahahaha!"

            "It sssssoundsssss like a good plan!"

            "It _is _a good plan, Wormtail!" Voldemort cried.  "_James Potter _will be mine one day and I can't wait until that day comes.  He's ruined me for the past five years!!!  _He's ruined everything I've ever done!!  He's sent all of my assistants to Azkaban and his little bitch of a wife gives him all of my information that he needs!!   THEY DESERVE TO DIE FOR IT_ _…**AND THEY WILL**_!!" 

            Wormtail backed up a bit as Voldemort slowly, and angrily, crept closer to him.  "Yessss, sssssir.  And I will help you."

            "You're all I have left, Wormtail.  Don't let me down," Voldemort warned.

            "Yessss, Masssster."

            "Just keep giving me information.  This is what I need and you're the only person who can help me."

            "Yesssss, Lord."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

             _Knock, knock.  _Sirius was sitting in the living room browsing over an order form that was in his hand and comparing it to a box he has just received, when he heard the slow, steady knock on the front door.  He turned to look at Elizabeth, who was happily playing on the floor with her toys, and stood up to answer the door.

            "Lily?" Sirius said, surprised that Lily was there at the moment.  "Hey, what are you doing here?

            Lily didn't answer him and stood there with a stiff, rigid expression on her face with obvious pain shown.

            "Lily? Are you okay?" Sirius said, full of concern as he practically ran by her side and put his arm on her shoulder.

            Tears brimmed in Lily's eyelids and she took a deep breath in and out as she closed her eyes for a second before they fluttered open.

            "What happened to your cheek?" Sirius said, brushing over the wound.

            Lily brought her hand to it, forgetting that it had happened, but it didn't seem to matter to her anymore.

            "Lily…" Sirius drew out, getting a little scared.

            Lily took another deep breath and turned towards Sirius' eyes.  She opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times before clamping her mouth shut, afraid of what was going to come out.

            "Lily…" Sirius warned forcefully.  "What's wrong??" he demanded.  "You're really scaring me."

            Lily finally began to talk.  "I-I was in Diagon Alley today."

            "Oh…Savannah was there," Sirius thought out loud.

            Lily nodded, trying not to cry.  "I know."

            "Oh, did you see her?"

            That was it.  Lily broke down into uncontrollable sobs as she threw her arms around Sirius' neck.  She didn't know how to tell him.  She hated being the one that had to do it. 

            Sirius paused before putting his arms around her waist, as he tried to understand what she was driving at.  "What happened?"

            Lily didn't answer straight away and instead continued to bawl into Sirius' hair.  She gripped tighter on to Sirius and thought about Savannah out there in the middle of the afternoon…dead on the floor somewhere.  It just wasn't fair at all.  Savannah was planning on going into Diagon Alley, hanging out for a little, do her shopping, get some money, get the mail, and return home to her loving family…especially her husband.  Death was not on her agenda today, and it sure wasn't a thought in Sirius' mind. 

            "Lily?"

            Lily sighed.  "Voldemort blew up Gringott's Bank today…with seven bombs," Lily finally spoke.  "Maybe more."

            "Oh, my God!!" Sirius cried, absolutely outraged.  "But…but how?  When?  Why?"

            "I-I don't know," Lily said shakily.

            "Are you okay?"

            Lily found the courage to shrug.  "No…"

            He held on to her tightly but didn't say anything immediately.  He hesitated before speaking.  "That doesn't sound good…" 

            Lily squeezed her eyes tight, still with her arms around Sirius' neck and shoulders.  

            "Where are Savannah and Leigh?  Are they alright?" Sirius asked shakily.

            Lily trembled in fear, afraid to give Sirius the bad news herself.  She didn't know what to do or say at that point.  She didn't want to let Sirius down but she was filled with too much guilt at the thought of not telling Sirius the truth.  

            "Lily…please tell me what's wrong……….." Sirius said slowly, stroking her back adoringly.  "You're really scaring me, Lils…"

            Lily sobbed even more into his jet-black, straight hair.  "Sirius…" Lily started quietly.

            "Yes…?" he drew out, wondering what the heck was going on. 

            Lily took a deep breath in and out and as she thought about her next words, the tears fell harder and faster.  Harder than she ever thought was possible.  Faster than anyone could ever have imagined.  Tears for her best friend.  Tears for Leigh.  Tears for Sirius.  Tears for her friends and her.  Tears for life.  Tears for…death.  "Savannah and Leigh were inside Gringotts, Si." 

            Sirius literally froze and _now _he knew what could be the worst possible scenario.  Lily could feel his grip lessen and when she looked up, she saw him staring at the ground with wide eyes and his lip was trembling.  He eventually lifted his eyes and looked directly into Lily's eyes.

            "A-Are th-they…are…are they…" he stuttered, "A-Are th-they o-okay?" he trembled in fear, already knowing the answer. 

            She gave him one of the most tortured looks that she had ever given him and contorted her face with more sadness and more misery.  The look on his face was pain enough for her to break down again.  "I-I'm so sorry," she whispered.

            Before he or she knew what was happening, he was screaming.  "_NOOOOOOO!_" he shouted into the musty afternoon air as he brought his hands to his face and literally dropped to the floor sobbing into the palms of his hands.  A few seconds later, he felt Lily drop to the porch beside him and drape her arm around his shoulders.  She bawled even more, more for Sirius than just Savannah and Leigh.  She knew she'd never feel all of the pain he was going through, but she had an empty spot in her heart now…and it kept getting worse every time she looked up and saw the damp tears, stained on Sirius' cheeks.

            "It's not fair," he whispered.

            Lily choked up and didn't know what to say.  She looked up at him again and the tears just started falling naturally.  She didn't even realize she was soaking his shirt with her tears until she picked up her head again.  

            Lily and Sirius sat there for a good twenty minutes, saying nothing.  Just staying in a tight hug, sobbing into each other's clothes and hair, realizing that they'd never even see Savannah or Leigh again.

            Eventually, Sirius had the courage to pull away from Lily.  "Why did he have to do this?  Why to me?  Why _now?" Sirius wondered out loud._

            And then it hit her.  The words of Dumbledore when he came to visit her in the hospital with Harry.   _I also want to warn you two to watch your family and friends.  Voldemort has a way of torturing certain wizards and witches by murdering people quite close to them…_ he had said.

            Lily stared at the ground for a few seconds in absolute terror and brought her hands to her mouth in fear.  She opened her mouth to speak to Sirius, but closed it quickly when she saw the look on his face.  She couldn't tell him.  She couldn't hurt him even more.  She had to hold back…she was too afraid of what Sirius might do.  So she tried to shake it off the best she could…

            She didn't want to admit that it was her fault.

            "Oh, Sirius," she moaned.  "I'm so sorry.  I…I…I don't know what to say."

            He nodded, as if to agree.  "I just want her back.  I want her to walk up this walkway with my daughter in her hands with that big smile she _always has on her face.  I want to see her one last time.  I want to feel her.  I want…I just want her back, Lily!!" he whined.___

            "Shhh, it's okay," Lily soothed, giving him another hug.  "These things take time, Sirius.  I don't expect anything from you any time soon.  Just remember I'm always here to talk.  I want you to come talk to me if you need to."

            Sirius nodded.  "Yeah," he agreed.  "It hasn't sunk in, yet.  It won't until tonight when I realize there won't be another warm body beside me in bed," he thought out loud.  "She…she's gone," he whispered into the cloudy, putrid air.

            When Lily was able to glance up at Sirius, she knew that he was unbearably depressed.  And there was nothing she could do to make it better.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Sirius didn't even show up for the funeral the next day.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Sirius!!" Lily yelled after the fifth knock an hour after the funeral, when she was able to sneak away from the reception at her house.  "Answer this door this instant!!!"

            Still no answer.

            "Come on, Sirius!!  I know you're in there!"

            Still no answer.

            "**_SIRIUS BLACK_**!!!!" Lily cried once again with a louder knock.

            "Yilly!" a tiny voice said from behind.

            Lily whirled around.  "Elizabeth??  What are you doing outside??"

            "Excuse me?" a quiet voice said from behind the bushes next door.

            Lily looked and saw Daniella Suaven, his neighbor, standing there.  "Daniella?" Lily questioned.

            "Lily??" she cried, sounding surprised.

            "Yeah…um…hi.  How have you been doing?"

            Daniella smiled.  "I've been fine.  And I couldn't help but overhear your…perpetual shoutings for Sirius."

            Lily blushed.  "I…I just really needed to talk to him," she explained. 

            "I hope it's nothing too severe," she said, full of concern.

            Lily sighed.  "Oh…I guess he hadn't told you or _anyone _at that matter, but…but his wife died yesterday," she said, choking up a bit.

            "Oh, my God," Daniella gasped.  "I…I don't know what to say.  She was such a sweetheart.  Always stopping to chat or whatnot every morning when we'd leave for work.  She was such a wonderful person.  I'm so sorry," Daniella said gravely.

            Lily gave her a weak smile.  "Thank you.  And I think Sirius might need to hear that," Lily said full of sorrow.  "And, well…I haven't been able to get a hold of Sirius since I saw him yesterday afternoon and I'm getting worried."

            "Well, he just left about ten minutes to go somewhere and left me to watch Elizabeth," Daniella explained.

            Lily paused.  "Oh.  Thanks," she said, confused.  _Where would he have to go at a time like this?? _Lily thought angrily.  _Maybe Sirius might not feel the need to be at the funeral but he could have gone for his wife and baby!!  Wait…_    And then it hit her.

            "I know where he is," she muttered.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Sirius' tears fell on to Savannah's clean headstone.  "Why you?  Why me?  It's just not fair," he sobbed.  "I love you so much, Savannah, and I'll never forget that," he said, bawling into his hands.  "It's not fair…it's just not fair.  I'm not sure if it's possible, but every day as I woke up and saw you sleeping right beside me, I fell in love with you all over again.  And now I can't do that anymore.  I love you, Savannah.  I love you so much it hurts.  Or maybe it's just the fact that I will never see you ever again," he said painfully.  "Maybe _that's _what hurts so much…That _is _what hurts so much."  

            He continued, crying harder, "Why did this have to happen?  And to _me?  I don't deserve this.  There's no way I'll ever be able to get over you.  I'll never forget you and I'll never let go of you.  As long as you're gone, _I'm _gone.  I've lost you…and I've lost __everything.  _You _were my everything.  It just seems that nothing matters anymore…no, nothing __does matter anymore."_

            "The first time I saw you, I never thought we could ever be friends, let alone husband and wife.  But as we grew up, I felt something for you I didn't think was possible.  And from that day, I knew I had loved you…and I always would.  And it remained like that for the next eighteen years.  We've been through rough times, and we've always been able to get through them…but this is different.  Because I know I'll never be able to be your friend again…or your boyfriend…or your husband.  And that's what kills the most inside. Knowing I'll never hold you into my arms again.  Knowing that I'll never kiss you again or hug you again or even _touch _you again.  Knowing that I'll never be able to even _speak to you again or hear your voice again. Knowing that…that we're finally _over_."_

**_Good-bye to you_**

**_Good-bye to everything I thought I knew_**

**_You were the one I loved_**

**_The one thing I tried to hold on to_**

            "I don't want to have to say good-bye.  I know I have to at some point, I just don't want it to be now…today.  I've already said it once in my lifetime and it hurt so much.  It was unbearable and then I knew you were still out there.  Now…you're _not.  I'm too afraid to say good-bye.  I'm afraid that once I say it…it's final.  And I don't want it to be.  It's just…not fair.  There are no other two words to describe this empty feeling in my heart.  Without you and Leigh in my life…my heart isn't worth anything anymore."_

            He paused and rubbed his finger over the shiny engraving of her tombstone, realizing that the only reason he was talking was just so that he didn't have to hear the silence.  "And Leigh was only a few weeks old.  She didn't even have a chance to see anything.  It's not fair.  I have lost two of the most important people to me…on the same day and-"

            "Sirius," a voice whispered from behind him.

            Sirius froze when he heard his name being called and didn't even turn around.

            "Sirius," Lily repeated, walking closer to him.

            Sirius turned his head in the opposite direction, as the tears fell harder down his cheeks and splashed into the grass.  He put his head into his hands and wept like a five-year-old.

            "I'm so sorry," Lily whispered, kneeling beside him and putting her hand on his shoulder.

            Sirius didn't answer her and Lily figured he wouldn't, but just seeing him in this much pain, made the tears well up in her eyes.

            "We're here for you, Sirius," Lily whispered.  "We always are."

            Sirius barely gave her a nod, without even look over at her.  He didn't want to let Lily see how much pain he was in and how much he had just lost.  But somehow…he had guessed that she already knew.

            "I never even had a chance to say good-bye," he whispered.

            Lily looked up at him with a surprised look on her face.  She didn't expect him to say anything.  "No one did," Lily whispered back.

            Sirius closed his eyes, and a picture of Savannah filled his mind.  Her memories came flooding back and he could hear her voice…see her smile…smell her perfume.  It was almost as if she were there.  He sobbed even harder, thinking of her.  His life was crumbling slowly and the memory of Savannah would always live on in his mind…in his heart…in his _soul_.  Nothing could take her memory away…but he wish that nothing could have taken _her from him since the beginning._

            "There's no point," he said, barely audible.

            Lily gave him a blank and confused look.  "To what?"

            "To _anything_.  To _everything.  To life…  The two most important people to me just died…on the same day.  Nothing's ever going to matter anymore. It hurts too much and I don't know how to handle it," Sirius said, as Lily drew him closer to her._

            "Shhhh, it's going to be okay.  There are so many people in this world who care about you, Sirius, and that's not going to change.  I know it hurts and I know it's going to take time.  You're not going to forget her, Sirius.  You just have to learn how to let go."

            "I can't…I'm too afraid.  I…I don't _want to."_

            "I know," Lily answered, as a few tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked over Sirius' head, on her shoulders, and ended up looking at the gravestones of Leigh and of Savannah.  "I know."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Professor?" a voice said, peeking her head into Dumbledore's office.

            "Why, I wasn't expecting you, Minerva!"

            "I know, but I have important, and depressing, new for you," she replied sternly.

            "What is it now?" he asked, full of concern, looking up from the letters on his desk.

            "It's Voldemort."

            "_What?  I thought he was finally pulling back!  I thought we stopped him in Cambodia two months ago."_

            "He has struck again," she said solemnly.

            "Where?  When?  How?  _Why?"_

            "Yesterday afternoon in Diagon Alley.  Nine bombs were found in the entirety and seven had been shot off," Professor McGonnagal explained with a grave and earnest expression on her face.  "No one in the building or the underground rail lines survived.  Either the blow had instantly killed them or…or they suffocated."

            "Who was inside?"

            "Luckily, it was a Wednesday so it wasn't very busy.  But Professor Wiggins was inside, President of the Dark Arts Association Against Crime and Purity, Council Bernadette Cortette, Ministry Advisor Tora Devry, the Foreign Minister of Mexico Andres Lopez, and a bunch of former students."

            Dumbledore sighed, and immediately packed up the letters and stood up abruptly.  "Any suspicions as to why he did it?"

            "No, and he hasn't been spotted since.  Nothing has happened since."

            Dumbledore sighed again and started walking towards the door.  "I've got to get to the Ministry now, so please take care of things around here."

            "Yes, sir."

            Dumbledore opened the door, but stopped to think about something for a second.  He turned around slowly to Professor McGonnagal and opened his mouth to speak, but closed it.

            "Yes, Professor?"

            "Um…were any of the deceased related to the Potters in any way?"

            Professor McGonnagal was taken aback by his question.  "Wh-what?"

            "I know it's an odd question, but I need to know if this is of any relevance to another predicament that I happen to know about."

            "Well…er…Savannah Black and her daughter, Leigh, were inside and a distant cousin of Lily Potter, Trisha McEntire," Professor McGonnagal replied with obvious confusion as she bowed her head down in grief.

            Dumbledore didn't say anything as he heard the name of Savannah Black being listed and turned his attention to the ground.  He knew it was related, but he wasn't about to say it out loud.  "Thank you," he sighed.  He turned towards the window and said a silent prayer for everyone relating to the Potters.  He knew they were in danger…but he wasn't sure how to help them. 

**A/N: I'm not sure if this story could get any sadder………………….. "Good-bye To You", is by Michelle Branch.  **


	32. The Causes

**A/N: **I know it's been a while, but with the holidays, it's been very stressful.  However, now I'm ready to update and get this story finished!  Yay!!  Oh, and by the way, this story will probably not get any happier so beware.  I'm warning you now, GRAB A BOX OF TISSUES!

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill.  Just see previous chapters.

MEMORIES 

**CHAPTER 33: The Causes **

**Written by ByeByeBirdie **

            Sirius was, yet again, wallowing in self-pity watching _When Harry Met Sally, bawling his eyes out.  And not necessarily for the movie; mostly just for himself and Savannah and Leigh._

            _Knock, knock._

            Sirius turned his head abruptly towards the door.  He wasn't sure what was going on in his mind.  Just the thought that maybe it could be Savannah floated through the back of his mind.  He wasn't sure why…or how, but the thought definitely crossed his mind.

            He stood up slowly and leisurely and went to open the door tediously.  

            "Hi," the person said.

            Instead of happiness, Sirius was filled with anger and frustration.  "What are you doing here?" he said, through gritted teeth.

            "You weren't at the funeral."

            "No shit, Sherlock."

            "Sirius, I just needed to talk to you again."

            "Well, I don't want to talk to you."

            "I know.  But I'm not leaving until you listen to me."

            "Dad, you're the last person I want standing at this door right now.  And the one person I _want to be standing there will _never _stand there again!!!!!" Sirius cried.  "_Because she died!!"__

            "I'm so sorry, Sirius."

            "Are you??" he asked angrily.

            "Of course I am!!"

            "How can _you _be sorry that one of the closest persons that I have ever known is now _gone…when another one of the most important people to me in my life died _because of you_?"_

            "Sirius, I didn't come here to be yelled at."

            "Then why'd you come here in the first place?"

            "Because even though you don't want to believe it, I _do love you.  You're my _son_, Sirius, and I will never forget that."_

            Sirius' nose flared and his eyes narrowed as he clenched his fists together.  "Yeah, but unfortunately for _you, I have forgotten that __you are my father."_

            Silas Black stared back at Sirius expressionless.  Sirius knew that he had hurt him, but he also knew that Silas deserved it.  

            "Sirius, I feel completely responsible," Silas finally spoke.

            "For what?" Sirius spat.

            Silas sighed.  "For Savannah's death."

            "_What?" Sirius cried out. _

            "Well…today is the day that…" Silas said, trailing off, bowing his head in shame.

            Then it hit Sirius.  Fifteen years earlier, _on the day of __Savannah__'s death as well…August 11, his mother died. _SAME DAMN DAY!! _Sirius couldn't help but think._

            Coincidence?  Sirius didn't think so.  Sirius has never been as angry as he was right then and there looking into the eyes of not only his father…but a murderer, as well.  

            Sirius didn't even know what to say.  His whole body started to tremble and shake and memories of his mother flood back to him.  

**~ ~ ~ ~ F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            "James called, Mom!" Sirius shouted up the stairs.  "I'm heading over to his house for a while.  I'll be back in a few hours or so," Sirius said, grabbing a cookie before heading into the dining room to use Floo Powder.

            "Are you sure?  I'm going shoe shopping, if you'd rather come along and do that," Francesca Black teased her son trampling down the stairs.

            "Mo-_om_!" Sirius complained.

            "Or flower hunting?"

            "MOM!"

            "No?  Are you sure?  You can always change your mind."

            "Can I just leave before you start dressing me up like a doll or something?"

            She threw back her head and laughed.  "Fine, but grab a sweater.  It's supposed to rain later."

            "_Mom," he whined.  "I'll be fine."_

            "I know you two will be mostly playing Quidditch, and if it gets cold you're going to remember this moment where I told you to get a sweater…and then an hour later the moment where I say 'I told you so!'"

            Sirius had to laugh.  "Fine, fine.  But once I do, will you shut up?"

            She grinned.  "Yes."

            Sirius jumped the stairs by twos and threw open his closet door to rummage around for a _clean _sweater.  When he didn't spot one, he went straight to his floor for all of the dirty ones and grabbed a rather rugged-looking sweater.  He started down the stairs when suddenly he heard the door fling open.  He stopped running and slowly crept down the stairs, when suddenly he heard his mother scream.

            "Mom?" he said, bewildered, rushing down the stairs again.

            "Silas, what are you doing here!?" she cried, full of fear.

            "I came to do my duty for my master."

            Suddenly a black-cloaked figured swooped into the room and Sirius felt a shiver run from his neck all the way down his back.

            "Move aside, Silas," the figure said icily.

            Sirius gasped as the person's head turned his way and he instantly recognized his father.

            Voldemort slowly and silently raised his wand above his head, but Sirius jumped the last four stairs and ran towards his mother.  "NO!!  You can't do this!"

            "Move aside, boy!  I don't want you!"

            "I don't care!  If you want _her, you'll have to take me as well!!"_

            "No, Sirius," his mother strained.  "You're too young.  Let nature take its course."

            "Sirius, move," his father said firmly.

            "Do something!!" Sirius screamed at his father.

            "I _am_ doing something," he replied in a low, deep, stern voice.

            "No, this was your wife!!  Doesn't that mean anything!?!?  _Don't let this happen!!  Don't just stand there!!!!" Sirius shrieked._

            "MOVE AWAY, BOY!!" Voldemort screamed loudly.

            "No!  I _won't_!  I ref-"

            "_Peteramica__ Duralus!" Silas cried as a streak of orange light filled the air and levitated Sirius into the air and smashed him into the kitchen's table._

            "_Avada__ Kedavra," an icy, deep, scratchy voice hissed out slowly and evilly._

            This time a stronger streak of light filled the air, but this time with a blinding green light, and then smoke started filling up.  Sirius coughed a few times and tried to brush away the smoke.  Two seconds later, there was a better view of the room.

            Sirius stood up abruptly and saw that the front door was still creaking after the departure of Voldemort and Silas.  

            Sirius looked towards the ground and his heart stopped beating.  For in the center of the room, lay his mother, motionless…and dead.

            "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Sirius cried out in agony, rushing to his mother's side.  But he knew it was over.  He knew that Voldemort had just killed his mother and his father didn't do anything to stop him.

            Before Sirius knew what he was doing, he ran upstairs and grabbed his broom, flying into the air under James' Invisibility Cloak and to somewhere far away to wallow in self-pity.  He didn't want to be anywhere near the scene of the crime.  He didn't want to be there if Voldemort came back.  He just…he just wanted his mother back. 

**~ ~ ~ ~ E N D   O F    F L A S H B A C K ~ ~ ~ ~**

            "You did this," Sirius scolded icily with a deep, coarse voice, as he instantly narrowed his eyes and an irate expression set like stone on his face.  If looks could kill, Silas would have been dead on the floor in seconds.

            "No, Sirius, I-"

            "Get out," Sirius said with a raspy voice as he gritted his teeth together.

            "Sirius, please," Silas pleaded.  "I-"

            "No, you have no right speaking to me.  You have killed off _three _of the most important people to me and now I have _no one_.  If I weren't as nice of a person as I am, I would probably kill you right now.  I-I don't know what else to say, _Dad.  You…you…ARGH!!!  Besides the fact that you aggravate me beyond belief, you've ruined my life."_

            "Sirius, don't do this."

            "Don't do what?  Tell the _truth!?"_

            "No…torment _me_ and the reason I have come here.  I came to say that I never in any way meant to hurt you and I wish that I never left you or Francesca.  I wish I had never turned over to the dark side.  I wish I could take it all back."

            "But you can't…_no__ one can!!  And now, LOOK WHAT YOUV'E DONE__!? Look what you've done to Mom, my wife and my child!!  LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO **ME!!  You can't take back anything that's ever happened and now my whole life is empty.  I have _nothing_.  I'm useless.  I'm a waste of breath.  I'm a waste of _time_.     My whole **__life has been a waste of time.  I feel like I cannot go on living, _Dad_.  The three most important people to me on the face of the earth are _never _coming back and you know why?" Sirius said, getting even angrier that he was, if that was even possible.  "_Because of you_!!!  It's all your fault, Dad.  _Everything _is _always_ your fault.  I wish you were never born.  I wish I never set eyes on you.  I wish…I wish that __you were the one dead," Sirius said evilly, as an unshed pool of tears lay secretly in the bottoms of his eyelids.  And secretly, he wished that he was never born.  He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his body and he would remain emotionless for the rest of his life and Sirius didn't know what to do.  He was trapped.   _

            "There's nothing you or anyone can do now, Dad," Sirius continued, surprisingly somewhat calm.  Maybe it was because he was finally realizing that Savannah was _never coming back.  Maybe it was just because he knew it was over.  Maybe it was because he knew he had to get over her.  Maybe it was because the man standing in front of him deserved to die.  Maybe it was because he was realizing that his Dad was worth nothing…and always had been worth _nothing_.  Maybe it was just because it was true…that nothing could do anything to bring back the most important people to him.  Or maybe…_maybe _it was simply _everything_.  Maybe it was just all of it._

            "Get out of my house, Dad…in fact, just get out of my life."

            "You're never going to forgive me, are you?"

            "How _could _I!?  Look what you've done to me!!"

            "I'm sor-"

            "Don't say sorry," Sirius warned.  "Don't pity me…pity yourself.  Now, I'm not going to say it again.  _Get out of my house."_

_            Silas sighed.  "Sirius-"_

            "You don't get it, do you??" Sirius cried angrily.

            "I'm just trying to talk to you!"

            "And I already said I didn't want to talk to you!!  And _now _I _never want to talk to you again!!! ,"_

            Silas sighed and looked down at his son.  "Fine, Sirius, but you'll regret this."

            "No I won't.  Because I'm doing the right thing," Sirius responded, as he instantly slammed the door in his father's face.  Sirius leaned his head against the door and the tears just started filling up and started falling down.  It wasn't fair that because of _his father, Sirius was doing all of the suffering.  It wasn't fair…__nothing was fair._

            He slowly slid down to the floor with his head in his hands as he sobbed harder than he _ever _cried before.  "_WHY!?!" Sirius shouted unexpectedly.  "__WHY ME!?!?_  WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!?"  _Sirius yelled as he threw a random shoe at the wall across from him.  He started pounding on the floor to the beat of his pounding heart to express his anger as well as he could.  And for next forty minutes, Sirius sat right there sobbing into his hands crouched on the floors…until Elizabeth started crying and Sirius knew he had to get over it.  Get over __her.  Unfortunately…he didn't know if he could. _

            He walked groggily up the stairs to Elizabeth's room and took a long look at her. 

            Elizabeth was only three years old, but every time Sirius looked at her he was reminded of Savannah when she was only eleven…and twelve…and thirteen…  They were so much alike.  They even looked _exactly alike.  They both had the blue eyes and the honey blonde hair.  Both were always getting into trouble and had the most adorable smile he's even seen.  But most of all…they had the same high-pitched giggly laugh that Sirius fell in love with at first sight._

            "Where's mommy?" Elizabeth asked, right before Sirius walked over to her.

            Sirius looked at her abruptly with a pained expression shown on his face.  "She…she's not here," he whispered hoarsely.

            "Why not?"

            Sirius didn't say anything for a little while.  "Because…not everything in life can be fair."

            "Is she coming back?"

            Sirius gave Elizabeth a sweet, cute smile as he looked over on to the wall where a picture of the three of them remained…he only wished that Leigh could have been a part of that as well.  "No," he replied gaspingly.

            "Why not?  Does she love us no more?" 

            Sirius shook his head painfully.  "No, it's not that, my Lizzie.  It's…it's just nature taking its course.  Mommy will be gone for a long while."

            "But why?" Elizabeth asked with a hint of whining.  "I miss her."

            Sirius' bottom lip trembled as a puddle of tears filled his eyelids with blurriness and cold, wet sorrow.  "So do I," he whispered.  "So do I, sweetheart."

            At the sight of Sirius' tears, Elizabeth started wailing louder and harder.  "I want Mommy!!  Where's Mommy!?" she yelled.

            Sirius tried holding back the tears, and picked up Elizabeth to rock her back and forth.

**_Come stop your crying, it will be alright_**

**_Just take my hand, hold it tight_**

**_I will protect you from all around you_**

**_I will be here, don't you cry_**

****

**_For one so small, you seem so strong_**

**_My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm_**

**_Our bond between us can't be broken_**

**_I will be here, don't you cry_**

            A slow tear escaped down Sirius' cheek and he brushed it away as he crept towards Elizabeth's crib where he gently placed her down and looked away quickly.   This wasn't a time to think about Savannah…he had to stop living in the past.  Savannah wasn't coming back, and he had to face that.  He knew that Savannah was worth a million words and a million photos and a million smiles and a million kisses…but that wasn't going to change anything.  As much as he hated to think that it was over…it _was _over.  Savannah was just a memory, and a memory she'll stay.  A memory to the mind…and a memory to the heart.  

**_'Cause you'll be in my heart_**

**_Yes, you'll be in my heart_**

**_From this day on, now and forever more_**

****

**_You'll be in my heart_**

**_No matter what they say_**

**_You'll be here in my heart, always_**

            "It's just you and me, baby," Sirius murmured as Elizabeth drifted off to sleep.  He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.  "It's just you and me…"

**A/N: That was kind of a short chapter, but I thought I should incorporate his father into the story once again.  This chapter just kind of reveals how much pain Sirius is going through and how much he'll never get over the fact that his mother, his wife, and his daughter aren't coming back.  The song is "You'll Be in my Heart," by Phil Collins. (every time I hear that song, I want to cry now….)**


	33. The Effects

**A/N: **Okay, well this chapter has a lot of depressing news in it, so, yet again, here's a reminder to pull out some tissues.  Unfortunately, I have to start winding down this story, so this chapter is kind-of quick and has a **_LOT_ of information in it.  Read carefully, and _definitely _read the article.  It explains a lot of unfortunate events and it is very important for the end of this story in general.  Anyhow, I'm just warning you ahead of time, there are only a few more chapters left so I'll try to update sooner!**

**Disclaimer: **Everyone you don't recognize belongs to me.  All others belong to the lovely J.K. Rowling!

**MEMORIES******

_CHAPTER 34: The Effects****_

****

_Written by ByeByeBirdie_

            _Beep, beep, beep, beep, the alarm clock kept ringing._

            Lily groaned and turned over in bed.  "Don't make me go to work," she grumbled.

            James turned towards Lily and gave her a kiss on the forehead.  "Honey, it's your big day at the _Daily Prophet.  Your article is finally being published," James explained. He was talking about the bombings held in Diagon Alley at Gringotts Bank that Lily got to write about._

            Lily groaned.  "It's too early."

            James laughed.  "If you don't get up, I'm going to have to start tickling you," he teased.

            "Oh, no," she groaned.  "AGH!  James, stop!  That tickles—hahaha—stop, stop!" Lily cried, jumping out of bed.  "Okay, I'm up, I'm up!!!"

            James laughed.  "Okay, you get ready and I'll make breakfast."

            "Honey, the last time you made breakfast for me you gave me a bag of Doritos, a Diet Cola, and two oatmeal cookies."

            "Yeah, but didn't it taste good?!"

            "Not at six in the morning," Lily complained.

            James laughed.  "Okay, come on.  Let's go, Missy!"

            Lily laughed and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  "You are so cute."

            "I know…it's in the genes."

            They both laughed as Lily headed towards the bathroom and James sauntered downstairs to try and make breakfast.

            "Oh and, _HONEY!?"__ Lily called downstairs._

            "Yeah??" he shouted up.

            "Remember that we're going over to Remus' later tonight for an early dinner with Peter, Allie, Josh, and Sirius!" 

            James sighed, and walked out of the kitchen, staring up the stairs.  "It just doesn't seem the same," he said.

            Lily poked her head down the stairs and slowly took a seat at the top.  "I know.  Without Kaitlynne or Savannah, we'll never be the same again."

            James swallowed hard.  "I-I…know," he said, choked up.

            Lily gave him a sympathetic smile.  "But that's why we've got to stick together.  Tonight isn't supposed to be a crying fest; it's supposed to be a bunch of friends trying to stick together in a time of need."

            "I know but…well, everything's so…so…_changed_.  We'll never be the Marauders and the Honorary Marauders again and we'll never go into Hogsmeade and play pranks or go to Diagon Alley and chill out or just plan a fun day trip to anywhere we feel like."

            Lily sighed.  "I miss her so much," Lily choked up as a bunch of hot tears lay at the bottom of her eyelids not willing to escape yet.

            James slowly walked up the stairs and put his arm around her and kiss her cheek.  "I know," he whispered.

            "She was my best friend, James," Lily whispered.  "I just…I just feel like a part of me is missing.  I loved her so much and I didn't realize it until she was gone.  I-I…I'm going to miss her so much, James…"

            James kissed away her tears and stroked her back gently.  "I know, sweetheart," James whispered. "But we have to stay optimistic.  We can't let Sirius see us like this."

            Lily sighed.  "You're right.  It's just…_hard_."

            James just nodded because he couldn't talk due to the lump forming in the back of his throat.  He bit the inside of his lip and looked over at Lily.  He couldn't help but think that maybe she was going to be gone as well.  He tried not to think about it, but it was hard not to.  Voldemort was after them and James couldn't follow Lily everywhere.  He couldn't protect her from _everything.  He just wished there was someway to help him, Lily, and Harry.  He just wasn't sure how…_

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Is Sirius here?" Lily asked immediately, momentarily after she entered Remus' home.

            Remus nodded solemnly.  "He's in the back and he doesn't look so well."

            James sighed.  "I'll go talk to him."

            Remus sighed.  "I just wish there was some way to help him.  Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that these things just take time and patience.  They just don't disappear even as much as we wish these problems would."

            Lily nodded and gave him a sympathetic smile.  "But it seems that you've been holding up just fine lately."

            Remus smiled weakly.  "If that's the way you want to put it.  I've just been stronger, thinking of Sirius and how much he needs us right now."

            Lily nodded again and smiled up at him.  "But at least he has friends who care about him deeply."

            "And that's all that matters right now."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Sirius?" James barely whispered when he spotted him by the creek behind Remus' house.

            Sirius half-turned around.  "Hi."

            "How are you holding up?"

            "As much as I can, after my wife and my little girl just died," Sirius whispered

            James patted him on the shoulder.  "I'm so sorry, Sirius.  That's all I can really say right now because there's not much I _can _say.  I don't know how it feels or anything so I can't sympathize _with _you but I am sympathizing for you, Padfoot."

            A lump formed in Sirius' throat as tears lay silently and secretly in his eyelids.  "It's just not fair," he repeated for the thousandth time over the past two days.

            "I know.  Nothing's fair anymore, Sirius.  I-I'm sorry for _everything you've been through, but I'm always here for you.  Just remember that."_

            Sirius actually smiled.  "Thanks, James.  And thanks for being the best friend a guy could ask for."

            James couldn't help but think how sentimental the moment got, but he wasn't uncomfortable with it at all.  He knew that Sirius needed a best friend and here he was.  "Sirius, I-" James started.

            "James!  Sirius!" Lily cried shakily, with obvious fear in her eyes. 

            James immediately stood up.  "Lily?  What's wrong?  Are you okay?"

            Lily started trembling.  "I-I am, but…"

            "But what?" Sirius dared to ask.

            "It's Allie and Josh," Lily whispered.  "And Cole and Jenna," she added softly.

            "What's wrong?  What happened?" Sirius said forcefully.

            Lily gave them a pleading look.  "Vol-Voldemort," she whispered.

            Sirius gasped and James brought his hands to his mouth.

            "Oh, God. No, it can't be," James muttered.

            "Are you saying that he…" Sirius trailed off.  But they all knew that he meant.

            Lily brought her hands to her cheeks where the tears already began to spill over.  "Yes," she whispered, barely audible.  "He's killed them, too..."

            James couldn't even say anything.  There was obvious anger and frustration in his eyes as he shared an antagonizing look with Lily. 

            "Wh-where?" Sirius dared to ask as he started trembling. 

            "Outside their house," she whispered, as she started breaking down and sobbing into the palms of her hands.  James slowly wandered over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

            Unlike James and Lily, who got upset and somber, Sirius became angry and frustrated.  He clenched his fists together and flamed seethed out of his ears as he narrowed his eyes and his nose flared.  It wasn't fair.  First his mother…then Savannah and Leigh…and now Allie, Josh, Cole, and Jenna.  Voldemort wasn't going to get away with this.  Sirius refused to let it happen again.  He vowed to seek revenge in one way or another.  He wasn't sure how or when or where…but it was going to happen in the near future.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "They never even saw it coming," he smirked.  "Nice work once again, Wormtail."

            "Thank you Massssster."

            "Next stop…Caroline Potter."

            "Yesss, sssssir."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

~_Daily Prophet~_

_August 19___

**Voldemort**** Strikes Again**

_Written by Miranda Hale_

_England__ seems to be the center of focus for Lord Voldemort as he has struck again…and again.  In the few recent days that have gone by, Lord Voldemort struck first in the center of wizardry in Diagon Alley.  Nine bombs were found underground of Gringotts Bank, which is still set up under construction and hopefully will be active by the end of the summer, situated by Lord Voldemort himself. Five-hundred and twenty-six deaths were counted, including two-hundred and nineteen goblins, and thousands more people with injuries.  Luckily, all of the accounts were fire-proof with steel and metal doors, so all of the money, down to the last knut, has been saved, and is being held until further notice. The goblins are sorry for any inconveniences this may cause and they are doing their best to reopen Gringotts Bank as soon as possible._

_            Three days later, on August 14, Joshua Timothy Matthews, Allison Gina Matthews, née Reiner, and their two children, Cole Marcus Matthews and Jenna Cassandra Matthews were found dead on their doorstep by the unfortunate Avada Kedavra _curse plagued from Lord Voldemort. __

_            Three days later, on August 17, __Michael__a Henrietta Kaub, Arabella Freida Figg, Gilderoy Holton Lockhart, Alastor Wilbur Moody, and Jenkins Vinnie Toddings were found disappeared from their own homes and have yet to be found._

_            Later that evening, Voldemort was spotted fleeing towards northern Scandinavia and only four hours later, a dual between Lord Voldemort and Lord Strandness in the streets of a small, icy, overcrowded village in Norway, called Mirquese Hollow, occurred with the ending verdict of Lord Strandness' death and a few spectators and the escape of Lord Voldemort.  His whereabouts have not been discovered yet, but there have been few predictions.  _

_            Very early yesterday morning, on the disturbing day of August 18, the following deaths were recorded:  Caroline Diana Potter, née Roberts, Charlotte Veronica Lupin, and Silas Xavier Black and Shannon Theresa Black cursed by the powerful and almighty Lord Voldemort using the Avada Kedavra __curse.  This unfortunate event sent worries and murmurs all through northern England and not too soon after, Steven Jasper Suaven and Daniella Penelope Suaven, née Bocchino, plus there three children, Kailynn Mya Suaven, Devon Frederick Suaven, and their oldest daughter Isabella Loren Suaven, all ready to go back to Hogwarts on September 1, were found dead in their home with the same verdict as the others: Voldemort and the Avada Kedavra _curse…__

_            On the Black family tree, only twenty-eight-year-old Sirius __Devon__ Black and three-year-old Elizabeth Leigh Black are the only two Blacks left alive.  Sirius' wife and daughter, twenty-eight-year-old __Savannah__Lydia__ Black and three-week-old, Leigh __Michael__a Black, were two unfortunate victims in the collapse and the bombings at Gringotts Bank in Diagon Alley.  After digging out information about Silas Black, we have concluded that all of the Black property, over four million acres, has been inherited to Sirius Black by demand of Silas Black.  In Silas' will, he wishes for everything that he has ever owned to be given to both his children, however a sidenote states that if one of them were to be found dead, the other would receive all of the inheritance.  Therefore, Sirius Black was given everything that belonged to his parents,  including eighteen million galleons left in Silas and his ex-wife's bank account at Gringott's Bank that was to be officially Sirius Black's when he turns thirty.  Sirius refused to follow up on that, but did remind us, and everyone else, that his father was a criminal and a death-eater at one point in his life and Sirius had disowned him many years before.  Sirius wishes to make it known that he plans on destroying every little thing that has any importance to the relation of his father.  "I plan on burning all of the money I'm supposed to receive and abandoning my father's house and land.  I don't want any reminders of my father or Voldemort…My father was by Voldemort's side when Voldemort killed my mother.  You just don't forget that..." were the final words of Sirius Black.  We were reminded of Francesca Tanya Black, née Cortese, and Sirius just wishes to make it known that she will forever remain in her heart.  _

_            The deaths on August 16 had no witnesses, so we can't be sure what had consequently happened, but a flash of green blinded the neighborhood before these corpses were all found hours afterwards.  We can't be sure whether or not these deaths, the dual, the bombs, and the disappearances are related to each other in any way or if it was simply a spontaneous anticipation of judgement on Lord Voldemort's part.  There is a rumor that he has retreated up to __northern_ Ireland___ after Aurors had met up with him in the popular town of __Hogsmeade__.  He barely escaped, although two of his death-eaters, Timothy Yargen and Philip Jared were caught and sent to Azkaban. Whether Lord Voldemort retreated to __northern_ Ireland___ or not, only he and his followers and death-eaters will ever know._

_                James sighed and placed down the _Daily Prophet _on the kitchen table.  When he picked up the newspaper on the way home from work to read Lily's article, he was not expecting the front page news to be so bold and bitter.  The front page article was all about him and his friends and it just scared him to know that somehow Voldemort knew his every move. _

            He rubbed his eyes stressfully and placed his elbows on the table. He knew how it was all related but he didn't want to admit it.  And although it seemed like Voldemort was after Sirius and his family, James knew the truth.  He knew that there had to be someone who was giving Voldemort information, but James didn't want to believe it was someone close to them.

            James reread the article, but stopped when he reached his mother's name.  He just _stared _at her name feeling hopeless.  Deep down inside, James knew it was his fault, but he tried not to believe it.  But guilt filled his mind and his aching heart.  A tear slowly rolled down his cheek in response to his mother's deaths. 

            "James?" Lily said, walking into the kitchen with a bewildered look on her face.  

            James sighed, wiped away the tears, and looked up at his wife.  "Oh, Lily," he said.

            Lily sniffled and came to sit on his lap.  "I'm so sorry."

            James just nodded.

            "Everything is so…different," Lily continued.  "Things are changing to quickly…_terrible _things.  I'm scared."

            James nodded and took a deep breath in.  "So am I," he whispered.  "When I got that phone call yesterday from the Ministry, I knew it was going to be bad news…I just didn't think it would be my mother."

            Lily sniffled.  "No one did.  It was very unexpected.  It's just not fair."

            "I know," James murmured.  

            "Why is he after us?" Lily whispered.  "Too many people related to us are dying and it's the worst feeling ever. I'm afraid to answer the phone or read my mail or read the newspaper or even go into work just because it could be even more bad news."

            James nodded with agreement.  "I just wish there was something we could do."   

            "James…do you know if Dumbledore would be able to help us?"

            James snapped his head up towards her.  "You know, it wouldn't hurt to try."

            "I think we could use all the help we could get."

            "Come on, let's go," James said, as Lily immediately stood up and James jumped up.

            "I'll go get Harry," Lily said, taking the stairs two at a time.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Sirius wished he never talked to Miranda Hale.  He didn't realize what the article was for.  He didn't realize that his neighbors had died or James' mother had died or his father and his sister had died.  When Miranda Hale came to the door she said she wanted to ask him questions about his father, Sirius was _not expecting to be in an article related to Voldemort and his killing spree.  _

            Sirius sighed and reread the article, once again…and then again.  And then he read the paragraph about him and Elizabeth, and yet again…and once more.  He shook his head in disbelief.  The paragraph made it seem that Sirius was the bad guy.  But if only the world knew…if only they knew.

            Sirius sighed, and threw the paper on to his kitchen table.  He ran upstairs to where Elizabeth was playing with her stuffed animals and smiled down at her before saying, "C'mon, Lizzie.  We need to go to James and Lily's house for a little while."

            "Aunt Yilly?" she muttered.

            Sirius nodded, and smiled at his daughter.  "Important business, sweetheart."

            "Okay," she said with a giggle.

            Sirius couldn't help but laugh at his unbearably cute daughter.  "Awww…I love you, Elizabeth."

            "I wuv you, too, Daddy," she responded, standing up and walking into Sirius' arms to give him a big hug.

            As Sirius hugged Elizabeth back, he couldn't help but think of Savannah and Leigh…wherever they were…whatever they were doing.  He tried hard not to think about them, but everything around him reminded him of Savannah, and there was nothing he could do.__

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Professor?" McGonnagal said, sticking her head into his office.

            Dumbledore sighed, immediately placing the _Daily Prophet _down on his desk, after just reading the article about Voldemort.  "Oh, hello, Minerva.  I was actually just about to come see you.  I need to go take care of a little piece of business at the moment and I'm not sure how long I'm going to be gone, so could you take over for a bit?"

            "I'd be happy to, but there's someone here to see you at the moment."

            Dumbledore stood up with a bewildered look on his face.  "And who would that be?"

            "The Potters."

            Dumbledore gasped a little and sank down into his chair.  "Please, send them in immediately," he responded with much eagerness.

            She nodded solemnly and left without another word.  

**A/N: Wahhh…..people just keep on dying.  But will Dumbledore be able to help them?  How will all of this madness stop???  Keep reading and I'll keep updating!  How about you review while you're at it…**


	34. Anticipation

**A/N: More tears, more tissues, more distressing reviews from upset readers.  It's a horrible cycle, ain't it?  Anyway, things get better so just keep reading and maybe life will soon go on for Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, and Lily….anything can happen.**

**Disclaimer: You know how this goes.  Everything you don't recognize belongs to moi.  However, everyone and everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.  (Oh, a lot of this chapter is trademarked by her, as well, so yay for her!!)**

****

**MEMORIES**

_CHAPTER 35: Anticipation****_

****

_Written by ByeByeBirdie_

            A minute later, the office door opened and Lily, James, and Harry, sleeping in Lily's arms.  

            "Why, I wasn't expecting this," Dumbledore spoke first.  "Please, have a seat."

            "Um…I'm not sure if you know why we're here but…" James trailed off.

            "Does this have to do with that article in the _Daily Prophet_?"

            Lily nodded as James replied, "Yes, Professor."

            "First of all, I am deeply sorry, James, for the loss of your mother," Dumbledore said gravely.  "I remember her from her time spent at Hogwarts.  Always causing trouble with your father and Francesca Cortese."

            To everyone's surprise, James smiled.  He wasn't expecting it, either, and was rather surprised with his reaction.  He figured he'd be breaking down in tears by now, but he smiled…the mere thought of his mother as a younger teenager hanging out with his father and Sirius' mother just made him happier.

            Dumbledore smiled as well.  "They were quite the threesome.  Three Musketeers, they used to call each other."

            James smiled again.  "Kind-of like the Marauders…"

            "Exactly.  I don't know if anyone has ever told you, but you and your mother are remarkably similar.  You look like her in every way and you act like her as well," Dumbledore continued.  "Always causing trouble and trying to be the best at everything.  She was Head Girl, you know."

            James nodded.  "She used to brag about that all of the time," he said with a laugh.  "Never letting Dad forget it, either."

            Lily smiled.  She liked seeing James happy, especially when it came to his family.  Lily couldn't remember the last time that James smiled out of his own joy instead of forcing himself to be happy for not only himself, but for others as well.  The past few weeks have been tremendously crazy, and just seeing her husband smile made everything so much easier to deal with.

            "I don't doubt it.  She gloated it in his face whenever she got the chance.  The horror on his face when he found out Silas Black was Head Boy," Dumbledore said with a chuckle.

            James had to laugh and Lily couldn't help but think of Sirius at that point, feeling melancholy all over again.

            "Jealous, I presume," James mumbled. 

            Lily laughed and Dumbledore cracked a smile.  "Exactly.  He refused to let Caroline hang around with a Slytherin like Silas.  Especially when your parents were seriously dating at that point."

            "And then when Sirius' mom started sneaking around with Sirius' father," James said, shaking his head in amazement.  "I must have heard that story a thousand times."

            "What happened?" Lily dared to ask, having never been told this story.

            James and Dumbledore both chuckled and turned to Lily.  "My father pushed Silas off his broom at a Quidditch game at the end of the year and almost killed him, and my mother was so mad that she stopped talking to him altogether and since they both refused to cave, they stayed mad until after graduation and they went their separate ways after Hogwarts.  Well, ironically my father kept in touch with Francesca and three years later, they met up with each other at Silas' and Francesca's wedding and were married eight months later."

            Lily smiled.  "That's so sweet."

            "Actually, it reminds me of Kaitlynne and Remus…without the almost-death part in Hogwarts," James said with a laugh.

            Dumbledore smiled at the couple.  He knew that all they wanted was to be happy, which brought him to think about why they were in his office at the moment.

            "I know we got a little side-tracked, but I was actually just about to come and talk to you when you two showed up in my office," Dumbledore explained.

            James smiled and Lily took a glance over at him.

            "Is that good?" Lily dared to ask.

            "I think I know a way I can help you both to escape from Voldemort."

            Lily gasped in sheer joy and James stared at him emotionless, not sure of how to respond.  They needed help, of course, but they didn't think that there would actually be a way, and now Dumbledore is telling them the few words they both desired to hear.  

            "Re-really?" James asked.

            Dumbledore nodded.  "At least this is your best chance."

            "Hey, I'm up for any chance right now," Lily muttered.

            "How are you going to help us?" James immediately asked.

            "A Fidelius Charm."

            James and Lily exchanged looks.  "A what?" Lily asked.

            Dumbledore chuckled.  "It's a tremendously difficult spell.  It's a charm that entails concealment of a secret inside a living soul.  That person is known as the Secret-Keeper and the inevitable secret will furthermore be virtually impossible to find...unless the certain Secret-Keeper mentions the charm or confesses the secrets within his soul in any way.  So if you hide yourselves and Harry in someone's soul, Voldemort will never be able to reach you.  But you must choose wisely because any mention of you two would ruin you and you'd be out in the open for Voldemort and his death-eaters."

            Both Lily and James were listening intensely and continued to nod, both thinking about how risky this charm would be…but they both knew it had to be done and they both wanted to do it more than anything.  

            Lily looked up at Dumbledore and then glanced towards James with a determined look on her face.  "Okay," Lily said with a huge smile plastered on her face.

            Dumbledore nodded satisfyingly and continued.  "I am willing to be your Secret-Keeper, if that suffices both of you."

            James shook his head.  "No, I don't want to put you in any danger, even at the slightest."

            Dumbledore was about to protest, but the eager look in James' eye told him it wasn't any good.  So Dumbledore nodded and looked at him, figuring he had someone in mind.  "Okay, but I advise you to choose carefully."

            James looked at Lily and Lily smiled at him, knowing that he was thinking of someone in the back of his mind.  She was thinking the same thing……

            "I want to use Sirius," James said firmly, looking at Lily for agreement.

            Lily smiled.  "Good, because I don't think I'd take it any other way."

            On the other hand, Dumbledore looked skeptical.  He knew that someone close to the Potters was giving Voldemort secret information, and as much as he didn't want to believe it was Sirius, he _was a possibility.  "Are you sure?"_

            James nodded eagerly.  "I know he wouldn't let us down."

            Lily nodded as well, and couldn't help but look over at Harry in his carriage sound asleep.  It was the safest thing for all of them, especially Harry…

            "Now, you two are the only two who can perform this charm, so once you talk to Sirius, please come see me and I will give you all of the instructions and the incantations.  This will be a long process, and you'll need to listen carefully and understand everything I tell you.  Unfortunately, I can't help you with the procedure.  That will be up to you two, but I can lead you up to that point.  The rest is for you and Sirius."

            "Yes, Professor," James said, with a lump in his throat.  "Well be back as soon as possible."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "No, I don't know where they are," Remus said.

            Sirius sighed, shifting Elizabeth from one arm to the other.  "They weren't at home, and _no one knows where they are.  Even their neighbor didn't see them leave and he was mowing the lawn."_

            Remus sighed.  "What about Diagon Alley?"

            "Checked there."

            "Hogsmeade?"

            "Nope."

            "Auror's office?"

            "Nope."

            "_Daily Prophet_?"

            "Nope, and they're not at the cemetery, at Lily's grandmother's house, at Petunia's, at the hospital, at the doctor's office, or Peter's house."

            Remus sighed.  "Then I have no more guesses."

            Sirius took a deep breath in and out.  "Where could they _be_?  I don't want to freak out, but I am!" Sirius cried, shaking Remus.

            Remus gave him a look and stepped back away from him.  "I couldn't tell," he replied sarcastically.  

            Sirius started pacing back and forth.  "Okay, so we know where they're _not_…that doesn't help us, though."

            "Sirius, calm down!!  I'm sure they're fine!"

            "Daddy okay?" Elizabeth questioned.

            Sirius smiled down at her shakily.  "Yes, sweetheart."

            "Are you _sure _you're okay?" Remus teased.

            "Watch it, Remus," Sirius warned.

            "Sirius, stop hyperventilating.  They're _fine!"_

            "Are you _positive!?_"

            "Well…er…no."

            "Then maybe they're _not _fine!!!"

            "Sirius, if you don't calm down right now I'm giving you a silencing charm and dying your hair that ugly purple color you absolutely hate."

            "This is _hardly _the time to joke," Sirius said glaring at Remus.

            "Who said I was joking?" Remus teased. 

            "REMUS!"

            Remus chuckled.  "Besides, if this isn't the time to joke, than what _is _it?  And don't say the time to worry, because considering we don't know where they _are_, then we have no need to worry."

            "How about freaking out?"

            "Nope."

            "Hyperventilating?"

            "Nope."  

            "Fretting?"

            "Nope."

            "Agonizing?"

            "_No."_

            "Pace back and forth trying not to think about it even though I am completely distressing about them while pulling little strands of hair out of my skull?"

            "Oooh, so close…but no."

            Sirius couldn't help but laugh.  "Fine, fine.  I'm hungry."

            Remus laughed.  "So if you're not thinking about James and Lily, you're thinking about food?"

            "I'm _always _thinking about food," Sirius pointed out.

            "Right, right.  Now, listen, I've got to get to work now.  Could you watch Landon for a little while?"

            Sirius nodded.  "Sure, Remus."

            "Thanks.  I've got to go now, but you better call me when James or Lily calls you."

            Sirius nodded.  "Okay."

            "Bye, Sirius," Remus said, before he apparated.

            Sirius sighed.  "Great…now what do I do?"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Oh, Kaitlynne," Remus sighed ten minutes later in the cemetery where she was buried.  Yeah…he lied.  But he couldn't deal with it anymore.  The only person he wanted to talk to was Kaitlynne…and she was one of the few people who couldn't _answer _him.  "I wish you were here.  You could straighten everything out and help me from going insane.  Voldemort has been after us.  I'm afraid to think what he would have done to you or to me if you were still alive.  Everything's so hectic now.  I need you, Baby Girl," Remus said as the tears slowly slipped down his cheeks.  "I just keep thinking that this is a bad dream.  I'll wake up in a few minutes and realize you're still alive…until I suddenly figure out that this is reality. Oh, God, I loved you so much, Kaitlynne!!" he cried out, hugging the tombstone, getting mud on his knees.  But he didn't care.  All he cared about at the moment was him and Kaitlynne.  "I know I have to get over you, but I can't.  It's too hard.  I look at Landon and I see your eyes.  I look at Landon and I see _us_ together.  Why did it have to happen to you?  

            "And now…now Voldemort has struck gold.  He's got all of his powers charged up inside of him and he's ready to use them all.  Allie and Josh were victims…Cole and Jenna…Savannah and Leigh…Sirius' dad and sister…James' mother…Sirius' neighbors…Lily's second cousin…everything is so anxiety-stricken, and I hate living in a world full of it.  I'm afraid that I'll be next, Kaitlynne, and the scary part is that…I don't mind………"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Hello?" Sirius said, answering Remus' telephone.

            "Hello? Remus?"

            "Who is this?"

            "It's Lily."

            "**_LILY MARIE POTTER, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN AND WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE YOU MADE ME WORRY ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT_!?"**

            "Sirius?"

            Sirius couldn't help but laugh at the fact that Lily recognized his voice when he was _screaming at her.  "Yeah, I'm baby-sitting for Landon while Remus is at work for a little while."_

            "Oh, good.  James and I actually need to talk to you."

            "About what?"

            Lily didn't answer him.

            "Lily?"

            She sighed.  "We'll be over in a few minutes."

            And with that, Sirius heard the dial tone.  "ARGH!!  Why do people have to keep me in suspense!?"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Okay, I swear if someone doesn't start talking _now_, I'm going to scream _so _fucking loud that the cops will come and take me away!"

            "Then you won't hear what we have to say," Lily joked.

            "AAAARRRGGGHH!!"

            "Sirius, calm down.  This is hard to say," James said.

            "I _can't _calm down!" Sirius whimpered.  "After reading that damn article I needed to talk to you, and when I show up at your house you're not there.  And you're not at work or Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade or Peter's house _or _anywhere, and I checked _everywhere_!"

            "We were at Hogwarts with Dumbledore," Lily explained.

            Sirius paused and looked her over.  "Hm…so maybe I didn't check _everywhere."_

            Lily and James cracked a smile.

            "Why were you there?"

            Lily and James exchanged looks.  "Do you have a while?"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "A Fidelius Charm?"

            "Yeah.  It's dangerous, risky, unsheltered, perilous…but it's all we've got," Lily explained, glancing over at Harry, who was sleeping peacefully. 

            "But...I mean, I'm still confused as to why Voldemort after you.  Why _you guys?  Why not the Ministry council or Sir Sephilia if he was so worried about being over-exposed and being captured?"_

            "Because he doesn't have _their _secret information," James remarked.

            "Oh…"

            "Exactly.  So we either pick between living our lives in perturbation, or using the Fidelius Charm.  And I don't want to live a life fearing for my life or James' or Harry's," Lily commented.

            Sirius nodded, in complete agreement.  "Have you told Peter or Remus about all of this yet?"

            They both shook their heads simultaneously.  "No, but there's a reason we needed to tell you first…" James started.

            Sirius felt like he already knew what they were going to ask him.

            "We want you to be our Secret-Keeper," James finished.

            Sirius nodded, with a lump in his throat.  "Okay."

            "Okay?  That's it?  You can think about this, Sirius.  You have to realize that this is putting _you in a lot of danger," Lily said._

            Sirius nodded.  "I know, but I owe it to you guys, to Harry, and to Savannah and Leigh.  I owe it to _everyone who Voldemort affected.  I want to do this.  I deserve this chance to make it up to everyone who I've ever known.  I deserve to _be _someone."_

            Lily and James grinned.  "Great," James said.

            "Dumbledore offered," Lily decided to tell Sirius.

            Sirius was taken aback and looked at them strangely.  "Why didn't you use him?"

            "Much too risky and dangerous.  I'd feel safer in the soul of a friend than in a soul of a former professor who _became _my friend because of a place that got me mixed up in all of this," Lily said.  "I'd feel guilty using Dumbledore."

            James nodded.  "I completely agree.  With Dumbledore, everything has to be just right and every movement of mine would consist of a big cloud of guilt hanging over my head.  With you, I know I'm safe and I've always been able to count on you; this situation doesn't change that a bit."

            Sirius nodded and smiled at his two worried friends sitting in front of him.  He loved the sensation of being needed, especially after the previous events of his wife and friends and family.  Right now, he liked knowing that his friends still cared about him.  He'd been feeling pretty low and depressed lately, and even with this weighing down his mind at the time, he knew it was the right thing to do for everyone.

            "We just need to go back to Dumbledore and get everything we'll be needing," James said.

            "Don't you guys want to tell Remus and Peter?" Sirius asked.  "Once the charm is performed, you said no one will be able to find you and it would be a high-risk standard to say anything to anyone."

            "Call Remus," Lily said immediately.  "You said he was at work, right?"

            Sirius nodded, and picked up the phone and dialed in a rush. "Yes, hello this is Sirius Black and it is urgent that I speak to Remus Lupin."

            The other line paused.  "He's not in today.  In fact, he took off for the rest of the month, ever since he found out his wife had ovarian cancer in the beginning of July…and then his wife passed away.  He hasn't been in since the end of June.  I'm sorry."

**A/N: Dum-dum-dum-dum!  Cliffie!  I know, it sucks for the rest of you…but if you review maybe I'll find time to update sooner than once a month or so!  I really _do _try to update once or twice a week, but I forget a lot.  However, if I get more reviews like I did in the last chapter, I will _definitely _find more time!  I got some heartfelt reviews for the last chapter which made me want to update sooner, so really—you, as the readers and audience to my fanfic, have the power to change my updating decisions.  Get all your friends to review and write longer reviews with meaningful entries!  I like to know what I can be doing better and I like a bit of constructive criticism.  Tell me what you like and what you don't like!  That's what a review is all about people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Thanks for reading, and remember—"If you don't just review once in a blue moon, than perhaps I'll find more time to update soon!" (My friends were extremely hyper…and drunk, if you must know…and were trying to rhyme something with 'soon'.  This is all they came up with and I found it rather _entertaining _so I'm putting this up just for you guys, Milck and Bizzy!)**


	35. Change of Plans

**A/N: **Another chapter!!  36 down and only FOUR more to go!!!  Aren't you excited!?  Because _I _am!!!  YAY!!  

**Disclaimer: **You know how this goes.  Everything you don't recognize belongs to me and everything else belongs to the great J.K. Rowling (who I love so much that my friends and I are planning on seeing the 3rd Harry Potter movie on the Friday that it comes out even though it's the day right after my senior prom and I'll probably be up all night partying at the shore!  Yay!  But EVERY YEAR I've gone on the first day, and I can't change that! I'm too obsessed!)

**_MEMORIES_**

_CHAPTER 36: Change of Plans ****_

****

_Written by ByeByeBirdie _

            Sirius froze and didn't say a word.  James and Lily raised their eyebrows in questioning at him wondering why he was so stiff.

            "Hello?  Are you still there?" the other woman said.

            Sirius sighed.  "Yes…but…umm…I'm sorry, can you please repeat that?"

            "He's not in?" she suggested in a confused tone of voice.

            "No the…the Kaitlynne part."

            "You didn't know?  She…she died."

            "No, no, I knew she died, but _tell me why_…?

            "Ovarian cancer," she said very impatiently.  "Listen, I'm not the doctor nor am I Remus Lupin so is there something _else _you need, sir?  Or could we possibly wrap this highly-_un_intelligent conversation up?"

            "Oh…oh…sorry…er…thanks though," Sirius said, without bothering to care about the annoyance of the woman on the line.

            He heard the click of the other line and placed the receiver in its cradle slowly. 

            "What?  What's wrong, Si?" James asked.

            "He's not there," Sirius said, still a little shaken up.  "In fact, he hasn't been to work since the end of June."

            "_What?" Lily cried.  "But…But…"_

            "Oh, and I think Remus forgot to mention a tiny detail to the rest of us," Sirius said, trying not to sound angry.

            "Like what?" James asked.

            "It turns out that…that Kaitlynne had ovarian cancer."

            "_WHAT!?" they both cried._

            "He never told us that!" Lily cried.

            "I know," Sirius said somewhat calmly.

            "And all of those times he asked us to baby-sit for him so he could go into work?" James said.  "If he didn't go into work…where would he have gone?"

            "He needs us now more than ever, and he's been lying to us!" Lily accused angrily.

            "You guys, we've _got _to find him," Sirius demanded firmly.

            "My thoughts exactly," James agreed in an irritated manner.

            "This seems awfully suspicious," Lily said.  "This isn't like him."

            "I know," James said, contemplating the situation.  "It makes me wonder…"

            "About what?" Sirius asked.

            "Is it…by any chance…could it be _him_???"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Remus?  He's probably at work," Peter said, when he answered the door.

            Sirius shook his head vigorously, holding on to Landon.  "No he isn't.  He hasn't' been to work since _June_."

            "_What?  He just asked me to baby-sit _three _days in a row last week so he could go into work.  Of course he was there!!"_

            Lily shook her head and James and Sirius hung their heads low in confusion.

            "But…A-Are you sure?"

            James nodded, shifting Harry to the other arm.  "He didn't go there.  He's been going somewhere else…doing something else.  And we don't know what.  I don't' think _anyone _knows what."

            "But…but…but why?  Where?  When?  How?"

            "Good question.  And if we knew all those answers, we wouldn't be here right now," Lily said, holding on to Elizabeth.

            Peter sighed.  "Come on in.  We should try to figure this all out and standing outside in the burning heat doesn't seem like a whole lot of fun."

            They all rushed indoor and piled on to the two couches.

            "Peter, did you know that Kaitlynne had ovarian cancer?" 

            "_WHAT!?!?_"

            "Obviously not," Lily sighed, running her hands through her hair nervously.

            "But…how…why…when…_what_?"

            "Good question," James muttered.

            "And if we knew all those answers, we wouldn't be here right now," Sirius mimicked, and Lily playfully hit him, still wearing a frown on her face.

            "Peter, to make a very long story short, Voldemort is after us," James started.  "And Lily, Harry, and I need to go into hiding."

            Peter opened his mouth and closed it again and stared at them in complete confusion.  "Uh…_what?"_

            "Yeah, that was our reaction, as well," Lily muttered.

            "Dumbledore told us about the Fidelius_ Charm," James continued.  "It's a-"_

            "I know what it is," Peter found himself saying.

            Sirius, Lily, and James all looked at him in surprise.

            "What?  I had to know it for my training course," he explained.

            They all nodded, without bothering to ask what his training course even was _for.  "We're using Sirius," Lily continued as she glanced over at an uneasy looking Sirius.  "But once the charm is performed-"_

            "You'll be in hiding forever unless that person slips up and mentions something to anyone," Peter finished.  "Basically, you're telling me this because, now, I'll have a chance to reach you if I need to.  I'll know where you are."

            "Exactly," James agreed.

            Peter solemnly nodded with an added sigh full of exasperation.  "Good luck then…"

            "C'mon.  We need to get to Dumbledore," James insisted.

            "Are we going to tell Remus?" Lily asked James.

            "We don't even know where he _is _right now," James pointed out.

            "But he's our friend.  He deserves to know about us, James.  We can't just leave him high-and-dry.  That wouldn't be fair to _us or to him and you know it."_

            James looked over at his concerned wife and knew she was right.  He just didn't want to make a mistake…  "We've got to find him then."

            James and Lily stood up cautiously, as if something was going to come up from behind them and bite their heads off.  But they were both just thinking about Remus and Voldemort and the Fidelius Charm…and _everything that their life could have been…but isn't.  _

            Sirius, James, and Lily walked out of Peter's house with Landon, Elizabeth, and Harry with them and were about to apparate, when Sirius grabbed on to James' arm.

            "Wait, use Peter," Sirius said unexpectedly and breathlessly.

            James and Lily turned to him with flustered looks on their faces.  They saw a fearful, scared, antagonizing, worried, fretting, bewildered, strange look on Sirius' face.

            "What are you talking about?" James had the courage to ask.

            "Use Peter for what?" Lily asked.

            "Don't use me as your Secret-Keeper; use Peter.  Voldemort won't suspect it.  It's too obvious that I'd be your first pick."

            Lily paused, glancing at Sirius uncertainly, but nodded in agreement understanding what Sirius was trying to explain.  However, James stood staring at Sirius with a complex vision of superiority set in his mind.  But the look on Sirius' face told James that not only was Sirius right about what he was saying, but that Sirius was scared.  Sirius was scared, and afraid to admit it.  James and Lily both knew that he'd rather be tortured for the rest of his life than betray them, but Sirius didn't want to die…and he would refuse to give in to _anybody. And Voldemort wouldn't exactly like that…neither would anyone else on Lily and James' case, and James knew it…Sirius knew it…_Lily _knew it.  _

            Besides, just because Sirius refused to talk, doesn't mean it won't happen.  Sirius often gave in quickly without any consent or reasoning and Sirius often said some things he'd _always regret…and although the Potters' life was at stake, Sirius would be taking it too threateningly.  Nobody knew what Sirius was __ever going to do…that's what made Sirius so mysterious and slick._

            "We need to make this right between all of us," Lily said.

            "Do what you think is right, Si," James answered quietly.

            "I'm not necessarily saying this is right, but it's better for _you.  I don't want to go through life trapped and confused, and I sure as hell don't want that to happen to you.  We need to throw Voldemort off track, and by using me as your Secret-Keeper, it's like waving a red flag in front of his face."_

            Lily nodded in agreement.  "I think you're right."

            James didn't answer.  He didn't know what to do…he was stuck in this situation.  He trusted Peter, no doubt, but Sirius was the one true person who James could _always count on.  He just wanted to keep it that way…selfish?  Oh, yeah, and James knew it…but it was how he felt deep inside.  It's not that James thought it was a bad idea…or it was being too risky…or the fact that Peter wasn't trustworthy.  It was none of those reasons, because Peter was a good friend and would always stay that way, but Sirius…Sirius was his __best friend…the best person for the job, James couldn't help but think._

            James sighed.  "I hate this, you know."

            Lily looked up into his eyes with concern and affection, and gripped his arm with her free hand.  "James, we're not only putting ourselves through danger through this procedure, but by using Sirius, we're putting _him_ in danger as well.  Of course Sirius would never tell, but he'd be tracked down and tortured for the rest of his life.  It's not fair for anyone."

            James knew this was true…every single word of what she spoke was a thud in his stomach…and in his heart.  He sighed again and turned towards Lily with a stressed expression.  "Lily, I'm agreeing with you _and Sirius…but…well, it just won't be the same," he whispered._

            Sirius turned to James with the puppy-dog eyes he rarely gave to anyone.  The sad, melancholy eyes that showed true passion and true friendship…_brotherhood."James, you know I'm not good with all of this mushy, male-bonding crap that you happen to bring up every so often, and usually at this time I'm make a joke about your hair…or your clothes, but right now I'm staring you straight in the eyes and telling you that there is absolutely _no _one in this whole entire world who means more to me than _you _do.  You've been the brother I never had.  You've __always been there for me and I've __always been able to count on you.  You're the best friend that a guy could ever ask for and I'm so thankful for everything you've ever done for me.  I'm not doing this to hurt you in any way.  It's just safer and I'm doing this _because_ I care.  Please, don't hate me.  Don't resent the fact that I'm changing your plans.  I'd do anything for you.  __ANYTHING.  I'd fly to the moon, I'd buy you America, I'd jump of a seventy-foot building, heck…I'd even sit outside on Christmas night wearing nothing but my boxers until my ass froze off and I ended up being a miserable little ice-cube!!  But this is different.  This isn't just fun and games.  This is life…reality…truth…mortality—hey, that rhymed—"_

            Lily and James smirked.

            "Okay, sorry, I had to add a joke in there somewhere, but back to what I was saying, I care for you…_and_ Lily and Harry so much that I _can't _be your Secret-Keeper.  Please, just try to understand where I'm coming from and forgive me…for everything I've _ever done to hurt you…or to manipulate you…or torment you in any way.  Because none of it was _ever _worth it…_none___ of it."_

            James' eyes glossed over wit unshed, burning tears.  Why?  Who knows…only James can answer that question.  Maybe it was the sentiment of Sirius' speech…Maybe it was the truth in everything Sirius had just said…maybe it was the warm feeling from the bottom of James' heart…maybe it was the devotion from Sirius' point of view…maybe it was the fact that James realized he never should have take Sirius for granted…or maybe—_just maybe_—it was the fact that James just realized that no one could ever replace the best friend that Sirius has always been to him… 

            James turned to Sirius with a sensation of hopefulness…of satisfaction, and embraced Sirius with a brotherly hug…not a friend-like hug…_a brotherly hug.  The kind of hug that _always _matters…_

            "Thank you, Sirius, for everything you've _ever _done for me…for _us_," James whispered into his ear. 

            "Now, go talk to Peter," Sirius said, choking up.  He pushed them in front of him mainly because he wanted to get Lily's and James' back to him, so he could wipe away the few tears that were forming in his eyelids.  "I love you James…" he whispered only for himself to hear.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "Whoa…slow down.   You want _me?" Peter squeaked._

            Lily nodded.

            James nodded.

            Sirius hesitated and looked towards Lily and James…and then Sirius nodded.

            "But…but…"

            "Peter, you don't have to do it if you don't want to," Lily said.  "It's a big responsibility and it's very risky.  But…well, Sirius made some good points outside and we realized that it would even more dangerous to use _Sirius."_

            Peter nodded and swallowed hard.  "No, it's not that I don't want to…I just thought I would be one of the last people on your list."

            "Why would you think that?" James asked.

            Peter shrugged.  "I don't know...I just…oh, I don't know.  Things have been strange lately and I haven't exactly been there for everyone."

            "It happens to everyone," Lily explained.  "Time becomes more of an issue, at the exact moment when you need more of it.  Trust me, we all get caught up in plenty of things and end up doing something we wish we hadn't…or _not doing something we should have done."_

            Peter nodded.  "I know…I know."

            "So, what do you think?" Sirius asked eagerly.  "Will you do it?"

            Peter paused and looked at Sirius, James, and Lily and studied and analyzed their faces efficiently.

            Sirius stood there, anxious yet scared.  He was eager for that moment in his lifetime where he could finally be worth something to _everyone_, but he realized this wasn't it.  Too dangerous, too risky, too obvious.  He sat there staring at Peter, hoping that Peter would realize that Lily and James trust him…they _want_ him and they need him.  And what about _himself_?  Well, Sirius has always been needed…but at the one time where they needed him the most, was the one time Sirius _couldn't be needed.  His fear and anxiety and the realization of the seriousness of the matter got in the way and his concern for James and Lily was sadly reeled in the back of his mind._

            And there stood Lily with a face full of hope and plea and worry.  Lily wanted to be safe…she wanted _Harry…and __James to be safe, and she didn't care how she got to that place of security and protection, as long as she got there as soon as possible. She wanted what was the best for her family.  And she was truly hoping…__desiring for Peter to say the right words to make them all happy._

            James didn't know what to think at the moment.  Watching him, Peter could only capture the bravery in his heart and in his mind.  But deep down inside, James was scared…_terrified _of Voldemort and his powers and the horrible things that he could do to him and his family.  All he wanted was to know that everything was going to turn out okay.

            "Yes…I'll do it," Peter finally responded.

            James and Lily let out a sigh of relief and Sirius smiled wide.  There were no other words to describe their happiness.  Lily gripped Peter tight as Sirius and James embraced once again.

            "What are we going to tell Remus?" Peter finally thought to ask.

             "Tell him you used me," Sirius said firmly.

            "But-" Lily started.

            "Just do it."

            "Sirius-"

            "Guys, trust me on this one.  You guys will be in hiding and the fewer people who know where you two are, the better.  Remus has been disappearing for the last two months for various unknown reasons.  We don't' know what he does or where he goes…but we get stuck with high hopes of his return of _contentment_.  It never works out.  Don't ruin your reputation _or your safety. Let's leave it at you two, Peter, and _me_ for now.  This way we know nothing can go wrong," Sirius said persistently._

            Lily nodded.

            James paused but agreed.  "It's for the best."

            Peter sighed and nodded as well.  "Then let's do it."   

            _Knock, knock._

            They all froze and turned towards the door cautiously.

            Lily and James exchanged looks.

            Sirius and Peter exchanged looks.

            James squeezed Harry tighter, afraid of…well, _anything_.

            They all looked back at the door as Peter slowly walked towards it.

            _Knock, knock.  A more solid, more urgent, more swift knock came to the door, soon followed by another._

**A/N: Dum-dum-dum-dum! Who is it and what do they want?  Review puhleez and I'll find more time for updating!  ONLY 4 MORE CHAPPIES! **


	36. Third Time's a Charm

**A/N: **I'm back!  Yay for long weekends!  Okay, well I've officially gone over the remaining chapters and it's not long now!  I want to thank all of you for waiting and _especially _those who have reviewed!  Trust me, I will be thanking you all personally once the last chapter is updated.  This was a _very _tough chapter to write and to check for grammatical errors.  Every time I read this chapter, I feel like crumbling inside, so I'm warning you now: YOU…WILL…NEED…TISSUES…!!!!! 

_Tiny sidenote_: Things have been…difficult lately and I just want to take a moment to reflect.  Someone once told me to write with my heart, listen with my heart, and respond with my heart.  She made me want to be different and she and I together became one person.  This chapter is dedicated to the one person who was always there for me.  That one person who knew me inside and out and could read my mind.  Someone who I will _never _forget.  I hate that I didn't realize just how much I care for you in time.  Sometimes, things happen too late but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.  You know who you are and I'll miss you like crazy.  I just know that everything will be okay because I know you're watching over me and I know who my best friend will always be.  I love you always and forever…

**Disclaimer: **You know how this goes.     

_MEMORIES_

CHAPTER 37: Third Time's a _CHARM_  ****

****

Written by ByeByeBirdie 

            Peter creaked open the door and let out a long, drawled-out sigh.

            "Remus," Peter said breathlessly.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "So basically someone is out to get you and you need to go into hiding with this Fidelius Charm that Dumbledore told you about?" Remus summed up.

            "It sucks, but yes; that's life," Lily agreed, sighing nervously.

            "That's not life.  That's _prison_!" Remus said angrily.  "This isn't fair to you…_or _to us!"

            They all nodded in agreement.  "I know," James said.  "But there's nothing we can do about it.  This is for our own good and for our own protection.  We _need _to do this."

            Remus sighed.  "Who have you chosen to be your Secret-Keeper?"

            They all hesitated as an awkward silence filled the air.  Peter looked at Lily, who looked at James, who looked at Sirius, who was looking down at the ground, waiting for someone to break the silence.

            Sirius looked up after realizing no one was willing to lie.  He sighed and started straight at Remus.  "Me.  They're using me," Sirius said shakily.

            Lily and James turned away quickly and Peter looked at Sirius, who was in direct eye contact with Remus.

            Remus nodded.  "I figured as much."

            He just didn't figured that Lily, James, Sirius, and Peter were all sitting on the couches with a heavy feeling of guilt on their minds weighing them down with anything but contentment.__

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Remus left about twenty minutes later with Landon.

            Lily sighed as she watched him close the door behind him and apparate home.  "We should've told him that we know he didn't go into work for the past two months."

            James shook his head.  "I thought about it…but I didn't want to worry him even more."

            "But he would've told us why he's been leaving for long periods of time," Sirius pointed out.

            "Would we have listened?  Would we have believed him?" 

            Lily and Sirius paused and Peter sighed.  "Probably not," Peter replied hesitantly.

            "Exactly," James agreed.

            "I still feel guilty," Lily mumbled.

            James squeezed her shoulder and kissed her on the forehead.  "I know, sweetheart.  We all do.

            Sirius couldn't help but get a huge surge of resentment, watching the love that James and Lily had for each other and not being able to share that with Savannah.  He swallowed hard and knew that Voldemort was going to be forced to pay.

            James sighed and said somberly, "So, all there's left to do is go to Dumbledore."

            "Call me as soon as everything's over and you're settled in," Sirius said firmly.

            "It shouldn't take long…an hour at the most," Peter said wisely.

            Sirius nodded.  "Okay, but I better hear the phone ring sooner or later."

            "We'll call you, Si," Lily said firmly.  

            "No doubt about _that_," James muttered.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            After they left, Sirius apparated to his house.

            If you ask him what he did for the next hour, he could not tell you.  All he could think of was James and Lily and Harry and Peter.  Everything he ever lived for was in trouble and he couldn't' do anything about it.  It was one of the worst feelings he's ever had filled inside of him.  There are no other words for it.  The only thing Sirius could do was stand off to the side and pray for their safety…

            Sirius glanced up at the clock and saw that it was three o'clock and he sighed.  Three and a half hours had past since the Potters and Peter had gone to see Dumbledore and still no one had tried to contact him about anything.  _Is it that hard to pick up a phone!? _Sirius thought furiously. 

            After an hour of sitting in front of the television watching some nonsense show, Sirius glanced up at the clock again and grumbled under his breath.  _Why haven't they called me…?_

After another hour of ineffectual aimlessness, Sirius couldn't take it anymore.  He grabbed his jacket and practically flew out the door.  He raced to his motorcycle, but stopped abruptly moments before he took off.  He looked up at the far-left window and sighed, suddenly remembering Elizabeth was still sound asleep inside, still taking a nap.  He ran back inside and picked up the phone about to call Remus.  He dialed the first five numbers, before slamming it down, realizing Remus didn't know that James and Lily used Peter.

            Sirius was getting frustrated.  He needed to get to Peter to see how things settled in and to make sure everything and _everyone _was okay.  Standing around waiting for nothing was doing him no good at all.

            "Rosmerta?  Hi, I need you to do me a favor…"  

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            _Knock, knock_.  

            Sirius waited a few seconds before pounding on the door again.  A shiver ran down his spine at the sound of the hollow, loud banging on the door.  He banged on the door with his fist a third time and looked over in the window hastily. _Where are you, Peter_??  

            A gust of wind circled around Sirius and blew in the curtains from the half-open window.  It was a chilly afternoon for an August day, and Sirius flipped up the collar of his jacket, waiting for Peter to answer the door…if he ever was. 

            Light drops of rain started to fall around him and he looked up into the sky.  Dark clouds were hovering in the sky and Sirius knew it was going to be a stormy day.

            Sirius peeked inside and saw that it was completely dark.  There wasn't a single light on in the house, making Sirius a bit suspicious.  Sirius sighed, and pounded on the door for the fourth time, praying that Peter would answer the door…

            No such luck.

            Sirius let out a long, drawled-out sigh that hung in the misty air with awkwardness.  He knew that Peter should have been home by now.  Even Peter said it wouldn't take more than an hour.  And nothing could have gone wrong unless they didn't know the proper procedures and they had Dumbledore as their teacher…so Sirius knew it would have happened correctly and efficiently.   

            _So, where's Peter_??

            He wouldn't have gone anywhere except where he was needed—home.  Unless…

            _No…oh, no, no, no……!!_

_            It couldn't be!!!_

_            …could it??_

Sirius knew what the answer to that question was immediately after he thought about it.

            And now he knew exactly what to do and where to go…it was a matter of how much time he had.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

             A thick cloud of a mixture of green and gray hung stingily in the musty air and Sirius stared at it wide-eyed, still with one leg wrapped around his motorcycle.  

            Sirius grazed his eyes even higher up into the air and noticed the Dark Mark………  

            Sirius didn't know what to think…or what to believe at this point.  It was too late…that was the only thing running through Sirius' mind.  That…and the fact that it was all his fault.

            Sirius stood there in shock.  He didn't think it could ever happen, but here he was standing in front of his two best friends' house…without them inside.  The past month had been dreadful, and this completely topped it.  

            _They were supposed to be safe!! _Sirius thought angrily.  _Once I get my hands on Peter…_

Sirius gritted his teeth and clenched his fists together so tightly that he cut off all blood circulation to them.  Flames were literally pouring out of his ears…out of his eyes…out of every possible hole in his body.  

            Yes, the last few of his friends were dead, and that was a reason to be upset…

            But another one of his friends had killed them…and it was his fault.  If only Sirius had agreed to James' and Lily's wishes, but he backed off too scared and too afraid of death and Voldemort.  

            Sirius threw the motorcycle to the ground recklessly, and slowly walked up to the house and saw that the front door was already wide open.  It was raining harder now and Sirius was dripping wet while Sirius trampled through the thick cloud of smoke.  A big puddle of water fell to the ground once he entered the house as a wave of cold and dampness filled the air.

            He stood in the middle of it all as the tears slowly poured out.  In the corner of the room, there stood James.  His eyes were open and his wand was in his right hand tightly.  One hand was thrown over his head and another was slung out to the side.  His legs were crisscrossed, and he was on his side, facing Sirius.  His eyes were like glass and his face was already as white as a ghost.  A flash of neon-green light was floating over his head waving back and forth as if it were gloating about the fact that it caused the death.  As he glanced at James to get another look, he suddenly realized the look on his face…the same look on his mother's face when she was killed.  Sirius turned his head away, not wanting to think about it.

            Sirius half-expected James to get up a few seconds later and point and laugh at Sirius, yelling 'Just Kidding!  I got you, hahaha!'

            Actually, Sirius was just wishing for that.

            But nothing happened.

            A few seconds later, Sirius walked over to James and put his hand on his shoulder to steady himself and to take a better look at the best friend he's always known.  But one closer look at the strained expression on James' face, made Sirius back off in fear.  "I-I'm so sorry," Sirius whispered.  Sirius dropped to his knees and buried his face into James' jacket, wrapped around James' body tightly.

            Sirius remembered Lily urging James to buy a new jacket, for the one he had was too small for him, and besides that, but it was torn and rugged.  Like he was wearing it during a dust storm or something. 

            Sirius choked as he remembered Lily and James together, as well.  He knew it was dumb to break out and cry at the thought of a _jacket_ but the memory was the thing that was important.  Memories…that's all he had left now.

            A few seconds later, after James' jacket was covered in soaking tears, a loud booming sound was heard from upstairs.

            Sirius jerked his head in that direction.  _Is _he _still here???_

Sirius slowly and cautiously drifted up the stairs with his wand in his hand.  But whom he saw was one person he _never _thought he'd see in the Potter household.

            "Hagrid?" Sirius expressed his surprise.

            "Oh, Sirius!" Hagrid sobbed.  "It's horrible!  Absolutely horrendous!  I never thought it could happen to them…look how sweet and innocent she looks!!" he cried glancing over at the slumped body of Lily in the corner of the room.  Her front side was against the wall so they only saw the back of Lily, but it was still enough to make Sirius' eyes well up with blurry tears.

            Sirius let Hagrid lean on him for support, but the only thing Sirius could think of was the fact that his best friends were dead, and he was to blame.  He could only stare at the motionless body of Lily hunched in the corner, practically hugging the side of the wall.  Everything that he's ever loved, was now dead.  First his chance of family, then his opportunity to live a life with his best friends.

            Sirius heard a strangled cry behind him and whipped around towards the door, but he didn't see anything at all.  Hagrid wiped his moist face to make it arid and turned to where Sirius was staring.

            "There he is…" Hagrid said, with a bit of pride shown.

            "Who?" Sirius cried, wondering what Hagrid was talking about.

            "Harry…"

            Sirius opened his mouth in painand looked up at Hagrid with a confused look on his face, feeling the hot tears stinging his eyes.

"Dumbledore found out immediately and sent me here as soon as he could with a mission in his mind.  I just apparated here a few moments ago……"

            "What are you talking about, Hagrid?  What did Dumbledore find out?  What mission?  Why are you here?"

            Hagrid turned to Sirius in surprise.  "You mean…you don't know?"

            Sirius looked up at the shocked face of Hagrid, obvious bewilderment gleaming in Hagrid's misty eyes.  "What's going on?"

            Hagrid walked over to the crib and picked up a bundle of blankets.

            Inside was a wide-eyed and confused Harry Potter.

            Still alive.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            "You finally did it and Master is not even here to acknowledge it.  Where has he gone?  He should be here!!  We've finally done something right to prove to him we're now useless and he's run off somewhere!"

            "Massssster hasssss run off," he whispered hoarsely.  "Hissss power hassss been drained."

            "Damn those Potters," a gruff, raspy voice seethed.

            "We'll get them…" another one of Voldemort's death-eaters hissed slowly.

            "He'll call us once again." 

            "We'll be there."

            "He's our Master.  When he needs us, the time will come for us to join up once again."

            "And we'll be there, waiting for hisssss next tassssssk," Wormtail finished.  "Until next time…"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**A/N: **Oh…my…God……..…….oh…my…God…I can't believe I actually just went through with that.  I just killed off the last of the characters.  I just ended the lives of my two favorite characters.  Wow, I didn't realize how upsetting this would be……………….Review please.  


	37. The Dream I Dreamed

**A/N: **Well, I'm back with, yet again, depressing news.  These final chapters just kinda tie together how I think it should end, so just keep on reviewing until there are no more chapters left (only three left after this!)

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill.  It's all J.K. Rowling's, who I will forever adore.

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER 38: The Dream I Dreamed ****

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            "Hagrid, let me take him.  He's my godson.  I deserve to take him in," Sirius urged on.  Although, that was partially the reason, the main reason as to why Sirius wanted to take him was to prove to himself and to James and Lily that he wasn't a terrible person.  He can do something right and because Sirius caused all of the pain and suffering on that certain night, Sirius wanted another chance.  He didn't want to walk out of there that night with nothing but the thought to last forever that his friends died because of him…

            "No, I have strict orders from Professor Dumbledore himself, Sirius.  I am to not let this little one out of my sight until I get to 4 Privet Drive…"

            "What?  With _Petunia_?" Sirius spat out.  "He doesn't belong there!  She'll probably pitch him over a cliff and claim she never knew the poor kid!"

            "It's not my decision," Hagrid said firmly.  "I know they're Muggles, and trust me, I'd rather Harry live with a pack of wolves than with an unknowledgeable _Muggle_, but this is his family.  They'll be kind and understanding and Harry will grow up in the Muggle world where he belongs and where he is needed."

            Sirius shook his head.  "No…no. You can't do this.  It's not fair to him.  He deserves to know who he _really_ is.  Who his _parents _were.  He deserves to grow up with people that _love _him and will give him the best that he needs.  That's _me_…and Remus.  Together we will make Lily and James prouder than they'd ever be.  This is only fair to _them_…and to me.  You can't take him away," Sirius cracked.

            Hagrid looked at the solemn Sirius and almost gave in.  Sirius' face was pleading with forgiveness and determination.  Hagrid knew he was right but there was nothing he could do.  

            "Please, Hagrid," Sirius begged.  "I can't let him go."

            Hagrid shook his overbearing head with guilt.  He wanted to give Harry to Sirius, but deep inside he knew that Dumbledore was right.  Harry still has family and that's where he needed to be for the next eleven years.  "I'm sorry, Sirius, but there's nothing that I can do."

            Sirius' face dropped.  He knew that this was good-bye.  He couldn't deal with that.  First, saying good-bye to James and Lily and now their son, as well.  The one thing that could _ever _remind him of his best friends.  It wasn't fair…_life _wasn't fair. 

            Sirius glanced at the sleepy Harry and a huge lump formed in his throat.  Harry was loved…not just by the Potters, but by him.  Harry would never know that, but it was the truth.  Harry deserved more than the life Dumbledore was giving him, but Sirius couldn't overlook Dumbledore.  Sirius couldn't fight him nor argue or debate.  He knew Dumbledore wouldn't change his mind…if only Dumbledore could know that it was all Sirius' fault.  Sirius just wanted to make things right again…he wanted to do that one meaningful task for James and Lily that meant the world to them.  He told James that he'd do anything for him to make James happy, and lately it hasn't been that way.  First, Sirius took away his job of Secret-Keeper, and now they're taking away his chance to be a father to Harry.  It was too much to handle…he hated it.  Every single bit of it. 

            "Fine," Sirius whispered with a sigh.  "Take my motorcycle.  It's in the front.  I'll apparate home.  Just be careful," Sirius instructed.

            Hagrid turned to the grave man standing beside him and realized just how much he's actually lost that month.  Hagrid sighed and gave Sirius a sympathetic smile.  "Your motorcycle?  Are you sure?  You _love _that thing!"

            Sirius hesitated before answering.  "Yeah, but I love Harry more."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Sirius wandered around for another hour or so, just thinking about the past month…in fact, he couldn't help but think about the past twenty-eight years.

            Everything has changed so much since he was a little kid.  He used to think that his father was superman and that he could save the world with just a touch of his finger.  His father used to be Sirius' hero and now…now there was no one to depend on, except for himself.  He was all alone in the world and he never expected it to end up this way…especially at the age of twenty-eight.

            When he got into Hogwarts, he always knew he'd be a troublemaker.  He and James were born to irritate everyone that stepped in front of them, and they did just that.  But he met Savannah and realized life wasn't _all _about pranks.  That there were other things in life making it worthwhile…the name of Savannah Lydia Turner.  No one ever made him that happy…that friendly…that lovable.  Savannah turned him around into a good person…kind-hearted and devoted.  He always knew she was the one and the day she became Savannah Black, he realized he was right.  But not just about that…but also about hitting the peak of happiness.  Savannah made him happier than a puppy made a four-year-old girl happy…it's as simple as that.  There were complications, of course, but it all came down to the fact that Savannah was worth every single moment of pain in his life.

            And Elizabeth…and Leigh.  They added to the big picture.  They'll _always _add to the big picture, and if Elizabeth was ever taken away from him, Sirius would have no idea how to live.  Elizabeth made everything all worthwhile…

            Sirius glanced up at the darkening sky, realizing that it was getting later and he hadn't eaten for hours.  He sighed.  

            _It's not like it matters, anyway…_ Sirius couldn't help but think.

            First it was his mother…it started off with her.  It started off something that Sirius wished were never started in the first place…a chain of unfortunate deaths that affected the people around him…_and himself personally_.

            Then there was Minnie…He hadn't known her well, but she was still a part of his life.

            Then Mr. Potter…the father that Sirius never had.  Sirius considered Mr. Potter his own family and know he has no father at all.

            And then…then Kaitlynne…only a few weeks ago…Another one of his friends succumbed to an unfortunate death.

            And then…and then…then came Savannah and Leigh.  A slight tear stroked his cheek, followed by a clutter of them in remembrance of the one thing that made him truly happy.  He loved them with all of his heart.  He knew that he'd never, ever get over Savannah.  Not only was she the love of his life but she made his life worth living.  She made everything else seem trivial. 

            And then there was Allie, Josh, Jenna, and Cole…his friends.  Four more people he had to worry about…

            And then came Caroline Potter…the mother he never had.  Again, as if a part of his family was torn apart. 

And then his _father and sister_…not that it mattered.  He thought they were dead years ago…in fact, he _hoped _they were dead years ago, but they were still two more people that had died because of him and his unfortunate situation. 

            Then his neighbors…_his neighbors_.  Quite random if you asked him, but that was how Voldemort did _everything_.   

            And then the last two people on his list of family.  The last two people that ever mattered to him.  The last two people that were all he had left.  The last of his hope…his dreams…his confidence. And now they were gone.  James and Lily Potter…………

_I had a dream my life would be_

_So different from this hell I'm living_

_So different now from what it seemed_

_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed_

            And every single person, _except for one_, had died because of _Voldemort_!!  It wasn't a coincidence…it was all done purposely to aggravate Lily and James…_and himself_.  Maybe irritating Sirius wasn't intentional, but Voldemort did a very good job at it anyway.  If Voldemort was standing right in front of Sirius, Sirius probably would have killed him in moments just due to his pent-up anger and frustration.

            The rain was letting up a bit, and even though it was still coming down, Sirius barely noticed.  The only things running through his mind were the events of that day.  Starting from the article in the morning, to the sudden and fearful visit of James, Lily, and Harry, to the realization of Remus' lies, to Peter becoming the Secret-Keeper, to…to the two tragic deaths of James Potter and Lily Evans-Potter.

            Finally, Sirius knew what to do.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Peter wore a smile as he walked down the busy streets of London.  He finally did the one thing he was asked to do since day one of training.  He remained by Voldemort's side through everything and let out the secrets of all of his friends…or people who he _called _friends.  They weren't his friends anymore.  They never believed in him.  They never had confidence in him.  They let him tag along and did everything for him.  They always thought he was a weakling…a failure…a simple, nonexistent _rat_.  But, no, he was more.  He was _always _more!!  

            The moment the charm was performed, Peter didn't go home.  He didn't call Sirius or Remus.  He knew what he had to do…go straight to his Master.  And he did just that.  Never in his entire lifetime did he feel so wanted.  Voldemort praised him more than a thousand times and made Peter finally realize that he _was _powerful.  He could make anything happen, and he did just that.

            He was satisfied…

            Peter, as well as the rest of the world, didn't know why Voldemort wasn't able to kill the child.  _A child, for God's sake!!  _No one will probably _ever _know why it happened, but Voldemort was gone…disappeared…in hiding. Where?  No one will know until he has the power and the strength to walk.  Which won't be for a _very _long time, if Peter assumed correctly. 

            But it didn't matter. Yes, Peter was intimidated by Voldemort…but wasn't everyone?  Now that he has disappeared without a trace, Peter would be able to live in peace.

            The whole wizardry and witchcraft world knew about the events of that night…not who was personally involved, but Wizard news traveled fast.  Especially on televisions and radios.  Peter was just lucky he wasn't caught.  But he loved hearing the deaths of James and Lily being repeated over and over again…he loved hearing that Voldemort had run off and nowhere to be found…he loved every minute of it. Why??  Because _he _did that!!  Innocent, small, unnoticeable Peter Pettigrew was in the scheme of it all.  And no one was going to stop him from doing more to the world.

            "_PETER RAFAEL PETTIGREW!!"_ a voice boomed out from far behind him.

            Peter whipped around in confusion and saw an enraged Sirius Black in front of him.  Peter gasped at the sight of Sirius and in one look in Sirius' infuriated eyes, he realized that Sirius knew what happened.  Sirius _knew _Peter was the one giving Voldemort information.  Sirius _knew _Peter had gone straight to Voldemort after the charm was performed.  Sirius _knew _Peter had pragmatically killed James and Lily.  And know Peter knew he was in trouble…more trouble than he's probably _ever _been in with Voldemort.

            But Peter didn't run like he probably should have.  No, he stay put glued to the middle of the back-road and waited for Sirius.  Peter had never felt that powerful than before and he knew it was finally the time to stand up to the one person he always felt slightly fearful of.  The one person he considered a friend was never a true friend to him anyway.  He stood still and smirked, wanting to ruin Sirius the same was Sirius ruined him throughout Hogwarts.

            Sirius met up with Peter with his wand in his hand.  Peter put his hand in his pocket and touched his, just to know that it was there and he was somewhat safe.

            "I know you did it," Sirius said hoarsely with a look of malevolence worn on his face. 

            Peter didn't say anything.  What _could _he have said?

            "I've never been this angry before, _Pettigrew_," Sirius spat out, raising his voice a bit, gripping his wand tighter. "Not just at _you_, but at anyone!!" 

            Peter still didn't reply.

            "Well?  Aren't you going to say something?  You've got to have _some _last words before I blow you to smithereens!"

            "I don't deny it," Peter said, with a playful grin on his face.

            "You better not!!!"

            "It's true.  I killed them…and Allie and Josh and your neighbors and Mrs. and Mr. Potter and…and _Savannah_."

            Sirius stood there in shock as he heard his wife's name being said.  It was true.  Peter killed his wife…_he killed his one true love!_

            Sirius glared at Peter venomously and gripped the wand even tighter, turning his knuckled as white as a ghost as he started trembling in sadness and anger.  "I hate you with passion, Peter.  I always thought you'd be a nothing.  Just a person in the crowd, tagging along.  I can't believe how wrong I was, and I hate knowing that _I'm _going to have to kill one of my friends, but-"

            "_Friend_? I'm not your friend!!  You never saw me as the friend-type.  You were the high-and-almighty Sirius Black who never gave a second glance my way."

            "Yeah, and if I would have known it would have ended up this way, I never would have become friends with you in the first place."

            "I don't need your lecture or your explanations, _Black_!  I've been doing fine without you for as long as I could remember."

            "You call _this_ 'fine?'" Sirius spat.  "No, I call this destructive.  Hazardous.  Appalling.  Offensive. Sickening. Repulsive.  Nauseating.  But, _'fine_' was _not _included!"

            "Yeah, but _you _weren't on Voldemort's side, _were you_? Peter smirked.

            "No, and thank God for that!" Sirius hissed.  "That's what my father was known for…and I disowned him years ago.  I never thought _you'd _be in the same exact position _he _was…but I'm not going to disown you this time.  I'm simply going to kill you…"       

            "So?  Am I actually supposed to believe that??  What are you going to do about it, _Sirius Black_?" Peter cried.  "There are hundreds of Muggles around staring us in the eye.  You can't do anything to me with them surrounding us."

            Sirius narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath in and out full of hostility.  "I don't care about anything except killing _you _off.  An eye for an eye…"

            Peter threw back his head and let a deep, sinister, booming laugh into the crowd of people.  "And how are you going to do _that_?" Peter cried, pulling out his wand.  "The Ministry is running this way, _Black."_

Sirius turned around, and sure enough there stood twelve Ministry members dressed in robes running their way.

Peter continued.  "And if my calculations are correct, they're after _you_.  Dumbledore…Remus…they think _you _caused it.  You were their 'Secret-Keeper'…remember?" Peter smirked.

            Sirius knew he was right, but Sirius didn't care.  He didn't' want to think about anything but the matter at hand…and his built-up anger.

            He pulled out his wand farther out in front of him, but Peter was too quick for Sirius…for _anyone _around him.

            "**_AVADA KEDAVRA_**_!!_"

            And Peter Pettigrew was gone.

**A/N: **ARGH!  I hate Peter sooooooooo much!!!!  I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!!  I hate what he did to the Potters and I hate that he was still able to get away in the third Harry Potter book!!!   That song was "I Dreamed a Dream," from _Les Miserables_ (_great _musical!! 2nd to RENT, that is.) REVIEW PLEASE!


	38. And Then There Was One

**A/N: **I know, I know, it's been a while, but I've just been perfecting these last two chapters, just to make it an absolutely PERFECT ending, if I may say so myself.  (I really like the way the epilogue turned out so I can't wait to post it.  Hopefully that will be soon!!)  Anyway, these last two chapters are winding it all down.  The heartbreak has made it's claim and now it's time for more surprises.  Get ready to cry for Remus because that's all who's left…….

_Sidenote_….so my friends and I were talking today during lunch about the Harry Potter series and we found out that some colleges actually have Harry Potter _classes_ where they just sit and read Harry Potter and then analyze and discuss for hours and days.  How _awesome _is that!?!?  I _soooo_want to do that!  (Congratulate me because I got into my two top college choices, now I just have to make my decision….)

**Disclaimer: **Everything you don't recognize belongs to moi, and everything else belongs to the wonderfully infamous J.K. Rowling (who had better come out with her next book soon!) 

**__**

**__**

**_MEMORIES_**

CHAPTER 39: And Then There Was One  ****

Written by ByeByeBirdie

            Remus sighed.  He looked at the digital clock and it was blinking 12:00 along with "GO TO SLEEP" on the bottom.  He knew the clock was right and that Remus _should _be going to sleep, considering he was exhausted and miserable and aggravated and confused and…about ready to grab his head, yank it off his neck and flush it down the toilet.  But he didn't do that.  He figured that it might be just a bit gruesome.

            He was waiting for a call.  He just wanted to know Lily and James were alright.  He didn't know how long the procedure would take, but he knew it was long enough and that it didn't take twelve hours.  But what was Remus supposed to do?  He called Lily and James a million times, and no answer.  He called Peter, and _still _no answer.  He even tried contacting Sirius a few times that evening, but Rosmerta simply answered the phone and said that Sirius was out taking care of business and probably wouldn't be back for a _long _while.  

_            What the heck did _that_ mean?? _Remus thought.  He understood that Sirius had a procedure to do, but it _had _to be over by now!  

            Remus furrowed his brow and sighed.  Instead of crawling into bed, like he should have done, he sauntered down the stairs at a slow pace.  He was tired of reading.  No good was coming out of that.  He ended up staring at the ceiling for endless amounts of time anyway.

            He peeked in on Landon a few times, but every time he did that, Landon was sound asleep.  Remus only did it to take up time.  He stared at Landon the fifth time he checked on him and smiled.  Landon reminded him so much of Kaitlynne, in every way possible.  Remus always knew that Kaitlynne would be a memory, especially now since he realized she was still living through Landon.

            At around one o'clock in the morning, Remus dozed off, unaware of the events of the earlier night.  If only he knew ahead of time…if only………

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            Remus woke up early the next morning.  It was only four o'clock, ("WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?  IT'S TOO EARLY!") and it took a while for Remus to register why he was sleeping on the couch with his clothes from the previous day still on his body.

            Remus looked towards the phone, which still remained untouched and rubbed his eyes so he could see everything without a blurry side.  _Why haven't they called me!? _Remus thought angrily, almost ready to lash out in frustration.  His friends should _know _that he was worrying about them right now and yet they haven't had the decency to call by now!!

            Remus sighed and almost immediately, Landon started wailing at the top of his lungs, like his every morning ritual.  Remus stumbled up the stairs and into his room, where Landon was sleeping in his crib beside the bed.  He picked Landon up and held him for a few minutes before he finally calmed down a bit.

            Remus fed him and changed him before Remus realized there was absolutely _no _coffee in the house.  Now, normally this wouldn't be so terrible if you like a harried, irate, disturbed, screaming Remus on your case, but Remus would rather make his morning a little more calm than it has been so far.

            "C'mon, Landon, sweetheart," Remus said soothingly.  "You and I need to go take a trip into Hogsmeade so that Daddy could go through the day without falling asleep."

            Remus decided to start work very soon and needed to go into the office early that morning to sign his name up again for his programs.  He felt bad for skipping out on so much work but everyone at work understood, his boss the most.  He knew it was time to get back into his usual routine, the one he had before Kaitlynne was diagnosed with cancer.  He was almost excited to go back to work, just so he could get everything else off his mind.

            Thinking about work actually made Remus felt guilty.  Lately, he hasn't been the best friend to Sirius or Peter or James or even Lily, and he even resulted to distantly lying to them about his whereabouts.  He was still thinking about Kaitlynne, which made him feel, yet again, guilty.  Remus has missed work for the past two months…ever since Kaitlynne had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer in late June.  He spent day and night by her side and barely let her walk anywhere.  He kept her in bed and took care of her…and the baby.  When Landon showed up earlier than they all expected, Remus was scared.  He wasn't sure if Kaitlynne could do it, but she did and she showed not only him but also every single doctor at the hospital.  Unfortunately, as a result of her fatigue and strength-drainage and because of her disease, Kaitlynne didn't have enough energy to keep on with her life.

            So, when Kaitlynne died, Remus blamed it on himself.  He couldn't take it…he couldn't deal with it.  Kaitlynne was his life, and even though he realizes now he couldn't have done anything to prevent her oncoming death, he still felt like he could have kept her in bed longer and gave her more fluids…or something.  

            So, Remus visited her grave more than often enough and left Landon with his friends, claiming to go into work.  The truth is…he hasn't stepped in his work building or area in two months.  He hasn't even _thought _about it.  His thoughts were focused on Kaitlynne and Landon lately.

            And now they were focused on his best friends and how they were getting by.

            Speaking of….._why haven't they called yet!?!?!?_

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

            When Remus entered the Three Broomsticks, he knew something was going on.  It was only four-thirty in the morning, and the place was _jam-packed_.  There was not a table open in sight, and people were spilling into the pathways and sitting on the bar table and the stage in the corner and in the pool tables.  They were all cheering and staring at the television and every so often, someone would start toasting to something or rather.

            Remus knew something was going on…he just didn't know _what_.

            "Excuse me, what's going on?" Remus asked, tapping the first person he saw on the shoulder.

            "You mean you don't _know_!?" the person gasped.

            The whole place got quiet and stared at Remus like he was transforming into a werewolf or something.

            "It's He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" someone cried.

            "Disappeared!"

            "Gone!"

            "Powerless!!"

            "Defenseless!!"

            Remus dropped his jaws.  "_What!?_"

            They all started cheering again, without noticing Remus standing there anymore asking simple-minded questions.  Remus stared at everyone in complete shock.  But…but _how_?? 

_            It couldn't be possible… _Remus thought.  _James and Lily were just talking about him _yesterday _and he seemed out to get them and now…what????_

It didn't make any sense.  Nothing was fitting.  It was like trying to fit the pieces together, except with twenty _different_ jigsaw puzzles, and more than a thousand detailed different pieces.  

            But Remus smiled slowly.  It had to be true.  There wouldn't be hundreds of people in one restaurant if it were thought to be a rumor.  Remus stared at the television that was blaring loudly and clearly and Remus cheered unintentionally…a little late.  But better late than never.

            The looks on the news-anchors faces' were priceless.  They weren't happy…they were _overjoyed! _ And so was everybody else!  Everyone was smiling and cheering! Calling out things that were probably not appropriate, but Remus didn't care.  He joined in.  He didn't know how it happened, but Voldemort was gone and that was the true thing to remember!

            Remus searched the room…not for anything particular.  But he saw Rosmerta in the corner, and he tried to walk over to her, wriggling in and out of people. He slowly made his way to the bar where she was standing behind the counter in the corner with a grim look on her face, which made Remus even _more _suspicious of the whole situation.  She was probably the _ONLY _person in there with a frown on her face.

            "Rosmerta…" Remus said, patting her arm.

            She snapped out of her trance and stared at Remus as if she didn't recognize him.

            "Rosmerta, are you okay?"

            She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.  "I don't know."

            "What is this about Voldemort?  Wh-why is he gone??  What happened??"

            She looked at him strangely.  "You…you haven't heard?" she cried astounded.  "I figured you'd be one of the first people to know…"

            "Well, obviously not, so please spare me some time of finding out from someone else and tell me!" Remus said with an aggravated look on his face.

            She sighed and looked up at him.  "It's the Potters…"

            Remus abruptly turned his head to look her directly in the eyes.  "James and Lily?  What about them?"

            "You-Know-You…well, it was most unfortunate, but he…he killed them early yesterday evening," she whispered.

            Remus dropped his trembling jaw in shock.  No, no…not _them _also.  It couldn't be…it wasn't fair.  Why was this happening all so quickly!?  

            He gasped suddenly realizing that the jigsaw puzzle was beginning to fit…and he didn't like it one bit.

_Memory, all alone in the moonlight_

_I can smile at the old days_

_I was beautiful then_

_I remember the time I knew what happiness was_

_Let the memory live again___

             "N-no…it can't be."

            She nodded cautiously and gently.  "I'm afraid so…"

            Remus looked away as the tears built up inside of his eyelids.  "It's not possible…they were in hiding…" he murmured.

            She shook her head.  "It's true.  He got there without a moment to spare and did it hastily."

            "But…why is everyone cheering?  And why has he disappeared, supposedly _powerless_?  How would Lily and James stop Voldemort?"

            "That's the amazing part," Rosmerta said, a slow grin spreading on to her face.  "He turned towards Harry, you know—their son-"

            "I know who he is," Remus said hastily.

            Rosmerta gave him an impatient face and continued.  "Well, he tried killing Harry, but Harry provided some sort of shield or something and Voldemort couldn't kill him.  Why?  No one knows, but it happened. He just got a measly lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead, to remember this sacred event for all of the years to come."

            Remus' mouth dropped.  "Ha-Harry??

            Rosmerta smiled.  "Yes.  Little Harry Potter, only a few weeks old had managed to drain all of You-Know-Who's power and energy from his body.  How?  Why?  No one knows."

            Remus was in shock.  He and nothing to say at this point…or rather he had _too much _to say and not sure where to start.

            "You-Know-Who _barely _got away before supposedly Sirius Black and Rubeus Hagrid showed up at the scene…" she said, adding the last part with much sorrow.

             "Wait, Sirius showed up??"

            Rosmerta frowned and looked away.  "Yeah, he called me to baby-sit, and ran off.  Unfortunately, that is the ill-fated part to this wonderful event, as it so happens."

            Remus frowned.  _Sirius…but…but he was their Secret-Keeper.  He couldn't do such a thing…no, he wouldn't!!! _Remus thought furiously.  _Would he?_

Remus looked up with a startled face, suddenly realizing that Sirius must have been intertwined with the whole situation.  But Remus refused to believe it.  No, it wasn't possible.  Sirius was _Sirius_.  Remus' funny, smart, good-looking, sarcastic friend that will _always _be funny, smart, good-looking, and sarcastic.  Sirius Black just doesn't turn evil at the snap of a finger.  Sirius couldn't have been a backstabber…..no, he couldn't believe it.  He _wouldn't _believe it!   

            "But, where is Sirius now?  You were baby-sitting for Elizabeth last night, so you must know _something_," Remus asked, afraid to hear the answer.  But Remus had to know what had happened.  If not for himself…for the Potters.

            Rosmerta bowed her head down with grief.  "Sirius met up with Peter Pettigrew later last-"

            "_Peter _was involved??"

            "No…well, in a way he was, I guess…"

            "Well, what happened?  Why was Peter there?"

            Rosmerta sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.  "Supposedly he showed Sirius up and tried to defend himself and the rest of the world." 

            Remus sighed.  This is all so much more complicated than he figured.  First, his best friends dying…now Sirius as the culprit?  He didn't like the thought of it…but all of the evidence was pointing towards his direction.  

            "But Sirius was too quick and he not only blew Peter up, but killed over ten people on the scene…_Muggles_," Rosmerta said with a shudder.

            Remus didn't know what to do…or what to say.  He was truly alone now…no friends…no confidence…no spirit.  First, Lily and James…then Peter…and the fact that Sirius turned around as caused it all…well, Remus wasn't about to praise him for that.  All that was left was Landon…

_Every street lamp seems to beat _

_A fatalistic warning_

_Someone mutters and a street lamp gutters_

_And soon it will be morning_

             "The ministry showed up at the scene only seconds later, and it took _seven _of them to hold Sirius down.  He was brought to Azkaban last night and that's where he shall remain for over eternity," Rosmerta explained.

            This was too much to handle in a period of seconds.  One death was enough for him to deal with, but there were _three _plus the imprisonment of Sirius and ten Muggles??  It just…it just wasn't fair.

            "James…Lily?  And…and Sirius?  _Peter_?" Remus gasped breathlessly.  All of his friends were…were _gone._

Rosmerta simply nodded gravely. 

            "But…but…what about Elizabeth!?" Remus finally had the courage to say, not wanting to hear any more bad news about his supposed best friends.  _Elizabeth_? Remus thought, mentally hitting himself.  _Of all the things you could right about now, you chose to ask about _Elizabeth_???_ __

            "Dumbledore showed up last night around ten o'clock, and I knew immediately something was wrong.  He was to take Elizabeth in, until a home was given to her.  Actually, he was looking for you.  He figured you'd might was to be her guardian."

            Remus roared with laughter.  "_No way!_There is no way in hell I would take the child of a madman and a criminal.  I don't care if he used to be one of my best friends.  He's not anymore…he'll never be anymore.  Especially after murdering three of my _other _closest friends.  If the evidence wasn't staring me straight in the eye, all leaning towards Sirius, I never would have believed it.  But…but I know it's true.  Everything fits.  Especially, since I hold inside information that  proves Sirius is to blame for this big mess," Remus muttered angrily.  "No, I refuse to take care of Elizabeth.  She may be only a child, but she belonged to Sirius.  I don't want to have to wake up and stare her straight in the eye, only to be reminded of this whole mess.  I'm not going to be the one to tell her in the years to come what happened to her father."

            Rosmerta nodded, and patted Remus' arm.  "I understand…and Dumbledore would understand.  His other option was Daniel Marx."

            A lump formed in his throat.  He had forgotten about Daniel, until this moment, but Elizabeth would probably be better off with an abandoner than a person who was best friends with a murderer.  

            "Okay…" Remus cracked.

            Twenty minutes later, Remus had left with the intended coffee…and a whole lot more with him.  The place was still packed with people and showed no sign of letting up.  

            He sighed.  This was it…his dead-end.  There was nowhere to go and nothing to do.  He was on his own now and there was nothing to do about that.  He thought he had hit rock-bottom when Kaitlynne had died but she was just the beginning.  Now he was simply a no one, walking down the streets into a pit of despair.  His life was quickly coming to an unfortunate end and he didn't know what to do.  He knew there _was _nothing to do; he was living on his own, shielded from his future and his fate and now he had to pay for a disastrous past.

            Remus walked into the darkness and into the lifeless streets with Landon in his eyes, who was fast asleep.  There was no one else on the streets.  It was completely vacant. He could hear every cricket chirp, every crunch of a leaf, every swoosh of the trees, every creak of the signs, every muffled cheer coming from the bars and restaurants.  He saw every flicker of the street lights, every twinkle of the faded stars, every sway of the trees, every crawling bug, every movement from inside the restaurants and bars.  But it all reminded him of the fact that he was _outside_…he'll _always _be on the outside.

            The noises…the sights…_the people_.  They were everywhere…staring him in the face. Surrounding him with the memories of everything.  _Everyone_.  

            They were informing him of the tragedies.  Not just _one _tragedy…_many _tragedies.  Many heart-stopping, earth-shattering, shock-revealing, fearful, inessential misfortunes that were simply reminding Remus of who he really is…who he _always _was.  He was stranded, alone, and heart-broken…and there was no one to turn to.  He was living a life of emptiness and desolation like he had in the beginning…like he figured he'd have forever.

            But…Hogwarts changed who he was.  Remus was given a chance.  A chance to fit in.  A chance to be someone and to do something and to _go _somewhere.  Of course, Dumbledore did it all because he _always _did it all…he was always there making everyone happy, but it wasn't only Dumbledore.  It was those friends that he's always known.  

            Those friends that made him believe that when there was a will, there was a way.  They didn't neglect him and refused to exclude him out of their lives.  Instead, they did the one thing Remus would never have believed they did, unless he wasn't there.  They not only became his friends…they became Animagi.  Why?  _For him_.  Remus became stronger because of them.  He earned the energy and the power to finally resist against further weaknesses.   He wouldn't be where he was or _who _he was without them…and now there's no one left to prove it.

            A tear fell from Remus' soft, shadowed eyes slowly and painfully in remembrance of those people who made a difference.  His _friends_.  They meant everything to him, and he'd never forget it. 

            Another tear fell from Remus, and he leaned against the lamppost to hold himself up.  He looked up and was greeted by light rain.  He watched it drift slowly to the ground with a _'plop_._'_

_            Plop.  Plop_.  

            Remus hated the loneliness…the darkness…the melancholy.  It was so quiet, and there was nothing Remus could do about it.  This was how his life was going to be.  Remus looked up into the vast sky and cried out furiously and unexpectedly.  He screamed…he yelled…he shouted.  What else was there to do?  The extensive sky was staring him in his face and laughing at him…reminding him that the world was so enormous, but that he was just one irrelevant person in the world of zillions.  He didn't make a difference.  He was one worthless man put on that earth to be tortured.  And tortured, he was.  Everything was downhill from there.  The peak of his domination and superiority was no longer pertinent.  Nothing mattered anymore…_nothing_.

            And the boundless, vast, dismal sky reminded him of it.  The stars were worthless, just like he was.  Remus felt like he could have done something to salvage James and Lily, but it was too late.  Everything was done and in the past.  And there he stood…completely shunned from the rest of the world.  He had a secret…the deep, dark past that would remain unextensive.  And now, that's where his friends remained.  In a fearful secret that no one in the world will ever understand.   

_            How could Sirius do that? _Remus though.  _Sirius Black…my _friend_…_JAMES' _friend_!! 

            Remus would _never _have believed it.  Sirius and James were inseparable.  They did everything together and went everywhere together.  Why would Sirius turn over to the dark-side?  _Why_!?  He was so innocent…so young…so _free_. Everything was going to change now.  Everything was going to be different…desolate…quiet…awkward…altered... 

            Living a life of memories…

_Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise_

_I must think of a new life_

_And I mustn't give in_

_When the dawn comes, _

_Tonight will be a memory, too_

_And a new day will begin_

**A/N: **Sigh  Poor Remus.  He has no one left :-( But it's true.  Life is just full of memories that will always remind us of who we are.  "Tonight will be a memory, too, and a new day will begin."  ["Memory," from the musical Cats.]  That's my all-time favorite quote, because it makes the most sense. 

One more chapter left, but this really is the ending.  This really shows you what the whole story is about.  Please review.

Love always, ByeByeBirdie…..


	39. Epilogue: Memories Live On

**A/N: **Well, here I am, back for my last chapter…………this was a long story to write, but I enjoyed it.  I think I like writing longer stories than shorter ones because you can capture a wider audience and it's more fun to read the results and all of the various plot detials (and when you get to the end of writing, you've just spent so much time writing _one_ Harry Potter fanfic, but you feel as if you've accomplished something…).  I am in the middle of writing a few other fanfics and hopefully I'll get to finish one before summer and before I go off to college.  I'm not sure if I like where some of them are going so I just have to keep writing and see what I like the most.  

**MEMORIES**

CHAPTER 40: Epilogue: The Memories Live On ****

Written by ByeByeBirdie 

_Thirteen years later…_

Remus lost his job ten years earlier after his boss found out about him being a werewolf.  Ever since then, he hasn't been able to find a permanent job.  Occasionally, he'd get lucky and earn a job somewhere, maybe as a waiter or a desk job or something completely unfulfilling, but Remus needed the money especially for Landon…though after Landon died, Remus found no need in _anything _anymore, especially life.  Usually, he ended up either getting laid off…or he quit.  Nothing satisfied him enough. 

            But when Dumbledore sought him out and asked him if he'd be willing to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, Remus was a little suspicious.  I mean, why would he choose Remus to teach the class?  Remus didn't have much expertise in the Dark Arts…or so he thought.  Dumbledore explained that there weren't many people willing to uphold the position and Remus was as good of a teacher as anyone.  Remus was a werewolf…he encountered strange things _every _day due to it.  

            …And Dumbledore reminded Remus about thirteen years earlier when Voldemort killed his friends.  When he killed his last ounce of hope and survival.  James, Lily, Savannah, Allie, Josh, etc.  Remus knew immediately that he owed it to the outside world…to the children…to his _friends_.  The rest of the world deserves to know what's out there.  He knew more about the Dark Arts than he thought he did, and so Remus took the job without wasting another second.

            Remus hadn't thought about any of his Hogwarts' friends until Dumbledore mentioned them, mostly because every time he remembered one of them, he'd end up going into a state of depression that only made everything worse.  His friends were all he ever had and without them in his life, he's just been wandering aimlessly trying to find some meaning.    

            But when Remus found out that Sirius had escaped from Azkaban, Remus was alert and ready to hunt him down and demand to know why he did it to his best friends.  Remus deserved the good-for-nothing, honest, forsaken truth behind it all.  He wasn't going to die until he spoke to Sirius himself…which was partly the reason why Remus has been keeping himself from remembering his friends: Suicide attempts.  Remus _has _thought about it, but killing himself without knowing _why _just didn't seem…well, fair.  Not only to himself, but to James and to Lily.  They were the ones who deserved to know why.  

            Then there was Landon.  

            He had died at the age of five.  And surprisingly (and Remus thought it fortunate), it wasn't because of Lord Voldemort.  Instead, the werewolf genes had kicked in by then and because Remus had no idea that it was hereditary, Landon had transformed on the same night as Remus.  Remus was in the shed outside his home, but Landon was inside, unsafe, and unprotected.  He had ripped himself to pieces before Remus could do anything about it.

            Remus sighed and shuddered.  Just remembering that single moment when Remus walked inside early the next morning to find a half-eaten, dead Landon Lupin on the floor of Landon's bedroom, was enough to make Remus burst into tears right then and there.  Landon was all he had left and when he had died, Remus never thought he could go on…

            But Remus shook the thought out of his mind, and began closing his eyes.  The past wasn't going to hold any answers, so Remus started thinking of the future. 

            He was on the Hogwarts Express, in an empty compartment in the back of the train.  Two nights earlier, he had transformed and was still pretty exhausted from it.  He let his eyelids droop slowly and felt himself fall asleep.  He was asleep by the time the compartment door opened and three students walked in and sat down, and Remus didn't realize they were there. 

            But sooner or later, a jerking of the train and the chill in the air woke Remus up.  The lights flickered and immediately shut off.  "What the-" but Remus didn't need to finish his sentence, because walking into their compartment at that second were a few Dementors.  He took out his wand and tried to summon them away, but it did no good.  Remus stood up, practically tripping over sprawled bodies on the floor, and marched them out and away angrily.  He didn't need to be taken over by a few of pathetic Dementors, who were simply on the look-out for Sirius.

            Remus turned towards the students that were in the compartment, and there were quite a few of them.  "Is everyone alright?" he said gruffly.  The compartment was still a bit dark, with the lights flickering off and on, and Remus had the chance to look around.  There were four red-headed students on the ground shaking, two that were obviously twins, a frightened pudgy brown-haired kid with widened-eyes and a tall, lanky, young brown-haired girl who was leaning against the seat muttering something to someone behind her.  He looked at whom she was standing over and gasped softly.  He knew the person on the ground. He would know him _anywhere_. It was Harry Potter…a fainted Harry Potter, but nonetheless it was still _the _Harry Potter.

            Remus took a deep breath in and out.  Just looking at Harry reminded Remus of James.  They looked exactly alike, with the messy black hair and the glasses and the brown eyes…and Remus knew that James would be standing proud right at that very moment if he were still alive, watching over Harry.

            Remus hadn't seen or even _thought _about Harry since the tragic deaths of the Potter.  In fact, Remus almost forgot that there was still a hint of his past living.  Remus tried to keep all of the horrible thoughts out of his head.  Thinking about the Potters and Sirius and Peter sent mixed-up emotions to Remus' head and heart.  But looking at Harry, Remus knew that he wasn't confused anymore…he wasn't upset anymore.  He was happy.  Happy to be back, reunited with him.  Happy to be able to watch over James' son.  Happy to finally know that there was something he could do in the world.  And happy to finally see _James_ again through Harry.

            _Harry Potter_… Remus thought in awe.

            The memories live on…….

_Memory, all alone in the moonlight_

_I can smile at the old days_

_I was beautiful then_

_I remember the time I knew what happiness was_

_Let the memory live again___

_Every street lamp seems to beat _

_A fatalistic warning_

_Someone mutters and a street lamp gutters_

_And soon it will be morning_

_Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise_

_I must think of a new life_

_And I mustn't give in_

_When the dawn comes, _

_Tonight will be a memory, too_

_And a new day will begin_

**A/N: **So??  What did you all think!?  Review please!!!!!!!!!  Okay, now this is the part where I thank all of my reviewers who have reviewed once (alphabetical order): Alexia, Amelia, Anna Chelle, annie, AshliRyTe, beauty, chicy12, crimsonthread, Danni is Divine James is Mine, darkness, The Divine Miss M, Dumbledore's Heir, erin, gd, Ggal, heather, hefelump, irishchic799, James' grl, jenaleyn, just me, kat6528, Kaye, kelliethehottie, Kim, Kool-aid, Laina3, Lanne, Lauryn2, Lisa, little goober, littocherryblossom, Living in a Nightmare, Maddie, MarauderFan4ever, Marauder Girl, Marie, me, Mini Padfoot, Nat, nikki, NoraLiese, padfootsgrl, Phat Truffles, ShangLady Knight, Sheep, sirius' lover, starbabe, sunshine, Sun Star, Surely Sagittarian, tash, tash6, thucci, Tomoyo Sakura, twinsRus87, and Videl6.

Here is the part where I thank all of my reviewers who have reviewed MORE than once: Thanks to frostedflake333—9 times; Ara Catin, Channy, and Stephy Chan—6 times; Lily Evans Potter9, LJstagflower4e/JCtigerwolf4e, ShadowFox991, wizardduel2—3 times; Alriadne, Alyssa, Danielle, pInKpIlLo6, hart-break, Jen, Lvz2Read, nallitie, and time-stitch—2 times; and of course to my favorite reviewer: **Natalie**, who has reviewed FIFTEEN times!!!!!!  Thanks so much for everything!

Well, that's it.  This is the end of "Memories." I can feel the tears and I can see the sad faces, but you should be happy that it's done!  You know the end and there aren't any cliffhangers!!!!  Now all that's left is waiting for me to post a new story (which will be coming soon, I hope……sooner if I hear some feedback!!!!)  Thanks again to EVERYONE!  

"Dream like you'd live forever; live like you'd die today…"  --James Dean

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose..."

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the memories that take our breath away..."


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